Cruelty to children

[Fionn]

I was horrified to read the latest case of the little girl killed by her parents after 2 years of abuse. I know there are similar stories every week in the papers, but I'm constantly amazed that so many cases of mistreatment go undetected for so long. In this latest case, I don't understand why at some point midwives/the GP/health visitor/friends and relatives didn't realise something was wrong and report the family before it was too late. I must admit I couldn't bring myself to read the details of the case, so there probably was some "explanation" of why this little girl wasn't rescued.
When my children were babies I took them fairly regularly to the health visitor to be weighed. This isn't compulsory, which is largely a good thing, but I can't help thinking that perhaps there should be a little more state interference in the welfare of infants if it would stop babies and children being mistreated by their carers. Apart from the checks at 9 months, 18 months and 3 years or whatever (and they're not compulsory as far as I know), there seems no safety net to detect and protect infants in abusive families. Sometimes I think if people were a little more nosey when it mattered a few more children might be saved from cruelty in the home.
Sorry this is a bit rambling, just wanted to say something about it. And yesterday I had a letter from the NSPCC asking me if I would increase my monthly contribution to them. It seem so unfair that the welfare of so many children is dependent on charity when so much government money is spent on so many other things...

[Lucy123]

I agree Fionn - this and a frightful number of similar cases are absolutely awful.

I would say though that Social Services are stretched to breaking point partly due to funding, yes, but aren't they also having a major recruitment crisis? And I'm not surprised really as they can't seem to win - one minute everyone's complaining they took kids from good parents, the next they can't take the kids away fast enough. (a bit like teachers really - results are worse, blame the teachers; results are better, standards must be slipping). Possibly you're right though that certain checks should be compulsory (but I can hear the outcry already...)

I really feel for the social workers in cases like this as I can think of many reasons why a case would be missed. And wasn't the NSPCC also given a slap on the wrist over the Anna Climbie case?

[Chinchilla]

When I heard about this story, I was in my car. I actually sat there and cried. I am just an emotional wreck at times, and everything seems to upset me, especially if it relates to children. To top it off, the same day I heard that they had found Milly Dowler's body. I knew in my heart that she was likely to be was dead, but one always hopes for the best. I then spent the whole evening feeling sad. It reached the point where my dh changed channels when the news came on!

I felt much happier the next day, but things like this really get to me. I just cannot get my head around the fact that there are people in this world who could wilfully hurt any living creature, especially children and animals who rely on adults for love and protection.

The sad thing is that the parents of the 2 year old could not be tried for murder because there was no provable intention of the parents to kill her. So, they get 10 and 12 years, when really they should rot in prison for the rest of their lives IMO. Such long term neglect and abuse is unforgivable, and it is sad that no-one could/did intervene in time. The thought of that poor child's life breaks my heart.

[ionesmum]

I feel exactly the same, Chinchilla. My little dd is so precious that it breaks my heart to look at her, and I just simply cannot imagine anyone hurting their own child. I wish that I could have gone to her house and taken her away and given her the love that she so desperately deserved.

[Willow2]

It makes me feel sick - I know it's a knee jerk reaction, but I hope they get the xxxx beaten out of them in prison and experience what it is like to be truly terrified, just as that poor child must have been.

[PamT]

DH and I are always stunned that anyone can do such horrific things to children. We love our own and would never want to inflict such atrocities on them so find it difficult to understand what motivates murderers, paedophiles etc.

Has anyone seen the Barnardos poster on hoardings? It says 'prostitution steals children's lives' and shows a person sat on a bed with a girl's body but an old lady's face. I feel ill every time I see it and it was on 3 boards within 100 yds yesterday as we drove through Bradford (notorious for its red light district - 'Band of Gold' was filmed there).

[janh]

The good thing about this case is that they were both convicted. I remember another case not so long ago where the parents blamed each other and because the jury couldn't be sure who did what they were both acquitted.

re the social workers in this case; the child was on the at-risk register from birth but was removed by Social Services at 12 months, against the advice of the health care people. She was put back on at about 18 months (I think - maybe a bit later) but was never seen in the 5 months before she died, including an appointment for them to visit her 3 days before she died, which rings horrible bells about little Lauren in Norfolk.

The parents were very frightneing unpleasant people but for heaven's sake, can't social workers get a police escort with people like this? The head of Social Services says there were failings which will be addressed or words to that effect.

The mother had a pretty awful childhood herself - raped by members of her family when very young. But this couple had other children who were not abused. There was something about her being jealous of this child. It's never straightforward - however terrible the things people do, there is almost always something in their background to explain it and, if they're not very bright, almost to excuse it.

That picture they show of the beaming 2-yr-old child with the birthday greetings on the wall behind her breaks my heart.

[bayleaf]

Chinchilla - that was me- I was stopped at traffic lights and when they changed I couldn't see to drive because my eyes were full of tears. What got to me was the intentional cruelty - you can almost understand how 'inadequate' parents with low coping thresholds shake their children to death or hit them too hard in a moment of anger - but the long term cruelty of just not feeding her and the cigarette burns took my breath away - HOW can anyone do that to their own child?
Yes social services do seem to be at fault - but then who would want to be a social worker these days? Overworked, given abuse by their 'clients' and the general public alike - not well paid - it's not a career choice I would make!

[tigermoth]

Fionn, I think you've raised a really interesting point about taking babies and pre school children to a health visitor to be regularly weighed and checked. Like you, I am surprised how few compulsary visits to the HV are required in the first three years of life. Surely more cases of child abuse could be picked up if parents were legally obliged to get their children seen by a HV, at least every sixr months? Penalities for not complying could be severe. OK might lay the state open to charges of interference, but if social services can't cope, what else can be done?

This is assuming the staffing crisis for social workers is more than the staffing crisis for health visitors, as increased visits to HVs would up their workload.

[angharad]

The Guardian article suggested that the mother thought the father was abusing the girl and that the girl was "breaking up" the mother's realtionship with the father. It's so horrible, I often see people shouting/hurting their kids in town or on the bus and wonder what they do at home...

[AnnieMo]

I too am absolutely horrified when I hear of a child being abused - there is a case locally at the moment of a baby being ill treated and subsequently dying -and she was exactly the same age as my own son. I just cannot imagine purposefully inflicting pain on my child and hearing them scream - they are so helpless and cry out for our love and protection. Like ionesmum I just want to protect any child like this. My husband and I often think about fostering and everytime I see a case like this the more I want to do it.

I remember going to a talk a few years back from a hospital paediatrician dealing with non accidental injuries. He said he could almost understand the parent who lashes out at a child when under stress but the systematic abuse of a child is unforgivable - I agree with him - we may all have been in that position where a screaming baby or toddler may be close to sending us over the edge when life is so stressful - but how could anyone premeditatedly inflict pain on a child again and again.

[susanmt]

This case really affected me too, had me in tears. When this little girl died she was the same age as my dd is now. And she weighed the same as my 7 month old ds does now. That really brought it home to me - ho could someone deliberatly do this to the child they were supposed to love. I wish I knew.

[bundle]

when my dd was tiny, I took her a lot to be weighed, she was very skinny and bfeeding took ages to get established. I complained to one of the other health visitors that I thought mine was ignoring me and looking over my shoulder all the time she was supposed to be listening to me about my worries (even writing incorrect things down in my red book she was so distracted). anyway the other hv said 'oh she's probably looking out for certain families & trying to grab them before they leave after having their babies weighed...who are on the at-risk register'. it made me feel bad to think there are children whose only lifeline could be that little contact with a hv, and I felt humbled. I live near to the church where Victoria Climbie was taken to, just before she died by her cruel aunt and it sickens me to think I was pregnant at the time and I could have walked past them but ignored them because the little mite apparently smelled so badly of wee etc that very few people went near her. these children need the rest of us to help them if we can, by reporting anything we see in our communities which we feel is unacceptable. sorry a bit soapboxy but it's very distressing to hear of such things happening around us.