I have just done the most horrendeous thing in the world!

(452 Posts)
southeastastra Thu 01-Nov-07 17:19:33

it happens automatically, i always come across mn threads whilst googling

lisalisa Thu 01-Nov-07 17:15:43

Message withdrawn

crayon Wed 17-Oct-07 21:29:43

Bumping because I can't bear this hilarious thread to end (sorry Lisalisa)

notjustmom Wed 17-Oct-07 11:01:47

Message withdrawn

popsycal Mon 15-Oct-07 13:16:05

OMG I have only just found this. I have been crying with laughter for the last ten minutes. It began with the telephone conversation picturing the cominc stepping towards the phone of the gaggle of teachers as ds utters 'but you know we shouldn't lie mummy', was worse imagining the pants being thrown round the dinner hall. Then I calmed a little until the 'at home' chat then was inconsolable with the chat with the teacher!!!

Doodle's pubes in the wedding poppers just finished me off. And then when Suzanne Mole was mentioned (who, incidently, I have beaten in many a dance competition as a child), I got a little bit of sick in my mouth from laughing so much.

Thanks - really needed a good laugh!

Wallace Sun 14-Oct-07 13:34:52

sympathies to lillyla btw, hers was not so funny

Wallace Sun 14-Oct-07 13:33:04

This thread is so funny grin

This knicker/swimming bag/lunchbag think seems to happen quite often Spooky coincidence don't you think!

mumofDJ Sun 14-Oct-07 13:18:45

oh my goodness it really can be found on google!! oh my goodness!!!!

OMGhelp Sun 14-Oct-07 10:06:03

I woke up first, lazy cup of tea on a Sunday morning and had a MN trawl and found this wonderful thread. My DH came in and found me with legs crossed and tears running down my face, laughing so much I was choking.
And yes it is on Google. lisalisa knickers

You are famous! or should that be infamous.

Thank you Lisa.

mumofDJ Sun 14-Oct-07 09:35:30

yes, youre the MSN pal spookybexieboo!!!! Dropping you right in it!! tee hee x x x grin

SpOOkyBexiebOO Sun 14-Oct-07 09:33:31


mumofDJ Sun 14-Oct-07 09:22:31

aw man i havent laughed so much for AGES X X X X X X even showed my DH whos a teacher and he was ending himself - I didnt even see this thread for myself lol a mumsnet pal MSN'd me......grin

crayon Sat 13-Oct-07 11:05:36

Lisalisa - your nanny isn't Katrina Wilkinson is she? wink

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha you just can't make that up !! Poor thing you

NannyL Sat 13-Oct-07 00:02:34

have just LMAOed at whole thread grin

shock at even suggesting te knickers were the nannies hmm

lillyla Fri 12-Oct-07 23:24:05

will start another thread, me thinks!

lillyla Fri 12-Oct-07 23:23:02


So are any other of you mums excited about the day of sport tomorrow? Or is it just me?

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 23:02:49

Yes, alright, I heard you the first time!

And it won't go in MN Classics, lisalisa would prefer her shame be allowed to slip away... wink

TheEvilDediderata Fri 12-Oct-07 23:01:11

I think we're spoiling an MN classic with our small talk.

We should remove to other threads, methinks.

TheEvilDediderata Fri 12-Oct-07 23:01:10

I think we're spoiling an MN classic with our small talk.

We should remove to other threads, methinks.

TheEvilDediderata Fri 12-Oct-07 23:00:07

If I was her husband .....

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 22:58:58

I'm going to a friend's house to watch. She's irish. She's supporting France. Her husband may leave her if France wins! grin

lillyla Fri 12-Oct-07 22:58:02

Oh and yes GO JONNY can't wait for tomorrow - footie and Rugger!!

SatanGeorge Fri 12-Oct-07 22:58:01

Snurk. With safe search on there are only 3 items, 2 of them are MN grin

TheEvilDediderata Fri 12-Oct-07 22:57:20

Ha ha! I see what you mean. Good old Cali grin

<I think we're going to stuff them tomorrow, just like we did in the semi-finals four years ago>

lillyla Fri 12-Oct-07 22:57:19

Girls, only just read the whole thread from start to finish! My Fridays will never be the same again - how funny! What a shame it was spoilt by that kat person - never mind I'm sure she's sitting at home reading as we speak! So lisalisa you don't want to be famous then??

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 22:55:06

Go Jonny! grin

TheEvilDediderata Fri 12-Oct-07 22:54:37

<goes back to check>

I mean, I saw the MN thread on Google, but not on images. OK, let's try again.

<and England for the cup!!>

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 22:48:10

Desi, did you not see something VERY MN when you looked on Google images...?

TheEvilDediderata Fri 12-Oct-07 22:40:23

Well, I have moderate safe search on mine, and I can't find anything.

Just to give you a modicum of comfort.

Lisalisa seems to be a popular name, though! Then again, I haven't googled mine!!

Lolala, our children are all neglected! Social services need only go to mumsnet towers to find their whole caseload!

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 22:28:37

Go to google images, put in lisalisa knickers (no quotes) and go to page 4 (this is without safe search on).

how did THAT get there!!!

susiecutie Fri 12-Oct-07 22:24:37

Good god! I have just googled... shock shock


it;ll be ok poppet, it will go away eventually. wink

crayon Fri 12-Oct-07 22:11:57

I hope Lisalisa isn't a irl nickname too - try googling 'Lisalisa knickers' shock

newgirl Fri 12-Oct-07 19:54:57

ah yes the clues of a mumsnetter...house could do with cleaning, lots of toast for lunch, aversion to crocs, and lots of boden sale bargains

and a knowing smirk if people talk about whats in their kids lunchbag

flowerybeanbag Fri 12-Oct-07 19:23:04

lolala welcome.

When mumsnetting it is essential to develop excellent multi-tasking abilities.

Or alternatively you can delegate your entire job, teach your children self-sufficiency and live in a pile of dust..


It's addictive you know!

LittleMissTroubled Fri 12-Oct-07 19:20:49

Lisa, bet you didnt think your knickers would make you this famous! i was just telling my friend over the phone and we were crying laughing.

Soon you will be able to go to exclusive clubs and say at the door 'dont you know who i am? lisalisaknickers!' grin

Lolala Fri 12-Oct-07 19:14:11

New to this site. Recommended by a friend and just flicked through the story. Very amusing but how do you find the time to do this and hold down your job and manage the children??

LittleMissTroubled Fri 12-Oct-07 19:11:39

lol @ littlelapin's limerick!

flowerybeanbag Fri 12-Oct-07 19:07:50

PMSL at the poetry, and at the link to Katwilko's thread as well.

Who's Suzanne Mole when she's at home then??

orangehead Fri 12-Oct-07 18:28:56

oh lisa, well done u so brave. Thanks 4 sharing

SpookyBearistheSpookyBear Fri 12-Oct-07 18:24:17

OMG sorry, wrong thread...

SpookyBearistheSpookyBear Fri 12-Oct-07 18:22:29

I bought a very firm breast feeding cushion, recommended to me by a breast feeding consultant at Kings, and it was the BEST thing I bought.

Cost about £35 but meant that I breastfed DD1 when otherwise I would have given up within days.

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 18:17:07


And just read the link to Katwilko - shame someone else was trolling on HER thread! And what a poor taste thread it was too!

Nice to know you reap what you sow.

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 17:58:25

Lisalisa was distraught
Life ruined in a jiffy
She'd sent her son to school with pants
Of hers that were quite whiffy!

She turned to Mumsnet for some help
Said "Lord, I've made a clunker"
But her biggest mistake by far
Was caused by Hunkermunker.

She called her young boy on the phone
Begged "Son, you must not tell,
Your lunch is made by Marks and Sparks,
It's cotton, and it smells".

He promised he would be discreet
But never trust a child
He proudly show the school at large
The dining hall went wild!

The daily school run's now a trial
And the moral of this yarn-o
To save your blushes, wash your pants!
Or always go commando!

Budcat Fri 12-Oct-07 17:33:19

Good one LisaLisa. There for the grace of God...It will be forgotton by Monday. Have laughed until I cried my mascara away and now missed a deadline. B**r!


Bessie123 Fri 12-Oct-07 17:32:23

This is a good find - most mumsnet threads I have seen are full of humourless, prissy killjoys; thanks for the laughs, Lisalisa grin

DoctorFrankenSquonk Fri 12-Oct-07 16:53:22

"those nicks you see they belong to the boy"

fantastic line grin

brilliant, so funny had to read your posts out to dh. as for mrs "we put all our dirty laundry straight in the machine", well I hope one of her dc's puts a red sock in with her white egytian cotton beadspreads!

Meglet Fri 12-Oct-07 16:27:44

lisalisa, at least it's the weekend. No school for a couple of days. Maybe you could get a memory zapping thingy (like on Men in Black) and do the whole school? No one will ever know.........

GinGirl Fri 12-Oct-07 16:27:12

Have just woken my 12 day old daughter with my snorting and sniggering at this thread, so must dash and rescue her from her prison (otherwise known as the moses basket)

But just wanted to say a huge thank-you to lisalisa and everyone else! Just think, lisa could have kept quiet and we would never have known.... Lisa you really are a very special person! grin

SaintJude Fri 12-Oct-07 16:20:41

THere was a lawyer from the city
Whose knickers were grubby and shitty
Her slovenly ways
were vastly repaid
when her she left them in her DS's kitty.

eleusis Fri 12-Oct-07 16:17:00

My amateur poetry attempt:

Lisalisa sent her nicks to school
Lisa's boy mistook her for a fool

He took them out and sent them round
A bit of poo they said they found

But our Lisa oh she is coy
Those nick you see, "they belong to the boy!".

eleusis Fri 12-Oct-07 16:10:11

Can we have a poetry competition about this thread?

And has anyone learned not to put their real name in their sceenname????

I certainly know enough about Lisa to work out who she was if I met her in real life. But, I promise not to reveal any of it here on this thread, Lisa. wink

alycat Fri 12-Oct-07 15:46:27

I was laughing loudly and crying as I read this earlier, my scary stalker of a new Au Pair really thinks I'm nuts now!!!

Lisalisa I declare,
I can see your underwear,
is it black or is it white?
oh my god this thread's dynamite!!! grin

Really cheered my up, you are a great sport.

Jekyllywoo Fri 12-Oct-07 15:32:06

Do you think this is the same katwilko here:


And she's worried about us having no life.

SaintJude Fri 12-Oct-07 15:22:52


Good recovery grin

Katwilko has been banned. Hopefully she'll be sitting there seething whilst reading this wink

Which of course she wont, because it is sooooo dull......

I could replicate on of her posts but I dont think MNHQ would appreciate it.

CatIsSleepy Fri 12-Oct-07 15:20:08

lisalisa don't panic!
I've never met a MN-er in real life (people don't tend to admit to it I think wink
your secret is safe

Dinosaur Fri 12-Oct-07 14:57:25

Oh, are you moving firms too? I'm in the throes of doing the same - am spending all my time in blimmin' interviews at the moment!

DoctorFrankenSquonk Fri 12-Oct-07 14:55:35

well, my advice would be just to have the one lisa in your rl name wink

lisalisa Fri 12-Oct-07 14:55:05

Message withdrawn

lisalisa Fri 12-Oct-07 14:54:12

Message withdrawn

DoctorFrankenSquonk Fri 12-Oct-07 14:52:41

okay, I'll stop. I'll forget I ever read this thread.

lisalisawho? never heard of her.


lisalisa Fri 12-Oct-07 14:51:11

Message withdrawn

lisalisa Fri 12-Oct-07 14:50:12

Message withdrawn

DoctorFrankenSquonk Fri 12-Oct-07 14:47:39

just think, lisalisa, this time next week there'll be badges, teeshirts and handbags all with the slogan "I've seen lisalisa's knickers... have you?" all over the UK

will your face be shock when someone walks past you wearing one?

And will you admit your fame?

Dinosaur Fri 12-Oct-07 14:42:32

Oh lisalisa...

...my heart goes out to you...

but grin

justaboutmurdering Fri 12-Oct-07 14:34:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cherrycake Fri 12-Oct-07 14:18:06


Well done Lisalisa, hope u have a less stressful weekend!

CatIsSleepy Fri 12-Oct-07 13:50:35

<<applauds lisalisa>>


Hulababy Fri 12-Oct-07 13:17:27

Well done lisalisa - can't beleive you brazened it out at school!

I missed the troll. I always miss the troll!

YeahBut Fri 12-Oct-07 13:14:20

New mumsnet classic. Do you think we can get "Where are lisalisa's knickers?" into popular mumsnetspeak a la "UCM is that you?"

spooklesandwhine Fri 12-Oct-07 13:13:13

well done lisa don't know how you pulled that off with a straight face - bbut bloody well done! grin

i'm going to save this thread and read it every time i need a good laugh!! grin

LittleMissTroubled Fri 12-Oct-07 13:12:16

PMSL when my boss asks why i did no work today im blaming you lisalisa! ive spent half the day ready this! funniest thing ive heard in ages! grin

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 13:07:25

lisalisa - well done!

It will all be forgotten by January I am sure!

And thanks for coming back I can leave now and do some house work on my day off!!!

annh Fri 12-Oct-07 12:54:25

Thank God I didn't read this yesterday when I was at work but am catching up with it today at home! I am almost crying with laughter, heaven knows what I would have been like in an office full of people!

lilmissmummy Fri 12-Oct-07 12:53:50

Hi lisalisa that has to be the funniest thing that I have read for ages! I cant believe the courage you had facing those people this morning walking into school. You are my hero!!!!!

lololololol grin x

Debz99 Fri 12-Oct-07 12:49:01

Soooooooo funny ... has taken me ages to read through it all but have had a good chuckle and showed a few work colleagues !!! Sorry LisaLisa just couldn't resist ! grin

EllHell Fri 12-Oct-07 12:34:34

Ahem... I refer you to my post of 10.44.54 yesterday. You can't say you weren't warned! grin

This is totally the funniest thing I've read for months, and a random troll turning up and telling us all to get a life just made it funnier for me. (As if anything could be more important than preserving your good name and last vestiges of dignity in the face of a pants/lunchbox mix-up.)

lisalisa Fri 12-Oct-07 12:34:14

Message withdrawn

eleusis Fri 12-Oct-07 12:28:19

Oh too funny Lisa. I don't think DS will pass the nickers round again. You could get him back further by washing all his underwear with the red shirts hance turning his knickers (assuming they are white) a nice shade of pink.

You are so funny. I can't believe you pulled that off with a straight face.

Can't wait to hear what happens when it gets back to your DS1 that they were in fact his poo knickers.

Doodledootoo Fri 12-Oct-07 12:28:01

Message withdrawn

tortoiseSHELL Fri 12-Oct-07 12:24:39

pmsl lisalisa - I am in awe of you! NO WAY would I have gone in today! What a fab thread!

Reminds me of when dh had washed his jeans, and just COULD NOT fasten them, which ds1 found inordinately funny, and they were a bit late setting off, because those jeans just would not do up.

On picking ds1 up, he told me that he had told his best friend about it, who had found it so funny, that ds1 thought that it would be a good idea to tell the class about it in 'show and tell', including his class teacher who is a very good friend of ours....he said 'I said that we were so late for school this morning because Daddy couldn't get his trousers on - he couldn't fasten them and was all hanging out of them'. He then thought he might inform the head 'so that the head could announce it in assembly...'

spooklesandwhine Fri 12-Oct-07 12:15:05


littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 12:13:46

LOLOLOLOL!!!!! grin

Pompous old moo at the end though! Clearly NOT a MNer!

DoctorFrankenSquonk Fri 12-Oct-07 12:12:21



well, he deserved it

lisalisa Fri 12-Oct-07 12:10:06

Message withdrawn

lemonaid Fri 12-Oct-07 11:54:53

Perhaps lisalisa has continued her track record of following MN advice and has already had radical cosmetic surgery, changed her name and emigrated?

By the way, lisalisa, is your screen name after Bombadiers or just after being called Lisa?

starfish2 Fri 12-Oct-07 11:47:17

I just read this and I have been spluttering my tea all over the monitor. FAB! grin grin grin grin grin
lisalisa, just go there and completely pretend nothing has ever happened. Straight-faced. Anything said about it and you pretend you know nothing about it. Nothing.

PMSL and ROFL at the story about the poppers on wedding day. Could not stop crying with laughter. Also reminded me of the day I walked down the road with my skirt in my knickers blush. They were clean, though wink

MascaraOHara Fri 12-Oct-07 11:47:14

Oh where is she? I'll be going soon.. and I need to know.

Doodledootoo Fri 12-Oct-07 11:11:34

Message withdrawn

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 11:04:47

Thready - yes, that makes sense.

BandofMutantMonsters Fri 12-Oct-07 11:04:37

Either that or her office has banned MN. She was at work yesterday after all.

BandofMutantMonsters Fri 12-Oct-07 11:04:11

Well to be fair, I do need to get a lifegrin

TheMoistWorldOfSpetimusQuench Fri 12-Oct-07 11:03:48

I think lisalisa is hiding in a cupboard, weeping, dribbling, and slowly chewing her own legs off in despair... poor lamb

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 11:03:44

eleusis - I didn't see her comments but others said they were dull. I assumed they must have been offensive to get banned. Equally, she could (if she was weird) have done what LL did and typed "message deleted" herself. Just covering all the bases here grin

Charlene1 Fri 12-Oct-07 11:02:41

I want to know what she said too!! (How sad am I?) grin I was up late but too tired to sit it out, so I missed the end posts!!!

ThreadyKrueger Fri 12-Oct-07 11:01:44

It wasn't extremely offensive. She said things to the effect that people who posted were pathetic, needed to get a life. It was just that it was gratuitously offensive. It wasn't said in the course of an argument. She just came on in order to abuse. So it was boring and irrelevant as well as offensive. I guess mumsnet would be more likely to tolerate abuse that was an instrinsic part of a controversial discussion. This abuse was just spoiling a lovely funny thread.

gizmo Fri 12-Oct-07 11:00:53

Giant Buggy, LL?

something like this?

Great thread, btw, Lisalisa.

harman Fri 12-Oct-07 10:58:35

Message withdrawn

majorstress Fri 12-Oct-07 10:58:33

lisalisa! Not only what was the school drop off like, but what was said around the dinner table last night?

And did you say you'd got a new job to finish at 3 pm so you can APPEAR AT SCHOOL IN PERSON?

ohhh noooo

Can you change it back?????

OrmIrian Fri 12-Oct-07 10:57:15

LISA!!!! What happened to your knickers?

We all want to know.

eleusis Fri 12-Oct-07 10:56:23

Ladylush, she was pretty agressive in her remarks. Not just boring.

Tinkerbel5 Fri 12-Oct-07 10:53:50

goodness this must be one of the funniest threads I have read on here, I was nearly crying with laughter and the handing around of the knickers, come back lisalisa and tell us how your day has been today

RosaTransylvania Fri 12-Oct-07 10:53:17

Gladriel - are you serious! You have a friend who ties up her hair with her dirty knickers!!!
Couldn't you get her some hairbands for Christmas? - Primark have them v cheap.

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 10:52:58

Fetching pic, but aren't trolls usually inflammatory - make contentious comments etc. Surely not just boring?

BandofMutantMonsters Fri 12-Oct-07 10:51:24

why giant buggy and why will people laugh???

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:50:12


me too, I'm off to the shops with my giant new buggy to be pointed at and laughed at!

BandofMutantMonsters Fri 12-Oct-07 10:49:20

<<<wanders what katwilko posted>>>

Now that IS sad. To read this thread, very funny btw, and then sit wondering, not what happened, but what some troll was posting. I think I need to go and do something constructive.
<<<waves at LL>>>>

eleusis Fri 12-Oct-07 10:49:20
littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:49:19


BandofMutantMonsters Fri 12-Oct-07 10:48:16

Oh poop.
I always miss it when things kick off. Mind you I am usually boring and asleep at that time of nighthmm having absolutely no stamina at the moment.

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:47:48

You're just showing off now!

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:45:10

you can combine too!

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:43:59

Oh well perhaps I will get deleted for being stupid too grin

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:42:57

Note to self - Always use preview when trying out fancy new MN techy gadgets for first time! blush

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:41:33

you are rubbish at this

you need to do each word wink

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:40:42

--Slagging off-- Discussing deleted posters is almost as funny as the OT!

Must learn not to snort when reading MN! I am getting funny looks grin

eleusis Fri 12-Oct-07 10:39:49

Oh, littlelapin, what did you say? You naughty girl.

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:39:10

Perhaps she realised she was an idiot and asked for them to be deleted?

Oh and LOL at "codism" isn't her head big enough already? grin

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 10:37:58

Could it be a previous mner who was banned, who came back under a pseudonym to grind an axe but only succeeded in causing death by boredom? Just a thought smile

OrmIrian Fri 12-Oct-07 10:36:44

Message delet.......<<<<<<snore>>>>>>

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:35:48

Message deleted for being dull

SatanGeorge Fri 12-Oct-07 10:35:42

Trying to recall anything katwilko said that was offensive enough to need deleting.

And do we know that a banning has even happened, or just the deletions?

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 10:35:15

That typing the same thing syndrome does my head in - seen it a few times on drinking in pregnancy and smoking threads. It's as if they think typing the same thing over and over again will suddenly result in the reader having a light bulb moment hmmAnyway, wonder how Lisalisa is today - poor love.

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:35:12

Huh what, MoH?! Bit of a Codism therewink

MascaraOHara Fri 12-Oct-07 10:33:44

<snort> or maybe the mail migh tog..

"You've been banned.


littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:32:53

Can you imagine the email from MNHQ - "your recent posts have been deemed to be irretrievably tedious, so you are banned - unless you can come up with a good thread about your pants in the next 5 minutes" grin

MascaraOHara Fri 12-Oct-07 10:32:47

Where is LisaLisa?? do you think the school run was so awful that she's done something daft?

OrmIrian Fri 12-Oct-07 10:31:58

Dull! Too right she was dull. She kept typing the same thing. Wondered if it was some kind of protest ... grin

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 10:31:27

No not you LL shock I was referring to she of the banned status wink Drunken bore? I've met a few wink

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:30:42

Darn! Thought I might be lucky enough to have a post deleted too if I kept going on!

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 10:30:08

Oh yes - dull = instant banning grin Quite right too grin

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:29:35

Me, ladylush? Definitely, there's no-one here to make me a cup of tea! grin

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:29:01

I mean, banned for some other reason, hence all her posts removed. I'm guessing here!

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 10:28:48

Drink problem?

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:28:12

LOL, I didn't, I just typed "Message deleted by Mumsnet" grin

basically she said she had spent ages reading the whole thread, and that we were all boring, yadda yadda. Normal tedious trolly stuff. It wasn't really offensive, just dull, which makes me think she's been banned.

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 10:28:01

Erm, I think LL just typed "message deleted by mumsnet"

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:27:49

She was being rude and offensive on what is probably one of the funniest threads I have ever read on MN!

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:26:44

What did you say LL? Naughty!

ladylush Fri 12-Oct-07 10:26:31

What did she say? Can anyone sum it up in a way that isn't offensive enough to get their message deleted? smile

callmeovercautious Fri 12-Oct-07 10:25:47

OH! I was looking forward to more Katwilko baiting grin

Well done MN though, us posh birds don't need her sort around here wink

Come on Lisalisa - how did it go this morning??????

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:24:10

Message deleted by Mumsnet

OrmIrian Fri 12-Oct-07 10:21:46

What happened Lisa? Came to this a bit late but I want to know...

And just why does katwilko keep typing 'Message deleted by Mumsnet' wink

quint Fri 12-Oct-07 10:15:53

You must tell us what happended today Lisalisa - purlease!

CatIsSleepy Fri 12-Oct-07 10:14:23

woah, what happened on this thread? what was Katwilko's problem?

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 10:08:34

Wow, was that fastest banning ever?!

gladriel Fri 12-Oct-07 10:03:07

Just been ready more of this thread, Hilarious!!! i only joined yesterday afternoon and havent done any work since!! pmsl @ katwilko! i see mumsnet have deleted he/his last message, im sure he/she will be back under a different sudo...i'll be looking out for that one grin

How was it at school this morning lisalisa??

spooklesandwhine Fri 12-Oct-07 09:47:40

How's it going today Lisa?

<<<still sniggering in the corner>>>

gladriel Fri 12-Oct-07 09:28:02

PMSL reminds me of a story of my best friend, who is extremely scatty at times and had a habbit of taking off her dirty knickers and tying up her hair(i know, its minging, she is scanty aswell as scatty). she would then realise she still had dirty knicks in her hair when out and about and quickly take them off and shove them in whatever bag she was carrying. to cut a long story short, she was returning a pair of shoes she didnt want to a shop and when the male assistant opened the shoe box to check the shoes, he reached in a pulled something out, low and behold it was a pair of her knickers! i dont know who was more embarrassed! needless to say she has never lived it down!

How old is your ds?

MascaraOHara Fri 12-Oct-07 09:15:14

PMSL - just caught up again.. and am mortified at seaid outcome.. I wonder if teh dinnerladies made all the children wash their hands before continuing with their lunch <grim>

sorry but this is really just so funny.

Lazarou Fri 12-Oct-07 09:13:46

They can't be Lisas, they are far too clean!

elescarybells Fri 12-Oct-07 09:08:12


I found your knickers

Ive handed them in to your local constabulary as you can see here wink

Desiderata Fri 12-Oct-07 08:49:22

Ah yes, doodle. I remember them well grin It always struck me as a very odd place to put a line of poppers ...

littlelapin Fri 12-Oct-07 08:42:52

Oh my GOD Doodle grin

Your stray pubes made me laugh out loud (now there's a sentence I never envisaged typing!)

Doodledootoo Fri 12-Oct-07 08:41:30

Message withdrawn

SofiaAmes Fri 12-Oct-07 08:38:39

This is so absolutely hilarious. And just the thing my ds would have done too. Can't wait to hear how today goes.

Libra Fri 12-Oct-07 08:35:19

Hilarious thread!
Lisalisa, if I may share, something similar happened to me years ago.
We were moving up to Scotland and I flew up on my own with DS1, who was just a baby at the time. We were stuck in the plane at Birmingham airport for an entire hour before take-off and he howled and howled and howled. Very embarrassing.
On take-off, the nice air hostess came along and gave me three miniatures of gin, because she felt I needed them. With a car to drive at the other end, I stuck them in the only bag I had with me - my baby bag..

Two days later, I took DS1 to his new nursery for his settling in hour. I was told to go away for an hour and just to leave his changing bag in case he needed a nappy change.

Yes, you've guessed it. I hadn't cleaned out the bag.

When I returned after an hour, I was taken into the manager's office to 'discuss any problems I might have'. I was mortified. I don't think she believed me about the air hostess.
I used that nursery for five years and I think someone checked my breath every morning..,

So you see, other people have suffered too.

worriermum Fri 12-Oct-07 08:32:22

lisalisa if it's any consolation ... my sister gave me a pair of gorgeous lacy thongy things when ds was 14 months. I decided to wear them to toddler group to bloody well cheer myself up, but then decided "nah - what a waste" and took my jeans off again to replace with my usual saggy grannies. I was pushing ds on the swing in the garden at toddler group when I saw my new thongs IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAWN, carefully being given a wide berth by the other mums! Oh the agony ... to out myself or to abandon my flash new knickers. I swung and swung as I blushed and burned ... tried for a few casual saunters past the damn things but there was always someone looking. In the end I decided fuck it, I don't have any other nice knicers, swooped, stuffed the things into my nappy back and FLED. Never, ever to return.blush blush blush

eleusis Fri 12-Oct-07 08:14:28

Soooo... who is doing the school run this morning? I have to know. smile

Egypt Fri 12-Oct-07 04:46:23

kat you do realise this is a discussion forum, with a huge amount of help, topics, discussions, going for years for parents by parents, and not just this once teensy thread amongst thousands don't you? you might want to peruse the boards yourself to enlighten yourself as to the world of mumsnet this you're 'dissin' hun.

or maybe you can't be arsed and you're not a parent or about to become one so therefore not interested......in which case mind the road.

roisin Fri 12-Oct-07 02:47:28

I had a tough day at work today, and this thread really lightened my day when I logged on this evening. It was good to have a good laugh

Lisalisa I am really pleased sorry this hilarious dreadful event happened to you to brighten our sad little lives

But I'm particularly glad it happened to you not me!

Katwilko Fri 12-Oct-07 01:58:38


Phoebesmum21 Fri 12-Oct-07 01:48:46

lol at katwilkos 'toff' comment! im a 21 yr old unmarried mother living in a rented house, the wonder of MN is the lack of judgement and it truly is pathetic that u have so little in ur life that negatively commenting on other ppl brings u joy... actually ive just done it to u and damn it feels good!

yawn bed now, that so wasnt worth even typing but

LMAO @ the story!

Katwilko Fri 12-Oct-07 01:44:49

So what do you lot think about Legoland?

colditz Fri 12-Oct-07 01:38:32

Of course we're talking about you, we're sad, remember?

The only thing you should be surprised at is how sad you are now!

mindalina Fri 12-Oct-07 01:22:05

You do understand that this is a discussion forum, right? So people talk on it?

Katwilko Fri 12-Oct-07 01:10:16

still here!! And you're STILL talking about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

elescarybells Fri 12-Oct-07 00:42:52

i want to be kats friend

do you do bounty hunni? xxxx

susiecutie Fri 12-Oct-07 00:38:13

Lisalisa, i admit, i've been laughing at this thread... really laughing. but, my god you poor thing. i really feel your embarrassment! here have a hug... ((((((((((()))))))))))))))

it'll all be forgotten by your children before you know it... and regurgitated sometime in the future over sunday lunch, or at a speech at some important future event like your sons wedding speeches.... wink

As for Katwilko: WTF???? you have actually read the entirety of this thread yourself, despite apparently having no interest in it... yet you have the absurd notion that the rest of us on MN are sad ?????? hmm

your attempt to turn a light hearted thread into something unpleasant has seriously failed, and done nothing but highlight you as a bit of a f*wit.... jeesh... perhaps you should get a life...

colditz Fri 12-Oct-07 00:35:18

<<<shrieks with derision>>

Katwilko has been here doing something she finds boring and irritaiting for OVER AN HOUR, and we are the sad ones?

That's like someone going to trainspotting meetings to take the piss out of trainspotters, and turning up EVERY WEEK.

Admit it Kat, you're as hooked as uswink

PS I love feeding trolls. What colour knickers you wearing?

Desiderata Fri 12-Oct-07 00:33:57

Now, Kat, in all seriousness <and clutching at straws>

You wouldn't be pissed off because we whooped your arse at rugby last Saturday .. again?

May I offer you a glass of Thrasher, brewed in the UK in 2003 and still good for 2007?

Made from 100% sour grapes, so go easy, girl grin

fortyplus Fri 12-Oct-07 00:32:33

Katwilko - have just been playing scrabulous with Aussie friend! I am sad git of 46 - she's 54.

I am a toff, though! wink

hunkermunker Fri 12-Oct-07 00:31:03

Katwilko, omg, you're like, hilarious, yeah, really, the most funny thing I've, like, ever seen! OMG! Can I have, like, a signed photograph? Do you have, like, team colours or something? I'd like to knit a scarf with your name on and have your face tattooed someplace special on me. OMG, you're just, like, incredible! Can you stick around and, like, be my special friend? OMG OMG OMG! I think I love you! And, like, you're really clever and not at all dim and I bet you have loads of friends already, but I'm really hoping you'll be mine cos you just sound SO amazing! Oh, I am just, like, too overwhelmed...

<wets self>

VooJu Fri 12-Oct-07 00:30:41

LOL Desi

Desiderata Fri 12-Oct-07 00:29:23

Well, we may be boring cunts women, but it's addictive, ain't it?

Katwilko Fri 12-Oct-07 00:27:49

On facebook (don't suppose you toffs have heard of that) but just flicking back to see what you saddos are talking about now! You've got a sad little group going here havent you?

kidsrus Fri 12-Oct-07 00:20:47

pmsl did your ds also mention you were on speaker phone at the time!
i think i would have kept quiet and dealt with after mast.lol
hold your head up tomo and deny all knowledge its amazing the stories kids make upgrin

Desiderata Fri 12-Oct-07 00:17:38




What happened to Kat?

Ponka Fri 12-Oct-07 00:17:19

Lisalisa, I've had a horrid day at work but this has really made me laugh.

You were asking what next? I think if it were me tomorrow morning, I'd go in and let one of the adults involved know that I was mortified by the whole thing. Laugh along with everyone about it.

Everyone know mistakes happen and the best way to deal with embarrassing moments is to laugh with the people involved. It puts them at ease and will also make them 100% sure that it was an accident and that you are not a weirdo in any way. grin

SaintJude Fri 12-Oct-07 00:14:01

lolololol my sanity is far from fragile, but bless you for thinking of me grin

Desiderata Fri 12-Oct-07 00:09:02

Hey Jude,
Don't be afraid
Take a sad song
And make it bet-er-er-er

<I know perfectly well who you are, VV. Just can't help thinking for your own fragile sanity that you ought to be ignored every now and again> grin

Sazisi Fri 12-Oct-07 00:07:07

This is hilarious

I'm mortified for you though blush

madamez Fri 12-Oct-07 00:06:52

Katwilko - are you just jeaous because you're one of those journos who gets paid for writing a tedious domesticity column and MN is better than yours?

Oh, Lisalisa, you poor girl. But at least it wasn't a still-warm buttplug or a wrap of coke...

SaintJude Fri 12-Oct-07 00:04:06

LOL Desi

<qv stamps foot at desi ignoring her>

Desiderata Fri 12-Oct-07 00:03:15

UCM, is that you?

Charlene1 Thu 11-Oct-07 23:59:29

Lisa - great sympathies!!!

notjustmom Thu 11-Oct-07 23:56:18

Message withdrawn

FrightOwl Thu 11-Oct-07 23:55:23

well im off to bed (really this time), hope your day goes well tomorrow lisalisa! smile

callmeovercautious Thu 11-Oct-07 23:55:19

I just love that you are still here! ROFL!

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:54:58

Before one of you toffs pull me up on it I meant....REEL THEM IN

SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 23:54:45
Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:54:21

Real them in.......!!!!!

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:53:45

Oh is there a classics for Mums Net.... whoopie...you must all be so proud of yourselves!

VooJu Thu 11-Oct-07 23:53:20

No sorry dear , can't be bothered. Shut the door on your way out please

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:52:32

Good to know I've got you guessing though!

FrightOwl Thu 11-Oct-07 23:52:20


we want this thread in classics dont we? grin

SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 23:52:05

LL - I feel like posting a link to the bbc sex ed video again wink

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:51:53


SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 23:51:08

Anyone on here know a Katie Wilkinson?

littlelapin Thu 11-Oct-07 23:50:47

Ahhh, Katwilko is a BOUNTY girl, methinks.

Desi, get a shift on, I really DO need to go to bed!

FrightOwl Thu 11-Oct-07 23:49:16

oh no, lunch bag...i forgot to do it.

(tootles off to bed)

IamDaisy Thu 11-Oct-07 23:48:58

Lisalisa....I saw your post after you had spoken to your DS and thought it was a done deal; I've now just picked it up again in active convos...you poor poor thing!

I suggest a run of early meetings so the nanny has to do the school drop off and get DH to do the pick up. It'll all have blown over within a month week or so grin

Katwilko....who ever sent you the link to this conversation obviously over-estimated your sense of humour. Go back under the bridge from whence you surfaced, please.

callmeovercautious Thu 11-Oct-07 23:48:56

Just read back a bit - I agree with the rabbit! Trend setting is the way to go!

{relaxed in the knowledge that DD is also too young for school grin}

Charlene1 Thu 11-Oct-07 23:48:14

My ds will be having one of them new muller yoghurt thingys for lunch....

- I will think of this thread when I see his lunch bag in the morning!!

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:48:10

Oh and by the way Desiderata I've never been on this shit site before so honestly luv, haven't ever been ignored! As can be seen from the responses I've had tonight!

Sleep tight all

Love K xx

SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 23:46:55

Desi!!!!! smile How are you?

I must say, I'm rather tired myself....<yawn>
I am PMSL at the thought of someone registering to tell people they dont know or care for that they have a great life. It's utterly ironic, isnt it?

Desiderata Thu 11-Oct-07 23:46:35

Don't go before I email you, LL.

Charlene1 Thu 11-Oct-07 23:45:56

"cross posted with everyone else" - meant to come across as MN is fun / good for everyone in some way!!

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:45:14

Keep them coming....!!!!

Still can't believe you all chat about what you're giving your DS??? for lunch tomorrow!

littlelapin Thu 11-Oct-07 23:44:57

Desi! How are you, scrumptious!

Whoops, I really AM going to bed now! grin

Charlene1 Thu 11-Oct-07 23:44:25

See Katwilko - MN does you good then doesn't it!!! smile

Desiderata Thu 11-Oct-07 23:43:13

Katwilko is a person who has previously been ignored on threads.

She is the MN equivalent of the US high school massacre.

I shall ignore you, Kat. I always ignore anything to do with cats anyway, being more of a dog person.

I would just like to say, for the record ... do whatever you like, but don't bore me.

Jekyllywoo Thu 11-Oct-07 23:42:49

Katwilko - Halloween name change threads are fairly good too, you really have to have no life to spend time thinking of a new screen name just for the halloween period - here, I've thought of one for you - Twatwilko.

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:42:26

The time it took to register was more than worth the effort, for satisfaction I get to realise that my life is so much better than MUMSNET!! I really wish you lot all the best for your internet days!! Oh and by the way my sense of humour has been enhanced by the rubbish I've read tonight. Thanks all for making my night one to realise that my life isn't all that bad!!

Charlene1 Thu 11-Oct-07 23:41:21

ladylush - grin

VooJu Thu 11-Oct-07 23:41:04

What a fabby thread. Have PMSL

<narrows eyes at Katwilko with arms crossed>

littlelapin Thu 11-Oct-07 23:40:14

Knock yourself out, Katwilko, if the way you get your kicks is taking the piss out of other people, fine. The rest of us will carry on having fun with each other.

OK I'm not feeding the troll anymore. Night ladies, it's been a giggle. Lisalisa - I salute you! grin

Charlene1 Thu 11-Oct-07 23:39:44

my post should have said "what are you all", sorry - rofl!!

SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 23:39:08

So, you've registered and everything just to post that? hmm

And I ask again WE are sad?????

<ponders 24 hour registration process that mnhq apparently has>

callmeovercautious Thu 11-Oct-07 23:39:03

It's what is known as having a laugh fgs!

If you have enough time to read it you are as bad as us grin

Not all the threads are as light hearted, you may find MN of some use, however having read your posts you may want to namechange first!

ladylush Thu 11-Oct-07 23:37:37

well at least it wasn't a fruit shoot grin

Charlene1 Thu 11-Oct-07 23:37:15

So, what are you giving your ds for lunch tomorrow then??? grin

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:36:29

My God you lot are like magnets! Are you still on here? Mumsnet..???! I was sent a link to this pathetic thread as I've never experienced such crap! OK I agree the first story was slightly humourous, but to have conversations about it going all day is nothing other that sad! Glad I've come across this joke of a site - I'll keep checking in to see how the "nothing better to do people" live and wind them up!!! grin

elescarybells Thu 11-Oct-07 23:36:07


don't get your knickers in a twist love wink

MrsSpoon Thu 11-Oct-07 23:33:44

Just picked up the highlights horrendous moments of this thread and have to say that I am currently rolling about laughing sending you my kindest regards over this hillarious awful situation.

littlelapin Thu 11-Oct-07 23:28:50

Everyone, can we have a whip-round for Katwilko, she needs a serious operation... to reverse her sense of humour bypass wink

Newbie or namechanger, KW?

EllHell Thu 11-Oct-07 23:27:03

I've heard Siberia is nice at this time of year, lisalisa. grin

And you thought a suspected heart attack was the worst thing that was going to happen to you this week??? (Hope you're OK btw.)

This has made me laugh so much...

SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 23:26:01

So, you've sat and read through a whole 200+ post thread on knickers that you havent participated on and we need to get a life????

How weird are you???

Katwilko Thu 11-Oct-07 23:23:41

I've sat here tonight reading all these messages and can't believe all you women have nothing better to do than advise on what to do about a pair of old scabby knickers! Honestly, it's mums like you lot that give us all the bad name about not worrying about anything other than "Has Thomas got his right flavoured yogurt with him today!" Please let's get a life!!!! angry

blazingsandals Thu 11-Oct-07 22:36:24

Have you considered cutting their sandwiches into bra shapes tomorrow? grin

SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 22:27:58

ROFL Blazing

I do like the idea of "Claire Verity is Pants" campaign grin

blazingsandals Thu 11-Oct-07 22:11:50

Ah don't worry LisaLisa - your DCs will get over it. Simply tuck DDs skirt into her pants and trail loo roll out the back of DS's trousers tomorrow. grin

RosaTransylvania Thu 11-Oct-07 22:08:11

I would have to leave the country. Can't you at least home educate them for the rest of their lives or make sure the nanny does the school run from here to eternity?
And can we move this into Classic threads please so we can all revisit it at leisure whenever we want to reassure ourselves that we haven't done the most embarrassing thing anyone could think of?
And LL - thank you for brightening my day.

moodlumtheWOOOHOOHOOhoodlum Thu 11-Oct-07 22:08:02

LOL? I nearly soiled my skivvies.

Save this under mumsnet classics, and hope that this doesn't become one of those stories that people tell at parties and everyone knows the story already because it is so funny and now infamous.


PMSL @ this. DP just read and said to me, 'plllleeeasse dont ever put your knickers in ds's bag.'

ROFL so funny. Lisa, you children will never ever let you live this down! grin x

Blondilocks Thu 11-Oct-07 22:00:41

OH blush how embarrassing!

BettyBatShapedSpaghetti Thu 11-Oct-07 21:59:02

roflmao at this thread grin

I'd be on a plane by now wink

DabblesInDarknessWithALightOn Thu 11-Oct-07 21:57:34

pmsl @ this...

FrightOwl Thu 11-Oct-07 21:51:27

"a pair of lightly soiled skivvies"


bozza Thu 11-Oct-07 21:46:20

I really wouldn't be taking advice from hunker - she has strayed from her realms of expertise (breastfeeding, BLW etc) and is obviously a novice on dirty knickers in lunch bags. I think keeping quiet might well have worked better. wink

Desiderata Thu 11-Oct-07 21:45:50

Oh! Do they have to be only lightly soiled? blush

<school dinners for my lad, then>

coppertop Thu 11-Oct-07 21:45:49

Yes, it was the humble beginning of the "Verity Is Pants!" campaign.

littlelapin Thu 11-Oct-07 21:41:56

I think MN needs to save you, lisalisa.

Right, everyone put a pair of lightly soiled skivvies in their child's lunchbox tomorrow. Someone start a thread about, er, how it's a protest against Claire Verity. Someone will write about it on the Times Online, and before you know it, every child in the country will be finding large pants in with their ham and cheese sarnies. Your DS will be spared embarrassment and lisalisa will be hailed as a trendsetter.

<sits back, secure in the knowledge that her son is too young for school>

quint Thu 11-Oct-07 21:39:22

You poor thing, I suppose the fact that you've cheered up a nation of mums osn't much of a consolation!

Good luck tomorrow

Budababe Thu 11-Oct-07 21:36:16

Australia? Far enough for you?

You will all laugh about it one day - perhaps not as much as we have been doing but you will at least smile.

coppertop Thu 11-Oct-07 21:36:15

When's the next parents evening?

lemonaid Thu 11-Oct-07 21:17:38

I think you're going to have to move. Shame the housing market is a bit static at the moment...

MorticiasMother Thu 11-Oct-07 21:11:27


The only decent thing to do is to say that your dh is having an affair and that the brazen hussy hid her pants in your ds's PE bag. He confessed all and you tried to retrieve them to spare your ds embarrassment.


They are your husband's. He's a cross-dresser and you've tried to keep it a secret for years.

Either way I think you need to defer blame here.

Are you sure this isn't a joke, this just seems far too comical to be true!

hunkermunker Thu 11-Oct-07 21:02:31

I am really very sorry.

I feel very, very responsible.

My shoulders are shaking from remorse, not mirth, let me assure you.

Honestly, LL, I am very sorry.

SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 20:10:46

Can I suggest something?

It's the lesser of two evils.....

Tell anyone who cares to listen about your very shoddy nanny who 'accidentally' hmm stuck a pair of her skiddies in your DS's bag.

They couldnt possibly be yours, because, well, you dont wear any. Oh, and you use a mooncup wink

2HappyFrighteningPeople Thu 11-Oct-07 20:10:08

Oh I'm so sorry, I can't add anything practical, but really feel for you (mostly in my stomach muscles which hurt from laughing so much...!)

slowreader Thu 11-Oct-07 20:04:30

I suppose the alternative to LVoC v sensible leave the country suggestion is to pack a pair every day until it becomes routine.

DoctorFrankenSquonk Thu 11-Oct-07 19:46:22

oh lisalisa!!!

oh dear!

I think you'll see from my post of 11.22 that I said all along that Hunker's idea was a bad one


I like the telling everyone you were chucking them out idea, and telling everyone they were the nanny's idea.

oh deary deary dear

Jacanne Thu 11-Oct-07 19:17:43

This has been sooo funny - but I am blushing for you while laughing grin

Califright Thu 11-Oct-07 18:58:44

this thread has made me cringe and crease up at the same time.

Blu Thu 11-Oct-07 18:54:06

And i thought 'what is in your child's packed lunch' threads had died down!!!

FrightOwl Thu 11-Oct-07 18:50:20

i'll never be able to tell my kids again with a straight face that "there's a treat in their lunchbag today". <snigger>

Blu Thu 11-Oct-07 18:46:34

And...if you want to know you're not alone in the 'exposed and embarrassed' position:
yesterday was my birthday. As I was off to join the gym I didn't bother to have a shower, and was having a quick top and tail wash

Our bathroom is directly ahead 0f the front door at the top of the stairs. In the pre-school run hurry I suddenly heard a male voice in the hall booming 'cake delivery for the birthday girl'...and there in the hall, with DS holding the door open was a delivery man from Konditorei and Cook with a clear view of me stark naked with one leg up in the basin scrubbing my feet!

PMSL this has cheered me up no end lol
sorry for you embarrassment lisalisa

Blu Thu 11-Oct-07 18:41:32

Oh, LisaLisa - you do realise that this is going to end up in Morningpaper's round-up, and saved as a classic thread, don't you?

I am desparately trying to think what I would do to retrieve the situation....and I can't think of an answer.

You will have to brazen it out with the school, and perhaps apologise to DS and DD - tell them what happened and that you had been trying to save him from embarrassment by making the phonecall and it all went wrong.

Then wait outside the school with an Uzi and take out any child who comes out sniggering.

Tha adults will all take it in thoer stride after a good laugh!

FrightOwl Thu 11-Oct-07 18:41:00

pmsl! sorry!

i was having problems with my tumble dryer once, the drum had stopped turning. i finally got the man in to fix it, expecting it to cost a fortune...or much tutting, sucking of teeth, chin rubbing, shaking of head and "it'll cost ya".

i was already prepared for those immortal words "fer what itll cost to fix this you'd be better off buying a new one".

so im standing around, trying to watch what he does so i dont get conned and he finally comes up from behind the dryer looking puzzled and strangely nervous.

"well in all my years fixing these things love" he says "ive never come across this problem before".

my heart sunk. "can you fix it?" says i.

"oh yes, its fine now...these were wrapped around the fan, you'll be wanting them" he cries with victory..pulling out my black lacy thong.

hope it makes you feel a little better.

UlySCREAMS Thu 11-Oct-07 18:32:19

I think I'd have to have reconstructive surgery and say dh/dp had left lisalisa and you were his long lost cousin/sister/aunt etc... who'd come to take over her role.

Oh this is mortifying, the sort of thing I'd do grin

woodenchair Thu 11-Oct-07 18:30:49

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time, thank you.

Not sure what you can to sort it out though, but keep your head high

spooklesandwhine Thu 11-Oct-07 18:27:11

you could say that you were baging up things to put in the bin and these were in a bag you forgot and put the in it by accident ....

...say you did it on purpose to cause a stir ...

... as for the girls hang knickers around the house and make it into a knicker party...hmmm maybe not that sounds odd hmm

saltire Thu 11-Oct-07 18:24:42

I read the beginnings of this thread this morning and have justgot back to it. lisalisa you have really cheered me up, I am laughing so much I've had to cross my legs!

you need one of these

Lazarou Thu 11-Oct-07 18:21:56

Well Hunker, I think your work here is done....

NotAnOtter Thu 11-Oct-07 18:17:31

i really cannot believe 'pooey stuff'
I would have to leave home!

flamingtoaster Thu 11-Oct-07 18:17:25

Thanks for giving us all (including my DH and DD) the best laugh we've had in ages! You could always say you're writing a story on the perils of motherhood (well, you have done, it's on here!) and you thought the scenario you were thinking of was just too far fetched so decided to try it out ... Failing that you could just take the wind out of the girls' sails on Saturday by giving them a big bag of undies to try on! (If I can think of anything actually helpful I'll post again later!).

turquoisenights Thu 11-Oct-07 18:14:20

is this a joke lisa? grin

hunkermunker Thu 11-Oct-07 18:11:32

Oh, dear.

I'm afraid I can't fuck things up royally help any more than I have already done. sad

lisalisasknickers Thu 11-Oct-07 18:08:47

Helloooooo!!! Coooeeeee!

Does anyone else want to look at me?

goingfor3 Thu 11-Oct-07 18:05:02

The schools going to check your childrens lucnh boxes everyday for used undergarments!

They will see the funny side of it!

spooklesandwhine Thu 11-Oct-07 18:05:02

is there any kind of 'witness protection scheme' for this kind of thing? hmm grin

eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 17:57:51

Hey, LadyVic, how is the patient?

oh lisalisa, i am pmsl.

what to do? personally, i would yank the kids out of school, move house, leave the area and start afresh. but thats a OTT reaction lol. grin

Squiffy Thu 11-Oct-07 17:51:47

Yes you must come to the Xmas meet-up so we can take the piss bigtime sympathise with you and help you get over it.

princessmelBABY Thu 11-Oct-07 17:51:16

He he he he !!!! grin

We're they still there after school?

spooklesandwhine Thu 11-Oct-07 17:48:32

drink lots then you will find it funny....

...well until the morning anyway! grin

eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 17:45:58

OMG, this gets better worse as the day goes by. I think you should pul your kids out of that school and send them to another one effective immediately.

Either that or employ au pair/nanny for morning shift and come to the Christmas meet-up and drink lots of mojitos with us and we can all have a good laugh. grin

hifi Thu 11-Oct-07 17:45:08

i think you have to sit down tonight and explain you didnt deliberately put those kegs in your sons bag, he obviously thinks there was a reason for it, it could scar him for life.

chloesmumtoo Thu 11-Oct-07 17:43:29

oh no poor you lisalisa. We all had a good giggle and was waiting for him to tell you something funny from the days adventure! BUT THAT is so embarrassing. Teacher and all the kids seeing them, it cant get any worse!!!!!

CatIsSleepy Thu 11-Oct-07 17:41:44

well lock up your undies for starters

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 17:41:08

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CatIsSleepy Thu 11-Oct-07 17:40:36

oh lisalisa LOLOLOL

so funny you poor poor thing grin

I'm sure I'll do something like this one day...

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 17:39:33

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lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 17:38:32

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iheartdusty Thu 11-Oct-07 17:38:25

I think you may have to wear a veil over your face when picking up for the rest of DS's school career.

Thanks for a fantastic story!

spooklesandwhine Thu 11-Oct-07 17:36:55

i will try to think of something more helpful, promise wink

goingfor3 Thu 11-Oct-07 17:36:52

Your poor childrenshockgrin

ShrinkingViolet Thu 11-Oct-07 17:35:59

start home educating!

spooklesandwhine Thu 11-Oct-07 17:35:58

......fake your own death......hmm

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 17:35:40

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flowerybeanbag Thu 11-Oct-07 17:34:04

Leave the country immediately. It's the only way.

spooklesandwhine Thu 11-Oct-07 17:28:16

ROFL & PMSL at the same time grin grin

I'm sorry Lisa buts thats sooooo funny - poor you thought of course

Have you thought about moving house? grin

TheMoistWorldOfSpetimusQuench Thu 11-Oct-07 17:21:46

Don't go to school in the morning

In fact, enrol the kids in a different school

TheMoistWorldOfSpetimusQuench Thu 11-Oct-07 17:20:18

Oooh noooo.... shock

You poor thing

GreatHauntieWurly Thu 11-Oct-07 17:20:14

lisalisa, tell him if your really luck that you might put dh pants in with his lunch tomorrowwink

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads Thu 11-Oct-07 17:19:34

Have you got a swimming pool LisaLisa?! Wow.. envy

PMSL.. this is the sort of thing I do. grin

SatanGeorge Thu 11-Oct-07 17:19:30

Plastic surgery?

Have the kids adopted?


This is sooooo the funniest thread in ages.

Tortington Thu 11-Oct-07 17:19:15

if i were you i would tell your son they were really the nanny's knickers

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 17:17:42

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sorry lisalisa, I just PMSL at this thread... poor you blush

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 17:17:01

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Hulababy Thu 11-Oct-07 17:16:43


Oh, so sorry - but it is funny!

So, when are you back at school?

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 17:14:48

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louii Thu 11-Oct-07 16:12:29

well, did you get the grubby pants?

NotAnOtter Thu 11-Oct-07 16:05:59

is he back???

MrsRecycle Thu 11-Oct-07 16:05:34

lisa - has really cheered up my day (as eleusis said it would!). I'm crying with laughter (as opposed to crying with dread earlier on today).

Definitely goes down with the "sanitary towel on a thong, skirt blows up on a fairground ride" thread that had me ROFL. That was a classic - if anyone can remember it!

kimibobbingforapples Thu 11-Oct-07 15:54:48


MorticiasMother Thu 11-Oct-07 15:54:37

I know someone who needs cheering up. Lisalisa your thread is about to do the email rounds! grin

unknownrebelbang Thu 11-Oct-07 15:48:34

It's a good job I can't access MN at work!


StaceySlayer Thu 11-Oct-07 15:36:39

lisalisa, I am PMSL and everyone in the office is staring at me!!!

I won't tell!!!

Well handled by the way, all credit to Hunker for a fab idea!!


eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 15:14:22

Lisa, at least the people in your office know why you are laughing. The rest of us have some explaining to do, but we can't tell them because we would have to confess to being in mn.

allhallows Thu 11-Oct-07 15:14:13

how big are they? what colour? Picturing large greying white pants with elastic going...LOL!

eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 15:13:05

It wasn't a black lacey thong was it? grin

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should rise above having fun at your expense... but I just can't resist.

RnB Thu 11-Oct-07 15:08:11

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DoctorFrankenSquonk Thu 11-Oct-07 15:04:02


DoctorFrankenSquonk Thu 11-Oct-07 15:03:47

lisalisa - have you thought about moving house?

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 15:02:12

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lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 15:00:30

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cleaninglady Thu 11-Oct-07 14:37:22

I'm not prompted to post that often and prefer to just read but that is the funniest thing ive read in ages grin it took 5 mins to read it as I couldnt see through crying laughing ! classic.....

stealthsquiggle Thu 11-Oct-07 14:34:15

I am just imagining one or more of school secretary/head/whoever else was in the room getting home, logging on to MN and suddenly realising what the other end of that conversation sounded like...

...on the extreme offchance that Lisa's DS hasn't told them anyway grin

SaintJude Thu 11-Oct-07 14:31:24

LOLOLOL at "knockers" and "Ok mummy but I cannot tell a lie" grin

What exactly did you say to the school to get DS to the phone???

ScaryJaamy Thu 11-Oct-07 14:21:11

Hilarious - thanks for the funniest read I've had in a long time - Lisa - so many of us have so nearly done similar things.

Hope there's not too much sniggering at the next PTA.

newgirl Thu 11-Oct-07 14:07:12

im crying laughing

please please tell us what happens later

shooshoo Thu 11-Oct-07 14:03:22

ooo.... do you have a new job? Tell us....

MamaG Thu 11-Oct-07 14:01:38

LOLOL at knockers

MascaraOHara Thu 11-Oct-07 14:01:30

I still keep coming back and chuckling but at the same time it's like torture.. cos I want to email friends to say "you have to read this" but MN is my dirty secret so I can't.

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 13:57:46

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AitchTwoOh Thu 11-Oct-07 13:57:00

VERY good call, hunker. and VERY good phone call, lisalisa's son. grin

grin the funniest thread I have ever read on MUmsnet. PMSL.. cant wait to hear what happens next grin

Bewilderbeast Thu 11-Oct-07 13:42:50

ROFPMSL oh Lisalisa you have made my day you really have grin definately thread of the month

WaynettaVonBlood Thu 11-Oct-07 13:37:47

have tears pouring down my face, and I think I just popped a blood vessel in my eye trying not to laugh (am on a conference call) - however I can't see the screen properly any more - words keep disappearing......shock

Squiffy Thu 11-Oct-07 13:34:28

Just hope it isn't 'show and tell' day

flamingtoaster Thu 11-Oct-07 13:33:16

Absolutely brilliant - you handled the situation very well!

LilBloodRedWantsGore Thu 11-Oct-07 13:29:34

DH is also highly amused

hunkermunker Thu 11-Oct-07 13:28:52


Am pleased I could actually help after all grin


quint Thu 11-Oct-07 13:27:12

This has top be a classic and should make the round up newsletter - thanks for cheering me up

I can;t wait to hear what your DS has to say when he gets home from school and you nanny needs a new sense of humour!


elescarybells Thu 11-Oct-07 13:14:57

i keep thinking they are not in the bag at all and ds will call you back from the office - with headteacher, secretary ect present and announce very loudly

'mummy, i can't find your knickers' grin

ThreadyKrueger Thu 11-Oct-07 13:10:58

What's the betting that you will get home to find the knickers on the kitchen floor after all?

LittleMissNorty Thu 11-Oct-07 13:10:52

gringrin....OMFG! Can't wait for the next instalment

flowerybeanbag Thu 11-Oct-07 13:08:38

<contemplates ringing DH at work to ask him to do a quick recce round the building to see if there are any offices with large puddles on the floor and no work being done...>


chloesmumtoo Thu 11-Oct-07 13:07:25

Oh my god lol grin. This is so funny. Sorry lisalisa, but its been a great read. I am just waiting for you to tell us what he says when he gets home. How many friends and teachers know all about it!

MascaraOHara Thu 11-Oct-07 13:06:37

I keep chuckling to myself.

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 13:05:50

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lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 13:04:57

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LilBloodRedWantsGore Thu 11-Oct-07 13:01:32

You have made my day! Please please let us know who DS told - if anyone.

BigGitDad Thu 11-Oct-07 12:58:57

Just forwarded this to my wife, saying READ IT!!!
Brilliant, cannot wait for tea time tonight!

RubyShivers Thu 11-Oct-07 12:57:24

LisaLisa - i heart you!
thank you for this - MN classic thread

HuwEdwards Thu 11-Oct-07 12:55:04

excellent thread!

FloridaKbear Thu 11-Oct-07 12:54:59

Nothing this funny happens to people in my law office. I wish you worked in mine lisalisa, we need people like you to cheer us up!!

MascaraOHara Thu 11-Oct-07 12:54:07

OMFG.. I seriously can not compose myself.. I'm sat hunched over my screen with tears streaming down my face...

this is just so funny. I'm seriously going to laugh all day! (sorry)

scattyspice Thu 11-Oct-07 12:50:27

Tears are streaming down my cheeks.

DoctorFrankenSquonk Thu 11-Oct-07 12:45:30

now, if he comes home without the knickers, are you going to assume that actually you left them at the pool after all, or are you going to assume that they are currently flying from the top of the flagpole with a note "lisalisa's ds's mum's knickers!!!!" for all to see

(of course it will probably be the former, not the latter, oh no)

nospeak Thu 11-Oct-07 12:45:11

I think this is the first time MN has made me laugh out loud! I would have just pretended they were the Nannies. blush

I had a very embrassing moment when I was younger. I was about 13 and had not long started my periods. Being the lazy mare that I was I would just kick my knickers under my bed and wait for the laundry fairy to sort them. On the day in question we had a carpet laid in my bedroom, as the man (who happened to be a dad of a schoolmate) went walking up the road with our old carpet, something fell out the back of the carpet (yes my knickers) he realised something had dropped out of the carpet, looked mortified as he realised what it was and said to me "I think these are for you". I locked myself in my room for the whole weekend and even now I come out in a cold sweat when I go past the carpet store. blush

MellowMa Thu 11-Oct-07 12:43:59

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eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 12:42:58

Do you think he is showing everyone your knickers -- you know, pay back for getting him pulled out of Frech class to talk to mummy?

mrsflowerpot Thu 11-Oct-07 12:42:50

Oh I am crying laughing - thank you for sharing, you have lightened my day immeasurably!

hope you get the knickers back safe and well this evening.

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 12:40:48

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eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 12:40:38

Are you going to tell the nanny what happened before she goes to pick him (them) up?

daisyandbabybootoo Thu 11-Oct-07 12:39:00

a happy outcome then.....

but DS willnow be getting bullied by assembled adults into telling them what that was about, if he hasn't told them already grin

what a fab thread!!

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 12:37:59

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Budababe Thu 11-Oct-07 12:37:18

ROFL!!! Your DS sounds fab.

Of course when he is grown up and in therapy he may not be so fab! grin

Thread of the day week month!

MellowMa Thu 11-Oct-07 12:36:46

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eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 12:34:24

Not to mention all the people on mumsnet in need of a good laugh.... and the law office... Oh Lisa you have brought so much joy to so many people today. smile

But, I want to know, who has to go to the school to do the pick up today?

LoveMyGirls Thu 11-Oct-07 12:33:49


cheeset Thu 11-Oct-07 12:31:53

Soooooooooooofunnygrin Cant wait to tell all the school mums later!grin

Kitsilano Thu 11-Oct-07 12:30:35

Oh my god I am sobbing with laughter at the conversation with your son!

stealthsquiggle Thu 11-Oct-07 12:30:27

You just know that when asked (inevitably) "Is everything OK?" DS has reported the entire conversation to the whole school office because he will have interpreted "I cannot tell a lie" as having to tell the whole truth....

ROFL. Sorry, Lisa!

DoctorFrankenSquonk Thu 11-Oct-07 12:28:30

and the entire LEA by 1.15 grin

Hulababy Thu 11-Oct-07 12:27:39

ROFL! Great conversation. And you do know the whole office will now follow DS to said lunch bag and they will know in the next few minutes, and the whole staff room by 1pm!

eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 12:25:10

It was George Washington (and a cherry tree).

eleusis Thu 11-Oct-07 12:23:53

Oh Lisa, I am in a terrible terrible mood and you have soooo brightened my day with a bit of laughter. Thank you.

cherrycake Thu 11-Oct-07 12:23:30

Oh well done!!!!!!!
Just hope your Ds is not now too bewildered by this incredible mum's-pants experience, and we have all learned a lot by this!
You may have a calmer afternoon now!

DoctorFrankenSquonk Thu 11-Oct-07 12:23:12


"ok mummy but I cannot tell a lie" hee hee is your son George Washington? (or was it Abe Lincoln - can't remember!)

Slubberdegullion Thu 11-Oct-07 12:22:36


this thread had made my day.

harleyweendemon Thu 11-Oct-07 12:21:40

grin hysterical

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 12:21:19

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lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 12:19:47

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Slubberdegullion Thu 11-Oct-07 12:15:23

lisa, the pants were just worn weren't they? So not super fresh so boys would want to put them on their head clean, but not hideously stained either?

imo, if they were just day old pants I'd leave them and him. And pray a little prayer.

lisalisa Thu 11-Oct-07 12:11:45

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cherrycake Thu 11-Oct-07 12:01:43

(Obviously 'great' cos its not me!!!)

cherrycake Thu 11-Oct-07 12:00:43

Well with 2 mins to lunchtime, what have you done Lisalisa?
Will they be stuck to the flask when he takes it out o the bag in the dinner hall?
Will everyone fall about laughing or run amock in horror?
Will it cause endless new games in the playground?
Or will they simply be still crumpled in the bottom of the bag when you all get home again?
This is great!!

NotAnOtter Thu 11-Oct-07 11:59:02

actually i would ignore the whole thing
if ds comes out of school holding said item and waving it around in surrender type fashion - get ready with fake horrified emotions and a big show of making him put them in a bin!

cheeset Thu 11-Oct-07 11:57:04

Ring the school and tell them the nanny is mortified(she cant ring herself) because she left HER knickers in the lunch bag![gin]

Blame it on her!smile

NotAnOtter Thu 11-Oct-07 11:50:06

imho asking the head teacher is worst case scenario

have you ever been in a staff room?

the contents of your gussett would be gossip for years!

ThreadyKrueger Thu 11-Oct-07 11:45:24

Did you by any chance put Vimto in with ds's lunch? If so he will carry the whole thing off with panache, in the manner of the 'Dad's pants in the middle of his roll' commercial.

Alternatively phone the school and tell them that nany put a Fruit Shoot in the packed lunch by mistake. If head teacher is an mner she will don protective clothing and remove the packed lunch from the building. using a long pole.

HotLove Thu 11-Oct-07 11:41:45

"your son and pals at playtime www.geocities.com/afvn2/ta_parachute.jpg"

Niecie Thu 11-Oct-07 11:36:47

Are you absolutely sure that they are in the bag before you send a despatch rider to get them? You couldn't have left them at the pool or dropped them in the car park??

I'm really sorry but this is so much more entertaining than hoovering.grin

brimfull Thu 11-Oct-07 11:31:56

pmsl-tis nearly luch time,is there a courier on the way?

indiasmum Thu 11-Oct-07 11:31:22

omg sorry lisalisa but thats so funny! poor you, poor ds! you cannot make someone else retrieve the knickers- they might have to touch a sweaty gusset euccch! but you absolutely must get them. i think i would call the school and speak to receptionist and ask her to go and take the flask out of the bag and put it back for ds, and for her to hold onto the carrier with its contents til you can pick it up later, or get her to speak to ds and tell him to only take out the flask. not very inventive but might work.

everyone at school will know about this you know that dont you? everyone! it doesnt matter if he pulls the knickers out or not. if you try and get them back you will have to say why. and it will make the teacher's day in the staff room. they might pin them up on their noticeboard. there might be some pervy teachers wanting a sniff- they might end up on ebay grin

Jekyllywoo Thu 11-Oct-07 11:24:00

Oh no, I really feel for you. Reminds me of when one of my teacher friends stepped out of her trousers and pants one night and left them on the floor in a pile - next morning, new pants, same trousers... pants stuck in trouser leg and were not noticed.. only to drop out onto the floor during year 11 French lesson!

hope your pants go un-noticed.

MrsWeasley Thu 11-Oct-07 11:22:43

I work in school at lunch time and I think you should pop into check you gave him the right lunch or even make him a new lunch in a fresh flask and do a swap, dont care what reason you give but if the pants are discovered at lunch time I am pretty sure your son would never forgive you!

remember kids can be cruel

DoctorFrankenSquonk Thu 11-Oct-07 11:22:38

oh trust hunker to come up with the best solution!

if you can speak to him you can tell him to be very careful when he takes his flask out of the bag

hunkermunker Thu 11-Oct-07 11:21:21

<ROFL at knockers>

Sorry, can't help. But do aympathise with the agonies.

Can you ring the school and speak to your DS before lunchtime? Massive lies needed to do that, I expect, but it's worth it, surely!

elescarybells Thu 11-Oct-07 11:20:46

i have visions of children with a stick waving said big knickers around like a flag

your poor boy wink grin

DaisyWhoooo Thu 11-Oct-07 11:18:49

Why can't you leave work and go and get them? What's more important, your son's future mental health or your job? wink grin Sorry, am roffling madly. You do need to think of something soon though - it's not long till lunch!