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What has happened to ks?

40 replies

Mopsy · 17/09/2002 07:39

Have been somewhat bewildered by some of the very personal and aggressive posts on recent threads, but what has happened to ks? Thought she gave JamesK a bit of a hard time but otherwise I enjoy her posts enormously. Can someone fill me in!

OP posts:

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ScummyMummy · 17/09/2002 08:18

No. I'm as confused as you are... But I'm fond of ks's posts. I hope she'll be back.

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Demented · 17/09/2002 08:18

I'm lost and I visit pretty regular! Whatever has happened I think it is a shame that people feel they have to go.

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tigermoth · 17/09/2002 13:17

I'm lost too. IMO mumsnet posts have been much more troll infested at other times, but not recently. Rhubarb didn't take offence at jbr's unseen comments either.

ks please come back - you've got lots of interesting things to say. I've never thought your posts were malicious or too personal but I simply can't imagine that's the reason you've stopped posting. Whatever the reason is, I sincerely hope it isn't too upsetting for you. Thinking of you.

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Batters · 17/09/2002 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bettys · 17/09/2002 14:20

I'd also like to send my best wishes to ks and hope that she can come back, whatever the reasons for her departure were. I enjoyed her posts and find all the withdrawn messages rather spooky.

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janh · 17/09/2002 14:21

Things are very edgy at the moment on a couple of other MBs I use. Is this a coincidence?

I was sorry to see ks disappear too and don't understand why. Hope she'll come back but as she's taken all her stuff with her it seems unlikely.

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Rhubarb · 17/09/2002 14:57

Apparently we can send a message to her via Mumsnet, since she, ionesmum and aloha have disappeared (aloha got angry as Madonna implied she was aloha, and ionesmum is leaving as she's fed up with it all) maybe we should contact Mumsnet asking them to reconsider? It would be a nice thing to do I think.

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Rhubarb · 17/09/2002 14:57

Oh maybe we should do it for Jbr too, she's not a troll.

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Demented · 17/09/2002 15:19

Sounds like a good idea Rhubarb. Please don't anyone else go! If there are trolls about (Mumsnet members or not) then this is just what they are looking for, we are playing straight into their hands!

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Rhubarb · 17/09/2002 15:34

I've just discovered that Jbr was insulted by 'Madonna' on the same day that Jbr insulted me, so I can understand why she was wound up. You would think that anyone who has posted on here for some time would know Jbr and the problems she has had and would be a bit more sensitive! So please come back Jbr!

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ScummyMummy · 17/09/2002 15:38

Is it a coincidence, janh? Hope you won't be offended but I wondered whether you were Madonna, who I didn't peg as a troll at all but as a long term member having a laugh... I thought she might be you or Croppy. Don't know why you two came to mind, as your styles are quite different... and it's probably someone else I haven't even considered. I wasn't at all offended by Madonna and thought she was funny so I'm confused at all the walk-offs and sadness on the site today.
I must say I'm bit baffled as well as upset that ks, ionesmum and aloha have decided to leave. I'll miss all of them but though I know how easy it is to be very affected by rows on Mumsnet, I can't really understand why they've left entirely...

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ScummyMummy · 17/09/2002 15:40

Oh no! Has jbr gone too? I agree, Rhubarb, I think jbr could qualify for most misunderstood mumsnetter and I hope she'll be back.

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Croppy · 17/09/2002 16:13

Certainly wasn't me Scummymummy. I don't really understand what it is that has happened.

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janh · 17/09/2002 16:33

Nope, not me either, Scummymummy, but I'll be offended at the very suggestion and storm off in a huff if you like! (JOKE)

I found Madonna funny too, and wondered if she was aloha because I've always enjoyed and agreed with her posts, so I am sorry if aloha has really gone, but admire her strength of character in doing it in order to get a bit more of a real life, as I also am very guilty of saying "in a minute, in a minute!" to the kids when I'm on the internet.

Rhubarb, Madonna apologised to Jbr - still waiting for Jbr's apology to you, even though you didn't see what she said and have said it doesn't matter, a lot of us did see it and thought it did.

Have to say, re Jbr being misunderstood, I never thought she was - but then I would say that, wouldn't I, if I am "misunderstanding" her! Her positions are so extreme sometimes she is bound to put people's backs up when they don't agree with her - I suppose her conviction is admirable, she never budges, but I think she goes too far sometimes. Anyway I bet she'll be back before long.

Big smilies, everybody!

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oxocube · 17/09/2002 18:39

Sorry to be so stupid, but what exactly is a 'troll'? I only know them as fairy tale baddies! Is this a term specific to talk boards such as this, referring to trouble makers or is there something more to it? I, too, am really saddened by the fact that so many members, whose posts I have enjoyed enormously and who have also been generous with their advice, should feel they have to leave Mumsnet.

The right to free speech is a wonderful thing, but hurting each other or being deliberately cutting or insentitive is just plain stupid IMO. The whole point of Mumsnet, and why it has been so successful, is that it offers a support network and friendship to all parents. Why balls it up now?

Please reconsider your decisions Aloha, k.s, jbr, ionesmum. You will be really missed here/

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oxocube · 17/09/2002 18:47

Sorry, also wanted to add re changing chat names, I know a few posters have said its a stupid thing to do, but I did this myself a few months ago. The issue I raised was very personal (sex related) and I felt a little embarrassed and ashamed (of d.h., not me!) and felt uncomfortable posting under my usual chat name. The responses I got were fantastic and helped a lot - after all, I couldn't talk about this issue with anyone else! However, being the dozy mare I am, I then thanked everyone for their help using my 'oxocube' name and blew my cover completely!!! All I really wanted to add was that sometimes the reasons for using a different identity are not at all malicious.

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Tinker · 17/09/2002 19:10

jbr will be back. I'm sure she's stormed off loads of times.

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jodee · 17/09/2002 19:14

Oxocube, I agree - I think a number of people have changed their nicknames in the past for personal reasons, and nothing wrong in that. It's when people change their name and hurl abuse because they're too cowardly to be as bold using their 'real' name, that cause all the hurt and lack of trust.
Talking of 'dozy mares', my dh came online to ask a personal question on my behalf that I felt was too silly and embarrassing to ask in 'person', I promptly used the computer straight afterwards on a different thread and forgot to change back from him to me!

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janh · 17/09/2002 19:57

jodee, did anyone notice??????

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Rhubarb · 17/09/2002 21:14

Star has gone now too - deleted all her entries, and she was a long-term member. I just got an email back from Mumsnet to say that I cannot pass messages on as they would be inundated, so I have posted their names on Missing Persons in the hope that they still look in here.

I feel very very annoyed and sad that so many long-term members are leaving the site because of other members who should know better, deciding to wind people up. It did get a bit personal, and after the sad threads on bereavement, Sept 11th, Thomas's Story and Jessica and Holly, I think everyone has been a bit emotional and down, so it's happened at a horrible time when we should have been more supportive and understanding of each other.

I agree that changing nicknames to write something very personal is fine, but changing it to write something controversial is cowardly and mean. It's all very well saying we should ignore the trolls, but when people are feeling down already, the wind-ups can be too much. Soon we'll have no members left

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jodee · 17/09/2002 21:27

Janh, no - well no-one let on that they did, anyway!

Very sad to see another member leave, too.

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maryz · 17/09/2002 22:40

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Rhiannon · 17/09/2002 22:53

maryz, me too. I obviously don't take enough notice of who types what!

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SueDonim · 18/09/2002 08:11

This is all very sad and I do hope those who have left will reconsider their decision.

My impression was that the MMR thread got a bit heated and it seems to have escalated from there but I soon got lost as to who'd insulted whom and am now pretty confused as to why so many people have left.

Lets hope for happy days here on Mumsnet again, soon.

PS JBR is posting on the Home Ed thread so presumably hasn't left.

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Ghosty · 18/09/2002 08:46

I am very sad that all of this is happening. I have been a part of Mumsnet for a few months now but only recently started posting as I was feeling a little lonely (being so far away from my family and friends). The things that people have said to me about my little problems and worries have been so lovely and supportive. The support going on for people like Marina and Bobbins (and others) for the hard times they have had has been terrific. I felt that I had joined a fantastic group and was beginning to get to know people, but then all of a sudden everyone started getting cross and upset. There is no need for people to be rude to eachother about their opinions. Everyone is entitled to their opinions surely? In the same vein , surely people need not get offended so easily and think that they are being attacked personally? I missed whatever happened on the JamesK thread - whatever it was was enough to upset ks to the point of leaving. I am waffling now - what I want to say is why can't mumsnet go back to what it is intended to be?