Church

[crystaltips]

How many of you are avid church-goers?
How many of you want to go to church but never seem to have enough hours in the day?
I feel a great draw to our church - but with a young family it's a toss-up between making an appearance and a couple of extra hours in bed

Whenever I DO go I always get a kind welcome - and a few "welcome back" comments.

Is it enough to think kind, spiritual and "christian" thoughts ?

[manna]

I am a church goer & practising Christian, but in need of an early night after a few solitary glasses whilst dh is away at Greenbelt - Christian music / arts festival. If this thread is still up tomorrow I'll willingly elaborate then! night, night.........

[Jasper]

ah, Greenbelt! Manna, I did not know that was still on the go. I went in 1978!
I am a somewhat lapsed christian. It all kind of fell apart when I got divorced and I have stayed away from organised christianity for a long time but would actually quite like to go back to church, but I prefer to lie in bed on a Sunday morning

[manna]

let me know where you live and what's your poison, so to speak! i.e. what style chruch you like). I'll dip into my extensive christian network and see if i can recommend anywhere

[Jasper]

manna I have just realised the significance of your mumsnet nickname. Duh!
I was brought up in the brethren in the west of Scotland. Lots of the old style gospel halls have jazzed up a bit and dragged themselves in to the 20th century( just as the rest of the world was joining the 21st...)and are calling themselves such and such Evangelical church.
I don't especially want to go to one of them - it is such small world, and they will know my dad who was /occasionally is a lay preacher in that scene.Rightly or wrongly I feel I am a bit of an embarrassment to my family for getting divorced.Until fairly recently it still carried a huge stigma in those circles.
The local church of Scotland ( I am just outside Kilmarnock)has a new mimister who is considered very "modern" by some of the traditionalists, which you can take to mean he is a born again Christian who believes the bible! I will probably show face there at some point.
I nearly attended an Alpha course last year at another local church but then I got pregnant and was too tired for any extracurricular activities

[ionesmum]

Crystaltips, this is ME! Dd doesn't usually wake up until 9.30 which is when the family service starts so we normally miss it. Our lovely priest is away at the mo but I really do intend to make an effort when he gets back. However, I don't think that you should feel guilty for not going. I want to go because I miss not going every week. And I like taking dd to the altar for a blessing during communion.

Perhaps a compromise would be to make sure that you go on the first Sunday in the month and try to make the rest. But IMO God understands, at the end of the day he gave us our families to care for and they have to be our priority.

Also could you discuss with your priest/pastor the possibility of a pram service? These take place during a lunch time (usually mid-week but could be on Saturday) and are specifically for parents with young children who can't make early mornings or weekends.

[jodee]

Crystaltips, another Christian here, but you have struck a chord. The past 4 weeks I have come back from church feeling totalling frazzled and would have been better off staying at home, I think. The main reason is that being holiday time, there are a lot of people away, including most of the junior church leaders, and as we weren't going on holiday I've had to be responsible for any under 5s that turn up, so it's been stressful!
At other times though, my ds (29 months) is quite a handful during the service and will not sit still, I can't wait to get him out of there, and he is still clingy so I have to stay with him in the creche, so I don't feel like I get anything out of going to church at the moment.
But going to church doesn't make you a better Christian than one who doesn't go regularly, and I try to have quiet times at home (difficult also!). God knows your heart, and as Ionesmum says, your family is your priority, and sometimes it may be better to let them run around the park than coop them up in a church service, and you don't need a building to be close to God, you can have a quiet time sitting on a bench while the kids play!
Sorry, it's late and I really am rambling on here

Manna/Jasper, I'd forgotten about Greenbelt - and I think I went in 1978 too!

[ionesmum]

Well put, Jodee.

I find that the garden is a good place to feel close to God, and I pray a lot whilst cuddling my dd to sleep. When I grew up we rarely attended church but Mum and my Nan were both very spiritual people, our faith was a part of home life. I try to do the same for dd - she has her own prayer book and Bible, a cross on her wall, and I often sing hymns and carols to her (although dh did think it was funny when he heard me belting out 'The First Noel' at 2 in the morning!)

[robinw]

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[Mog]

Jasper,
Although I live in England now I was brought up just outside Kilmarnock. My mother still lives in Stewarton and attends a church in Kilwinning which I know has an excellent creche. It's basically evangelical but let me know if you want details.
I try to go to church most Sundays with my 14 month old and husband. It can be a bit of a rush to get there - although our service starts at 11.00. I want my dd to see that God is important in our life so I want to get into the routine now. It can be difficult I know with a little one in church, but really other members of the congregation don't mind a little bit of noise and if they get too much I usually take mine outside or into the back room of the church.

[Jasper]

Mog, you win the small world award.I live just outside Stewarton.

[Judd]

Oooh hello happy clappers ! DH and I are Christians and this is our first year of absence from Greenbelt in a long time. DH is determind to take our dd next year though, when she will be 1.5 (yikes).
I'm trying very hard to have a quiet time during dd's lunchtime nap as I found that I was falling asleep if I prayed in bed at night...which would really upset me. Our church attendance has also been sketchy of late - we are in the music group for the 6.30pm service but only one of us can ever go so that the other can stay at home with dd. We try and go in the mornings as well and have dd in for part of the service and then in creche for the rest, so that she gets used to seeing what goes on. Sometimes I do get scared that God is going to give up on me but then I think back over this past year and the amazing way he has looked after me when my post natal depression was at its worst.
When I feel that I've not been as "spiritual" as I should be and my church attendance has been low, I try and re-double my "faith in action" efforts - just doing simple things like saying hello to strangers, smiling at shop assistants....you never know when a tiny thing may be exactly what somebody else needs to see or hear at that moment !

[musica]

My dh and I are both involved at different churches - this would be difficult with a 14 month old - but my church has fantastic creche facilities - I can just leave ds at beginning of service and he is cared for till the end. It's totally ideal!

[robinw]

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[jodee]

Robinw, I certainly wouldn't want to go to a church where the children weren't made to feel welcome, but reading back over mine and the other postings, I don't thing that's what was meant. The pastor of my church has three kids of his own, aged 5 and under, and he is very laid back, there is always a short 'children's talk', and he always asks the children to take the collection.

But I'm aware that others have gone to church to worship, praise and hear God's word and whilst they are not tut-tutting in any way, I think it's a bit disrespectful on my part to let my toddler just run around the church (which is exactly what he would do!). As I said below, I find it stressful at the moment because he won't be left in the creche without one of his parents, and if I happen to go on my own because DH is at work, I'm not really benefitting from the service at all, but I want ds to know that God is a very important part of our lives and once he gets older he will be easier (I hope!)

Judd, I liked what you said about "faith in action", you never know when just a smile or saying hello might lift someone's spirits!

[ionesmum]

In our family services even the youngest children are involved. They take around the collection plate, bring the Communion set to the altar, lead the prayers, carry the priest's books...in fact we have more servers (all under 16) than St.Paul's! In addition our priest has prepared some of the young people for Communion before their Confirmation, and all children are taken to the altar for a blessing during Communion. There's one little boy with speech developement difficulties who tears around during the services and the vicar just takes it in his stride, once the little boy yelled out, 'Thanks to God!' in the middle of his sermon and the priest was so moved, we all were! He doesn't mind if babies cry either, and asks parents with grizzly babies to stay in the church if they want to. Some people do disapprove but as far as our priest (and most of the congregation) are concerned, they are the ones with the problem. There are four services evry Sunday in our Benefice so there are other services for people to go to if they want something quieter. The family srevices have become so successful that we have new families joining all the time and older children asking to be baptised, I couldn't imagine going to a church where children weren't included in every part of the worship.

[lilibet]

I do go to church every week, at ours we have a creche at all the 10.45 services except the third Sunday in the month, which is a loud family service. Children are under no compulsion to go or stay in the creche and if they want to take toys out of the creche at any service and play with them in the pews thats fine. No one will ever frown at a child for playing in our church. One of the things that I do in my spare time is go and visit, with another mum, families who want their babies baptised. We try to reassure them that they will be made welcome and that their children are welcome too. Prams, car seats, bottles, all fine and one regular churchgoer who has a 4 week old baby very discreetly breastfeeds i n the service, and I bet that hardly anyone has ever noticed. I was once practically chased out of a church we were visiting by an elderley lady because of the behaviour of my then 3 yr old ds, which I thought wasn't bad at all, fed him chocolate to keep him quiet during prayers and the sermon and let him play with his cars otherwise. But she shouted at me outside church, told me his behaviour had spoiled the service for every one and it was obvious that he had never been in a church before!! My response was that when Jesus asked for the little children to come to Him, He didn't just want the good and quiet ones. I find the effort of going to Church worth it, I love the companionship of other Christians and would have loved a pram service.

[crystaltips]

"When Jesus asked for the little children to come to Him, He didn't just want the good and quiet ones."

I really like that - it's all about joining in isn't it - rather than behaving like "an angel"

[lilibet]

Yes, I think it's about being ourselves with God, He knows us better than anyone so no point pretending to be what you're not!

[ionesmum]

You're so right, lilibet. I'm really missing being with other Christians, since dd's arrival I've also stopped attending study groups too. I always feel better after I've been with dd, I will definitely start to make the effort.

[PamT]

I take my children to church every 2 or 3 weeks but as our service starts at 9.30 it means an early start. We are the only young family at our church and the small (normally around 15) congregation always make us welcome and often say that it doesn't matter if my children make a noise. They 'are' the sunday school and generally stay in another room doing kids things until communion time when they come for a blessing. We had a joint churches service recently where 3 churches joined together in our building, the kids did a dance at the beginning and then did loads of activities during the service. My 3 really enjoyed themselves and I loved being able to sing more freely to the lively hymns (we usually only have slow, old fashioned ones which I often don't know).

I was always taken to church as a child but it seems such a rarity to see families going to church these days as there are so many other things to do on Sundays. I once went to see Solid Rock at the Salvation Army Citadel in York with a neighbour and that has got to be one of the best 'pop' concerts I have ever been to, has anyone else seen them?

[lilibet]

probably not the right thread for this, but I love it. A mum is making pancakes for her 2ds's, who are arguing over who will get the first. The mum decides this is a good time to teach the boys Christian values. 'If it was Jesus here waiting for a pancake, he would say, let my brother be first' The elder boy looks at his Mum and tells her she is right, looks at the younger and says 'Joe, you be Jesus!' Ionesmum, I used to go to an afternoon study when I was on Mat leave, but now feel very bad because I can't fit it in, not bad in a guilty way, but bad that I am missing out on something. I suscribe to Daily Bread, which is not quite the same as you don't get the feed back but at least keeps me reading my bible for 10 mins every day, and I do get to find new good bits, rather than just re-reading favourites.

[Bozza]

I wish I had the problem about not being able to get ready in time but unfortunately DS means that I am up and ready well before 10.30 am. I take DS to a local Methodist chapel and a bit like PamT there are very few children there. DS (18 months) thinks its great but there is no way I can keep him in one place. I take him books, food and quiet toys but he is soon off exploring between the pews etc. I have to close the hymn book cupboard, park the pushchair in front of the sockets etc. He is normally fairly quiet but gets around all over - just caught him before he joined in with playing the piano once!! But afterwards everyone tells me how good he's been while I'm thinking "no, he's been a nightmare but at least he's enjoying the experience". Very welcoming though.

[angharad]

I take our 3 most weeks but will have to be more consistent when term starts next week as DD will begin her preparation for First Communion. I've been to several R.C. churches and have never had a problem/disapproval with kids. On one occasion DS1 was passed round the congregation (at his instigation). Our current church has lots of clean toys and books and a separate sound-proofed play area where you can hear and see the service but your tantruming toddler doesn't disturb anyone else. We've also got baby-changing facilities and very clean loos. Maybe the churches are so family friendly because there's usualyy a primary school attached to the parish.

[Rhubarb]

We go to Church most Sundays and have always taken dd. Our church is very small and sometimes you do get a few looks if she is feeling particularly vocal, but then you would get that anywhere wouldn't you? The majority of people come over and tell us how well-behaved she is or they will smile at her and keep her occupied during the 'boring' bits.

She loves it, it instills a sense of calm in her and us too. My dh says he is an agnostic but he still comes with us and gets a nice feeling from church, especially holy communion. To us it's a bit like the Sunday roast, it's a tradition we like to do every Sunday, otherwise it just doesn't feel like Sunday at all!

Of course I get a buzz from it too. I feel like I am visiting God rather than speaking to him on the telephone, which is how I view praying at home! Going to Church takes more of an effort and I'm sure he appreciates that.