Some work advice would be appreciated

[Tillysmummy]

I wonder if you can give me some advice.

I work as a Marketing Manager for an IT consultancy. I have been in IT Marketing, specifically an area called CRM for 8 years now and have worked in some very good companies with a lot of responsibility etc, etc.
The company that I am working at has been restricting me for ages and im so fed up with it. I don't get to use half my skillset as it's a small family run consultancy and everything is micro managed which drives me nuts. Nevertheless I do my best because since I had dd im not as career driven anyway and it suits me because of hours, being part time etc.

Anyway the boss, someone i've worked with before and known for 8 years has been very unreasonable of late and it demanding unrealistic returns which are simply impossible and I am not prepared to commit too because they are set by people with no or little marketing experience. THe long and the short of it is they are wanting unrealistic returns on their marketing investment when they don't want to spend any money and in unrealistic timeframes. I am fed up with it.
I had a very heated disucussion with the MD on Friday of last week who threatened to 'cutt marketing off' I said was he saying he'd sack me and he said that things needed to improve we needed more customers etc. I suggested that we've been generating the leads and perhaps he should look at the sales force etc, etc . Anyway later in that conversation he said that I didn't need to worry about my job etc but of course I can't help worrying about it. I have of course started putting the feelers out for other opportunities.

I wanted to get some advice from any of you with any advice. I am totally depressed about it. I need to work to help with mortgage etc. I basically need to net take home £2k a month. I have thought about changing industries because im fed up with IT and i would love a change but nothing else seems to pay so well.

I hate leaving my dd for a job i hate at the moment but need to earn the money. I would dearly love to experiment with my own business, something in hospitality or arts or whatever, I don't really know but we can't afford the short term cash shortage etc. It's also not only my job but my mum's too. I pay her because she left her full time job to go part time to look after dd two days a week for me when im at work and she couldn't survive without the cash either.

Also I have a lot of shares where I am which should be worth a fair amount if and when the Company goes public, I left a very good job to come here and I also had a lot of shares there. I feel like kicking myself although the other job was not family friendly.

I am very demotivated and fed up with constantly being criticised. It makes leaving dd and my days at work much harder.

Sorry for whining. I just feel so p**sed off today.

[PamT]

Tillysmummy, poor you. I gave up my job after DS2 was born and resigned myself to being a poor SAHM relying on DH's meagre wage. You are clearly unhappy at the moment and your working hours take far too much precious time out of your life. I think anyone who does find a well paid job that they enjoy and has the family friendly concessions to go with it is extremely lucky. Despite the governments attempts, it is not easy to be a working mother and there are many obstacles thrown in your path. I don't know what to suggest for you, it all really depends how important the money is. Could you perhaps start your own business in your spare (?!) time until it gets off the ground and then at least you will have some money coming in if you quit your job, perhaps your mum could join forces with you in that. The only other option as I see it would be to make a concerted effort to find another job, but you could end up jumping out of the frying pan into the fire and be no happier.

[Lucy123]

Don't have much advice I'm afraid, but a lot of sympathy - I have worked with several companies like this (as it goes without much pay either) and it's a nightmare. Presumably the problem stems from the fact that there are fewer and fewer companies out there willing to pay for quality IT work when they can get some college leaver to bodge it for them instead.

With an income requirement like yours you need a good amount of money behind you if you go it alone - can you look for the odd freelance thing at home in order to save up a bit? I know that's not very convenient, but it sounds like you do need a change. Hopefully someone else has some advice about the possibility of talking sense into your manager, but I'm hopeless at those things. Good luck.

[Dizzymummy]

I can't comment about work in the Marketing field but I went back to my job after having dd (I worked on a v busy trading floor and went back part time). I hated it mainly because of the pressure and the culture of the place (My immediate work colleagues were great). They had agreed originally to let me go back part-time for 6 months. I didn't really want to but felt financially it was too good to give up and didn't think I would get the same money anywhere else. Anyway the upshot was that at the end of my 6 months I had to either resign or go back full time. I took the decision to quit and have never looked back. I have now got a much less stressful job on the same money (still working part time). When I'm at home I'm not stressing out about work it has made such a difference. If I were you I'd have a look around and see what you can come up with. Its hard to advise you what to do though as everyones situation is so different. I symphatise because from experience I know how stressful working in a job that you no longer like can be.

[Tillysmummy]

Thanks for the advice ladies, i just feel so down about it and fed up with people that can't see past their noses and constantly want to point the finger. PamT, I guess the only option would be to move to a less expensive area but I love the area we are in and the house but DH cant afford to pay the mortgage on his own. With our bills it's all quite high.

Good idea about the starting something and joining forces with mum just don't know where to start. I had thought about starting an organic home cooked baby food service to sell to supermarkets and specialist delicatessen's, basically fresh stuff because I love cooking for dd but know how hard the time thing is. I don't know where to start with this though.

[pupuce]

I have a slightly similar story....PR/marketing manager for a blue chip.... lots of career potential for me but I am fed up of the corporate world so will be leaving them in October. I earn a very good salary and have made the "mad?" decision to go at it alone.... (as a doula - see other threads on this)... and DH is basically a SAHD!... I just want to spend some time with my kids. do something I enjoy far more.... so IMO it is worth giving up... yes our income will severely diminish and I have put money aside for 12 months of hardship but can't help worry now that the deadline is near !
I also feel that with my PR/mktg background I MUST be able to start my business properly.... gosh I hope so at least !

All of this basically = we only live once, our kids grow up once.... I want to enjoy life.... and OK I won't go out as often, it will force me to be more creative versus my current "everyday is the same" sort of life..... and WORST case, I'll haveto find a corporate job in 2 years time (I hope not!)

[pupuce]

Contact baby organix.... maybe they have factory tours....

[WideWebWitch]

Tillysmumy, I have some experience of dealing with unrealistic/unreasonable demands from ex bosses! The way I usually tried to tackle it was:

By preparing a time/project planning document showing all the tasks you have to complete, the expected time to be spent on each task and the priority. (make sure the total hours are only the hours you have agreed to work, sorry if that's b obvious!)

• Once this document is prepared getting my boss to "buy into it" and agree that the tasks/work are in the correct order of priority, that the targets and goals are realistic and achieveable and that the time stated to complete each task is reasonable.
  
  
• Once this document is completed and agreed you can deal with any new or stupid demands by asking "where does this fit into my priorities and time? What else would you like me to downgrade to handle this new piece of work?" (sorry to come across all corporate here!)
  
  If they want unrealistic returns on their marketing investment all you can do is point this out politely and professionally (preferably in writing) thereby covering your a* should these not be achieved. You can then only do your best to deliver what you believe and have stated to be reasonable. Proving that your dept have generated the leads and that the sales dept has failed to close the deals might be useful if you can document this without being confrontational.
  
  
• It sounds as if your boss is under pressure and this is probably behind his recent attitude. (again, sorry for stating the obvious)
  
  
• Remember the serentity prayer (even if you're not religious, like me, I find it a helpful mantra): "(God) Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"
  
  
• If you want to stay in the job - which sounds as if it suits you in terms of hours and pay etc then I think you have to handle this as best you can, ride the storm and hope it subsides.
  
  Good luck, HTH.

[PamT]

Tillysmummy, I love your business idea and there is certainly a demand for better quality and organic baby food. I have to warn you that food regulations are horrendous and it can be difficult to break into a specific food market when you are new. I'm just starting my own business selling branded, long life non-dairy and vegan products but it is so difficult to persuade people to buy from me rather than a supermarket. I'm already looking at diversifying into specialist chocolate by mail order to widen my market a little. Its costing more than I make at the moment but none of my stock is wasted as DD and myself can use it all anyway. Perhaps I need a good marketing manager!

Don't lose heart, you obviously have the motivation and determination to succeed in your chosen work and wish you lots of luck whether you stay where you are and sort things out or look to pastures new. Often we have to go through the bad to achieve what we really want.

[WideWebWitch]

Or you could just say f* it and resign!

[Jendy]

Tillysmummy can understand how you feel, I don't think I'm treated quite as badly at work but everything is so outcome or perfomance related, and if you don't complete objectives (soemtimes unreasonable ones) whatever the reason - you're made feel as if you've failed to do your job. I also feel a bit resentful going in to a job everyday for what feels like hassle and leaving my ds in nursery for even longer hours than I actually work. I've being toying with the idea of changing work but it's so difficult to knw where to start. I thought of organic cooking but also wasn't sure where to start. Other options I've been looking at are teaching, nursing or therapy because it will be easier to do sessional work when ds gets older. Like you I worry about losing salary needed to pay bills.

[Tillysmummy]

Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. Pupuce, it sounds like you are being very brave. I wish I had your courage. If dh earned more we would be ok I suppose we could just take out a loan if I am temporarily without work. I desperately want to consult and know I could do it just am too terrified and had always planned to have the shares money behind me to give me a little lee way. You are right though, the time they are young does go so quickly.

WWW thanks for the advice. You are right I must try and document everything just not that easy with some things because it looks suspicious. Luckily my brother is a barrister specialising in employment law and my DH a lawyer who knows a bit about it. I am already seeking advice to back myself up.

PamT, what you are doing sounds interesting and I can only imagine how hard it is to convince people to buy from you. I think I would face the same problems and the food hygiene thing is an absolute nightmare I know. I am going to look into it though.

I think you ladies have inspired me to present a detailed and backed up plan at the next board meeting and see how it goes. Big problem is that Finance Director here is a total tosser (excuse langauge) and he is MD's brother in law ! He has no marketing experience at all and keeps saying that marketing is a cost etc, etc, etc. The latest thing they have come up with is that the Sales and Marketing VP that was sacked a few months ago spent a lot of money on telesales etc, etc while I was on maternity leave and I am now being blamed for it not working. I keep getting told it's Marketing and the board doesn't care who is actually responsible, they just blame Marketing as a whole even though I point out I wasn't even here !

Wish me luck, just going into another meeting with MD

Hope I don't cry this time. It seems whenever anyone is confrontational these days I cry. How pathetic is that, I never used to. Anyone else epxerienced this too ?

[PamT]

Yes I go into a situation all aggressive (should learn to be more assertive) but I am generally reduced to tears before I get the first breathless sentence out. Good luck, you must have what it takes to have got as far as you have - give 'em what for!

BTW your local authority's Food Safety team (under Environmental Health) should have leaflets that they can send you about food regulations for small businesses and Business Link are very good for advice and training on all aspects of starting up a business.

[Lucy123]

[sorry in advance for using the message boards for this] PamT - sounds like you need a good website. You can email me on [email protected].

Tillysmummy - excellent idea, hope the bank thinks so too! (but again as a self-employed person myself I am only too aware that you need something behind you - I didn't have and it's been very hard)

[PamT]

Lucy, I have a website, though admittedly it is only an amateur attempt at one. I'm currently operating by local home delivery so the internet isn't my main means of contact but it will become much more important if I go mail order. I'm not looking at doing shopping carts or online payment just yet as the costs cannot be justified at this stage. I may well email you, thanks for the offer.

[Zoe]

Tillysmummy there is a really good article in this month's Red magazine about how people who had a business idea (not as good as yours either!) started small and built up - mainly not giving up thier main jobs first - this might help you out, and if it doesn't, a couple of hours with a mag and a glass of wine will do you no harm...

If it's any consolation I too have been feeling like you lately, and have been chanting my mantra of "Ride the storm..." which is one of the best pieces of advice career-wise that I ever got, and the storm is abating, as it always does.

But if someone offered me cash to stay at home with my beloved ds I would for sure.

Give yourself a hug

[aloha]

I feel a lot of sympathy for you. I now work for myself (freelance) and the best thing is seeing much more of my ds, no meetings, no one boss who holds my career in their hand, and no stupid office politics. I do work a lot in the evenings etc but it's so much better,. No wonder so many women start their own businesses. Could you set up an IT consultancy? your boss sounds a right t**r!

[tigermoth]

Have you looked on the 'busygirl' website? Lots of advice and support for aspiring femail entrepeneurs. Sorry, don't know the exact address.

No other advice to offer, tillysmummy, but I do sympathise with you.

[Tillysmummy]

Thanks ladies and Aloha, even that is too polite for him ! Zoe I have ridden the storm and it's abated this time but I am resentful about the whole thing.

I am definitely going to look into my idea.
Tigermoth I'll look at the website. Thanks all for your support.

I found out my legal standing the other day and it's not great but ok, they can't make my role redundant in the size of comp we are but could offer me a compromise agreement and pay off etc. If they wanted to cut back i'd have to get rid of some of my team first. Not nice at all.

I think my plan is to sit tight and in the meantime investigate my own idea. Thx again

[sis]

Tillysmummy, good luck with your plans for the future and, in the meantime, the people at your current job!

[Tillysmummy]

Thanks Sis, my policy now is just to shut up and get on with it.

[nics1stbaby]

Tillysmummy

I cannot believe how accurately you have described my company (evil family run IT consultancy) and my role (marketing manager). The only difference is that I am now 30 weeks pregnant and due to go on maternity leave at the end of Sept. The stingy buggars (although I worked hard to achieve a lot with very little budget and resource) will not be giving me anything above smp - and won't even tell me if I can work the 4 days a week I have asked about until I call them 1 month before I am due to return (although with the help of mumsnetters I put together a detailed report on how 4 days a week would work for them to their benefit, etc.). The problem is that the Dad owns the company, and he is the FD, his son is the MD, the wife is the lead consultant, the brother-in-law heads up Support, and countless relatives seem to be in and out all the time. Everyone 'non-family' hates working here.

I really really do not want to come back here for exactly the same reasons you mention (successful marketing - really pants sales team) - no one in the family accountable for their actions - blah blah. But, it seems that although I am an achiever, you have to be in a good company first so they can see the benefit of keeping you, although your circumstances have changed and you need to work more flexibly.

My aim is to find a part-time/ job-share in a big plc... but marketing jobs like this don't seem to be out there..

Sorry to go on about my 'challenges!'.. but the simularities between our roles seemed incredible.. good luck to you.