God, why are some mums so bloody dull??

(273 Posts)
littlelapin Fri 15-Jun-07 14:04:03

LOL you made the round up! UCM, something else for you to be famous about

Beachcomber Fri 15-Jun-07 08:45:22

Yes AGBU your thread is most amusing!

Also has taken me on a nostalgic trip of my youth. Though I enjoyed it at the time, I quite happily swopped sex, drugs and rock 'n roll for sleepless nights, calpol and incy wincy spider.

I imagine that a lot of the mums that you find you don't have much in common with have had pretty similar interests to yours, they just aren't at that place in life at the moment.

TranquilaManana Thu 14-Jun-07 22:16:04

<sighs wistfully and turns attention to building time machine so you can be my mama from the minute i was adopted at about 3 weeks which is when my mother forgot me under a bush or soemthing.>
(she didnt, btw. shame really...)

lulumama Thu 14-Jun-07 18:53:21

yes, tranquil...and i will bake flapjacks and smile dotingly at you!

kel4mum Thu 14-Jun-07 18:42:32

AGBU This is a good thread, had trouble reading it with the kids running around. I am 29 and dont relate to you at all. I dont do clubbing, never been to Ibiza, dont even know how to download. I thought the idea of becoming a mum was that your life revolved around them and everything else has to just fit in. I wouldnt care less weather no one spoke to me in the playground but i am happy that people do. All the people in the playground have one thing in common with you.....


Thats why they talk about them

If any of them become your friends then you can discuss holidays, music and clubbing.
I doubt they will be interested though.

TranquilaManana Thu 14-Jun-07 18:38:29

Roffle at the guessing and clique loving. hehehe.

so, lulu, can i be your (presumably!) eldest dd??? only when im ill, like...i'll take care of myself the rest of the time. call once a month and let you know im not dead, that sort of thing...
(my mum might be put out tho...hmmmm)

lulumama Thu 14-Jun-07 18:33:40

i know who Tranqil is now !

<<removes sherlock hat and looks smug..>>

allgonebellyup Thu 14-Jun-07 18:30:47

by the way i do DOWNLOAD onto CD(its cheaper), i do also have an ipod if ya must know..

lulumama Thu 14-Jun-07 18:07:24

hmmmm.......am not good at this sort of thing..still, i like being in a <<cleak>>

alright fletch?

Not me - might be the person under her wing?

lulumama Thu 14-Jun-07 17:47:01

ok tranquil..if i am adopting you...need to know who you are,<<squints>> is that you fletch? or am i way off??

<<snorting at bobsmum and drumstick lolly drool>>

bobsmum Thu 14-Jun-07 17:42:50

I help run a youth club.

One night on planning a music quiz I asked all teenagers what music they liked:

Teen: "Huh?"

So I tried again - "What CDs do you like/have?"

<Tumbleweed rolled across hall>

<Teen actually laughs in my face spitting out Drumsick lolly drool>

"Nobody has CDs anymore!!" I just download!"

Whole village hall erupts in cackling while I adopt foetal position in the hope of a big hole to swallow me up.

You're showing your age talking about CDs AGBU!

MellowMa Thu 14-Jun-07 17:38:33

Message withdrawn

SueBaroo Thu 14-Jun-07 17:18:32

AGBU, I will eternally grateful to ye, lass. I've never been in a clique before, and it's all thanks to thee

allgonebellyup Thu 14-Jun-07 17:06:01

Beachcomber, hey dontcha think this whole thread i started is kinda amusing?

TranquilaManana Thu 14-Jun-07 12:47:57

lapin, i love that you got that. in fact, ive decided i love you. and suebaroo, i love you too.
youre both in my clique now. along with that nappyaddict, shes under my wing (s'ok, ive got deodorant on today).
and lulus in it already (actually, lulu's my adoptive mother/sister, which she doesnt actually know, but hey, its cyberspace. she doesnt really need to )

Beachcomber Thu 14-Jun-07 08:56:44

Hilarous thread.

Has anybody else noticed how the OP has only posted quite dull things whilst everybody else has been witty/funny/clever/insightful ?

BTW OP I'm sure you are not 'dull' (is anybody really) and your thread is most entertaining.

merryberry Thu 14-Jun-07 08:14:39

want to hear more about the mad japanese woman please!

suzycreamcheese Wed 13-Jun-07 23:19:53

sobernow...classic post...lolol

Boco Wed 13-Jun-07 23:06:45

No no in the morning i have weetabix on my elbow. At 3.30 i have soup on my trousers.

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 22:54:29

Boco - you eat soup for breakfast?

Boco Wed 13-Jun-07 22:42:37

At our school some mums arrive half an hour early - with freshly made up faces. I turn up with soup on my leg and dd2 in fancy dress.

BishyBarneyBee Wed 13-Jun-07 22:39:41

just don't see the playground as a social event tbh - say hi get children - chat if mad japanese woman is there, if not go home.

jajas Wed 13-Jun-07 22:38:43

I'm in my early 40's but I was a right little raver in my 20's and 30's, absolutely loved it and still really miss it, but it's very hard to find anyone else at school gates who shares my enthusiasm! I don't know how on earth I'm now doing the 'school run' because it was a concept that I used to find hilarious when I was larging it up in some warehouse at 6 in the morning but hey here I am like it or lump it !

BishyBarneyBee Wed 13-Jun-07 22:17:11

get an i-pod and a book

sensory isolation

SueBaroo Wed 13-Jun-07 21:47:20

lulu, wotcha sayin'?

Mrscarrot Wed 13-Jun-07 21:45:01

It is possible to drop off/collect your child from school, smile politely, and not engage with people.

It sounds like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder to me.

SueBaroo Wed 13-Jun-07 21:42:15

And you know what? If you met me at the school gate, you'd never guess... *tee hee*

lulumama Wed 13-Jun-07 21:41:17


littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 21:39:41

I think I love you

SueBaroo Wed 13-Jun-07 21:36:45

littlelapin, I know There just isn't a box marked crazy fundy ex-cage-dancer with a history of cross-dressing blokes, is there?

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 21:27:56

SueBaroo, my mental picture of you is changing dramatically!

TM, I love "isn't strictly true"

TranquilaManana Wed 13-Jun-07 20:34:47

SueBaroo Wed 13-Jun-07 20:32:28

yep, I did say that it takes time to find a niche you fit with when you become a mum.

I imagine the reaction might have been slightly less abrasive if AGBU hadn't started with such a stonkingly in yer face post, but you know what, she prolly wouldn't have got the size and sheer enthusiasm of response either. And the 'no jobs to go to' did threaten to turn the thread een a certain direction...

My tranny ex-boyfriend nicked my only Ibiza CD. Bitch.

TranquilaManana Wed 13-Jun-07 20:26:04

i feel quite sorry for the hapless agbu here...
still, nothing like mn for telling the awful truth in a hundred eloquent ways

fwiw, i do get that 'dont know where i belong' thing. but you know what? i think its pretty universal. i dont think theres a single one of us gave birth to our pfb's, went to sleep and woke up A Mum. i realised i was expecting some sort of miraculous change at a molecular level or something, like sopmeone would re-load my harddrive with the right software for this lark while i slept... i think maybe you are under same illusion perhaps??

(ps, i spent 2 whole summers in ibiza. i literally never bring it up as small talk. mostly coz i think it will be received as 'im a blinkin drug addled dull as dishwater shallow brainless bimbo'. which isnt strictly true, but there you go.)

TheDaVinciCod Wed 13-Jun-07 20:05:53


lorca Wed 13-Jun-07 20:05:39

I'm going to talk to somebody else..... [flounces off]

DaphneHarvey Wed 13-Jun-07 19:59:00

OP - why on earth don't you seek out the younger mums to talk to? I would die of boredom if someone wanted to chat to me about their girlie holiday in Ibiza or the tunes they listen to.

Is it possible for you to understand that people like you are deathly dull to some others, just as those others are dealthy dull to you? Or are you not wise enough to have grasped that fact yet?

nogoes Wed 13-Jun-07 19:58:52

allgonebellyup - I'm not sure we would get on very well, SIL bought her ipod over on saturday night so we could listen to some "tunes", there I am glass of wine in one hand and CD in the other hand looking for the bloody slot to stick my CD in.

Gobbledigook Wed 13-Jun-07 19:55:29

Ha ha! I mean ally, not lorca!! COme back lorca my darlink!

foxinsocks Wed 13-Jun-07 19:54:38

lol poor lorca

BaffledByBabyTights Wed 13-Jun-07 19:52:00

I agree FioFio - I am usually too busy trying to prevent toddler running front of cars, stop baby crying and listen to DS1 telling me something long and (in his opinion) crucially important in a whisper, to worry about shoring up someone else's ego. I don't really care if someone thinks my attempt at polite small talk is boring - I don't do wit at 8.30 am, much less make sure the young mother in the playground looking down her nose at me feels valued and appreciated. Mmmm - cliche coming - don't judge a book by its cover.

TheDaVinciCod Wed 13-Jun-07 19:49:01

no not oyu lorca
the original poster

lorca Wed 13-Jun-07 19:48:08

Thanks for that gob-ledegook - that was my very first message, ever. new mumsnetter. See ya.

Gobbledigook Wed 13-Jun-07 19:46:06

Read the whole thread now. It's a wind up, right?

YOu sound like a right pratt.

lorca Wed 13-Jun-07 19:37:14

twoifbysea - talking of ironing - anyone iron their knickers? I went to see a boring mum the other dy and she was ironing her kids knickers AND SOCKS!!

marthamoo Wed 13-Jun-07 19:35:41

If someone asked me what tunes I liked I'd probably say the cherry flavoured ones.

Gobbledigook Wed 13-Jun-07 19:35:12

What a delightful original post.


FioFio Wed 13-Jun-07 19:29:19

Message deleted

TwoIfBySea Wed 13-Jun-07 19:25:38

Oh allgonebellyup, had you not mentioned London I would have thought you must have overheard the mum that was talking to other mums at dts school today.

All about ironing, and housework and not having any time for it (why, what are they doing? Are they really that bad at time management? No one is going to die if the ironing piles up for Gods sake!) The way they were talking I was so glad to not be included or otherwise I might have had the urge to smack my head against the glass doors!

And I've recently decided not to bother with the PSA/Parent Council anymore as it is so bloody clique that I spent the past year offering to help and being told "Oh no that is x's job."

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 18:57:28

And I've had to think a lot about the new bathroom I'm having done in the near future

Its exhausting stuff

And I might have to go to work tomorrow if my raging sinusitis starts responding to the antibiotics

Idreamofdaleks Wed 13-Jun-07 18:56:10

Just change the subject whenever you feel bored

However, actually going to clubs and dancing to music may be fun, but talking about them generally isn't imo

newgirl Wed 13-Jun-07 18:46:15

sorry i didn't make it to school this afternoon but i sent the exhausted gardener in the 4 x 4

HuwEdwards Wed 13-Jun-07 18:45:50

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

<<<jumps up>>>>>

sorry, where am I? fell aslepp half way through the OP....

SueBaroo Wed 13-Jun-07 18:45:38

If you have so much contempt for them, why would you want to find out about their interests? Genuine question.

I mean, you don't sound as if you like them as people to begin with.

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 18:43:41

I've sent dh to get dd from swimming, after all he's been away on business and I've "helped" her to revise for her school exams this week

Sorry, seem to be on a parallel universe

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 18:25:08

well they bore me going on about THEIR houses, THEIR husbands, THEIR 4X4s..

turquoise Wed 13-Jun-07 18:18:51

"would rather be discussing my girlie holiday in ibiza, and the tunes i listen to, and the clubs we will go to , and the careers im interested in..."

Can you not just say, "Please shut up about your lives, let's talk about Me?"

SueBaroo Wed 13-Jun-07 18:15:34

"wanky fanjo" [groin] [bush]


Crikey, that throw-away comment took off dint it?

Maybe they're MNers, AGBU, and they get all their undull conversation urges out here.

Califrau Wed 13-Jun-07 18:14:32

you should come to our school where the parents hang out in language tribes. I am on waving terms with the tagalogs, chatting terms with the hispanics and ds2 and I have a regular seat outside ds1's classroom with 2 turbans and a coolie hat!

UCM Wed 13-Jun-07 18:13:30

OMG, I have just stated that I am a 'Mother'. I feel very grown up now

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 18:12:21

Wendyweber what the hell do you mean by that??
just because i work and have other interests that i love, it means i am neglecting my children?
Sorry i am not one of those people who go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about their children/what their children eat/when they sleep/what their favourite colour is..

Desiderata Wed 13-Jun-07 18:12:09

My, but you have a way with words, AGBU!

UCM Wed 13-Jun-07 18:12:09

Babygrand, I DO think about other stuff and I have been at home for over a year now and I am quite into it. As Lulu says mundane is nice and safe. Not everyone wants to think of other stuff all of the time.

I bet some of the girls on here who debate the important stuff, in the news, politics are lovely mums during the day. But when the kids go to bed, of course they are interested in other stuff.

I don't get a lot of time to think about the other stuff during the day as I am busy being a mother.

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 18:10:21

meandmyflyingmachine - i think youve hit the nail on the head, are you a shrink?!

lulumama Wed 13-Jun-07 18:09:20

i think some people are just dull, regardless of being a mum or not....not everyone you meet is going to rock your world and bring new meaning to life...sometimes mundane can be nice

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 18:09:07

and you, in turn, take the piss out of other mothers.

babygrand Wed 13-Jun-07 18:08:48

(Just opened this thread to see if it was about me. I do often wonder why I am so boring.)

For some people I guess when they're bringing up children and spending a lot of time in the home, there isn't much time or energy to think about more interesting topics.

meandmyflyingmachine Wed 13-Jun-07 18:08:09

I think you are projecting. I think your friends think you are dull and mumsy, and you are yelling "no, no, I'm still fabulous - they're the mumsy ones"

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 18:06:56

OMG, your kid/s finally got a mention, I've been waiting for that

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 18:05:56

i do actually do all the dull stuff like taking dd to gym all the time and taking ds to playschool but it gets me down and i feel like life is one big nothing at times.

my child-free friends take the piss out of me for "doing nothing all day" (part time work means nothing to them!)

Twiglett Wed 13-Jun-07 18:05:34


oops caps sorry

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 18:04:19

I'm so dull I must go and eat supper with my dh and then collect dd from her swimming training

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 18:03:17


"Och noo, you're right"

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 18:02:46

I think we should have a thread where we can place bets on how big certain threads will get. Winner gets, er, er, an LDC from Mars and a VSC from Slubbergullion.

I predict this one hitting 400...

UCM Wed 13-Jun-07 18:02:40

Agree about the clubs as well, I recently went out with 'work' to ease myself back into it and flinging my 15 stone self around TigerTiger in Piccadilly isn't something I would ever repeat or want to again. I started off so well too, networking with senior management etc. Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Harrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 18:01:02

I prefer a nice cup of tea and a petit four in the Apricot Meringue these days [gurn]

Twiglett Wed 13-Jun-07 18:01:00

oo is this turning into a SAHMs are dull thread

is it?

<crosses arms expectantly>

UCM Wed 13-Jun-07 18:00:43

Something else I am wondering here about the school gates, I smile politely and then I am off stomping up the pavement thinking about what I am going to cook. I never stand around as I don't have the time. Even if I did, it would be for a few mins, and I doubt I will ever get onto kippers, wanking or whether the dishwasher had broken down unless I was having a coffee, or a good hour to spare on a playdate.....

Does anyone seriously have academic/political conversations at the school gates.

handlemecarefully Wed 13-Jun-07 17:59:57

Pag writes:
so, just to recap, the the few ones who are lovely and funny and interesting are the ones who work.......ALL the others are the washing dullards. Is that it ?"

lol, that would be it - because a part time job as a bank teller / Admin. Assistant / whatever renders you infinitely interesting doesn't it?

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:59:14

Yes but you weren't there for the "second summer of love"

some of us were alive for first one

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 17:59:04

Get off your face / dont get off your face, the point is that apart from friends, family, basically anyone who is more than a passing acquaintence, couldn't give a toss either way.
It does not constitute small talk.

Twiglett Wed 13-Jun-07 17:58:34

like whoever said earlier .. I've done my time in clubs, the thought of having to go again fills me with abject horror

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:57:51

hey i do go to clubs in Brighton now and again! love it there...

Twiglett Wed 13-Jun-07 17:57:42

sorry for the presumption .. its just reality tv vaccuousness links with lovin' 'choons' and ibiza man in my mind

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:57:39

why not everyone else will be

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:56:54

I remember the clubs of Brighton in the summer of 88

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:56:26

i will not get off my face BTW!!

Aloha Wed 13-Jun-07 17:56:21

Today at pickup I briefly firmed up ds going to play with another child, admired another mother's absolutely fab new child carrying trailer for her bike and sympathised on how hard it will be but good for thighs.

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 17:54:55

I mean in that ravey kinda way.

"wanky fanjo" [groin] [bush]

TheDaVinciCod Wed 13-Jun-07 17:54:27

yeah you can get off your face and be REALLIY interesting

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:54:19

I crap on about my children and associated drudgery when I'm on mumsnet, when I'm at work, when I'm with my friends having lunch, don't see why the school gate should be any different

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 17:54:10

Ibiza as a hols is great, but I think most of us can no longer relate to tunes, clubbing etc etc...

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:54:06

Hate big brother

its grim

hate all reality tv.

so because i love music and dancing, that means i am into shallow and meaningless reality tv??

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 17:53:36

Probably for the best AGBU. Save that kind of thing for chatting to mates.
But dont let it get you down, you just need to brush up on your social skills a bit.

wabbit - you shood ve said 'winky fanjo ? [groin]'

Twiglett Wed 13-Jun-07 17:52:45

may I presume to assume that you also like reality tv allgonebellyup?

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:51:56

no am off to ibiza in 2 weeks time, cant wait, but will not go on about it now as it bores the pants off people i guess...

Twiglett Wed 13-Jun-07 17:51:46

I like to complain endlessly when I'm at the school gates

you name, I shall complain about it

I find it passes the time nicely

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 17:50:48


OI WW, we need to talk about the Lake District at some point... we're up last week in July.

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 17:50:45

Was the bit about Ibiza not true then?

Twiglett Wed 13-Jun-07 17:50:45

lol at wabbit [blish]

been on the sauce 'ave we?

TheDaVinciCod Wed 13-Jun-07 17:50:44

what id d we tlak about
erm the fact that ds1 is to eb an avacuee tomorrow wiht 12 seocnds notice

where another mate was
a mate hwo ahs a crap job how she cna get another one

what i had donethat day ( so..dull)

erm that was it
i ODNt RELY on ti to be my main social activity

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:50:35

I love it, its the sole point of my existence

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 17:49:47

Oh lapin, I thought you'd done it on purpose [groin]

agbu, you seem to be under the impression that mumsie drudgery is what mummies like best - maybe they find you boring - did you think of that?

meandmyflyingmachine Wed 13-Jun-07 17:48:35

What is mumsiness BTW?

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:47:27

God i wish i hadnt mentioned the ibiza thing now, it totally hasnt helped my point at all!!
i just hate mumsiness and drudgery!

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 17:46:51

OH FFS!!!!!

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 17:46:40

"wonky" [blish]

Enid Wed 13-Jun-07 17:45:20

sobernow I love you

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 17:44:57

You're definitely not too old to have those interests..cos if you are then so am i, and i'm not having it!!
The point is that it makes for tedious small-talk.

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 17:44:45

Winky fanjo? Who has a winky fanjo? Does UCM know about this?

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 17:43:55

LOL, I'm learning a lot about other MNers on this thread

"Winky fanjo" - love it.

TheDaVinciCod Wed 13-Jun-07 17:43:33

yes oyu arte but dont presuemt hat if eopel dont want to tlak abotu it they are dull

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 17:43:24

that would be tunes as in itunes I spose

SueBaroo Wed 13-Jun-07 17:42:49

It's like on here. I didn't leap straight in to a discussion on how my fanjo is a bit wonky after 4 kids. I joined in the safe, mumsy sort of things. Eventually you get to know people a bit better and find who you fit with.

FWIW, I didn't get on too well with some of the mums in real life, and it's only recently I've started gelling with a few of them on a basis other than our kids. But it takes time.

Twiglett Wed 13-Jun-07 17:42:33

"would rather be discussing my girlie holiday in ibiza, and the tunes i listen to, and the clubs we will go to , and the careers im interested in..."

<runs screaming from the teenagey anxst of it all>

sorry but that sounds so incredibly dull to me

right off to read the rest of the thread

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:42:15

So i am not allowed to like music/concerts/club nights because i am too old??
i have to stop connecting with my old friends because they dont have children and we like music etc? When i go out with them i dont HAVE to talk about washing loads, ironing, calpol, what type of car i own, etc.

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:41:59

28 is practically middle-aged with regard to knowing about "tunes" (is that what music is called now, they were cough sweets when i were young)

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 17:39:17

na, yes it does - oh good

(Tell you what though, she is desperate for the year to finish!)

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 17:37:24

Doesn't make sense.
Your problem with the other mums is that they talk about mumsy issues right? but you find that boring. Your friends dont want to talk about mumsy things with you, you discuss your interests with them, like CDs right?
I think you've forgotten your own point.
And i cant relate to what you're saying because i stopped trying to connect with people on the basis of what "tunes" i was listening to about 12 years ago.

TheDaVinciCod Wed 13-Jun-07 17:36:50

( and yes getting pissed and tunes - will chew own leg off)

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:36:36

yes i dont know where i fit in!!!

TheDaVinciCod Wed 13-Jun-07 17:36:32

i think poepel stick to safe subjetcs wiht folkt hey dont knwo
t hen when they rae alone wiht their best mate theytalk kippers

SueBaroo Wed 13-Jun-07 17:34:52

I'm 30, so I'm a bit past it, really. It's all about time and place when it comes to small talk, surely?

fryalot Wed 13-Jun-07 17:34:04

so, let me get this right, you think all the mums you know are a bit housewifely, and your mates without kids think you're a bit housewifely?

I'm sensing a pattern here, maybe you've got more in common with the other mums than you realise

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:32:18

Yes i do have many friends but most of them dont have children, so i see them evenings and weekends. i was the first one to have kids and they all think im a bit housewifely!! which i am totally not!

All my friends with children work part time so dont see them all that much, but when i do we have lots in common.

JeremyVile , how can you not relate to me?

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 17:28:40

Dont you have friends to discuss your interests with?
I would imagine thats what these mums do and they keep the small talk for people that they dont really know, ie at the school gates.
Btw, you're 28 right? So am I and I cant relate to what you're saying at all.

merryberry Wed 13-Jun-07 17:28:08

I am rubbish at small talk sometimes.

Other Mother: 'Wonder if it will ever stop raining'
Brain-disengaged me: 'Wish it would then I could stop humming Wet Wet Wet tunes in my head'

End of convo.

Two weeks after that I actually saw her swerve to avoid me.

pagwatch Wed 13-Jun-07 17:28:04

so, just to recap, the the few ones who are lovely and funny and interesting are the ones who work.......ALL the others are the washing dullards. Is that it ?

nappyaddict Wed 13-Jun-07 17:24:03

WW does her name begin with F? if so yes.

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:14:18

Like as if us 50 something mothers never went to pop festivals

UCM - I know that one of the mums at tots MNs, and we even discuss MN stuff, though I don't know who she is on here (she has probably spotted me). When I was off for a couple of weeks she even told me that one of my MN pals was having a hard time (which dragged my sorry ass back on here and ruined the progress I had made with my house!)

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 17:13:04

nappyaddict, have you communicated with my ancient 22-yr-old daughter about Social Work yet? She said she'd sent you an email...

niceglasses Wed 13-Jun-07 17:12:39

Never thought of school yard mums as a way to a deep and meaningful - its just the nature of the beast, surely.

And aherm, I'm 39 and went to Glasto last time, have been to see Arcade Fire, am off to see Sheffields finest, the Arctic Monkeys blah blah yaddah yaddah. Don't think I'd bore the bore old mums with my tales of indiedom at the school gates etc. If you find someone you do connect with, maybe then you can move on to more 'interesting' things. I wouldn't be searching for a soulmate and slamming them when I didn't find it thou.

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 17:10:24

nappyaddict, one of the loveliest mothers I know is 23. You are funny and chatty, you'll be fine

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:09:28

the thing is allgone, the school gate is really just a place where mums and/or dads drop off and pick up their schoolchildren, its not a dating agency or a place to have fun particularly

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 17:08:11

Message withdrawn

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:07:16

SOME of them ARE lovely, and funny and interesting, etc! but these mums all work quite a lot so dont see them much, although do go out for drinks sometimes..

Thankfully i work part time so not stuck in playground every day!!!!!

UCM Wed 13-Jun-07 17:06:33

ACTUALLY at my M&T group I do tend to talk about babies as I am in posession of one!!

However, I really really really have to stop myself telling them all to get on Mumsnet or referring to it. Which is incredibly sad, at least it is to someone whom I do not know that well.

Maybe I will try the kippers this week

nappyaddict Wed 13-Jun-07 17:06:21

how old are you AGBU?

i get along great with older mums. my cousin and her friend are 35 and i got on brilliant at the last mn meet up with everyone no matter what age. but i think that's because with them i feel like i can be myself as they already know me.

older mum's i don't really know seem to try and avoid me probably cos they don't think we would get along.

it is my worst nightmare when ds goes to school and me being an outcast cos i will only be 22.

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:06:15

and the even more louche pool boy

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 17:05:59

Message withdrawn

pointydog Wed 13-Jun-07 17:05:20

Are you sure none if the interesting mums want to talk to you?

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 17:04:59

<orders zimmer frame for 39th birthday next week>

motherinferior Wed 13-Jun-07 17:04:23

(and no, I'm not. I don't do these newfangled Quinny things.)

motherinferior Wed 13-Jun-07 17:03:55

...while ogling the well-formed gardener through the French windows...

TheDevilWearsPrimark Wed 13-Jun-07 17:03:50

Motherinferior are you perchance the lovely lady I know via freecycle? We swapped a breadmaker for a quinny zapp?

newgirl Wed 13-Jun-07 17:02:24

i'm afraid the interesting conversations happen when we leave the playground and retire to our mansions to drink cystal by the pool, thanking god that boring husbands are happily occupied with young floozy in the playground

motherinferior Wed 13-Jun-07 17:01:43

...so clearly we are only interested in Saga holidays and restrained, beige clothes...

motherinferior Wed 13-Jun-07 17:01:17

We are all ancient in Catford. Apart from the very young not at all posh mother with whom I get on remarkably well, as it happens.

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:01:12

UD exactly, most of the mums in dds class are 39 at the youngest and the oldest are nearly 50!!

UnquietDad Wed 13-Jun-07 17:00:22

AGBU - is there anyone else your age who is into your kind of thing? Schoolgate parents I know (DD is in Y2) tend to be nearer 38 than 28.

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 17:00:21

and modest as well

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 17:00:13

why cant you go to ibiza at my age?
i had my dd at 19 so always found theres been bit of an age gap

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:57:30

Jeez, AGBU, I thought you were about 20, not 28!!!

CoteDAzur Wed 13-Jun-07 16:57:03

Around the same time you might realize that it wasn't because they are more "cool" that you got along better with men than women

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:56:42

If i mention my career intentions, one of them always says "oh you always have to try and prove yourself dont you!!"

yeah thanks for the support

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:56:28

Message withdrawn

UnquietDad Wed 13-Jun-07 16:56:24

motherinferior, I take your point!

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:55:54

You lot are totally being suckered in here!

motherinferior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:55:06

UD, if she's anything like Ruby in DD1's class it's because she's fed up with the whole fecking class singing it to her, plus DD1 singing the Stones' Ruby Tuesday.

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:55:05

they DO flock to chat to me!!
thats the friggin problem!!

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:54:59

I tend to fart loudly to break the ice.

CoteDAzur Wed 13-Jun-07 16:54:15

Conversations on music and joys of clubbing will seem much less interesting in your thirties.

motherinferior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:54:07

I bloody love the mums at DD1's school gate. And - mwah mwah to UD - the dads too. Admittedly I am old enough to be your great-grandmother, of course.

I don't think anyone has ever mentioned a wahsing machine to me, although admittedly that may say more about me/the Inferiorettes than them.

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:53:44

Hmm, so would I want to have serious discussions with someone who looks down on me, thinks I might be racist or nimby, thinks I am old and boring, and prefers talking to men anyway.

God, I can't imagine why they aren't all flocking to chat to you!

(obviously not applicable to anyone who actually HAS made racist comments to you)

meandmyflyingmachine Wed 13-Jun-07 16:53:37

Or perhaps it was your singing?

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:53:35

Message withdrawn

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:53:33

Maybe you were singing flat

MarshaBrady Wed 13-Jun-07 16:53:29

thats the way agbu talk to the Dads! you'll have those other mummys in a right tizz soon enough.

UnquietDad Wed 13-Jun-07 16:52:39

There is a girl called Ruby in my DD's class and DD & I sang "Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby!" to her as she came out one day. The mums looked at me like I was a total FREAK. They prbably have never even heard of the Kaiser Chiefs. Or maybe they hate them because they are from Leeds.

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:52:37

"kinda trendy"?

Oh ROFL! How old are you again?

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:52:35

Because they are on my head.

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:52:18

I wear suspenders and a bra - with NO knickers!

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:51:28

Why do you care for what i wear??

(if you must know i am kinda trendy, dont do frumpiness)

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:51:20

Can't take credit Dior, I heard it on Stephen Fry's "Current Puns" on Radio 4 the other day (oh lord how middle-class/middle-aged of me!!!)

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:51:00

Message withdrawn

meandmyflyingmachine Wed 13-Jun-07 16:50:57

And I instantly mark myself out as one of these ancient dullards with my use of the word 'hip' there...

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:50:33

Well, that too, obviously !!

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:50:33

Do tell us what you wear at the school gate, agbu

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:50:24

Right, will report back tomorrow!

meandmyflyingmachine Wed 13-Jun-07 16:50:17

Or because you are so young and hip...

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:50:16

Message withdrawn

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:50:04

They probably make a beeline for you because you are young and gorgeous!

UnquietDad Wed 13-Jun-07 16:49:52

That's the spirit!
And if he likes bangin' chooons.

Desiderata Wed 13-Jun-07 16:49:43

Ah, but understand the context, UQD

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:49:39

i love talking to most of the dads, they seem to make a beeline for me cos i probably make it obvious i cant stand the mothers-meeting chit chat.
The dads at school are mostly cool, apart from a miserable looking rich one who told his wife my house was small and pokey

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:49:19

I shall make a beeline for a dad at the schoolgates tomorrow and ask his opinion on whether he would choose kippers or caviar for anal sex.

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:49:13

Message withdrawn

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:48:53

I don't have sex with fish. I'm halibut.

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:48:32

The fish or you?

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:48:26

I love washing machines, me. And vacuum cleaners.

UnquietDad Wed 13-Jun-07 16:47:58

Oh, PLEEEASE, all of you, tomorrow, make an effort to talk to ONE schoolgate dad you don't know. We always feel like we're watching a club we can never be part of when we do the school-run, and all it takes is one person to say "Hello"!

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:47:57

and anal sex with fish.

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:47:40

stand on your head?

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:47:37

ok PTA and cars are interests then

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:47:08

So are the PTA, and cars

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:46:35

But how would you manage anal sex with caviar? Wouldn't you lose them up there?

UnquietDad Wed 13-Jun-07 16:46:23

Dior, I think it's "choooooooooons" actually.

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:46:15

Music is an interest though, no??

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:46:07

Kippers that is.

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:46:06

caviar would be interesting (still fishy though)

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:45:43

I wonder if it makes them any more tasty?

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:45:38

God Dior, you're sooooo middle class

UnquietDad Wed 13-Jun-07 16:45:29

--owning CD's isn't an 'interest'--

And here we see the Gender Gap writ large

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:44:08

Message withdrawn

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:43:47

Why, what should she have instead, UQD?

UnquietDad Wed 13-Jun-07 16:43:03

Kippers! You PERVERT!

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:42:07

Just read the OP for the first time!

Taking the bloody piss! Very funny though.

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:41:04

Message withdrawn

WendyWeber Wed 13-Jun-07 16:40:38

Is it me or is agbu taking the piss?

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:36:30

i know, i just have to get used to the fact that i am a lot younger than these grown up ladies and going through different stages.
Also the middle class thing gets me too "oooh theres a black family moved into the area, we dont get many, do we?!)

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:36:18

Yes bless him! At least he does try. There are women who look right past me when I turn up and say "hello". Ignorant lot!

TheDevilWearsPrimark Wed 13-Jun-07 16:35:05

I agree, it's all about context.
I'm sure many of those women would love to vent about their husband farting during sex, crocs, their smelly fanjo, or people stealing grapes in supermarkets, but it just isn't the sort of thing you bring up in a playground to women you don't know very well.

Nor would you strike up a convrsation about the ltest Roth book you read or neitzche.

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:35:05

Message withdrawn

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:35:04

Thank goodness DS will be going to boarding school from age 5, I won't have to deal with this...

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:34:09

Best one-liner I got at the school gates was from a dad who simply said "raining again eh?"

I had to bite my lip.

Sobernow Wed 13-Jun-07 16:33:18

I would love to join your school, if it has a 'happening' PTA, that is

thirtysomething Wed 13-Jun-07 16:33:13

Yes, PTA = yawn and I should know used o be the treasurer! But everyone's child benefits in some way from the money they raise surely, so even if the meetins are well yawn-worthy and they can be quite cliquey, surely you don't detest the fact that they exist? It's all relative anyway...if you're stuck at home with several young children a PTA meeting can be a good way of unwinding, networking and boozing - the PTA business is usually dispensed with quickly and then serious drinking commences, so maybe there's more to it - could just be the slightly older, more child-laden versions of the Ibiza lot? All I'm saying is maybe they're just at a different stage in life to you and they want to focus on things that revolve around the kids? i.s may be the most interesting thing in their lives at that moment in time? Just a thought.

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:33:03

ok its not just strangers, its people i know quite well(wouldnt call them friends though) and they still talk about CRAP!

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:31:36

AGBU, come and join the Victoria Sponge Cake thread, I think you'll enjoy it...

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:31:25

Message withdrawn

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:30:58


thats my kinda girl...come to our school and hang out with me?

Aloha Wed 13-Jun-07 16:30:45

I've had a hangover after a PTA meeting before now. Actually, more than once
Bloody interesting women with interesting jobs and lives, actually.

cupcakes Wed 13-Jun-07 16:30:34

That's how it is with me.

fryalot Wed 13-Jun-07 16:30:11

(twice )

Ah well I am going to join the PTA. The two really interesting woman I met at mums'n'tots go to it, so I will too (and it is in the pub )

fryalot Wed 13-Jun-07 16:29:56

I have an interest in politics and topical events, I have an eclectic music collection, I read constantly and have travelled over most of Europe and some of Africa, I have worked for most of my adult life in various different industries, all of which would be worthy of comment.

However, when faced with mums that I don't know particularly well (or want to know better, perhaps) I stick to "safe" subjects such as washing, washing machines, ballet, recipes and sleep times.

fryalot Wed 13-Jun-07 16:29:55

I have an interest in politics and topical events, I have an eclectic music collection, I read constantly and have travelled over most of Europe and some of Africa, I have worked for most of my adult life in various different industries, all of which would be worthy of comment.

However, when faced with mums that I don't know particularly well (or want to know better, perhaps) I stick to "safe" subjects such as washing, washing machines, ballet, recipes and sleep times.

Sobernow Wed 13-Jun-07 16:29:28

Maybe they've all got ipods crammed to the gills with banging sounds and they're so off their tits on smack that they can't talk about politics til teatime.

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:28:32

i dont expect them to be interested in ibiza at all! just have their own interests, hobbies, but most of them arent interested in ANYTHING!

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:27:16

ditto cupcakes.

cupcakes Wed 13-Jun-07 16:26:36

PTA = having an interest in your child's school

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:26:16

Message withdrawn

schneebly Wed 13-Jun-07 16:26:01

Think I would rather talk about PTA than clubbing tbh and I am far from dull.

You sound rather presumptious too.

Desiderata Wed 13-Jun-07 16:25:02


There you go, Littlelapin. I just shouted at you.

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:24:58

PTA = Yawn

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:24:15

AGBU, you seem to know a lot about these women who you don't have serious conversations with

AttilaTheMum Wed 13-Jun-07 16:24:14

People who talk about their jobs are usually the most boring people alive ime....

Desiderata Wed 13-Jun-07 16:23:37

But owning CD's isn't an 'interest'.

It's just something to listen to when you're looking after children, doing the house-work, gossiping and generally being dullsville.

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:23:35

It's a pretty limited conversation though, isn't it?

"What music do you like?"

"Thrash metal"

"Oh, I prefer Elgar"

I mean, it's the sort of convo you have at SCHOOL, not the school GATES.

Oh I'm going to get shouted at here, but you sound very condescending. Why shouldn't mothers be interested in the PTA?

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:22:16

And none of them have any ambition!
They never want to work and are happy to rely on dear old hubby to make all the money even when all their children are at school!

meandmyflyingmachine Wed 13-Jun-07 16:21:20

"any ideas of what is happening in the rest of the world? no jobs to go to, or issues to focus on???? "

MarshaBrady Wed 13-Jun-07 16:21:11

finally mn is making me again lololol at pretty much everything on this thread. hilar

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:20:32

Hey i didnt say weighty topics, its just there is more to life than having babies, cooking, cleaning, shopping at tesco and gossiping.
So what if i like to go to ibiza, there must be interests these other women have that dont revolve around school, kids, cleaning etc..? Why dont they develop some interests?
For instance none of them seem to own any CDs......there are so many types of music, surely you cant not like ANY??

FLIER Wed 13-Jun-07 16:18:03

ahh that explains why they don't talk to me - they're too busy talking about their new washing machines etc.

MadamePlatypus Wed 13-Jun-07 16:17:21

This is small talk. Ofcourse they're not dull. Very few people are dull once you find out more about them.

Aloha Wed 13-Jun-07 16:16:36

WEll, I'd find a discussion about 'tunes' so mindboggling dull I'd have to go and hang myself to escape Horses for courses, one person's dull is another person's friendly.

Rhubarb Wed 13-Jun-07 16:16:21

Personally I like to engage in such topics as Creationism versus Catholicism, or the historical significance of stone based architecture.

But then no-one seems to want to talk to me

meandmyflyingmachine Wed 13-Jun-07 16:16:17


Girlie holidays in Ibiza


That kind of weighty topic...

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:15:47

TBH, AGBU, I would happily chat to you about careers, but girly hols in Ibiza? Clubbing? No longer on my radar, I'm afraid, and I imagine the same applies to these women.

Do you start conversations?

cupcakes Wed 13-Jun-07 16:15:44

Sounds completely normal to me. I apologise if you find it dull.

It's small talk. It is by nature meaningless.

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:14:50

i want to discuss hangovers too!!!!

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:14:17

This is SO TRUE about the middle class school thing! you are so right!

Also i am younger than a lot of them and would rather be discussing my girlie holiday in ibiza, and the tunes i listen to, and the clubs we will go to , and the careers im interested in...
not day to day drudgery

some of these mums i would call friends (sort of)although i do keep my distance at times when the dullness of the conversations make me wanna fall asleep.

there are a couple of dads there i really get on with, they are a good laugh, but they are like outcasts at the school!!

meandmyflyingmachine Wed 13-Jun-07 16:13:51

Yes. In that five minutes snatched first thing in the morning, what weighty topics do you want to debate?

littlelapin Wed 13-Jun-07 16:13:46


Anyway, it's not dull mums, it's dull people. At least they are talking to you, look at all the "I hate toddler group, everyone ignores me" threads.

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 16:12:13

AGBU, Just out of interest...
Ideally what would you like to discuss with other mums at the school gates?

bobsyouruncle Wed 13-Jun-07 16:07:43

Ah see the mistake you've made is sending your dc to a school popular with middle class families. We live in a far less desirable area and discussed nights out on the drink & the worst hangover we've ever had today in the playground - I'll spare you the details...

I met a lovely mum at local mums and tots. I knew the face but had never really had time to talk to her much before then.

Her second sentence to me was 'I am quite worried as I have this op coming up, I am having vaginal reconstructive surgery'. I said something like it will be nice to get a new shiney one.
I knew at that point that we would get along fine...

Desiderata Wed 13-Jun-07 16:06:13

"no jobs to go to"

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 16:06:08

You've told us now though UCM

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:05:39

Message withdrawn

PrincessPeaNips Wed 13-Jun-07 16:05:23

no wonder your fanjo smells of fish UCM

Aloha Wed 13-Jun-07 16:04:39

Well, it's friendly small talk. Trying to find common ground with you. When and if you get to know them better they would probably talk about other things. If you find it dull, why not introduce topics of interest to you.

Lucycat Wed 13-Jun-07 16:04:32

Of course some people do!

Maybe it's just that the playground isn't the right place to discuss world politics with people who they only know on a caual nodding aquaintance basis?

What do you talk about then? or don't you?

UCM Wed 13-Jun-07 16:04:31

Do you UCM? - how interesting

UCM Wed 13-Jun-07 16:03:26

Well, you tend to talk to people at the school gates about the reason you are there I spose, which is children.

I would not walk into my local toddler group and tell them that I like anal sex on Sunday mornings, with kippers afterwards IYKWIM.

Dior Wed 13-Jun-07 16:03:10

Message withdrawn

JeremyVile Wed 13-Jun-07 16:02:58

Have you not tried to engage them in more interesting topics.
You obviously have charm - use it

Cammelia Wed 13-Jun-07 16:02:47

allgonebellyup Wed 13-Jun-07 16:01:34

Just need to rant..all the playground/toddler grp conversations seem to revolve around:

- washing,washing machines breaking etc
- does my daughter love ballet, or would she rather do modern? or tap? Oh its so hard to decide, i dont know what to choose,hmm, oh its such a rush after school getting to all these places, blardy blah..
- are you preparing recipes for the school cook book? (er, no)
- OOh are you going to the PTA meeting after school, theyre talking about the new fences that are being put up (yeah like i care!)
-my husband thinks our new 4X4 isnt big enough for the kids, we only have one child but oh we really do need more space..so we have to buy the hugest fukking land rover we can find in london
-we tried to get ds to sleep at 7.15 last night but he was cranky and didnt drop off til 7.30 so i didnt have time to get all my ironing done..blardy blaardy bores...

Does my head in!! dont they have any interests? any ideas of what is happening in the rest of the world? no jobs to go to, or issues to focus on????

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