ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
Oooh can we have a thread about things you said and thought about your Precious First Born which make you blush looking back on it(314 Posts)
Following on from the other thread which was veering that way.
My mum said she had seen a baby on the telly who was the same age as DS (three months) who seemed more alert than DS. I cried into a muslin.
My PFB is only 7 weeks old, so not able to laugh at myself yet (she's ^so advanced^ she'd probably sit up in her pram and ask me what's so funny). She is also PFGrandchild and PFniece though and I can laugh at my sister. She was chatting up some guy in a club who was telling her how clever his niece was, Sis insisted her niece was cleverer eventually slammed the drink he's bought her on the counter and stormed off, fumimg at his lack of understanding. I was only 7 months pg at the time.
When we came home with our PFB, he slept in our bedroom, and we spent THREE whole days in this room, without leaving AT ALL. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed with DH, dinner on our laps...
We took turns watching telly in the living room in the evening.
My mum came to rescue us after 4 days .
We then spent a YEAR saying: "Can you keep an eye on him while I go to the loo!", and "Keep an eye on him while I put the kettle on" (even though with loo door open you can see the whole (obviously baby-proved) living room...
Also, My DSs are most beautiful, still now!
Im wondering if any of the ladies that were currently pregnant and were worried they too would have PFB behaviour actually did? Im betting they had the most beautiful babies on the maternity ward and they were obviously very advanced! This is a great thread!
i have a photo in one of the zillion albus labelled "her first plaster"
i lost count of the number of times i threw off the duvet in the middle of the night, snapped the light on and woke dh telling him i'd lost her in the bed to which he invariably replied "she's in her cot , you daft bat!"
Eek - this certainly is a blast from the past. I was telling my friend about what a LUNATIC I was with my PFB.
Dp's dad came to visit me every morning AS SOON as the ward opened so I could go to the loo and have a shower.
In our defence Baby Alex, was kidnapped from her maternity ward a few weeks before.
I rang NHS direct as DD's poo was a bit Green
Am was very proud of apgar scores.. 10,10 and 10 and 9,9 and 10
not bad considering my 2 were very premature.
yeah !! [big head]
I remember thinking DD was a genius before she went to school. Then when she got to school she was one of the bright kids, reinforcing my delusion. Then she got to Y3 and it all evened out. She got some great scores on the SATs, some perfectly average ones.
She's a good kid, bright as a button, but genius? Gifted? Talented? Er, no.
In my defence she memorised books with lots of pages and words at the age of 3. Could look like she was reading them, but was just being a shakey-fakey.
She's still my PFB (OB - Only Born) though, so I'm still neurotic, obsessed and delusional about her
Ah, but my 3 1/2 week old PFB DD actually IS the most beautiful baby in the world
Got so obsessed that the bedroom should be completely dark that we had black out curtains, plus a black sheet and a purple throw hanging from the window. The room was so unbearably dark it was like living in a cave!
I'm still doing it now, with my second born! I shouted for dp to come quickly today as i was sure she must be a genious. She was in the bath picking a scab on her knee and she said very clearly (she's not yet 3) 'i will exacerbate it'
I asked her to say it again and she said 'ex-acer-bate'. and i said 'OMG, DP, COME QUICK, DD2 IS A FRICKING GENIOUS!'
and dp came in looking bored and slightly cross as he was busy looking at something, and said 'what?' and i said 'dd, say it again!' and she looked blank. And i repeated it and said 'dd, what does 'exacerbate' mean?' and she said, 'well, i think it is a flavour of boy'.
And dp wandered off again and dd won't repeat the word. She said it though, she did!.
Oh god, I've just blocked the whole thing out.
Pontificating on parenthood to people with many children, many older children, and to my own parents. Instructing experienced parents how to hold his head juuuuuuuust right. Oh god I feel my sphincter clenching as I type
My child will never .... was a particular favourite.
And the changing of clothes, every dribble - new outfit. Every nappy change - clean clothes. Health visitors every week to be weighed and measured...
When ds2 was born he got clean clothes when his were so crusty you could no longer bend him, and the health visitor saw him about 3 times in 5 years!
I do remember thinking that the fact the midwife commented on dd following the light was a sign of her superior intelligence. she was about 10 days old. w.t.f.
that at eight months he was far too young to be left withn anyone but me even for an hour!now he wont stay with anyone and ive not been out for years silly silly twaty me,oh and an hour out of hospital announcing that he never crys.......again silly me
the thing that really makes me blush was visiting some friends - for several days - when dd was about 4-5 months. I thought the whole world stopped for newborns. My friends had an 18-month old (who looked HOOOOOGE), one at 3 and a half and one at 5 and a half. and i just thought she was expert mum, that her whole life was sorted and easy because she knew what she was doing, wasn't breastfeeding and the kids all slept through the night. I have apologised so many times since. she's lovely and laughs and promises me she didn;t think I was a pita. she's a real friend
I'm just bumping this thread as it was sooo funny, for anyone who needs a laugh!
I would actually get upset if I went out & no-one complimented me on my lovely baby (I got very used to compliments). He was and still is beautiful though. So is DS2.
schment they mean it when the say these things-midwives i mean.
when i had ds1 our midwife said to me that she saw babies every day but that ds1 was really special-she was going on leave and another midwife would be continuing our care and she said it was a good thing really because she was getting a little too attached to him.
please don't tell me that was fake and something she says to everyone?
OMG I have laughed so much at these, the tears are rolling down my face, a childless colleague has asked what I am laughing at but I could not tell her, she just would not of got it.
I am guilty of so many of these, I remember my MILs partner looking at me like I was totally crackers when interrogating him about the freshness of the freshly boiled water!
When DS1 first spent the weekend with MIL at 5 months I wrote in Excel a detailed itinerary that was printed and laminated! I was concerned that if she spilt her coffee or anything else on it and it was illegible she would be at a total loss the entire weekend as how to care for my boy! The itinerary was so anal it even had instructions as how Id like and exactly where Sudacrem was to be applied. Sado!
When DS2 had his first weekend without mom & dad he was delivered with a grunted, Everything you needs in the bag and you know the score, bye.
I love the idea of the nightvision function on a videorecorder -- if only I had thought of that I could have slept in the dark all these months instead of using a nightlight!
My PFB is 13 mo and I still poke her sometimes to make sure she's breathing... Are we out of the woods on the SIDS thing yet? I think so but can't stop checking to make sure she's ok...
The MW said that she was exceptionally pretty. I believed her and was beaming about it for weeks. Do you think she says that to everyone?? Looking at the photos now, I'm assuming she must!
Used to take dd along religiously every week to be weighed until the health visitor failed to keep a straight face one day & suggested perhaps weekly wasn't entirely necessary for the Fuller Figure Baby!!!!!
When my dd1 was born she was so swollen I thought she only had one eye, I can remember thinking "oh poor thing, I'll still love you." Thankfully I didn't voice my concerns.
I spoke to the HV about my DD1s blinking - her eyes wouldn't shut and open at the same time
I still worry about filling up with petrol. I don't want to leave my children in the car alone just in case there's a fire and no-one could get them out
Am I a complete lunatic?
HM, dh did that last week as well and we didn't realise until i noticed blood over the car seat harness. And last night i forgot to turn on the monitor whilst we were downstairs having dinner -
I like the saying from earlier - love them like they're your first and treat them like they're your second.
This thread made me laugh so much that I had to immediately join Mumsnet!
I am a new mum to Zoey, who's 3 months old, and I recognise so much of me in this thread! When she was three weeks old a friend asked how much water I was giving to her in addition to formula and I cried for a whole day as I didn't know you had to give extra water and was convinced she was dehydrated... and today after speaking to one of my mates who was off to a baby & toddler group I had a complete panic attack that I hadn't joined one yet... then I read this thread and felt normal again!
Thank you all for making me feeling so much better!
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