Oooh can we have a thread about things you said and thought about your Precious First Born which make you blush looking back on it(314 Posts)
My PFB is only 7 weeks old, so not able to laugh at myself yet (she's ^so advanced^ she'd probably sit up in her pram and ask me what's so funny). She is also PFGrandchild and PFniece though and I can laugh at my sister. She was chatting up some guy in a club who was telling her how clever his niece was, Sis insisted her niece was cleverer eventually slammed the drink he's bought her on the counter and stormed off, fumimg at his lack of understanding. I was only 7 months pg at the time.
When we came home with our PFB, he slept in our bedroom, and we spent THREE whole days in this room, without leaving AT ALL. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed with DH, dinner on our laps...
We took turns watching telly in the living room in the evening.
My mum came to rescue us after 4 days .
We then spent a YEAR saying: "Can you keep an eye on him while I go to the loo!", and "Keep an eye on him while I put the kettle on" (even though with loo door open you can see the whole (obviously baby-proved) living room...
Also, My DSs are most beautiful, still now!
Im wondering if any of the ladies that were currently pregnant and were worried they too would have PFB behaviour actually did? Im betting they had the most beautiful babies on the maternity ward and they were obviously very advanced! This is a great thread!
i have a photo in one of the zillion albus labelled "her first plaster"
i lost count of the number of times i threw off the duvet in the middle of the night, snapped the light on and woke dh telling him i'd lost her in the bed to which he invariably replied "she's in her cot , you daft bat!"
Eek - this certainly is a blast from the past. I was telling my friend about what a LUNATIC I was with my PFB.
Dp's dad came to visit me every morning AS SOON as the ward opened so I could go to the loo and have a shower.
In our defence Baby Alex, was kidnapped from her maternity ward a few weeks before.
I rang NHS direct as DD's poo was a bit Green
Am was very proud of apgar scores.. 10,10 and 10 and 9,9 and 10
not bad considering my 2 were very premature.
yeah !! [big head]
I remember thinking DD was a genius before she went to school. Then when she got to school she was one of the bright kids, reinforcing my delusion. Then she got to Y3 and it all evened out. She got some great scores on the SATs, some perfectly average ones.
She's a good kid, bright as a button, but genius? Gifted? Talented? Er, no.
In my defence she memorised books with lots of pages and words at the age of 3. Could look like she was reading them, but was just being a shakey-fakey.
She's still my PFB (OB - Only Born) though, so I'm still neurotic, obsessed and delusional about her
Ah, but my 3 1/2 week old PFB DD actually IS the most beautiful baby in the world
Got so obsessed that the bedroom should be completely dark that we had black out curtains, plus a black sheet and a purple throw hanging from the window. The room was so unbearably dark it was like living in a cave!
I'm still doing it now, with my second born! I shouted for dp to come quickly today as i was sure she must be a genious. She was in the bath picking a scab on her knee and she said very clearly (she's not yet 3) 'i will exacerbate it'
I asked her to say it again and she said 'ex-acer-bate'. and i said 'OMG, DP, COME QUICK, DD2 IS A FRICKING GENIOUS!'
and dp came in looking bored and slightly cross as he was busy looking at something, and said 'what?' and i said 'dd, say it again!' and she looked blank. And i repeated it and said 'dd, what does 'exacerbate' mean?' and she said, 'well, i think it is a flavour of boy'.
And dp wandered off again and dd won't repeat the word. She said it though, she did!.
Oh god, I've just blocked the whole thing out.
Pontificating on parenthood to people with many children, many older children, and to my own parents. Instructing experienced parents how to hold his head juuuuuuuust right. Oh god I feel my sphincter clenching as I type
My child will never .... was a particular favourite.
And the changing of clothes, every dribble - new outfit. Every nappy change - clean clothes. Health visitors every week to be weighed and measured...
When ds2 was born he got clean clothes when his were so crusty you could no longer bend him, and the health visitor saw him about 3 times in 5 years!
I do remember thinking that the fact the midwife commented on dd following the light was a sign of her superior intelligence. she was about 10 days old. w.t.f.
that at eight months he was far too young to be left withn anyone but me even for an hour!now he wont stay with anyone and ive not been out for years silly silly twaty me,oh and an hour out of hospital announcing that he never crys.......again silly me
the thing that really makes me blush was visiting some friends - for several days - when dd was about 4-5 months. I thought the whole world stopped for newborns. My friends had an 18-month old (who looked HOOOOOGE), one at 3 and a half and one at 5 and a half. and i just thought she was expert mum, that her whole life was sorted and easy because she knew what she was doing, wasn't breastfeeding and the kids all slept through the night. I have apologised so many times since. she's lovely and laughs and promises me she didn;t think I was a pita. she's a real friend
I'm just bumping this thread as it was sooo funny, for anyone who needs a laugh!
I would actually get upset if I went out & no-one complimented me on my lovely baby (I got very used to compliments). He was and still is beautiful though. So is DS2.
schment they mean it when the say these things-midwives i mean.
when i had ds1 our midwife said to me that she saw babies every day but that ds1 was really special-she was going on leave and another midwife would be continuing our care and she said it was a good thing really because she was getting a little too attached to him.
please don't tell me that was fake and something she says to everyone?
OMG I have laughed so much at these, the tears are rolling down my face, a childless colleague has asked what I am laughing at but I could not tell her, she just would not of got it.
I am guilty of so many of these, I remember my MILs partner looking at me like I was totally crackers when interrogating him about the freshness of the freshly boiled water!
When DS1 first spent the weekend with MIL at 5 months I wrote in Excel a detailed itinerary that was printed and laminated! I was concerned that if she spilt her coffee or anything else on it and it was illegible she would be at a total loss the entire weekend as how to care for my boy! The itinerary was so anal it even had instructions as how Id like and exactly where Sudacrem was to be applied. Sado!
When DS2 had his first weekend without mom & dad he was delivered with a grunted, Everything you needs in the bag and you know the score, bye.
I love the idea of the nightvision function on a videorecorder -- if only I had thought of that I could have slept in the dark all these months instead of using a nightlight!
My PFB is 13 mo and I still poke her sometimes to make sure she's breathing... Are we out of the woods on the SIDS thing yet? I think so but can't stop checking to make sure she's ok...
The MW said that she was exceptionally pretty. I believed her and was beaming about it for weeks. Do you think she says that to everyone?? Looking at the photos now, I'm assuming she must!
Used to take dd along religiously every week to be weighed until the health visitor failed to keep a straight face one day & suggested perhaps weekly wasn't entirely necessary for the Fuller Figure Baby!!!!!
When my dd1 was born she was so swollen I thought she only had one eye, I can remember thinking "oh poor thing, I'll still love you." Thankfully I didn't voice my concerns.
I spoke to the HV about my DD1s blinking - her eyes wouldn't shut and open at the same time
I still worry about filling up with petrol. I don't want to leave my children in the car alone just in case there's a fire and no-one could get them out
Am I a complete lunatic?
HM, dh did that last week as well and we didn't realise until i noticed blood over the car seat harness. And last night i forgot to turn on the monitor whilst we were downstairs having dinner -
I like the saying from earlier - love them like they're your first and treat them like they're your second.
This thread made me laugh so much that I had to immediately join Mumsnet!
I am a new mum to Zoey, who's 3 months old, and I recognise so much of me in this thread! When she was three weeks old a friend asked how much water I was giving to her in addition to formula and I cried for a whole day as I didn't know you had to give extra water and was convinced she was dehydrated... and today after speaking to one of my mates who was off to a baby & toddler group I had a complete panic attack that I hadn't joined one yet... then I read this thread and felt normal again!
Thank you all for making me feeling so much better!
Not read all the threads but I went through just about all of these with my two. In fact I still sometimes sit on the toilet seat to warm it up for a few minutes, after ascertaining from my 4yo that he needs to go for a poo..... (he so hates to sit on a cold seat that it puts him off...used to result in an accident, but why am I still doing it???)
You are all mental. I did none of this. Of course I'd leave DS1 upstairs asleep and come downstairs when we'd just brought him home
Mind you, I did cut the top off his finger when I was cutting his nails when he was about 8 weeks old. I sobbed "I've never seen his blood before and I wouldn't have done yet if I'd not been such a bad mother" fgs. (Ignoring the fact I had seen his blood when he had his heel prick test.
I was a bit obsessed with weighing but I liked talking to people at the clinic.
Ringing for the midwife a couple of hours after dd was born. I was in a blind panic because she had hiccups...
God, I must have been a really "uncaring" mother. The only thing I can think of that's on this list that I did was to record how long he fed on each boob and at waht time, and when/waht bowel movements he had had. But then - he'd had jaundice and then wasn't gaining weight, so I was actually advsied to do this by the Breast feeding specialisats at the hospital.
I never had any problems going to the loo - or even having a leisurely, lavender oil infused (for healing purposes of course! ) bath - and leaving ds in his crib (fed and changed, so if he did cry, I knew it wasn't anything serious) - from less than a week old - ie as soon as I go home (which was at 5 days, 'cos of the jaundice).
The only thing I can think of is that we did keep the cats - who were used to sharing our bed, out of our room while ds slept in the crib beside us, and out of ds' room, when he transferred to the cot.
Does being paranoid that if I gave him any formula mil, my own milk would immediately dry up count? . Certainly worked as an incentive to persevere at the breast feeding when the little tyke, sorry, darling, pretended to suck and wasn't actaully taking anything - hence the slow weight gain . Did succeed in feeding him for 13 months - and if I were able to have another one, would this time look at the baby rather than the scales. If he/she is happy, healthy and alert, who cares what weight he/she is?
Before DS was born had to move all our medicines from the floor level cupboard they lurked in - got quite obssesive about needing to do it. Of course newborn babies are well known for their crawling/cupboard opening skills. Ok a job that needed to be done but not for another 6-8 mths!!!!
These are soooo funny . Laughing my head off at work .
I remember really looking forward to taking my newborn twins to the baby clinic for the first time to be weighed and I spent ages dressing them up in their gorgeous little clothes. When I arrived I was quite surprised/shocked at the lack of effort everyone had seemed to make with their babies, they all seemed to be in babygros.
I soon realised why, when I spent about 30 minutes undoing weeny cardigan buttons and trying to get teeny tights on wriggly newborn legs, with a long queue of grinning mums behind me.
Oh, agree baby massage and any other classes that get you out of the house and meeting other people are A Good Thing. Apart from anything else, tiny babies (and older onese too) just like to be touched gently. Was just 'aving a laff at my earnest new mum self.
I developed an almost OCDish compulsion about sterilising with DS. I expressed for 4 months, as I couldn't bf & my routines resembled pollyannas. I used to have to wash every item of the expressing machine twice in boiling soapy water, because I was overcome with terror that there was bacteria I hadn't removed.
My hands were raw from washing.
Was definitely a first-timer thing as I didn't was obsessively with DD at all.
I now I bet you let him juggle knives don't you Pollanna! (Quote: Parenthood)
I was quite mad when I had ds.
I kept the flat at a steady 18 degrees evem though that was too cold (and every room had one of those mothercare thermometers)
at 6 months and 1 day moved ds into a room of his own (FSID guidelines)
nearly hit another mother when she called ds "placid" (mind you she did tell me how bored her ds was when he was 2 weeks old )
when I expressed milk, I sterilised the pump, then because I had opened the steriliser, I re-sterilised the bottle while I was expressing and sometimes, I re-sterilised the lid while I was putting the milk in the bottle. If I ever dropped a bit of the bottle/breast pump on the side, I re-sterilised everything (I was a bit obsessed with sterilising).
I massaged ds with olive oil every night with the techniques learnt at the baby massage class(in his lovely bath stand which we lovingly wheeled into the living room every night).
I was too ashamed of ds's apgar score to tell anyone (he was born with the cord round his neck, so wasn't very responsive) )
Oh I was pretty unhinged looking back.
My dh would video our pfb at any avaliable opportunity and show anybody who came to the house. Even I was embarassed that he didn't cut out the 20 mins of video showing the parent end of the baby monitor with the light going backwards and forwards as dd made cooing noises in her cot upstairs
For months I assumed that every time pfb cried it was because she needed her nappy changing...
I took mine to baby massage etc mainly so that somebody would make me a decent cup of tea cos I never got to drink a full one at home!
Was slightly surprised when I took ds (then aged 2) to Jo Jingles and saw a mum & dad there with a week old baby (who was asleep!)
I said I would never have an epidural.. women managed perfectly well without them for millenia and natrual was the way to fo!
Ha fecking ha! I screamed "GET ME AN ANAESTHETIST NOW!!!!!" repeatedly until one arrived and demanded immediate epidurals in early labout in subsequent child birth scenarios.
Not sure if this is exactly relevent but it sprang to mind.
That level pain is not normal, reasonable... or.... ethical!!!
I also remember thinking that every other mother in the maternity ward must be envying me because my baby was so much more beautiful than theirs .
I got in such a state about keeping stuff sterile. I had worked in a cell culture lab where something ceases to be "sterile" if it is even exposed to ordinary air. So if Ds1's dummy dropped out of his mouth (which happened about every 5min) I would immediately whisk it away and produce another, and when I ran out I would rush around trying to sterilise more while carrying him the whole time because he basically wouldn't be put down without a dummy for the first few weeks. It was a good few months before I realised that such caution wasn't entirely necessary .
Oh gOd, Mrs S, your children mirror mine. DS1 was v unpleasant for the first year. He cried non stop and always had an angry scowl on his (naturally handsome) face
DS2, however is a picture of tranquility. He sleeps, he smiles and is an all round good boy! (he's only 5.5 months thouigh, so there;s still time)
y bil and sil picked us up once when dd1 was 3 months old, was convinced pfb had to go in the front of the car, was extremely upset that they wouldnt let him cos sil gets claustrophobic .... of course they were right, he was in the back, with us!
I've been laughing so hard reading these! Of course now that I know "better" I'm warning everyone to let me know if I get crazy when the time comes...
I do recall my step sister royally pissed my father off when she had her PFB. She wouldn't let him hold the baby because he "didn't know how." This after he raised his six siblings and had two kids of his own. My father STILL holds it against her but to be fair, her PFB AND her PSB are in their teens and she STILL is an anal retentive pain in the butt about them. God forbid they should take the bus alone. The boy is SEVENTEEN!
Mine is now 8 weeks old and so far...
went to baby rhyme time at the library at 2 weeks.
joined up to library and took out books at 4 weeks - read these to him (ie show him the pictures) at least every other day.
went to singing classes at 4 1/2 weeks (had been planning to wait until 6weeks but happened to be passing and he was awake - have gone back every week so far!)
took him swimming at 7 weeks (am taking him again today as he seemed to really enjoy it, the big bath at home is just not the same!)
Just about got over my waking in the night convinced I have sufficated baby when he is in the cot - I have fallen asleep once when winding and drifted off whilst feeding once as well so guess these panics are slightly justified!
Re: shaken baby syndrome - at 6 weeks we went jogging as a family (dh pushing pram, no way i'd have the strength) - have decided now this prob wasn't the best thing to do and will wait a couple of months!
Plus am signed up for baby massage / yoga and very much looking forward to it.
Am sure there are other things I have done that people think are crazy.
Right, ds has fallen asleep just as his schedule says he should so i'm off to sleep too!
If I was visiting anyone with pets , as soon as I got home I had to take all his clothes off and completely wash them all even his coat and wash him to get all those animal germs off him.
I would not let my brother hold him as he wore rings and they might scratch the baby and would not wear any myself.
I bleached my kitchen every night
I would not put him down, and would not let anyone help
MMm.. some of these things I still do now he is 7
In the late stages of pregnancy with dd1, I went out and bought white card and a black marker pen and prepared lots of handmade flashcards for her
I enrolled her with the local library when she was 2 weeks old. (DD2 is 21 months old and still hasn't joined, she just shares dd1's books.)
When dd1 was about 3 months old, I took photos of her every 10 minutes all day to illustrate a 'day in the life of dd1'.
I'm PMSL at this thread, yet I know I'm going to be the most over-protective, hysterical mother for the first few months.
Maybe I should copy it into a Word Doc and refer back to it for a sanity check after I've had this baby.
Sorry MrsS xposted my flippant post before seeing yours.
Although if they're a nightmare it's sometimes even more imporatnt to go out
I took PFB to music group, swimmimg lesson, baby massage, gymfants....I think that was it..
All you first time mums ignore this thread and do it, and then laugh at yourself in 5yrs time.
It a sign of enthusiasm (Ok over enthusuasm) but that's a good thing.
Besides you've got to do something with the time, and you always go for a coffee after
I didn't really like my first born - called her the Howling Orange Faced Fiend, and probably wasn't very nice to her. In my defence, she wouldn't sleep and fed every half hour, absolutely enormous amounts (12 oz EBM a go at 10 days old) so I was very drained, in every sense of the word.
DD2 used to sleep all the time, wake up, eat small (ie normal) amount every four hours and go back to sleep again. She slept through the night from 5 weeks. She never cried and was always lovely and smiley (DD1's normal expression for the first 3 months of her life was a glare). I asked the health visitor if she thought DD2 was "normal" or "perhaps a bit slow mentally".
DH has just suggested I take our 17 week old to Caterpillars (a music and movement group) for 0-18 month olds.
The only movements she makes with any predictability are mostly contained in a nappy and her response to music is to go to sleep (yes lovely but I don't want her to sleep all day and stay up all night thanks all the same).
Also, am I the only one to get hyper stressed the day before her immunisations about the possibility of anaphalactic reactions and watch her like a hawk for the next 24 hours, interpreting every whimper as the sound of a baby struggling to breath? She cried for about ten seconds (placated by the magic of mummy milk) when she had her shot last Friday, I cried for hours AND wanted to punch the doctor for hurting my LO!
Took 2 month old DS1 to join the library. Reading to babies is so important you know.
Rang NHS direct as 2 week old DS hadn't done a poo that day.
laughed at "ringing mw when baby had cried for 2 hours", tne dh kindly reminded me that i made us go to a & e on a saturday! night when ds had bad colic, "in case it was something really serious". still he had a good ncheck over by the doc.
I remember having to take DS1 to the loo with me.
I also remember not being able to leave him in the kitchen in case a sharp knife leapt from the drawer and injured him.
I obsessively checked his breathing and temperature.
I changed his nappy every hour (it cost a bloody fortune)
And I was obsessed with his fontanelle.
Luckily all of my own personal pfb experiences have been mentioned on here already, but nothing beats my dh's ex-wife telling his mother that she couldn't change their dd's nappy because her tetanus booster wasn't up to date
Definately worth trying all the baby massage etc as long as its with an open mind. I went to a combined baby massage class and Mummy Yoga. The babies had their massage then when they were relaxed (yeah right) we did a bit of gentle yoga. My DD nearly always slept when it was the massage bit and yelled when it was my yoga bit. Whilst she was sleeping during the massage the teacher suggested I did some extra pelvic floor excersices. I wanted to stick pins or pinch dd to wake her up so I could massage her, sod doing EXTRA clenching or whatever I was meant to be doing . But I went with girls I had met at my post natal group and it was a real laugh. Doubt DD gained anything but we all had a giggle so worth the experience.
look anything that gets you out of the house and meeting a whole new set of women who are in exactly the same position as you, ie getting used to their new role as a parent, is fabulous. With or without the added benefits I would strongly recommend building a network of friends you can go out with, hang out in each other's houses and share stories and experiences
so don't discount baby massage and yoga and even weaving lentils into nappies .. if it attracts you as a new parent then it will most probably attract other people you would like
when you become a parent you get the chance to make lots of new friends - something that isn't that easy since you left school
and be mad, happily
oh but baby massage
its nice, imo. but doesn't actually help with sleep or anything
fun as a parent-child bonding session. Also cos you get to meet other parents with perhaps, ahem, similar views. This is NOT to be dicounted, its important
Pretty useless though for anything else
we're laughing about it as a shared experience though
it is something you go through, its part of adjusting to being a parent, I think
sometimes, yes, you go too far, but thats cos you're learning to do the job
so don't worry. you will have pfb moments, its unavoidable.
The other side to this is every parent has done it, its normal!
First time pregnancy here too!
As far as I'm aware baby massage and baby yoga are good ideas, if only because my baby massage instructor said it helps them to sleep. I suppose when the baby's your 2nd or more you just don't have the time to go to these things!
I have to say I've wondered about leaving the baby in the moses basket while I nip upstairs to get something? I can't really understand the problem with it but maybe I will in May!
I'm with you MrsHarry, a bit bewildered! I was intending to go to baby massage and baby yoga (if only just for something to do) when this one is born. Are they so bad or just a sign of naivety? And I kinda thought you shouldn't leave the baby for a shower and the loo etc. if only because they'll cry otherwise...
Even though I'm laughing as I'm reading these, I'm secretly thing ooh that's a good idea. I don't think there is any getting away from PFB moments, I can pretty much guarantee that despite reading all these post I WILL be doing every single one of these!
These are all excellent.
My DH worked with a woman who used to constantly go on about how advanced her grandchild was and how she was doing things well ahead of time to which DH replied, ''d be worried if I were you, if she keeps it up she'll be pregnant at 16!' Apparently that shut her up!
Have to say I'm glad to see that this is a PFB is something that we all go through and I'm not completely mad!
So, just to be REALLY clear on a few things (am expecting PFB in June...)
Can you go to the toilet and leave PFB on its own in lounge? I thought this would be tantamount to child abuse! What about if your visit to toilet turns out to be longer than you expected....???!!
Don't you have to take baby into bathroom when you have a shower so you can see what they're doing????
Oh, and I really thought baby massage was a good thing, for encouraging 'calmness'. Is it just mad behaviour??
Bugger, I really thought I'd got my post-birth behaviour sorted....what do I know??!!Now think I'm in danger of complete madness...Help!!
I've never had a pfb but this thread is making me rofl and now I'm seeing some maternal madness from my maternity nursing days in a new light:
When I agreed (as you do) that one lady's pfb was indeed, the loveliest thing I'd ever seen, she had to tell everyone - "He's soooo adorable, even the maternity nurse who's looked after hundreds of babies (a slight exaggeration) says he's the best baby she's ever seen, so we know it's not just us." Her family must've thought I was as barking as her.
I had a full set of instructions on how to look after a newborn - including the best way to load the washing machine, I kid you not - from one lady who had employed me on the basis of my years of experience in baby care.
Mum of 2 day old pfb: "Ooh! He knows his name - watch him when I call him: David! David! See - he blinked and looked very thoughtful." I can only suppose what she decided he was thinking because the next day they changed his name.
Peachygirl, it is a completely different matter to make a chart if there is good medical reason - with my DS we were requested to do it for WEEKS by the special care nurses, both in and out of hospital - so don't feel bad about that, if you want to be PFB it will have to be about something else!
I would have thought cods post was mostly cut and paste!
Congratulations on you pfb!
I know my time PFB will come..
This thread is so funny
I am laughing so much it is making my C section scar hurt.
My DD is only 4 days old and so far I hope I have been quite calm BUT.. when told in the hospital I had to get food into DD one of the reasons I was so reluctant to do it (beside wanting to BF)was the vileness of the disposable teats.
I am about to make a chart to track her feeding ...but she was dehydrated and a bit jaundiced
I'm amazed that the post from cod has impecable spelling and also amazed no one else picked this up!!
"Ooh, look, look, ds2, a helicopter, look!"
"He can't focus past about 6 inches, dear..."
"But it's a helicopter!"
Good to see men aren't immune from newborn induced psychosis!
PMSL Liath. Mind you, dh got all excited when the air ambulance turned up at the hospital and insisted on pressing ds's face up to the window to see. When he was one day old. And that was ds2, not even the firstborn!!
Just been taking dd for a walk round the park and saw a CLASSIC piece of PFB behaviour (although in a rather sweet way ).
Saw a woman pushing a pram - she stopped to pick a crocus, then held it under her baby's nose to smell! Had a squint in the pram as I passed - the baby was a couple of months old at the most, definitely looked distinctly uninterested in smelling flowers, anyway!
Well I think I'll get the prize here! In most aspects we've been pretty normal except one....
DS1 has always been a keen basketball player and (in our defence we were told he was talented) One year when he was about 14 i sent a round robin out at Christmas saying that he had been playing for the county team this year and that we had high hopes that he would play for Greece one day.
A couple of years later I compiled a whole file on info about getting basketball scholarships to US universities.
Now he's almost 18 and hasn't played for the last year.
We were VERY precocious about his abilities!
I lived in the UK when my babies were small and am now living back in the States. These shopping trolley covers are EVERYWHERE over here. Sad to say, I would have rushed to buy one had they been available .... anything to protect my little ones from stranger germs . I mean, you never know who has been picking their nose whilst shopping.
God I am guffawing at some of these - they are PRICELESS
When I was on my 1st maternity leave I sent an email to a male gay friend of mine detailing dd1's routine for him in the minutest of detail. How he didn't bounce it straight back to me with 'WHATEVER' written all over it I don't know.
I also used to have an emergency plan for when I walked into town with dd in her pram; that is to say when a car lost control on the ring road, how I was going to push the pram into a bush trying to keep it upright and throw myself in the car's path.
I am mortified when I also remember throwing death stares at friends of MIL's who'd held dd when I was out of the room and had given her a teaspoon of custard when she was about 10 months old. CRIIIIINGE
Oh yes, I've just been reminded of those first few weeks when I woke in the middle of the night convinced I'd squashed DS (who as you all say was asleep in the moses basket). What IS that all about?
Just popped in to say I'm glad to have made both quote of the week AND Mp's talk round up with my confession about the stairgate for one step!
I remember my sister (childless at the time) telling my I was a neurotic mother because at my parents house I asked people not to flush the toilet in the night (bathroom next to baby's room) when we stayed there.
3 years later I felt very very smugly satisfied when she threw a wobbly at my brother for shutting a door too loudly when her DD was sleeping
Oh God, I certainly had it.
Check: Picture of DS labelled in his Year Book, 'The most beautiful boy in the world'. Now he is two, can see he looked like a boss-eyed, scabby, skinned rabbit in a bigger boy's clothes.
Check: No pushing the buggy over uneven ground in case of giving him shaken baby syndrome.
Check: Searching for him in my bed, convinced I had fallen asleep and squashed him (and yep, like all you others, found him in his crib next to our bed).
And just my own madness: I remember when DS was just a couple of weeks old, weeping into DP's shoulder that when the HV came over the next day she would report us to Social Services as our house was so messy, and they would take DS away...
I believed this.
Now PG with no2, so wondering whether hormones will make me repeat any of it
This thread just gets funnier and funnier!
My colleagues sister (who is stopping with them this week) has a 2-month old DS and she was telling me that her sister carries an 'egg' thermometer with her EVERYWHERE and completely freaks out if it turns slightly orange - to the point that they are all freezing in their own home!
hmm also had babys first xmas cards made with her photo smack in middle
and ordered too many so spent N ge finding old contacts to send to
gawd i'm an eejit
babysayshello.com is a fab website builder for birth announcements
i dont see anything bananas in using web to reach to pals in diff countries
oh dear i sent link to clients and work colleagues tho as well
a wee bit too far perhaps
i love this thread.i did so many stupid things i wouldnt know where to start.
the best one so far has got to be the night vision.pmsl
Oh this thread has meade me laugh so much - so much so that it is now 6.30pm, my 2 year old is sitting watching cbeebies and still has not had his dinner! (yes I swore he would NEVER watch anything on a TV except baby einstein) I did all of the things posted here and more with him - and am still doing some of them. Eg if dp goes out at night he has to have a full shower when he comes in at 4 am or whatever no matter how drunk as I don't want ds to inhale any of the smoke from his clothes (he doesn't smoke but pubs are smokey). I remember being devastade at 10 months when my bil gave him half a mcvities digestive that was NON-ORGANIC!!!! This is the worse though - we still use the breathing monitor on his cot even though he is 26 months!!!! To be fair, he is going in a bed this weekend and we will resist the urge to use it anymore. I am pg with no 2 and was fully intending to go to baby massage (again) - didn't realise how OTT that is ....
I think these things are normal and show that you love your child and want the best - you just calm down a bit after the first - got to be a good thing compared to the alternative horror stories of neglect you read about - by the way, I don't think reading to your child every day is terrible - I think it is admirable.
isnt there a dad who does this on here?
When we talk ds out for his first walk, I expected everyone to stop and stare as we walked past.
dh built a website for our PFB ahe emailed everyone the url this was nearly 8 yrs ago
Did anyone else have that strange feeling when they left hospital for the first time with DC1 of disbelief that the world appeared to be carrying on as normal? I mean, didn't they all KNOW that a WORLD-CHANGING event had just occurred? How dare they carry on with their normal business
mrsm by bil did this last year for my newphew who was born in feb.
PMSL at this thread.
I actually did a website for my PFB with her birth story, vital statistics, photos (including scan photos FFS) and I e-mailed the URL to everyone I knew. I would then post weekly photo updates on it as well as a diary written as if SHE had written it "this week I had my first swim" etc etc. How
To try to drag this thread back to its light-hearted original intention...
My aunt looked after her six week old granddaughter for a weekend. She was too afraid to put her down, even to the point of sleeping sitting up in bed with her in her arms!
Also, my own mother, meeting my (very very small and wrinkled premmie) baby, said that all the newborn fulltermers in the hospital looked horribly overgrown and obese. So it's not just new mothers! Grandparents get it too!
Can I just say, this thread has me crying with laughter!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you all so much
Texan - I particularly love your use of the night vision function on your camcorder.....classic!
well I've lurked for a long time and of course had noticed cod and her various names. But mostly I cannot decipher her appalling typing so ignore her many posts.
Cod is also as tactless as they come, so if you were offended, there was probably a reason for it!
ellceeell I had a 2 drink rule in our house. I had a strop at my sil dp after she suggested he held my dd & I knew he had more than 2 at lunch
That would be dh having the pint of beer, not ds
If anyone left a door open i would stomp towards it and close it - obviously my baby couldn't risk being in a draught.
I wouldn't let dh hold ds one evening because he had had a pint at lunchtime - so might not be fully in control of himself
TravellingontheClaphamOmnibus - can I assume you haven't been here that long? Cod is a mumsnet institution and is well known for saying it as it is. Don't take it personally she really is quite funny once you get the hang of her.
Lots of bonkers things posted here...why choose mine? FGS there are worse things to do with a child than taking him to massage etc.
No, he probably doesn't get anything out of massage or music lessons but it gets us out of the house where we can spend time with other mums and babies. All to soon I shall be back in work so I am making the most of it all.
At least I know it is PFB and can laugh about it...but this is a light-hearted thread and your comment regarding my post was a bit OTT I thought.
I taped black-out-blinds to the window frame so absolutely no light would come in. In the middle of the night, it was impossible to check if DD was actually breathing. So, I used the night-vision feature on the camcorder. I didn't actually 'record' her, I just used it to see that she was moving/breathing etc. How sad...
my sis is experiencing pfb syndrome. He is now just one yr old and she took me aside last time we were visiting her with our one 3 yr old dd( she lives in another country so can't do this often)and telling us that they had all found the visit a bit stressful because we just make so much noise.. and they like their house to be peaceful.
I CANNOT wait till he is 3 years old!!!
I also minded another baby whose mum would phone every hour while she was at work
"Has he had a bottle yet? Did he take it all? What do you mean no, he's x weeks old he should be taking x amount. What if he is dehydrated, or hungry"
"Has he had a poo yet?(this is an hour after she dropped him off). No, oh dear, he pood at this time yesterday didn't he, you said he did, and the day before, surely he should doing one at this time today"
"I'm just ringing to check how X is? What do you mean he's sleeping, you gave him his last bottle at 10am, it's now after 2, he needs his next bottle he needs to have them four hourly.. Can you waken him? Well what's he doing in the buggy? What do you mean you're going to school, it's raining . he'll get wet" I obviously had a raincover on said buggy.
The classic was when my DH came looking for me one morning in the work car. I had only had him a week or two. The child's mum had called the house, and my mobile, and not got an answer. I'd had mine in my bag, and hadn't heard it ringing. She phoned the guardroom of the base we were living on, wanting the RAFP to go looking for me, she was convinced something had happened to us, and they got DH. She had been crying and hysterical on the phone, because she hadn't been able to get in touch with me. Dh said we were probably out, and she replied "out, how can she go out with X, he might catch something?"
My Mum flew over from Australia after DS was born, and to thank her I found the most gorgeous photo of DS and had it blown up and framed for her to take home. She cried when she saw it. I thought he looked so lovely - not like those squishy spotty newborns you see. The other day I was going through photos on the pc and saw the one I'd blown up for Mum. DS looks exactly like those squichy spotty newborns! Now I cringe at the thought of the blown up photo on my parents wall! Now I know why she cried!
And I too remember feelimg so sad for all the other Mums in Mothers Group who had DCs far less perfect than mine, and also feeling guilty about taking my DD as she would show the other babies up ...course, in my case it was true
oh the shame.....
Remember WWW's one step and stairgate confession?
Well, we've got NO STAIRS and a stairgate....it just divides our lounge from our hallway, you know, reinforcement, because the door in the very same doorway wasn't sufficient safety measure. And there's an extra gate boxed up in the shed. Just in case. Oh bloody hell...
I'm already ashamed of it, especially since DS1 has taken to slamming himself between the door and the gate (which we always keep closed).
Tears in my eyes just typing this...!!!
So yes, I'm currently 6mo pg with number 2, maybe I should stop recording DS1's every meal, nap, and potty break now...(he's 11mo)
This is the funniest thread I have ever, ever read on Mumsnet...
i've just remembered that i also used to write down what time he had milk, what time he slept, and showed it proudly to the HV - i think she realised i was clearly insane and told me not to get so hung up on it... however next time i saw her she asked how often he fed and slept and i had no idea! LOL!
Oh this is embarrasing but i asked my parents and PIL when they looked after him to read to him (as i did) because it helped comfort him.
I only stopped when i realised his constant crying throughout it wasnt the result we were looking for!
My MW came around to our place the day after DS was born (we went home same day) and I was shattered. House in chaos, etc. Took me and DH nearly 15 minutes to clean his poo nappy and MW very sweetly enquired how the first night went. I promptly burst into tears, convinced that something was wrong with him because he didn't have a routine! MW, very calmly told me: 'Baby doesn't come with a routine dear, you have to put him in one'. .
DS was about 5 months when his little Mr, woke up for the first time. DH very proudly announced this to all sundry saying: 'That's my boy!'
DH took photos all through the C section - then i posted then to everyone I knew...friends, work collegues, everyone...I only realised how graphic they were when DH's brother used them in his lecture to his anatomy students on childbirth.
I carried dd over to the lady in the bed opposite me [who had just given birth herself] & asked her if she wanted to hold her
I washed every item of clothing everyone bought her before it touched her skin...someone in the shop might have touched them!
Also, every day, I sat & held dd from I got up... I grabbed handy meals so I could sit & eat with dd on my knee, I was never dressed when dh came home from work as I hated putting dd down.
After we had introduced solids to DS1's diet, his first poo was a very traumatic one, with lots of grunting and a very red face (as is normal!). DH started to cry because of the pain DS1 was obviously in, and told me we had to stop giving him solids. He should live on just milk because it was too painful for DH to watch him suffer like this.
Feeling very, very proud when someone said how good my two-week old baby was...in comparison to a 2 and a half year old who was behaving like a toddler.
I wince, now, as I remember how I eagerly agreed that it was probably all about the parenting...
Furball, that is very, very funny.
PMSL at these - the one about the detached retinas reminds me that I would go out of my way MASSIVELY with PFB in the early weeks so that I wouldn't have to push the buggy over cobblestones. I was convinced it would give him shaken baby syndrome....
My PFB was adopted so I really had no excuse however.........when my DD was 10 months old I went to a nursery to discuss a place.
I was told that they only had places for 18months and older to which I replied
"But she is very advanced for her age" and could not understand why they would not consider it.
I now PMSL at the thought of this baby trying to keep up with toddlers
This is so funny!
While I was pregnant with PFB I remember saying to my mum that my baby would always wear clean clothes and that I would never become one of those mums who didn't change their babies' clothes if it was only a little dirty. Obviously, I had a baby who was sick after every feed...
LOL at one of the posters Dh asking if he blinked enough!
Just remembered another one - when Ds was about a week old, during that VERY hot weather last summer so all the windows in the house were open - I was trying to get him to sleep upstairs in his cot for a nap and I got so stressed because the neighbours dog was in their garden,barking and there were kids on the street playing football - I had to really restrain myself going out and telling the children to shut up and to get my neighbour to take his dog inside - just to DS could have a sleep!
I also panicked during this time because the temperature in his nursery would not go below 27 degrees (not really surprising considering it was about 35 degrees outside) - I used to get so stressed to DH about how it was going to damage him blah blah blah!
The thing is, my mother's always told me what a fine head of lovely dark hair I was born with and how bald babies look odd.
I remember saying I wanted a baby with eyebrows and an inny belly-button. They just look wrong otherwise. DS1 was born with lots of hair (and lovely eyebrows), and sorry, but that's just the best way... bald babies best? tut tut!
Oh ghosty, I rememebr hysterically ripping all the covers off the bed, only for dp to point out a peaceful ds1, in his cot, where I left him.
DH told me that he would often wake up in the middle of the night to find me scrabbling around the duvet desperately looking for something, muttering, "Where is it, Oh god, where is it?" He would ask what I was looking for and I would say, "The baby, I can't find the baby!"
The baby would be sleeping peacefully exactly where I put him after his last feed, in his moses basket, next to the bed
I was terrified that MIL's gentle swaying when she held him the first time would cause his reinas to detach!
I remember saying to my mum after DS's first little tooth had popped through - oh. teething is not bad at all...I can cope with this.
Ditto sleepless nights - the 1st few nights of broken sleep I thought there was nothing to sleep deprivation...ha bloody ha...
<curls into tight ball and rocks quietly>
Oh my god ... am just reading some of these through ... I am ROFL
Absolutely PMSL at Wags wondering if her baby had eyes ...
When my DS was about 4 months old I went back to work and my SIL looked after him for 1 day a week for a term until he got a place at nursery.
I wrote 6 pages of instructions for her (including when to change his nappy) ...
She already had a child so kind of new the signs for when to change a nappy.
Bless her, she calmly took the instructions and every day she wrote a little diary for me to tell me what he had done, when he had slept, when he had his nappy changed, whether dirty or just wet .
We laugh about it now but I still cringe with shame.
I blame swmnbn.
I felt, with ds1, that bald babies were Best.
however, ds2 had rather more hair, and am now Torn...
edam... have to agree with you re. hairy babies. Dd1 was bald till she was about 18 months. Hairy babies just look 'wrong' (and baldies are more beautiful ).
I'm still displaying classic PFB symptoms!
1 I send photos of DS (now 4 months) to contacts in my address book
2 We go to baby massage and music lessons
3 I chose our nursery specifically for the spanish lessons
4 We have read a book together every day since birth
On the flip side I don't get him weighed unless he is having a jab.
i went through a stage of hoovering the room at night, i heard it sent them to sleep, and anyway in case he had asthma it would help! no asthma to this day, aged 12!
I always thought my ds was the cutest thing in the world. Imagine how stupid I felt when I realised one day she was a girl.
Remembered something else... ds was born practically bald and the hair he did grow was very fine and flaxen so he looked bald anyway. I honestly thought all babies with hair looked wrong and the really hairy dark ones were ugly. Particularly an NCT friend whose ds was a day older than mine who had long locks of jet black hair - she used to talk about how lovely his hair was and I'd agree politely while all the time thinking 'poor you, your son's a freak'.
Although looking back at the pics, her boy's long hair was quite startling. Never seen another newborn with hair like it!
of course my pfb was the only beautiful baby in the post natal group, found it really, really hard to be complimentary about the others. Very proud taking him to the library and grining inanely at the stoney faced librarian, a mother of an old friend of mine, was not in the slightest impressed! Anyway got some nursery rhyme books, he was about 6 weeks old..
to the GPs when he wouldnt stop crying, aged about 2 weeks, noticed these marks on him, that was where i had been holding him!
To the GP so many times, what a brill GP he was too, absoluely never laughed at me!
DH is much worse than me, the man still breaks out of the bed like a gun's gone off every time there is a sound from yer man's room. But the best - or worst - was when DS was a few weeks old and he asked me in all seriousness "Do you think he blinks enough?"
Did the whole "fed, left side, 8 mins, 2 min rest, then 14 mins right hand side, played 12 mins, held 4 mins" furtive scribbling thing. AND ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE THE TIME TO SIT DOWN AND DISCERN PATTERNS OF BEHAVIOUR
Ds was a big baby so I had the double whammy of knowing that all the other babies were ugly AND scrawny.
LOL at these, I am not as mad as I thought then. Changed ds every time he had a feed throughout the night, no matter what. Boiled water to wash his bum EVERY time so it would be sterile water that I was using. What makes this even worse is that then my dh would put tap water in it to cool it down (so then ....... what exactly was the point of boiling the first lot of water?) Oh and yes dh would get up every time he needed changing to help me. Actually, yes I think we both went temporarily mad.
OMG, this is thread is so funny.
DS was really jaundiced until he was about 5 weeks old. I recall gazing on him adoringly through that whole time thinking that he looks so tanned and healthy and genuinely believing his had the most beautiful complexion. I look back on photos now he looked the same colour as Bart Simpson! Why couldnt I see it?????
Not just the women though. DS must have been about 1 when he had a small bruise on his face for about a week. DH was panicking. To put his mind at ease, I suggested, if it made him feel better, to take DS to the GP. Which he did. He said it was one of the most mortifying experiences of his life when the GP gave him a are you insane, your child has a bruise! expression, no matter how much DH reiterated his concern about some terminal illness. Bless my DH!!!
Have done this with all three of mine
Kept them in moses basket beside me all day and in they evening just in case they stoped breathing for the first six weeks. Would also poke them every so often to make them wriggle just in case
Then would put them in our bedroom at about six weeks but would go and check them every 5 minutes, I kid you not, good exercise going up and down the stairs, after about two weeks, every 10 mins, then 15 mins, etc etc.
I still check DS3 (14 months) every 45 mins, DD2 (3 years) every 1hr 1/2. Only check on DS1 (10 years) once or twice through the evening.
Also have two baby monitors to make sure.
Is this about normal?
Whambam crying with laughter at your DS's sternum
ambercat, 5 pages for a baby is not bad, we had two pages of a4 to look after a cat once.
saltire, pmsl, you have reminded me of when i left ds1 with the childminder for the first time i gave her such detailed instructions on how to look after him it covered 5 sides of a4, how she kept a straight face i'll never know
Couldn't bear it when she grew out of 'the first thing she ever wore' ... so bought it in next 3 sizes.
Come to think of it ... I'm still doing that now!
Bought practically every book about what to do when re development. Not looked at them since she was 6 weeks. Learn more watching my Mum with her ...
Believed HV know best ... grrrrr ... that's a whole different thread tho ...
I remember taking DS for a walk in his pram every day, and pointing out everything we could see. This sounds ok, except for when I explained electromagnetic fields to him every time we walked past the electricity pylons, and the principles of radio telecommunications when I saw a mobile phone mast. He would have been about 8 weeks at the peak of this behaviour.
Needless to say, at 15mo, the commentary on buggy rides is more "doggy! There's a doggy. Big doggy. Doggy!. Nice doggy. Bye bye doggy".
Another mother in the maternity ward was a bit PFB in the first few days: she couldn't stop sniffing her baby and exclaiming to anyone who'd listen how much she adored the smell of newborn babies. DH and I had a sniff of DS and agreed he smelt of birth canal And I really did pmsl (should have done the pelvic floor exercises
When DS was around a week old, DH and I had stripped him off for a change, when DH goes "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT????" referring to something hard sticking out between DS's ribcage. I'm not joking, my head began to swim and i was going to pass out on the spot with the shock. We were convinced something had broken off was jutting out...
Cue mad dash over to my cousin who's a gp, and laid him on her kitchen table. I think i was prob going a bit blue at this point. When - to my eternal mortification - she goes, "Yeah, OK, OK. Well, that's, er, just his sternum".
Also, did the whole 'poor you with your dodgy baby. We got the best one. Easily.'
Was really surprised looking back at the baby pics a while ago, not only is he puce but he looks like someone had sat on him bless him.
I can't remember any PFB isms from when mine was bron. I have had a few from mindees parents though.
1 We have only sent 2 bottles, because the books say he needs to be fed every four hours.
2 We have carried him round in a sling/sat and rocked him in his baby seat every day since he was born - (that would be why he screamed the place down for the first couple of months of being left with me) and can you do the same? Also please don't leave him sitting in his seat if you go to the loo, take him with you, anything might happen while he is in the living room, on his own, strapped safely in his chair.
3 There are 6 nappies in the bag, please can you change him every two hours. That's what is recommended, that their little bottoms are kept dry.
4 You have got a stairgate haven't you? ( this was for a 3 month old baby)
5 You will watch him when he is sleeping to make sure he is still breathing won't you?
6 Can i just check your room thermostat, it has to be a certain temperture in the house.
I am thinking if there are any more
Wags - blame it on the hormones/pheromones! Not my fault - am very very sensitive. [[did I mention that of course dd was very sensitive too, well she gets that from me]]
I refused to put dd on our new sofa in case she absorbed carcinogenic flame retadants through her skin.
When breast-feeding went tits up and I stopped I consoled myself that at least it would minimise her absorbing all the toxic chemicals stored in my fat......!
We used to undress DS1, completely, everytime we changed his nappy (because the books always showed a naked baby having its nappy changed).
I remember sterilising a toy I bought from Boots until it melted in the steriliser.
I'd bath him in the middle of the night if he got a bitof poo on him (and then wonder why he wouldn't go back to sleep)
I'd bleach the kitchen in the middle of the night while I had a few spare minutes (while he was trying to go back to sleep) - and then wonder why I couldn't get back to sleep
I too thought he was the most beautiful baby in the world and struggled to think of compliments for my friends' babies when they complimented him, because I thought their babies were so ugly
OK Pooka, I will give you hairy, but funny smell.... funny smell, MY baby
I've done almost everything on here.
Came back from first post-natal group and told my mother that dd was really, truly, completely the most beautiful baby. The others were too hairy and just looked odd (sorry Wags - of course your dd was beautiful too ) (wags and I went to the same post-natal group so I'm being very careful and providing an edited version)
Went through a phase of not being able to stomach the newborn/baby smell of other babies because it was different to dd's special smell (which was of course far superior). So couldn't hold them without grimacing inside
Spent 2 days recording every feed, sleep, waking and proudly showed it to the health visitor when she visited (dd was 2 weeks). She look aghast, obviously noticed I was on the edge of sanity (by my sobbing I presume) and ordered me never to do it again.
Was absolutely loopy. Mad as a hatter. To my credit though, it didn't last too long and I do think that this is important human trait - would be pretty dire consequences if we didn't develop a fierce bond with our small babies.
DD was born by CS so I was in hospital a bit longer. When the Dr came round to do his regular checks after a few days I asked him to check if her eyes were OK. He did and looked at them and me rather blankly and said they were fine. What I didn't tell him was that I was worried that she actually had any eyes at all.... cos they were so sort of slitty and well... SHUT so much. If only that had been the case a few weeks later
Ahhhh yes now you remind me! I would only got to petrol stations where you could pay at the pump so I didn't have to leave DS1 in the car on his own.
I also remember being so upset that grandma took DS1's dummy out and dipped it in juice then gave it back to him that I rang my sister in a fit of rage. He was 6 months old. In my defence though he was still exclusively breast fed.
I pinned out duvet to the bed with kilt pins so that it couldn't ride up and suffocate DS in the night. I liked co-sleeping but didn't have the laid back nature it required. Ended up with ripped sheets instead where the pins got ripped out by mistake.
Ooh you've got me started now, although this was not me. DH refused to take dd thorough the back door at my mums on a Sunday because we would have to walk through the kitchen while lunch was cooking and that was dangerous. That lasted about 6 weeks. Lol.
Brangelina, we come from the same school of housekeeping and childrearing. I too think that an antibacterial wipe will cause instant death whereas the cat (who has probably just been out in the garden paddling around in his own poo) is a healthy influence.
2nervesleft - am ashamed to say I did the same re the petrol fumes and chemicals. I also wouldn't let anybody use wipes or soap on my DD before because of the parabens and other chemicals and was really careful what products I used in case nasty hormone warpers or cancer inducing substances ended up in my milk. I used that excuse to hardly ever clean my house as better a few germs than a load of floor wash, toilet cleaner etc.
In the same vein, I never sterilised a thing, exposed her to pets, toys from the floor etc. and boasted to everyone how healthy my offspring was when all theirs were drowning in snot for the umpteenth time (no doubt due to over consumption of antibacterial wipes )..
I've just remember, I use to make my DH fill my car with petrol because I couldn't take dd with me and leave her alone in the car because someone might steal the car (a fiat Punto) or steal her. On the other hand I couldn't take her into the kiosk to pay because I literally felt revulsion at walking her across the forecourt with all the fumes and chemicals around.. I secretly thought that I might cause her harm by touching her after I had filled up the car because the fumes would be on my clothes. Amazingly Dh agreed to this for about 6 months.
themildmanneredjanitor - did you maybe get mozart and einstein confused while he was still in the womb? I can see how that would have long last effects - maybe such as his reading age ONLY being 2 years in advance of his actual age!
Spent loads of money from gltc on health and safety products.
Got dd1 innoculated at 4 weeks which I wish had not done.
I thought the same about my DD when we were still in hospital . She really did seem to be taking in all her surroundings....
no she's not exaggerating. it's true. she has been much better than me at nurturing her childs talents.
it's my own stupid fault for not playing enough mozart and never buying a baby einstein video.
I think I remember boasting about dd1's apgar (10! since you ask) but I have blocked it out...
I went to see my friend and her new baby when he was about 3 days old and she told me that she could tell he was really reallt bright because he kept trying to look at things and was so alert.
I didn't say HE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING YET because I thought she would think I was jealous
Well apparently the general adult population has an average reading age of 11 - so your 6 yo ds1 isn't far off that!
(The other parent will have been exaggerating )
ok- i am having a pfb moment right now about my ds1 who is 6.
at parents evening last week we were told that he had a reading age of 8 years 1 month.was very pleased.
just been speaking to another parent whose son has a reading age of 11 and is having to provide his own reading books.
am now worrying madly that i haven't been doing enough with ds1,that if i was a better parent then his reading age would be greater.
do you think this pfb ever ends?
Just realised I got mozart and einstein mixed up
It's my PREGNANCY BRAIN
Maybe einstein played the flute in his spare time!
Yeah, I second the approval of Baby Einstein DVDs. They were brilliant for getting a bit of time to do dishes/hoover/ take a fast shower. DS was transfixed watching them and actually have never met a baby that wasn't.
Disney can send royalties for my endorsement to the following email address...
Didn't realise they were DVDs as well, thanks
Katy44, a normal CD is more than fine if you're just after the music, but if you're looking for something visual too I must admit the Baby Einsteins are great. I was sceptical initially, but when I saw my DD totally transfixed at 5m I was converted and bought some more. Seeing as you will want to plonk him/her in front of the telly sooner or later, it might be worth investing in a couple, also because normal cartoons or children's progs move too fast for very small children, whereas the BEs are geared for babies upwards. In the end they are value for money, DD still loves them at 18mo.
Try ebay for cheap ones.
Fennel, rofl at 'Magnus', to be honest that does sound a trifle odd! Good idea though, my mum gave me the best piece of advice (which has probably been around for a while) which was:
Love every baby like its your first, treat them like its your second!
In answer to the OP, one of the things I thought about my first born was 'FFS can we take him back!'And I really wanted to say it too. But it got better. After a few years.
I was just sitting here thinking that I never did anything that extreme when a shameful memory popped into my head. I took ds to a chiropodist aged about 6 months because his toenail had split downwards and I was worried it would never grow properly. To her credit she managed to keep a straight face. (He's my second child btw).
This thread is lovely - I can't wait until mine's born. Might come and post just once about how fantastic she is, then will keep it to myself.
Brangelina - definitely - that's what I'm expecting (although obviously a lot sooner than your DD )
What's the difference between Baby Einstein and just a normal CD? I have to say I got the CD very cheap, whereas all the similar stuff I saw aimed at babies was about 3 times the price!
And it goes without saying that my DD was much more beautiful at birth than any of her blotchy contemporaries, but then she lost her hair and looked like an alien so I sadly had to revise my opinion.
I still think she's amazingly intelligent, witty (!), cute and adorable though, and no one else's child even comes near.
I wept becuase I used the tumble drier and obviously would put the entire planet at risk by wasting energy and caue global warming putting dd1's future in jeapardy.
Also worrying that the salt in the saline drops for her nose would cause kidney failure
lol about the Mozart in pregnancy. I did that too, although I'm afraid soon got bored of it and reverted back to the Stones or whatever. However, when DD was about 5mo, I found a load of Baby Einstein DVDs going cheap and bought the lot, then subjected her to repeat plays of Baby Mozart (though more for my sanity and to enable me to go to the loo in peace than her mental development). If the theory about Mozart is right, then she should be a mathematical genius. She can now at 18m count to 3 in 2 languages, mind. Do you think that's a sign?
With PFB I kept a stupid chart for the first few weeks stating which breast DS had fed from at what time - OMG!
I play mozart to my bump whenever I can - do I qualify already?
In my defence it was recommended by the baby massage teacher (stop laughing!!) - she said it helped develop the mathemtical side of the brain. When should my baby know his/her 4 times tables? 6 weeks? 2 months?
PMSL @ all the poo monitors
I seriously thought DS looked like a small red alien
I was so proud of the fact that he was placid whilst all these other, patently needy and horrible, babies were screaming the cafe down DS would watch them in amazement
I insisted on everything being new and his nursery being decorated before he was born
and I recently read this on a thread from someone who has just had her first baby..
"I've taken to writing down in a microsoft word document every time she's changed, what was in the diaper, when she was
fed, and how much she ate. It's very helpful to keep track and is good for spotting any irregularities."
or maybe I was just neglectful
actually I refuse to allow my ds to watch teletubbies cause it's such shite
I remember reading a thread on here once, from a poster who had gone to someone's house and had got a book out for her child to play with, and the mum of the other child had had a fit bebecause it wasn't age appropriate, because it was only suitable from 12 months and her pfb's 1st birthday wasn't for another 2 weeks.
This thread has had me sat here alone in fits of giggles but very quietly you understand because my PFB is sleeping upstairs and I can't make a sound
When pregnant I said "we're never going to tiptoe around I want our baby to sleep through anything" now my DP has to get his underwear, shirt and trousers out of the bedroom the night before because I don't want him clicking the wardrobe shut And our DS is 7 months old But in my defence he is a very poor sleeper.... hang on I wonder if thats why?.....
i remember reading an article about teletubbies and that how bad it was that it was all baby talk and therefore didn't encourage babies to learn to speak, so refused to let ds watch it...however, i will quite happily sit there cooing and babbling away at him if he makes noises!
Gingirl I think we avoided PFB syndrome. We pretended dd1 was our second. She had an imaginary older brother, Magnus. And we only did things which we could also do if Magnus was around.
Hmm - does that sound weirder than having PFB syndrome?
northener - she was obviously colour blind!
I cried because the midwife during a home visit commented on ds's lovely 'pea green outfit'
It was Pistachio
oh this has made me laugh. I still only have one but i know i was such a freak. My dearest friend has just had her first and she phoned me yesturday and said' I know she is my baby but she really is so beautiful, i cant believe it' I went and looked at pics of DS who I said the same about and he looked like he'd been whacked in the face with a frying pan
was also freakoid about noise. so funny!
Should add - surely this is why everyone does it (has children I mean)!
I love this thread!
Pregnant with my first and I think the lesson I've learnt is I am going to feel like this, but should try to share my thoguhts only with DH!
Thanks jillyjonk, I suppose I should print this out and read it again two/three days after the birth... see if I think its quite so darn funny then!
Personally (as oldest of nine) I think I'll be ok, not absolutely sane obviously but bordering on it.
But my DH is youngest of two and has never really been around many children. HE will be the one who needs a straightjacket! I'm currently taking pregnancy in my stride, dealing with sickness, quite matter-of-fact about it all. My DH can't stop checking if I'm ok, telling me to sit down, and generally acting as though I'm made of bone china! Whilst I appreciate his concern, I wish it would extend to him doing his own ironing!
ROFL at this thread.
I too of course thought that my baby was the most beautiful/intelligent child in the world and was secretly sorry for all the other mothers and felt the need to make up for how ugly their babies were by telling them VERY LOUDLY how darling their eyes were or whatever.
At 2 weeks I went to get petrol and left DS locked in the car while paying. About halfway down the queue I panicked that he might have used up all the air in the car (WTF? he was tiny!) and went back to open the window a crack. Then, again about halfway down the queue, I panicked that someone might jemmy the window down further by means of the crack and steal my darling. So I had to run back again. Eventually I queued up with him. I think the cashier thought I was barmy. Which to be fair I think I was, slightly.
But someone beats me.
Just given birth, at the lady had a CS. In she comes with her trolley with 2 suitcases, 2 holdhalls, 3 rucsacs and millions of carrier bags. We had been on the ante natal course together so I couldn't help but ask why so many bags.
All the MW were chatting about the quantity of bags.
I seriously thought we were going to take her sailing - we have an unused baby lifejacket as testimony to this.
The shame of the PFB
I made everyone use the blue handwash from Milton before touching my baby at least for 2 weeks!
I had the temperature between 16-24 and even though my mum would be sitting with her coat on, I wouldn't budge on the temperature. I even asked the MW with a beaming smile, is my temperature ok (the house) and felt very proud when she said yes. She must of been rofl at me!
I made everyone wait for a cup of tea if I was boiling the water for bottles. Even to the extent that my mum brang her own kettle, get the hint!!!
Oh the shame, it's too funny
Haha this thread is hilarious....
I once wept furious tears because my mum gave PFB a chocolate button when she was 10 months old - I swore chocolate wouldn't touch her lips until she was a year old....
And even worse I insisted on inspecting EVERY single soiled nappy she produced to check that her poo was the requisite "sunshine" yellow of a breastfed - any green would send me into a tailspin. I even phoned my mum from our first post-natal trip to the cinema to discuss the contents of DD's nappy and fished several out of the bin when DP had thrown them away.
Yes I remember the changing bag the size of a suitcase with DS... with DD I'd stuff a nappy & wipes in a nappy sack in my
handbag & go.
DD was my first but dp's fifth so he diddn't really indulge any of my pfb-isms. I do remember him laughing when I was pregnant and declaring that my baby wouldn't be allowed to watch tv
I re-read dd's baby year book, OMG how embarrassing. I carefully filled it in everyday "She likes South American and Irish music" she was about 3 weeks old. I also looked at the photo of her first outing, you could barely see her as she had so many layers on. I also was very concerned about a hangnail that she had and told the midwife. I had her weighed religously, poor old ds has been weighed once in 11 weeks and I haven't even got round to buying a baby year book!
In the early days, i would put my DD on the baby bjorn to go to the loo (yes, every time) because i was convinced she would break if i put her down....
needless to say, the sheer tiredness of carrying her around - oh for the first 3 months, nearly killed me.....
DS learned to fend for himself from day 3
I remember a thread from a couple of years ago along the lines of "Why are my friends so obsessed with their children? It's all they can talk about". This elicited replies like "Yes, it's impossible to have a conversation with my friend because she has to stop every 5 minutes to stop her children drawing on the white sofa in my house" and (best of all) "we have bought a toy for visiting children to play with, and I call it the Mummy Sorter as it soon reveals what kind of parent someone is by how they let their child play with it"
And you've guessed it - all the posters were pregnant with their PFB
I think that person on the other thread who hasn't allowed her 2.5 year old out of soft-soled shoes yet may well be posting here in a year or 2
i remember being awake for ages when my pfb arrivedwhen she was several weeks old trying to remember how to do fractions. maths has never been my strong point, i was already worrying about the childs schooling and the maths homework... surely there were more important things to concern myself with?
seriously, pfb syndrome isnt necessarily a bad thing. i think its really the funny side of adapting to parenthood
When we first brought dd home she was slightly jaundiced. Mw suggested taking her for a walk in the sun because it would help. I was appalled that she expected me to venture outside with my newborn with all the pollution and germs.
When we did finally take a 15 minute stroll we made sure we took everything we could ever possibly need, resulting in a changing bag the size of a suitcase. FFS I even took cradle cap cream with me
One of my friends chopped up raisins for her PFB. I'll be interested to see if she does it for her second.
This thread has really made me laugh this morning .
I also took ds to be weighed every week without fail and I would delight in telling the checkout girls in Waitrose what centile he was on.
When ds was about 5 months old he had a little cough and I told the doctor that I was concerned that he had developed asthma due to not breastfeeding him long enough and taking him to a smoky bbq when he was 2 weeks old.
I kept a little notebook by my side for the first few weeks of breastfeeding and I recorded the time, which side boob I fed from and for how long!
I found the notebook in my desk at work (I don't know why it was there) when I was clearing out my desk when I left 2 years later. I showed it to my friendly colleague and pmsl.
Oh yes, I also had a feeling of irrational panic when DD1 was 2 weeks old that she didn't have any toys to play with and I think I rushed to TRU and bought something.
I cringe about how much DH and I used to fuss over her every little whim in front of other people. Every thing from feeding (yes breast!) and nappy changes required both of us to jump up from our chairs, scuffle around in our humungous changing bag, and treat DD1 as though she were about to have major surgery, and needed a team of staff to deal with her.
When she was about a year old, we were at an afternboon open house party and there was a couple there who had a two month old baby. How DH and I laughed about them both needing to jump to attention and administer the (useless!) infacol to this tiny infant.
my boys both got nines and the midwife said the policy is to never give ten because all babies will have at least blue toes or whatever.
i still have secret pfb feeling s about my son and he's nearly 7
When I first had DS I became an expert in everyone elses ability to raise children....
"I think her 3 year old dd behaves that way because she is allowed to watch TV!!"
"I would never allow chocolate to pass the lips of my baby when he is only 2.."
"I am sure that if you pay enough attention to your child, then tantrums like THAT will never happen."
This embarrassing and shameful self-rightousness lasted until ds was about 6 months old.
Now 2, DS can sing countless Cbeebies tunes, eats chocolate whenever he can wangle a bit out of someone and has tantrums at least a couple times a week.
when your baby is born you will realise that you, and only you, really understand how to parent properly and that we were all lesser beings
no you have to go through this, sorry
Am pregnant with my first...tell me, is there any way of avoiding PFB syndrome? Can read these comments now completely able to see the insanity (and pmsl at some of them).
When my baby is born will all these things suddenly become rational and reasonable?! Will being from a big family help? Or will I still want to leave DH for not holding the baby as I would?!
I cried because dd didn't have any books.
She was 2 weeks old.
Several friends had their PFBs within a few months of my PFB and sent emails around with pics (I had done it too). I remember feeling sorry for them that their babies were kinda funny lookin whereas mine was absolutely perfect. Looked at her newborn shots a few weeks ago (she's 13mo) -- nope, she was funny lookin too.
Waking up in the middle of the night and checking to make sure she was breathing. Repeatedly. I did that WAY TOO MANY TIMES.
Using a nightlight because I was afraid of the dark -- how was I going to be able to see if she was breathing!?!?
I remember declaring that "my baby should never ever have to cry"...
...and he is my third
yes, this is good
oh also-apologising to PFB. OOOOOOOh yes. OOOOOOh yes. Did that
fecking took picutres of him. Last Friday as only. Last meal as only.
Then dd was born and I forgot to develop the sodding film
My first thought when I first saw my firstborn was that he looked like a mini elvis with sideburns 'n' all
and how do i go about finding what ds' was?
It's when they check the baby over at birth - stands for something like Appearance, Pulse, G something, A something, Respiration - basically making sure baby is OK and doesn't need observation in Special Care. The midwife checks when first born and about 10 minutes later.
My second child got a ten I'll have you all know <ergo I am a fantastic mother emoticon>
Of course by then I was too shattered and realistic to care. That will be the same Neglected Subsequent Child who first finger food was those cat cheerios (eeek )
anchovy, there was a v tongue in cheek comment from a midwife in the weekend papers re: pushy parents/Apgar score envy!
Is this a recognised medical condition? It should be!
DD ws born in August 99 and on NYE millennium, Dh and I sat and gazed at her sleeping in her cot as Big Ben chimed away on TV, with tears in our eyes
I was obsessed with black out blinds. I would check the windows every night to make sure there was no light whatsoever coming into the room. This would involve closing the door and turning off the light to make sure it was completely dark.
I left my sister's house in a panic one day and told her the reason was because no new born should ever stay awake for more than 2 hours, it was really bad for them. I firmly believed this. Makes me cringe even now.
pmsl housemum at the thud yell bugger I forgot I left her sitting up! sounds familiar.
I remember when DD was born my friends said it was important to get them into a routine. For some reason we thought we should note down her routine at 3 days old by watching her. We wrote it down one night on a piece of paper which we kept. it went something like this:-
9pm 20mins left boob
9.45 15 mins right boob
10.30 20 mins on each side
ad infinitum for 12 hours
She just would not sleep all night every time she yelled, back to the boob - we though that was her routine.
It was only after we had a bit of sleep that we realised we were meant to impose the routine on her, not her on us!
We also kept her in a hat overnight (in September) because we thought she'd get cold, then read that they should never wear a hat indoors and cried for days that "what could have happened"
Oh and no one else could hold her right, feed her right etc etc.
I think I was like this with my PNB right until she started nursery school. saying to the teacher "she is the youngest in the class you know, are you sure you're treating her specially?".
DS born when she was at nursery school, at that point we just realised exactly how embarrassing we'd been with her and have switched to being totally blase about it all!
after hearing another's DS say "tractor" we spent a whole afternoon reading the same picture book, trying to get her to say SOMETHING!
THAT was the bloody womans name - thank you Housemum!!
I always thought I had the most gorgeous baby in the world - OK so I have 2 lovely girls but looking back one of them looks more like Phil Mitchell in a dress than a vision of loveliness...
That'll teach you for reading Miriam Stoppard...
This is hilarious!
PMSL at your baby potato Anchovy - I used to call DS "my little King Edward"
I was far far worse (I think!) before DS was born - I was in tears in B&Q car park because no-one sold cork tiles anymore and I had to have them as they were the perfect flooring for the nursery (or so my book said).
MIL took me gently in hand, having had weeks of the same nonsense and "had a word"
i have been recently crawling around on the floor to try and teach ds how to do it!
DD1 - I watched her like a hawk when she was learning to sit up, until she was about 10 months old she was surrounded by cushions and pillows. Wouldn't leave her alone in a room, took her up to the loo with me etc
DD2 - would wander into kitchen to make a cup of tea and - thud, yell - oh, bugger, forgot she was sitting up...
Filly, the term you're looking for is NSC - Neglected Subsequent Child
I told people about DS's Apgar scores as if it mattered.
Oh, and before I went into the hospital to give birth to DD, I sort of apologised to DS for the fact I was "betraying" him by having DD.
both my two could lift their heads really well at birth.
I made sure everyone knew this. I liked to drop it casually into conversation
now I am a jaded second time mother. Whats the official term for that then?
oh feck me
I made my dp tale dd to baby massage. She was my second!
BUT it did mean I got a nice coffee...
I did the baby gym too...and bloody monkey music, at 6 months
i still look at ingredients of everything i offer to 8 mo ds to check theres no salt, sugar, e numbers. why i bother i dont know cos its not like he puts any of it in his mouth let alone eat it!
took him to the doctor cos i thought he had a rash - it was exczema! in my defence i did have chickrn pox during pregnancy and was told ds could get it when he was born.
rang mw cos ds was grunting and i thought he had gbs.
took him to a & e cos he was breathing too fast. admittedly they kept him on overnight cos they thought he was too, but he is constantly like that so not very practical to do this every day!
when other people makes ds' bottles i always check they put fresh water in, however when i do it i just used whatevers in the kettle and hope it was fresh.
I (post c-section, still unable to move in bed) accused dh of breaking dd1's arm when he tried to change her little vest and ... she cried (I know, unbelievable).
I was also so determined that no-one else would look after my PFB that I set an alarm clock for three-hourly intervals through the night so that I could 'feed' her myself. She was very sleepy and would have slept through quite happily ... and I wasn't feeding her at all, I was putting formula (and eventually a bit of EBM) down her NGT. And I couldn't even do that on my own, as I had to call for a midwife to come and check that the tube was in the right place before I could put the milk down it, but I still insisted on doing it myself (even though dd slept through the whole process). I was also so desperate to get some EBM into her that I stayed up till 1 a.m. every night so that I could get as many sessions as possible on the breast-pump into every 24-hour period. Very commendable and all that, but honestly I'd have been a bit saner (and would probably have stood a better chance of producing some milk) if I'd had a bit more sleep.
I also remember taking her out for a walk for the first time and being paranoid in case someone walked past us smoking and also in case cars drove by pumping fumes into her buggy.
what a great thread! Love www's one stair gate !
I remember at DS1's 10 day check the HV commented that he had good muscle tone and I told her that he had been able to do press ups on my chest since he was born. I was so proud of this and I told anyone who would listen about his excellent muscle tone. I thought I had given birth to clark Kent lol!
i was mortified in a lift when someone said about ds1 he should be a baby model at 6 weeks and that she should know as she had had 4 children and non of hers had looked so beautiful. remeber though i was terrifed that i would have a baby that made people comment on its clothes or blanket rather than the child.
am pmsl laughing at these.
relate to lots of bits..
except thinking that my pfb was the most beautiful when he was born - i spent the first 2 months concerned that he looked rather like a monkey . now, however, it's a different story
Oh yes, baby massage, baby swimming etc all PFB activities, all done while watching the other babies to see how they compared to yours at vital life skills like rolling over, enjoying the water etc (inferior, natch)
Mind you I had to get out of the house a lot as being indoors did send me nuts.
I can remember when ds was about 4 days old thinking I would never be able to sleep again as I had to watch him constantly and actually beleiving that I could live without sleep. Cue 2 days later when I was hysterically crying that I couldn't cope when dp had to go back to work due to sleep deprivation. Had to get my brother to come and take me and ds home with him where he watched ds whilst I slept for an hour. I remember being horrified when I woke because ds wasn't crying (he quite honestly cried constantly except for feeds until he was 4 months old) my brother quite nochalantly said "he fell asleep as soon as I laid him in the basket". I then nearly threw a fit when he admitted to watching tv and leaving the room to go to the toilet and hadn't watched ds constantly.
I was slightly nutty for a while!
Yes, people 'remark' upon my 3 year old all the time....
edam, my baby massage class DID have one second time mother in ... but her older child was 13, so I think she was doing PFB all over again.
I'm really quite sad not to have similar cringeworthy stories, thinking your firstborn is a paragon among crinkly babies is really preferable to thinking they're a poor unfortunate with a completely mad mother ... but I'm all over that now and have a completely <i>remarkable</i> nearly three-year-old. Of course you can take that any number of ways ...
sending dp on a 3 hour hunt of the mayo countryside for organic baby rice as 'she can't have anything that's not organic... think of the chemicals!' (said in tones of mild hysteria)
dragging the baby bath in and out of the bathroom of our bedroom every single night to bath her and investing fortunes in baby bath products (ds gets dunked in her bath every second night and has never had any bath product poor lamb )
almost had a seizure when pil took her for a walk for the first time and amongst other worries shrieked at dp 'what if some filthy mongrel dog runs at the buggy and bites her?!' (said in tones of less mild hysteria)
pmsl @ this thread - you're all bloody nuts!!
I have been racking my brains to think of something similar, but can't... there must be something
LOL CB. I'm still like that now. I confuse everyone by asking is the kettle freshly boiled? (yeees?). But was it fresh water? (yeees?). But was the kettle completely empty when you put the water in? Oh dear I am officially VERY sad indeed.
Being worried about picking him up and cuddling him when he was crying on the FIRST night in case I was spoiling him FGS!!
I still think PFB things, (but fortunately don't say them) my latest was worrying if Ds was too intelligent for school (on the basis of him having 1 cello lesson).
Oh, I remember those special new mum glasses that make your own baby look perfect and every other baby look inferior... used to honestly pity most of the other mothers in my baby massage class. Esp. the ones whose babies were 4 months while mine was newborn.. they were just TOO DARN BIG.
Key symptom of being a precious first time mother is, of course, actually taking a newborn to baby massage classes...
Err, should read just remember being...tears obviously blurring sight
So funny, I have tears in my eyes! I just being immediately desperate to have another one almost instantly by Dh wouldn't oblige
Oh and during the evenings I put her to sleep in her moses basket in the lunge next to the tv in case she stopped breathing... No wonder she didn't sleep
At 5 dyas old with pfb I phoned the midwives as she hadn't done a poo that day.
At 2 weeks old I phoned NHS Direct because she wouldn't stop crying
Can you tell I hadn't even really held a baby before I had her!?
I rearranged my entire flat so that all ds1's sleeping areas were next to an outside wall as it was warmish when he was born and I was terrified of him overheating.
I too felt sorry for all those mothers with unmodel-like babies. And was convinced someone would try to swap him, so always slept facing him on the maternity ward.
I used to take him to the bathroom with me in a tiny one bedroomed flat, where, if I left the doors open, I could actually see the living room from the toilet! When I finally plucked up the courage to leave him in (my totally unoccupied and secure) the living room, I drew the curtains, to ensure nobody covetted his beauty through the window.
I was pg with dd when I announced to dh I would not be allowing the tv to babysit our precious children! I Would be playing with them and stimulating them!!
Fast forward>> 6 weeks old dd planted in front of the teletubbies every evening dh came home from work.
Also remember playing ball with dd when she was 3 months old! WTF??
who was it on here who burst out crying in the supermarket because there was a sign for 'sweet baby bananas'?
OMG, i can't breathe for pmsl at WWW - stairgate and MB..baby gym.
Lol at all of these
I went to have a look around a house with DD (approx 6 weeks old). Dear old biddy owners offered to hold DD while I went upstairs with estate agent.
On the way up the stairs I started freaking out that they were going to do something awful with my precioussssss.
Started looking around bedrooms, patently not listening to a word the estate agent was saying. Started sweating. Milk began spurting through breast pads and dripping down top. Agent asked pityingly if I wanted to go and get DD. Gratefully yelped YES (like I needed permission?! ) and ran downstairs to snatch happily gurgling DD back.
Was genuinely fantasising on the way home that they might have poisoned her. Felt compelled to strip her off and bathe her as soon as I got through the door...
<curling toes at memory>
highly embarassing (my excuse is that I probably had drugs still coursing through my system) - WHen I was still in hospital, saying loudly (so I am sure the whole ward could hear), 'oh we're so lucky with ds, I mean he's so beautiful. I feel sorry for all those others with ugly babies'
I cringe when I look back
LOL at these!
I remember shouting at my mum because I had boiled the kettle for my newborn DS's bottles and I was waiting for it to cool down and she had the cheek (in her house fgs) to come into the kitchen and switch the kettle back on to make a brew for my brother!!
I went ballistic screaming that I would have to start all over again after waiting for an hour for it to cool down - SO embarrassed about it now (7 months later)!! I know they recommend only boiling water once but I don't think he would have come to any harm
also went every week without fail to have her weighed
dd3 has been once, at 5 weeks. She's now 5 months!
I wrote thank you notes for various things, written from dd1's point of view
I cringe just thinking about it now!
I also used to play with dd1 on the floor at a few weeks old under her playmat, took her into the bathroom when I had a shower so she wouldn't be alone, ironed babygros and vests
lots of these things!
Was changing my ds nappy one day when he was about 4 weeks old and he peed straight onto his face AND HE LICKED IT OFF HIS CHEEK Became hysterical and made dh call the midwife to make sure he hadnt poisoned himself. (Have since read that some movie stars drink their own urine )
Also made dh ring midwife when ds ate some of the bubbles from his bath.
Needless to say, she hated me!
I used to lie under the baby gym with dd and 'play' with her!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why didn't I sit and drink a coffee while I could??????????
What a fuckwit I was!
I took ds1 to a nursery rhyme show for his birthday as I KNEW he was musical and I believed he'd recognise some of the songs and thoroughly enjoy himself.
He cried from the moment the curtain went up.
He was 1!
I know someone who refused (pre-birth) to have ANYTHING secondhand hand for her PFB. Now the ds is 8 weeks, she is gratefully accepting bumbo seats, clothes and toys after she checked her bank balance.
I used to put a fan heater on every time I changed his nappy to prevent cold breezes on his little newborn bum! Ahhhhh...come to think of it, I still do it when it's cold! (and he's 15 mo).
I remember spending about 40 mins explaining to my Mum how to look after my DD - like she'd never had a baby
I was overly paranoid about DS1 being cold. On a hot August day I took him out in vest, t-shirt, jeans, shoes, socks and coat. Poor little fella it was about 26 degrees. After seeing half a dozen other babies in just vests, i took his coat off.
Hey WWW your house has a purpose built 'naughty step'. How cool is that?
I would've done the same with the gate too though At one point our house seemed like Prisoner Cell Block H, just walking through it you had to clank in and out of about 5 gates.
"I like to remind myself that she's the only mum that asked all visitors to wash hands in antibacterial handwash before touching her firstborn"
Well, Tutter, not the only mum...
We had ONE small stair in our hallway
and a stairgate on it <<falls about laughing>>
Of course I thought he was the most gorgeous baby in the world. But more embarrassingly I was irrationally obsessed with hygiene and sterilisation, and when toys were dropped on the floor I used to put them into quarantine for a day or so before letting him near them again .
We came back from travelling Europe to have DS1, and announced to the world that our DS will fit into our lives, and we will continue to do as we have been doing..6 yrs later, I've nearly forgotten that woman, and NOTHING of my BC life exists!(except DP)
I remeber DS1 in hospital having to be wheeled through the maternity ward to go down to special care for medication, and feeling very sorry for all those others mothers looking at him in his transparent cot, wishing their babies were as beautiful.
Isn't it strange?? I can so clearly remmber this thought which seemed entirely rational to me.
In reality Ds was a scrawny poorly thing, but I thought everyone was so jealous!!! Even crossed my mind their insane jealousy may cause them to try and switch babies...so guarded him very carefully
It's odd, I don't remember doing anything particularly nutty about DD1 in the early post-adoption days (DD1 was 4 months when we got her). Of course we thought she was a particularly beautiful and clever baby, but nothing truly whacky. This supports my theory that any sane person would swiftly despatch a baby with a meat cleaver round about week 6 and that this rational impulse is constrained by a release of some mysterious birth hormone that renders mothers insensible to the incredible mediocrity of their own child, thus preserving the child until s/he becomes marginally bearable at about 4-6 months and the mother's sanity is restored. It's all about survival of the species.
I slept the wrong way up in our bed one night so my head was closer to his cot because I was CONVINCED he would stop breathing and I woulnd't know. And I was FURIOUS with dh for not doing the same thing - seem to remember berating him for his absolute lack of care, interest and concern in ds's welfare.
I now NEVER wake up when ds does - dh always gets up to him [shame]
I recall being panic-stricken when we took ds1 home from hospital because it was raining a little and he got a few drops on his face. Dh was so mean because he refused to call the doctor.
The best one I've ever heard is from a friend with five children. She said that after her first she realised it actually wasn't necessary to spend hours pureeing banana through a tea strainer.
ooh that reminds me of something another friend said about her ds
she actually emailed our local nct grou asking for advice on how to occupy her "exceptionally active" 9mo
was tempted to reply and mention my "exceptionally inactive" ds
i used to break out in a sweat when strangers touched them.
and i remmebr getting really worked up because mumil had bought ds1 some farleys rusks and i desperately didn't want him to have them and was trying to say so politely and ended up shouting 'they are not organic and they are FULL of sugar'!!!!!!
cue ds now-sitting chewing on a bag of piclked onion monster munch......
Was boasting about my ds being on the 75th percentile when a friend gently said, "ds1 was big too, I'm so glad ds2 is normal" Put me straight in my place
a slight aside
i have a friend who is constantly making me feel like paranoid first tiem mum ("did you really take him to the doctors? i only take my boys to the docs if their arms are hanging off" - that kind of thing)
i like to remind myself that she's the only mum that asked all visitors to wash hands in antibacterial handwash before touching her firstborn
<sticks tongue out at so-called chilled mum friend>
I can't remember the specifics, but I remember being really uptight about something really minor in my parent's garden when DS1 was about 5 days old.
I cringe at the memory.
This is funny! When in hospital with ds, in a fit of post-partum delirium, I seriously worried about how I was going to cope with the attentions of desperate model baby scouts, all wanting him and refusing to take no for an answer! I also thought he had some kind of healing powers and I would be doing sick people a favour by encouraging them to see him
And yes, I did all that, 'well, technically he's only three months, but I'll buy the six month babygro because he's so big for his age'. Cringe.
I thought you immediately had to join every baby thing that was on in the area. Nearly killed myself trying to keep up with that little notion. She slept though most of them anyway.
Also stood for ages outside Paultons Park with dh wondering if we should pay for us all to go in because 'dd would enjoy it'. She was about six months old!
Saintmaybe - tee hee, I did exactly the same. One of my mates had a baby very slightly older than DS and I said to DH that I was a bit embarassed and it felt a little bit, well, unfair, that DS was so much more lovely that her baby.
Looking back at the pictures of DS he looked like nothing quite so much as a large potato!
I seriously suggested to dp that I was thinking of seeing less of other mums when ds1 was about six weeks old as 'It must be really difficult for them to see him and not feel awful about how much better than their babies he is'!!!
He very kindly, and with a straight face, reassured me that maybe they might feel the same way...
Hilarious to look back at ds1's photos at that age, as he was the lumpiest, spottiest thing you've ever seen (gorgeous now, of course..)
I thought no-one else would ever love my dd1 as much as I did, including her father
I believed this with a passion until I watched him cradle her with such gentleness it made me cry.
Everything had to be brand new and clothes white (mind you that was my mum really who has a thing about babies wearing white.)
I had to have a Sangenic nappy wrapper.
I remember needing to go to the doctor with her and running horribly late because 'I have so much to sort out'<one small baby> and ringing the suregery and indignantly pointing all this out.
Ironing those little postage stamp sized vests. Well ironing everything really, even bibs.
Oh yes, I felt Major Shame that DD1 wasn't sleeping as much as other people's babies apparently were.
I did that stupid thing of not allowing ANYONE to make a noise when my first was sleeping (in my defence, she had reflux so I was SO relieved when she finally dropped off).
On hearing the postman's footsteps, I remember running to the front door like a woman possessed and yanking it open and virtually pulling the postman's hand off in the letter box so that he didn't slam the letters through noisily and wake her up. Wtf??!!
Now, next door has parties till 3am and I don't give a monkeys because they sleep through everything .
Gazing into my newborn baby's eyes
"I'm never going to get cross or impatient with you!"
I also love the threads on here where people rant on about appropriate behaviour in children, and how their precious darlings would never step out of line / say something cheeky / be overly silly etc - and then you realise that their eldest child is less than a year old!
Just about everything I said/did with DS1 makes me blush.
I was Anally Retentive in the extreme
Following on from the other thread which was veering that way.
My mum said she had seen a baby on the telly who was the same age as DS (three months) who seemed more alert than DS. I cried into a muslin.
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