Am i missing something?

(8 Posts)
happyfrown Tue 13-Sep-16 15:06:21

I was sitting over the park on my own with my daughter, its always just me. I look around and see other parents in a group or pair, but one group of mums in-particular are very lairy, loud and kids are spiteful (I know them well) they are kicking balls at peoples kids, pushing and mouthing off.
any way my thoughts, one woman I also know can over the park said hello to me ask how my dog was, 5min chat really then went off to sit with the lairy bunch.
I sit there thinking how do I go so wrong not or people to want to talk/ be seen with me? do I look wrong? talk wrong? I AM borderline and do find it hard to make eye contact and probably look uneasy but how on earth can a bunch of rowdy woman seem more tolerable?

not just that, my neighbours make it clear they don't like me. going in when I come out the garden or front door, yet the neighbour 2 doors down is loud, rude, calls her kids c**ts on a daily basis infront of my neighbours and everyone with good hearing can hear! they are best pals always out having bbq's, drinks. I just don't understand how that attitude or behaviour gets you friends / associates.

im not jealous, im curious. sometimes cry feeling like im from another planet. people must laugh seeing me over the park on my own all the time. I took my dc's for a picnic in the park once. I was only one sitting on my own sad felt stupid and I was so down, and bored.

im a quiet, non confrontational, kind person. don't know why ive been dealt such bad life cards sad

HarryPottersMagicWand Tue 13-Sep-16 21:19:42

There is nothing wrong with you. I find the loud mouths tend to find each other and they are very loud about it. There is a group like this at school. You can't fail to notice them because they are so ott shouting, laughing, swearing. I wouldn't want to hang around with people like that. Plus some seem intimidated and don't want to get on the wrong side so they befriend them, could be the situation with your neighbours.

No one will be laughing at you on your own. I used to think this then I realised that other people just aren't that interested anyway.

Does your DD have any friends that you can meet up with the mums? Suggest meeting at a park or something?

I'm like you in some ways. I have a bitch resting face I think and I think I can accidently give off "fuck off" vibes. I find when I do make friends or talk to people, they are always very surprised by me and how I am and the things I like. I'm not sure what they expect, I clearly get judged quite quickly. I suspect I have aspergers which doesn't always help as my mouth often engages before my brain.

happyfrown Tue 13-Sep-16 22:00:27

no I wouldnt go out my way to befriend them, I just cant understand whats so appealing?

my dd does have a few friends, I struggle with many mental health issues, self esteem and confidence so I do try to avoid meeting up with people and prefer to just ''bump into'' them over the park say, so I can go home when I don't feel comfortable. I would nt want to arrange something and feel I have to stay as ive arranged it.
I sound confused I know, in a way im not saying I want the neighbours to invite me to their get togethers - just to like me and say hello because im an ok person.

Klchi Tue 13-Sep-16 22:04:33

Read your post "I sound like you". I'm always say on my own etc and there's groups of mums around and like pp I feel like I give if a "fuck you, fuck off" kinda vibe. I don't know if cause I'm untrusting of people or whatever. Where abouts are you from?! Just thinking we could sit together alone lol

Klchi Tue 13-Sep-16 22:06:00

Hit post to soon! But like pp said. The loud mouths find each other! I may get stick for this but they are most commonly "as I've seen" the mire "common" types of people

HarryPottersMagicWand Wed 14-Sep-16 13:46:54

Klchi isn't wrong. It is the 'common' types that are like this and whilst I am no middle class person myself, I couldn't be like them.

What about suggesting a meet up at a park but giving yourself a get out? Like "do you want to go X, I'll need to leave at Y though as I have tea/activity etc to do"

I preferred going to people's houses for this reason as well. I reach a limit as to when I have had enough being around people and at someone else's you can leave, if they are at yours you have to wait for them to sod off grin.

happyfrown Wed 14-Sep-16 21:46:06

thanks I feel a little relieved that im the 'wrong type' of person.

just reading the words meet up made me shudder sad im not very interesting and think people find me abit dreary?

I do think people would prefer to be part of a mouthy group rather than be spoke about by a mouthy group... little do they know they are still 'spoken about' once their back is turned wink

im kinda ok that Im a loner, I would rather be alone than bitch about people. my conscience is clear.

happyfrown Wed 14-Sep-16 21:46:52

not the wrong type lol

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