How does one convince a lady?

(144 Posts)
user1466055892 Thu 16-Jun-16 07:56:50

Yes I'm a male on Mumsnet(LOL)... So I choice this particular Forum/ site thingy due to the shear volume of female users and, I need advice.

Basically we(fiancée and me) currently live in London (Marlybone) in a 3 bedroom cramped flat with no children (yet) :P and, to be quite frank I hate it here, it's huge and small all at the same time. I feel like moving and, in particular I have my sights set on Birmingham as I recently went there to visit a friend and I felt 'at home'.
Henceforth I want a change but my fiancée doesn't.

My question is to all of you women how would you be persuaded to move to an unknown location?

Another question, What are the best areas to live in? On a side note I've read via Mummyloos' thread what places are good but I want it too be more specific and, what I mean by this is postcode specific considering the following;
1. Good community all ethnicity's are welcome.
2. Safe
3. Good facilities e.g tennis court, swimming pools and nature reserve parks(like Richmond) or any nice park for a good stroll.
4. Big garden for barbecues and parties
5. We have a budget of about 1-1.2mil I'm looking for around a 5 bed so when friends or family come they can stay for the weekend.
6. Family friendly.
7. Excellent Night life (prob one of the highest priority on the list)
8. relatively close to amenities like doctors and dentists.

Thats all I can think of right now( seems a little bit since I had a list of stuff. Weird.)

Another thing would be if I posted links if it's allowed could you guys give your opinions? Highly appreciate it.

I decided to post my own thread as I did not want to steal the other users

OnlyHereForTheCamping Thu 16-Jun-16 07:58:13

She doesn't want to live in Birmingham. You can't make her. Find a compromise

user1466055892 Thu 16-Jun-16 07:58:26

Omg! So many Grammatical errors!!! blush

user1466055892 Thu 16-Jun-16 08:05:24

Yeah she won't have any of it. If I even start to talk about it she'll just change the topic?

SoupDragon Thu 16-Jun-16 08:08:21

I suspect you need to think about moving out closer to London rather than a complete change.

user1466055892 Thu 16-Jun-16 08:12:34

I know, but there's no point in packing and, going through that hassle and, moving to 2 miles away. Renders the change/ move useless doesn't it?

thrillhouse Thu 16-Jun-16 08:14:00

My question is to all of you women how would you be persuaded to move to an unknown location?

I wouldn't.

VioletBam Thu 16-Jun-16 08:14:32

You'll never manage to convince any lady to move to Birmingham.

Especially based on nothing more than a "feeling" you had.

RNBrie Thu 16-Jun-16 08:18:55

You need to talk to her about it properly. You can't just decide to move her to Birmingham, what about jobs, friends, family etc?

There is a massive difference between living in Marylebone and moving a couple of miles out to the suburbs and having a house/garden etc.

Have you asked her what she wants?

SoupDragon Thu 16-Jun-16 08:19:39

I know, but there's no point in packing and, going through that hassle and, moving to 2 miles away. Renders the change/ move useless doesn't it?

Er... no. You can move 2 miles and still be very close to London.

TBH, you are beginning to sound very controlling. How about you move to Birmingham without her?

Take her to a balti house. A proper one with menus under glass on the table, no cutlery, BYO Bankses and sharing naans three foot square. I'm a dyed in the wool Londoner but that would definitely tempt me to move to Birmingham.

More seriously, do you both have portable jobs that can be done in any moderate sized city? Would you be happy moving out to a nice commuter town in Hertfordshire/Essex?

Gowgirl Thu 16-Jun-16 08:21:40

London to Birmingham, sorry no chance!
Just hope your lady is more flexible than moi, as this idea has given me the horrors.....

Mitfordhons Thu 16-Jun-16 08:22:44

You can't.

However, if my DH was raving about a specific location and how we should live there I'd agree to a visit to check it out. That's all you can do.

I'd also suggest you should keep an open mind, she might be prepared to move, but not fancy Birmingham.

When DH and I first got together we lived in central London, we now live elsewhere, but it's been a gradual process, at first just moving 'out' to Clapham felt like a move to the sticks.

SoupDragon Thu 16-Jun-16 08:23:48

Take her to a balti house

That would keep me firmly rooted in London!

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Thu 16-Jun-16 08:23:59

You're assuming that what persuades one woman will persuade any woman.

It won't. We're all different people.

We don't know your fiancée, we don't know what makes her tick, what her priorities are, why she wants to stay in London. Have you asked her that question?

MissBattleaxe Thu 16-Jun-16 08:24:12

She's said no but you're still asking Mumsnet for the best areas and still planning ahead for a move to Birmingham.

It's as if you're making a major decision without her, and wanting to go ahead anyway. She doesn't want to. It sounds like it's the flat that's the problem, not London.

ICJump Thu 16-Jun-16 08:24:58

Whatever you do don't show her new street station

BertrandRussell Thu 16-Jun-16 08:27:06

What are her reasons for not wanting to move?

Woman, by the way, not lady.

Flumplet Thu 16-Jun-16 08:27:37

Bonkers thread. Absolutely bonkers. And that's from a lady who has moved from henley-on-thames to Birmingham. I made my own mind up.

IrenetheQuaint Thu 16-Jun-16 08:30:22

Buy her a spa day - it's well known that this is all we laydees care about.

PumpPumpUpTheJam Thu 16-Jun-16 08:31:02

Why should she move if she doesn't want to, so that you can be happier?

Why does your happiness trump hers?

If children are really on the cards taking her away form where she is comfortable is an incredibly bad idea and a great recipe for PND.

DetestableHerytike Thu 16-Jun-16 08:31:13

You can get five bedrooms for £1m a lot closer to London than Birmingham!

Moving is not about the distance, it's about the changes you want to make. You've identified house size and various other things. What does she

PumpPumpUpTheJam Thu 16-Jun-16 08:31:55

Wasn't the yoni guy from Birmingham? Maybe get him on the line.

DetestableHerytike Thu 16-Jun-16 08:32:11

..want from where she lives?

blindsider Thu 16-Jun-16 08:32:25

Buy her a spa day - it's well known that this is all we laydees care about.

Many a true word spoke in jest.... wink

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