Swagger Inn. Recruiting new wenches. Apply within! Thread 44.

(1000 Posts)
DrMalcolmTuckerWhosMistress Fri 22-Aug-14 16:11:19

Please give a brief summary of your wenching qualifications and state why you feel this position would be suitable for you?

Oblomov Fri 22-Aug-14 16:22:04

Oh dear . not sure what exactly my wenching credential's actually are. Don't think I've earnt my badge yet....
Does that help?
Am I in?

Flopsy28 Fri 22-Aug-14 16:27:43

Name: Flopsy/Flops/Floppers
Age: Body 37 dirtyMind 18
Main Interests: men, men with beards, men with long hair, men with bandanas, chocolate, porn.
Qualifications: B.Ed (that's right folks, I've got a degree in bedroom antics - I think that's what it means)
Aspirations: To boff Porthos on/in every place in the tavern.
What can I bring to the tavern: Huuuuuge bangers.

SisterHelenoftheEternalCatchUp Fri 22-Aug-14 16:28:54

Credential #1 Inability to keep off new thread? <check>
Credential #2 Muskeperving ahoy? <check>
Credential #3 Ability to run back to old thread before Malc shouts at me? <check>


I'm pretty and have perky tits grin

Badvoc123 Fri 22-Aug-14 16:43:49

Alright bitches?

Badvoc123 Fri 22-Aug-14 16:44:21

...to clarify.
You are my bitches.
ALL of you.

Badvoc123 Fri 22-Aug-14 16:45:05

Ikea catalogue has arrived...so happy smile

MadamedeChevreuse Fri 22-Aug-14 17:03:55

Why do you think you are suitable for this role?
I am obsessed with hot bearded men in leather

where would you like to be for the next five years in five years time?
On aramis

what relevant skills and experience do you have?
Obsessive compulsive nature, rampant lady horn, internet stalker, occasional bar work and cleaning (the swagger inn, doskany)

Mother superior, bar manager, the swagger inn.

Badvoc123 Fri 22-Aug-14 17:17:17

I refuse to "apply" for a role I was born for <on top of athos>
There is no one wetter qualified than me.

Badvoc123 Fri 22-Aug-14 17:17:35

<did you see what I did there?...>

LiviaDruscillaAugusta Fri 22-Aug-14 17:22:28

Qualifications: Expert on Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi, Malcolm Tucker, Cardinal Richlieu

Likes: See above

Description: I am a total perv who wants to shag the arse off Peter CApaldi.

There - do I qualify? grin

Flopsy28 Fri 22-Aug-14 17:44:37

I saw badders. I arfed too. Love how you out yourself above applying bloody wish I'd thought of that

Flopsy28 Fri 22-Aug-14 18:00:55


Flopsy28 Fri 22-Aug-14 18:01:36


Flopsy28 Fri 22-Aug-14 18:02:12


Flopsy28 Fri 22-Aug-14 18:03:16


Flopsy28 Fri 22-Aug-14 18:03:51

Bugger, run out of photos...could someone do Cardinal and Treville?

LiviaDruscillaAugusta Fri 22-Aug-14 18:04:40

Here ya go (before Malc does it!)

DrMalcolmTuckerWhosMistress Fri 22-Aug-14 18:10:30

Interesting applications.

Livia you did well until the last bit.


You're fired!

LiviaDruscillaAugusta Fri 22-Aug-14 18:32:30

Noooo sad

Can I excuse my conduct by saying that my brain is mashed with lustful thoughts of Capaldi? smile <that's me smiling winningly at the lovely Malc>

DrMalcolmTuckerWhosMistress Fri 22-Aug-14 18:39:06

Ok. Your allowed to do the jelly head fangirl thing..

Because let's be honest...



DrMalcolmTuckerWhosMistress Fri 22-Aug-14 18:39:26


LiviaDruscillaAugusta Fri 22-Aug-14 18:52:21

FUCK YEAH!!! tardis tardis tardis

Will be spending tomorrow watching lots of Capaldi and Doctor Who in readiness for the evening's pervathon!

lyndie Fri 22-Aug-14 19:07:33

Eh no.

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