Should i be coping ok with all of this or not. Can't decide if I am just being weak or wether i should be falling apart

(10 Posts)
Rooners Thu 12-Sep-13 07:45:09

Oh poor dd. I can imagine. The hospital will be a game of two halves though if it is specialist.

One, it will make her eat stuff so she doesn't get seriously underweight. Two, it will (if it is any good) have the right approach psychologically and offer her counselling and so on to counter that.

She might find it helps her a lot, if she does end up there.

I feel for you being stuck with Cahms. I don't think they have a clue mostly, by the sound of it xxx

Rooners, I totally get what you mean, but camhs have said the exact opposite confused

I'm to keep a diary of what she eats at every meal, and contact school so that they can monitor what she eats there. I feel all of this will just make her dig her heels in more.

We do have an inpatient eating disorder clinic quite nearby, but dd can't have a place unless camhs refer her, and atm they want to see if this monitoring her food intake will work instead, especially as dd has said hospital is the last thing she wants,.

Rooners Wed 11-Sep-13 20:12:37

Nutty I don't know much but I had AN for many years. The one thing I can say for definite is, it isn't about food, so try if you can to skirt round the topic of food and concentrate on her - how she feels, what is wrong, what would help her out, NOT what will make her eat, how thin she is, what she is having.

that is the only thing I know I found allowed me to eat, when people focused on everything else and not the food thing. if that makes sense? The moment someone told me to eat, I would up the ante and just be unable to do so. However subtle they were about it. ! It drove my family mad but the people I could be with and talk to (and yes eat around) were those who knew it was nothing to do with eating and didn't try and make me do it. I could do that myself, if people only saw me for who I was and the issues for what they were.

I hope she has got someone good onside, I mean in terms of therapy - the Maudsley is very good if you are near Londres and can get a referral.

Thanks both. I feel like i should be able to help dd more, but it's got a hold of her and nothing anyone says will help atm.

I also feel like i'm neglecting the other 2 dc a bit.

Think i might go have a bath, at least i can cry in peace in there lol

RandomMess Wed 11-Sep-13 19:46:35

You are doing well, many would have crumbled already wine

PixelAteMyFace Wed 11-Sep-13 19:43:26

flowers and wine wine wine

Sorry I can`t think of anything constructive to say, but couldn`t read and run.

You sound as though you are doing a great job in a difficult situation, hope things improve for you (and DD2 of course) very soon.

Rooners Wed 11-Sep-13 19:41:52

Yes I find they do this. smile

You are doing everything in your power. There's nothing more you could be doing. You're brilliant. I would be a heap with that sort of stuff happening, I'd literally be a little heap of uselessness but there you are sorting it, and planning and keeping to plans and doing all of it right.

Thats what a good mum is like. They can depend on you.

Thanks Rooners smile

I can't even cry in peace lol. Welled up and then ds decided he wanted to sit with me.

Rooners Wed 11-Sep-13 19:32:42

Nutty, you are coping with far more than most of us.

I salute you.

Not much help I know but ds3 is hitting the keyboard so I'll just send a massive hugflowers

I actually cba to type loads so i'll list whats currently going on in my life atm.

*Single mum of 3 dc aged 15, 13 and 10.

*Work 25 hours in what can be a stressful job, and i bring paperwork home weekly.

*Dd2 has moderate depression, an eating disorder and self harms. She last week took a small overdose.

*I'm broke. I have got behind with my rent because of time taken off work with dd2. I have made arrangements to catch up, which i am sticking to, but it's leaving me broke, plus I have just had to more or less double my food budget to make sure there is food in the house that might make dd2 eat something.

* Camhs want me to supervise all off dd2's meals if possible (it's not possible)

* I want to put the heating on and can't afford to

Now I know people have far worse problems, and for some reason it is bugging me that maybe i should be coping with this better than I am. I am on 30mg of anti depressants (although not had any for 3 days cos my gp's can't give me an appointment and ive run out).

I feel like i am juggling ok, but that i want to throw all of the balls on the floor and run off.

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