Why does my husband watch porn??

(15 Posts)
20092012 Sat 01-Dec-12 18:31:44

Lol might sound a bit weird but I'm 24 my husband is 26 we have 2 children, and been married for 4 years! I know a lot of men watch porn but lwhy do they feel the need to watch porn when they have a girl? I have asked my husband this but he doesn't really give me a honest answer he will change the subject so I don't really go on! I feel a bit upset because I think maybe it's because I'm not satisfying him enough so he would rather watch it! I guess it's not like he actually cheats on me but I would like to think the person I was with I'd be enough for if you know Wat I mean! So do other women feel like I do? I know a lot of people will say its normal for a guy to watch it and you don't mind it men watching it but sure someone feels like I do! I don't like him Watching it

AnyaKnowIt Germany Sat 01-Dec-12 18:38:08

I'm very anti-porn but its your husbands refusal to even talk about it would piss me off!

I would sit him down and talk to him and let him know how you feel about it.

Witchety Sat 01-Dec-12 18:43:02

Yeah he won't talk... Alarm bells!

How is he viewing it? Family pc, phone?

CajaDeLaMemoria Sat 01-Dec-12 18:49:00

I think it's a lie that most men watch porn. It's one of those myths that seems to hang around, with a few people proclaiming it to be true, even when most studies and surveys suggest otherwise.

I've had two serious relationships, and neither of my partners have watched porn. I lived with both, and would know. It's not to do with me putting my foot down or them being sly...I just don't think everyone looks at it.

I wouldn't be happy with my partner refusing to talk to me about something like that. Whether it's a question he likes or not, he owes you an answer. To be honest, if it upsets you (and I can understand why it would) I'm surprised he hasn't offered to try to stop or at least cut down...

20092012 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:24:45

Oh ok so it's not just me then lol he used to view it on MY laptop and when I discovered this I went mental but that was mainly because my son uses that laptop too and it would still be on the history and generate porn sites on the google bar! But now he will watch it on his mobile! The more I know he watches it the less I can trust him! I once watched 1 of the videos and it actually made me feel really sick I just couldn't understand why anyone would want to watch this kind of filth! And I can honestly say my feelings towards him changed since that day! Am I being OTT?

20092012 Sat 01-Dec-12 21:27:24

Thank you for all your comments x

lottie63 Mon 03-Dec-12 08:04:16

He watches porn to wank to, I guess. Before porn was readily available, people probably made it all up in their heads - and you d never have found out.

So, is the question really: why does he masturbate when he's got a girl.

One answer is: well why not? It can be quick, easy, and sometimes there's something appealing about just not having to involve another real person. As long as your sex life is okay then it's fine. I think if it wasn't there'd be greater issues.

But still, he does need to talk about it with you. He may feel self-conscious, not want to seemingly hurt you.. and he suspects that you WOULD feel hurt.

20092012 Mon 03-Dec-12 12:05:12

Pretty disgusting tho! The way I feel about porn I don't think will ever change!! It's not normal to me! I feel Iv got him so why would I need to watch porn or whatever I jus feel I shud get the same bak! But anyway it's something I can't live with so Iv told him to f* off, and go wank over dirty sluts all he likes!!!! I'd rather he cheated on me if I'm honest!!

20092012 Mon 03-Dec-12 16:30:42

And maybe he is just a dirty bastard! It has affected our relationship! I hate having sex with him now, he says he will stop but few months later same old shit! I feel he watches it because he may not be happy with what he has got (me)

Technoviking Mon 24-Dec-12 12:44:46

I doubt it has anything to do with how he feels about you. Most men, that I now, see them as totally separate. It's used for a quick fix, you feel horny and the mrs is asleep / out / ill / not in the mood so you have a quick look and a release. That's all.

But if you're not happy about it, have told him and he won't stop then he's a muppet. You may be well rid of him.

AnAirOfHopeInAManger Mon 24-Dec-12 12:51:17

I dont think it has to do with you more with him.

I think you need to talk about it together and find out why he watches it and find a way forward together.

If there is no communication in the relationship it will not work long term anyway.

jessjessjess Mon 24-Dec-12 12:55:51

It's hard to answer without knowing what kind of porn he watches.

jessjessjess Mon 24-Dec-12 12:57:23

Oh and I don't think it's the case that all men watch it. Mine doesn't and in the past have been v. frustrated by people insisting he must do and is just lying.

I think your problem is lack of communication, more than anything.

ChristmasNamechangeBridezilla Mon 24-Dec-12 13:05:31

It's buying into the whole messed up attitude that seems to prevail of sex having to be sleazy and sordid. Which is generally isn't in a committed relationship with your wife and mother of your children - which is a good thing surely? grin

It's nothing to do with you, please don't feel you aren't "enough". You could be the most beautiful woman in the world and he would still look at porn because he has a childish view of sex and likes the "dirtiness" of it. I think you did the right thing in telling him where to go tbh, I think he is being disrespectful when he knows how much it gets to you.

Isolde85 Thu 02-Jan-14 11:45:29

I'm really sad I have the same problem, my husband is 20 years older than me. I am 28, good looking and just had our first child. I found he watches porn maybe a few times a week/2 weeks. Our sex life is getting reanimated now and I thought it was going well as I recovered from the birth. I know he still fancies me and I shouldn't let it get to me, but I find I feel really hurt and like he is being unfaithful. I don't want to make a big thing out of but I can't get it out of my head now. I go to bed early as baby wakes up in the night, so I get my sleep when I can, but now I know he just goes to his study and watches porn while I am asleep. I hate it. How can I get over it?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now