I don't mean to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I really don't understand why I have no friends at all!! I am 35, married have three children (14, 4 and 6 weeks). I think I'm a nice person, loyal and honest and yet I am complete unable to hold on to a friendship. The last time I had a friend to chat to, go out with etc was at least ten years ago?
I don't get it? I'm not a horrible person, I'm friendly and chatty? So why can't I have a freind? I have found that I tend to loose friends as they move away or do something fairly unforgivable. I would love to make a few freinds for girls nights, shopping, trip with the kids? Am I asking to much? Where is everybody? After having my baby a few weeks ago and no longer working I do feel lonely, I guess it never really bothered me before... What am I doing wrong? How do I go about making freinds? Any ideas?
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Ok I give up, what's wrong with me?
Micha54178 · 11/11/2012 20:27
I think it gets harder to make friends when we get older. I find it difficult too. I'm not sure if it's because I'm more reserved or because I'm more suspicious (had crappy 'friends' too). I don't really have any real advice but wanted to say you're not alone 
Thanks cats, it's good to know I'm not the only one. I really don't understand what the issue is. I'm very reserved to, but have been trying hard. Going to clubs and groups with little ones, trying to make small talk with otter mums and nothing!
There loose, we're better off without them 
I might try that, a class of some kind
I have tried to get back in touch with old school friends, bless Facebook, but it's a real struggle to get any dialogue going. Are we really too old to make new friends? I hope not
It is their loss.
I have an 8 month old ds and so far haven't made it to any mother and toddler groups (they are on so early and I'm not organised enough 
) I've heard so many bad stories about these groups too that have also put me off.
I'm not sure where/how adults make friends...maybe a class sounds like a good idea like Wishfulmakeupping said.
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I'm going to have to get my act together as going back to work soon...it's a thought! Any tips on how to get out the door on time? You must be an expert with three!
I'm in Glasgow...if you're nearby I'd love to go for coffee and always open to making new friends
I don't think it's necessarily you. I work full time, moved halfway across the world from my birth country so don't have school mates hanging around the same city so to speak.
I have made a few girlfriends through dc1 and his friends. But with dc2 I've hardly made any new friends. Her friends tend to be the younger siblings of her brother's friends! They go to the same nursery.
I thought I'd make more friends through dc1's school now that he's started reception and I'd say that I've probably reacquainted with some post natal group friends but haven't done anything social apart from shouting 'hello!' At the school gates.
I think at my age, I'm not too concerned about making new friends - I don't even have time for the old! At the music class I attend with my dc2 I have one friend there and we agreed to make that class together in an effort to see each other at least once a week in between wheels on the bus! I embarrassingly don't know the other mums and we just say hi. They seem to know each other though or at least there are pockets of small groups of them.
Not sure what I'm trying to say...but just wanted to say that I'm pretty sure it's not you - life is so hectic. I wish I could be friendlier with other people but I don't have the time!!
ruby the only people I have any contact with is my parents, husband, brother and children. I do have anyone else that Is any where near local to meet up with etc. I would love to organise a night out, but don't know any one to ask.
cats meeting up would be lovely, sadly I'm in Surrey, not likely to be passing through!
drcrab I had a very small group of friends at school (2), one I lost touch with and one moved away. I have moved area three times since I left school and it has left me with no one around that I have any connection with. I guess my family have always been very insular and now trying to build any relationships with others is difficult and not something I'm use to. I do appreciate that all the other mums I see are busy doing 101 things, just would be great to have someone in real life to talk to and share things with. How sad do I sound?
Sorry cats, mil meant to say the only way I manage to get anything done is having all their clothes laid out the night before, bags ready and then get up really early and run round like an idiot for the next two hours before shoving the kids out the door 
Well I'm good at the running about like an idiot part 
You don't sound sad at all, I think a lot of people can relate, I certainly can!
Did you work or plan to return? I always found making friends at work a bit of a grey area but in the last few years I have met some nice people through work. Most of our lives are very different but it's nice to still be in touch with some of them even if it's not very often.
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Hi OP I think the new MN local site has a friendship bench or something, not sure how up and running it is though. Making friends seems to come so naturally to some people but I agree to most people its really hard, and I always wonder if so many people find it hard but do want to make friends why we can just say to each other "hi I'm hoping to make friends here, fancy a chat?' But I have a feeling people would think I was odd if I actually did 
What end of Surry are you in? I know parts of Surry are quite close to where I am in Middlesex Gtr London if you aren't miles away I'm always looking for new friends to enjoy cake a chat with :)
3 hours at the moment is a long lie in ib my book
Ds is my first so I feel very helpless when he seems in pain...I'm just doing all the recommended stuff, gels, teething rings, powders...at least they distract him for a while.
Today he went to my mums for a few hours...I rushed round my housework then had a bath...alone without an audience! Then a hot cuppa coffee...funny how the simplest of things become bliss
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Hey horrid - I've been on the local friends bench, not much happening there. I'm in Epsom not too far away, where abouts are you?
Cats - I'm still at the sad stage of not wanting baby out of my sight. I don't know why, each baby I am exactly the same? I really need to start letting go a little!!
A bath and coffee sounds like bliss, it's a shame that a small amount of free time and you spend a lot o it running round doing housework!!
It has only been in the last couple of weeks that I have left him...more to help him cope when I go back to work...if I had my way I wouldn't let him out of my sight too...how pfb am I
It has amazed me how possessive I have become with him! I trust my mum to do things the way I want too (she was a crazy pfb type mother too so understands)
I still can't believe how someone so small can create such havoc in a house...he has more things than dh and I put together!
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