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Bizarre things your children insist you do...

139 replies

nenevomito · 02/11/2011 08:52

Every morning, before he leaves the house, my son goes and hides in a box to become a "DS-in-a-box".

I have to turn an imaginary crank against the side of the box whilst singing a tinny version of "half a pound of tuppeny rice" getting faster and faster until he pops out, when I have to look shocked. He then gets his shoes on and we head out the door.

Does anyone else have any strange things their children insist on doing or insist that you do?

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GHAHSTLYGHOULYpants · 02/11/2011 08:57

Hahaha! DS and I sit on the sofa fishing for sharks quite often. Not as funny as yours though x

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RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 02/11/2011 09:46

Is he anything like his dear mama I wonder? Wink

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TobyLeWolef · 02/11/2011 09:51

My son makes me stroke down his nose 13 times every night when I say goodnight to him. That is once for every year of his age, plus one for luck. He has made me do this since he was 4. It is called 'fodding', because when he was learning to talk, he said 'fod' instead of 'soft' and it's stuck. My entire extended family always say 'fod' now, for anything which feels soft/fluffy when you touch it.

I keep thinking he'll grow out of being fodded, but not yet, and he insists he'll still want me to do it when he's 30.

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whyme2 · 02/11/2011 09:56

My dd insists I hold her feet every evening. After she has changed into her pyjamas she likes to lie on the sofa and put her feet in my lap, I then have to hold them firmly. She is 3.

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AKMD · 02/11/2011 10:03

DS insists on coming into our bed to sleep on my chest every morning Hmm I've tried getting him back to sleep and gently placing him back in his cot, but no, major waaaaaaaah if that happens and our neighbour is sensitive to noise [more Hmm]

Other than that, he's just bossy.

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MrsBloomingTroll · 02/11/2011 10:36

My 3yo DD makes me re-enact what she did at Pre-school that day. She is the teacher, I'm the Pre-schooler.

Last night she taught me how to cross the road (in our living room).

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nenevomito · 02/11/2011 12:04

Aww some of these are lovely rather than just bonkers like my DS.

Particularly loving Toby's fodding. [aww emoticon]

Your 3yo sounds lovely MrsBloomingTroll :)

Grin

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Calabria · 02/11/2011 12:52

We can't just walk to school as mother and daughter. We have to be kittens or rabbits or puppies or vampires.

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fishandlilacs · 02/11/2011 12:55

I have to be "Mrs getdressed" and talk in a Jean brodie voice if i want my dd to get dressed in the mornings. Also her white fluffy dog has to first ask for her shoes then "eat" them before she'll put them on.

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TheLittleFriend · 02/11/2011 13:05

After my dd's bath, she has to "walk" into her bedroom on her knees. This is a new thing, but she is showing no sign of wanting to stop.

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pixipie151 · 02/11/2011 13:07

My DD 2 year old, insists on waking that only mummy can pick her up out of the cot and hand her the milk. If Daddy does it, it is major meltdown. After she has devoured the milk, she will then and only then address Daddy.

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nenevomito · 02/11/2011 13:08

Grin @ eating shoes.

DS does like to be a robot as well and will only do things if I talk in a robotic voice. All fine until his sodding father taught him to say "does not compute".

Robot DS, Robot mummy says hang up your coat:

Does not compute! Does not Compute! (ad infinitum)

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nenevomito · 02/11/2011 13:09

pixiepie151 - fast foward 20 years and I bet she'll need that first cup of coffee of the morning to get going!

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feralgirl · 02/11/2011 13:12

The 'Daddysaurus' has to come stomping up the stairs every evening to get DS (3) out of the bath. The Daddysaurus often is then squirted from a water pistol or else DS pretends to be a tiger until it runs away.

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BertieBotts · 02/11/2011 13:15

When you put DS' shoes on, if you start with the right one then you cannot put the left one on until you have attempted to put it on the right foot, on top of the other shoe.

I did this ONCE as a joke probably when he was 18 months or so. He's now three! Every time!

Also insisting that if you start to walk down/up the stairs in the wrong order we have to go right back to the top/bottom and start again. Sometimes he insists on walking upstairs backwards too but only decides this when we are halfway up which means we need to go all the way back and start again.

The latest one which I think is hilarious is that if he says something and your reaction is "Confused Pardon?" he will hurriedly announce "I was joking!" and then refuse to repeat whatever it was that he said, even if the query was because you didn't hear him correctly.

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ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 02/11/2011 13:15

Another one with a foot fetishist DD. She lays on the sofa with her feet in my lap. I have to pull each toe individually to make it crack then get the whole lot and waggle them back and forth. She calls it massage Hmm

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ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 02/11/2011 13:17

YY to being a different person/animal.
Last year when I was driving DD to school we had different nationalities in the car. Some days I was Scots, others Indian, Russian, German, Irish, Nigerian, Thai, Aussie etc. The only accent I am rubbish Hmm at is Hawiian. Who wouldn't be?

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AmazingBouncingFerret · 02/11/2011 13:20

DS is going through a phase where he likes his back hair being stroked when he is lying down watching TV. Yes you read that right. He has back hair, he has the hairiest back ive ever seen on a child... hairiest back ever seen on anyone actually. When we call him a little monkey it's not far from the truth.

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midnightexpress · 02/11/2011 13:22

I have to do a taxi driver voice ('Where to Guv'nor?' type) when driving the car.

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Ooopsadaisy · 02/11/2011 13:22

My DCs insist on a Florence and the Machine medley every morning.

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Carrotsandcelery · 02/11/2011 13:28

whyme I totally understand the holding feet firmly thing. I love that. Or to get dh to sit on my feet.

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soandsosmummy · 02/11/2011 13:32

DD will only get up if I talk to and stoke her feet.

Good morning right baby foot its time to get up now

Good morning left baby foot its time to get up.

Blush

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JjandtheBeanplusPud · 02/11/2011 13:33

Dd is almost three, cannot possibly do a wee unless she flushes the toilet FIRST, and then of course after... Can't wait for this quaters water bill Hmm considering she will do half a droplet of wee 10 times in half an hour so that's a nice 20 flushes Hmm

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SingingSands · 02/11/2011 13:43

About age 2, when kissing goodbye or goodnight, DS insisted you have to do TWO kisses. It's become the family law. As a family we always kiss twice now!

Sometimes I surprise other friends and family by kissing them twice, because I do it without thinking now! Smile

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SingingSands · 02/11/2011 13:46

ooh AmazingBouncingFerret my DS had back hair too! It's soft and fluffy and just continues down his neck and back to the top of his bum. He's going to be a hairy man when he grows up, you can actually see the swirl it grows into in the middle of his back!

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