if all major retailers started making and marketing their own condoms and keeping their same slogans ...

(29 Posts)
borderslass Fri 27-Nov-09 07:36:14

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better.

Tesco Condoms - every little helps.

Nike Condoms - Just do it.

Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.

KFC Condoms - Finger, Licking good.

Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.

Duracell condoms - keep going and going.

Burger king condoms - Home of the whopper

[edited by admin] condoms - no comment required.

Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain

Halford condoms - we go the extra mile.

On-digital condoms - plug and play!!!!

Royal mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.

Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long

Ronseal condoms - does exactly what is says on the tin

Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in about 30 minutes

Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!!(ouch! sorry!)

Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach

Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world.

AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service

Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of an animal

Polo condoms - the condom with the hole!!! (very poor seller!!!)

For those that remember esso condoms - put a tiger in yer tank

Opal Fruit Condoms.....Made to make your mouth water!

Bounty condoms...A taste of paradise!?

The Pentonville....in for a long stretch

The Yorkshireman....tight as they come!

The B&Q...ideal for do it yourself.

The Harpic...for getting around the bend

The Credit Card Condom: "Your flexible friend" or "Don't leave home without it"

The Yellow Pages Condom: Let your fingers do the wa*king

The Cillit Bang Condom: Bang! And the conception is gone!
_______________

BettyPJones Fri 07-Dec-12 12:07:53

oh my grin

Belvita Condoms - fuller for longer

Pringles Condoms (for virgins) - Once you pop your cherry you just can't stop

Pinxit Tue 04-Dec-12 09:41:56

Mumsnet Condoms - By Parents For Parents wink

DollySistersBrothersFatherXmas Tue 04-Dec-12 09:36:59

Boots condoms - Here cum the girls

somewheresomehow Mon 05-Nov-12 18:24:43

Andrex loo roll -- soft strong and very long
the AA --To our members we're the fourth emergency service.
Apple -- Byte into an Apple (ouch)
Dunlop Tyres -- fit Dunlop and be satisfied

wonkylegs Tue 30-Oct-12 20:50:22

M&M condoms - melts in your mouth, not in your hands
Pizza Hut condoms - Now you're eating!
Honda condoms - The power of dreams
Maxwell house ... Good to the last drop. Or more worryingly "tastes as good as it smells"
BMW.... Sheer driving pleasure
Capital One Condom.... What's in your wallet?
Sensodyne....expert recommended to stop the pain blush
Budweiser condoms .... Wassup?!
HP sauce condoms .... A sauce of manliness
Guinness condoms... Good things come to those who wait.

MumtoNJCandM Wed 24-Oct-12 03:19:01

Ha, ha, ha, ha - soooooooo funny!

How about these:

Acer (computers) Condoms - Empowering People.

Adelma (Mineral Water) Condoms - Clearly Canadian Sparkling Mineral Condoms in Wild Fruit Flavours.

Alka Seltzer Condoms - Try it, you'll like it,
or - I can't believe I ate the whole thing!?!

Allinsons Bread Condoms - Condoms wi' nowt taken owt.

American Express Condoms - Don't Leave Home Without it.

Anadin Condoms - Nothing is more effective than Anadin.

Ariston Condoms - Condom...and on...and on.

Boddington's Condoms - The Cream of Manchester!

British Rail Condoms - We're getting there.

Brut (aftershave) Condoms - Splash it all over (Don't think they work!)

Burger King Condoms - It takes two hands to hold a Whopper.

Campari Condoms - The first time is never the best.

Campbell's Soup Condoms - M'm! M'm! Good!

Colgate Toothpaste Condoms - It cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth!

Dockers (clothes) Condoms - One Leg at a Time!

Hai Karate (aftershave) Condoms - Be Careful how you Use it!

Heinz Condoms - 57 Varieties.

Hewlett-Packard Condoms - Expanding Possibilities.

iPad Condoms - It just feels right to hold the 'internet' in your hands!!!

Listerine Mouthwsh Condoms - The taste you love to hate (twice a day)

Microsoft Condoms - Where do you want to go today?

Shell Oil Condoms - Go further with shell.

Tia Maria Condoms - After Dark.

Typhoo Tea Condoms - You Only get an 'OOO' with Typhoo.

There are so many more, wonderful subject, thank you for this thread!

FTRsMammy Mon 01-Oct-12 23:04:22

Loving knitted by grannies grin

Numberfour Sat 15-Jan-11 00:22:57

grin

pinkanimal Mon 19-Jul-10 18:44:02

soooo funny I almost wet myself with laughter!

E-bay comdoms-the online marketplace (shock)
Asda condoms-cant remember the phrase but instead of patting pocket they could pat crotch! (hmmm)

Amaz-on, and you're done

You can Do It when you B&Q it

frakkinnuts Sat 01-May-10 21:29:06

Amex condoms - 'we try harder' or 'don't leave home without it'

sugar puffs condoms - tell them about the honey, mummy!

Lloyds condoms - for the journey

Volkswagen condoms - think small

Nokia condoms - connecting people

jurisfictionoperative Sat 01-May-10 21:13:48

Milk marketing board comdons- ' the white stuff'!

Tidey Sat 01-May-10 20:32:29

B&Q used to use 'Nobody does it better' as their slogan, that would work.

jurisfictionoperative Sat 01-May-10 20:31:02

Abbey National condoms- 'because life is complicated enough'

Lexilicious Sat 01-May-10 20:29:29

waitrose condoms would have lovely music and sometimes make you cry

jurisfictionoperative Sat 01-May-10 20:24:00

Audi condoms- 'vorsprung durch techdick'
Pampered Chef condoms- 'discover the chef in you'

Granny23 Thu 15-Apr-10 00:57:38

Sheddies Condoms - Knitted by Grannies

Cant stop laughing at this one grin

jenduff Thu 15-Apr-10 00:23:37

M&S would have some lovely elaborate description

Mumcentreplus Sat 06-Feb-10 21:27:13

HSBC Condoms- "The world's local wank"

Pingles Condoms - "once you pop you can't stop!"

WrigsAndJiggs Sat 06-Feb-10 19:30:38

Irn Bru condoms - Made is Scotland from girders (ouch!)

Sidge Sat 06-Feb-10 19:08:20

Rice Krispie condoms - snap crackle pop

Delta Airline condoms - we get you there

McDonalds condoms - I'm lovin it

Mumcentreplus Sat 06-Feb-10 17:41:08

Clover condoms - the middle is good

Calsberg Condoms - "Probably the best condoms in the world"

Frosties Condoms - "They're grrrreat"

Mumcentreplus Sat 06-Feb-10 17:34:12

Sheddies Condoms - Knitted by Grannies grin

SleepyDopeyGrumpy Sat 06-Feb-10 17:16:40

AT&T condom: Reach out and touch someone.

Courage Tavern Ale condom: It's what your right arm's for

Peter Paul Mounds/ Almond Joy condom: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

Radio Times condom: If its on, Its in... (lmao)

Smarties condom: WotalotIgot!

Alka Seltzer condom: Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is. grin

Avis Rent A Car condom: We try harder.

Braniff Airlines condom: When you got it, flaunt it

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