Children's jokes that a 4 year old can learn please!!

(84 Posts)
Starbear Mon 01-Sep-08 22:40:00

My DS loves telling jokes but I only know 'What do you get on the beach with a witch, a sandwitch...' he loves it and I love watching him laugh.

SirEdmundFrillary Fri 17-Aug-12 16:32:07

(It helps if you say the DUNG! bit in a loud, resonant voice. Difficult to explain in writing.)

SilkieChicken Fri 17-Aug-12 17:45:33

My DS will LOVE these! I'm horrifically awful at jokes.

SlinkyPebbles Sun 02-Sep-12 08:52:17

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling very well.

SlinkyPebbles Sun 02-Sep-12 08:54:28

Not really a joke as such, but we've had recent hilarity at bath times with my 2.5 year old recognizing how similar the world 'shampoo' sounds to 'some poo'. She never fails to crack up when I offer to put 'some poo' on her hair.

diddlediddledumpling Sun 02-Sep-12 09:02:11

Two that mine heard last Hallowe'en and are still laughing at:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Bear
Bear who?
Bear bum!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No, you're a poo.

Molehillmountain Sun 16-Sep-12 19:37:03

Knock knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Mary Christmas and a happy new year

Molehillmountain Sun 16-Sep-12 19:37:44

And dunop who? one from up thread

MrsSnaplegs Sun 16-Sep-12 19:39:52

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they aaargh! (said with a pirate accent)

WilfSell Sun 16-Sep-12 19:42:45

Three kids, walking through a forest. Suddenly they see a slide and a fairy, who tells them the slide is magic and whatever they shout as they're sliding down, they will land in a big pile of it.

First kid slides down and shouts 'ICE CREAM!' and lands in a big pile of strawberry ice cream. Eats it all obv.

Second kid slides down and shouts 'CHOCOLATE CAKE!'

Third kid forgets and shouts 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....'

Why did the precipice?
Because the seaweed.

Sunshinegirls Wed 27-Feb-13 14:29:00

Why did the mushroom go to all the parties?
Because he was a funghi!!

thingamajig Wed 27-Feb-13 14:34:40

Why couldn't the car play football?
Because he only had one boot.

thingamajig Wed 27-Feb-13 14:35:46

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Shodan Wed 27-Feb-13 14:45:20

Told to me by ds2 (5):

Why did the sheep cross the road?
To go to the baaa-bers.

VitoCorleone Wed 27-Feb-13 14:50:32

Why did the pig cross the road, roll in the mud then cross back over?

Because he's a dirty double crosser

Branleuse Wed 27-Feb-13 17:15:57

what do you call a man with 6 rabbits up his bum?

Warren

RAFdad Mon 22-Apr-13 09:55:10

What fish sleeps underwater?
A kipper smile

MummyAbroad Mon 06-May-13 01:14:00

here is our "poo" version...

knock knock

who's there?

Smell Mop

Smell Mop Who?

Smell your poo?! I dont think so!

The other great favorite (or if I am honest, the only other one he gets) is:

What is brown and sticky?

A stick!

CointreauVersial Mon 06-May-13 01:17:03

DS's fave joke at that age:

What do you call a man with a boulder on his head?

Squashed.

Felsted Sun 12-May-13 19:47:21

Why did tiger look down the loo?

Because he was looking for Pooh!

FOURBOYSUNDER6 Fri 24-May-13 22:26:11

What wobbles in the sky ?
A jelly copter !!!!

LakeFlyPie Fri 24-May-13 22:32:13

DS(4)'s favourite delivered with complete lack of comic timing

Doctor, Doctor, I think I need a pair of glasses
You certainly do, this is a Fish and Chip shop

grin

Thesebootsweremadeforwalking Fri 24-May-13 22:39:00

Why do giraffes have long necks?

Because they have smelly feet.

MonstrousPippin Sat 25-May-13 09:33:00

Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It went down the lane and turned into a field.

MERLYPUSS Sat 25-May-13 20:42:33

Where di fish keep their money?
In a river bank.

What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.

What wobbles in the sky?
A jellycopter

(all of the punch lines are interchangable and still as funny if you are my DTs)

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