Children's jokes that a 4 year old can learn please!!

(89 Posts)
Starbear Mon 01-Sep-08 22:40:00

My DS loves telling jokes but I only know 'What do you get on the beach with a witch, a sandwitch...' he loves it and I love watching him laugh.

Moomin Mon 01-Sep-08 22:41:25

Where do cows go on a saturday night?

To the MOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooovies

(dd1 used to tell this one til she was blue in the face)

ChasingSquirrels Mon 01-Sep-08 22:41:51

what's the difference between a teacher and a book?
You can shut a book up.

What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang around and I'll go on ahead.

What's did one tomato say to the other tomato?
You go ahead and I'll ketchup.

Were the 3 that my ds loved at 4.

Linnet Mon 01-Sep-08 22:42:33

why does a penguin carry a fish in it's beak?

because it doesn't have any pockets!

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

a wooly jumper!

Tidgypuds Mon 01-Sep-08 22:43:30

Why did the crab go to jail...
Because it kept pinching.

What is a pirates favourite shop...
AAAAAAAAAAArrrrgos.

Knock Knock
Who's there
Atish
Atish.who
Bless you

Lucycat Mon 01-Sep-08 22:44:03

What is brown and sticky?

a stick!

GrimmaTheNome Mon 01-Sep-08 22:44:16

Knock knock

who's there?

Boo

Boo who?

Don't cry its only me.

That was the first joke my DD ever learned to do properly.

Thomcat Mon 01-Sep-08 22:45:05

What do you give a sick pig?

OINKment!

NutterlyUts Mon 01-Sep-08 22:46:16

What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment

foxythesnowfox Mon 01-Sep-08 22:47:20

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?

Orange you glad you didn't say banana?

Flamesparrow Mon 01-Sep-08 22:48:05

Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling well.

Why did the icecream go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't lickin good.

edam Mon 01-Sep-08 22:48:54

What's the fastest cake in the world?

(you have to say the answer VERY quickly)

a scone!

(doesn't work if you pronounce it with a long O, though)

Portofino Mon 01-Sep-08 22:48:54

What's black and white and goes round and round - a penguin in the washing machine. This gives dd hysterics.

Washersaurus Mon 01-Sep-08 22:51:05

What is brown and sticky?



A stick!

Lucycat Mon 01-Sep-08 22:52:15

oy washer! preview! that's the only joke I know!

iLoveIceCream Mon 01-Sep-08 22:52:44

what did one snowman say to the other?

can you smell carrots?

grin

Washersaurus Mon 01-Sep-08 22:54:08

Sorry Lucy! The only joke I know too...therefore it must be a good suggestion grin

LuLuMacGloo Mon 01-Sep-08 22:54:20

Why did the banana go to the doctors?

Because it wasn't peeling well.

DD has no clue what this means but tells it ad infinitum and with great relish.

Lucycat Mon 01-Sep-08 22:55:13

grin at washer and our joke-telling capacities

Mamazon Mon 01-Sep-08 22:55:37

why did the beach blush?

'cos the sea wee'd

LittlePushka Mon 01-Sep-08 23:09:13

Oh these are so cute! I need to learn them ...all!

Dalrymps Mon 01-Sep-08 23:15:05

What kind of bee's make milk?

Boo bees

A man went to the doctor and said 'doctor I feel like a bridge'

Doc says 'whats come over you?'

Man says '2 cars, a lorry and a bus'

A man goes to the doc and says 'I feel like a pair of curtains'

Doc sasy 'pull yourself together'

misspopov Mon 01-Sep-08 23:18:27

Why was the broom late?
Because he over swept.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco?
Because he had no body to go with.

bellabelly Mon 01-Sep-08 23:21:21

What do ghosts eat?
Spook-hetti (spaghetti)

supadoula Mon 01-Sep-08 23:21:56

What is the martians' favourite party food?
Martian-mallows! (hours of fun with this one!)

What is a pirate's favourite letter?
Arrrrrrrrrr

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