simple jokes needed for my 7 year old ds to use in talent show ...

(63 Posts)
pepsi Wed 04-Jul-07 10:22:53

DS7, who is mild aspergers, has put his name down to do the school talent show, he wants to tell jokes, trouble is he doesnt like any of mine and his current one he made up.....Why did the body cross the road......to get his head, wont I think get any laughs. He loves trains and animals so anything along those lines great. He likes knock knock stuff and why did the xxx cross the road and what do you get if you cross a xxx with a xxx sort of thing. Come on make me laugh!

Littleprincessrocks Tue 24-Jul-12 00:33:29

What type of bee's make milk?
Boobies! grin

Cremolafoam Tue 24-Jul-12 00:32:11

What kind if biscuits fly?

Plain onesbiscuitwink

Littleprincessrocks Tue 24-Jul-12 00:31:30

Just thought I would add one I heard from a special little guy

Why did the computer catch a cold?
Because he left his Windows open!

And DDs favourite 2:
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
Nacho Cheese (not your cheese)

What cheese can you use to hide a horse?
Mascarpone

MummyAbroad Sun 25-Mar-12 03:52:34

I know this is a really old thread, but I have really enjoyed reading it, cant wait to tell DS some of these tomorrow. Here is my effort:

What do you call a horse with three legs?
A Wonky Donkey

What do you call a horse with three legs and one eye?
A Winky Wonky Donkey

grin grin grin

Zola78 Fri 18-Nov-11 09:11:58

Sorry but DS7 joke was by far the best one! I'm still laughing now :-) Its pure comedy lol.

WowOoo Thu 18-Sep-08 20:06:51

I thought your son's joke was very funny, he should give it a go!

Knock knock
Who's there
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Are there any more biscuits?

What did the traffic light say to the car?

Don't look at me, I'm changing!

IAteDavinaForDinner Thu 18-Sep-08 20:03:20

Oh goodness me, I hope the talent show went well ... last year! blush

IAteDavinaForDinner Thu 18-Sep-08 20:02:25

Waiter asks for order from customer in restaurant. Man says "Steak and kiddly pie, please". Waiter says "Do you mean steak and kidney pie, sir?". Man says "That's what I said, diddly I?".

I know some 7 year olds who will laugh about that for aaaaaaaaaaages. hmm

hughjarssss Thu 18-Sep-08 20:01:39

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

(how come this thread is back?)

beanieb Thu 18-Sep-08 20:00:12

What do Maggots read...

Maggotzines.

My brother got best joke in a magazine with that one, he's been annoying us with terrible puns ever since.

peasoup Thu 18-Sep-08 19:57:54

Q- What's a Wok?
A- Something you throw at a wabbit

bluebellwood Thu 18-Sep-08 19:56:06

What did the policeman say to his tummy?

You're under a vest!

ChipButty Tue 15-Jul-08 22:37:59

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?



To get to the bottom!

surprise Tue 01-Jul-08 20:38:59

what do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk.

Tortington Tue 31-Jul-07 08:22:47

what's black n white black n white black n white black n white?

nun rolling down a hill ( partic good in catholic school)

Tortington Tue 31-Jul-07 08:21:56

what pie flies?

a magpie

MaryBS Tue 31-Jul-07 08:03:05

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Humphrey

2 snowmen talking - one says to the other,
"Can you smell carrots?"

Did you hear about the hyena that swallowed an Oxo cube?
It made a laughing stock of himself

Why did the chicken cross the football pitch?
Because the referee called for a fowl

What goes "Ha Ha Bonk"?
A man laughing his head off

cleaninglady Wed 18-Jul-07 12:45:30

my dds favourite:

why did tigger look down the toilet?

because he was trying to find poo(h)

LegoLeia Wed 18-Jul-07 12:15:34

Who gets drunk and kicks darleks?

Dr. Who-ligan



Oh, my!

ahundredtimeturners Sun 15-Jul-07 23:13:14

What did the 0 say to the 8?

I like your belt.

Stroo Sun 15-Jul-07 23:11:34

Joker - Knock Knock

Person - Who's There?

Joker - The interrupting starfish

Person - The interrupting starfish Who?

although the recipient of the joke doesn't get to finish the last sentence because the joker pus his / her hand in front of the person face halfway through the line and goes "bloughbleurghblough" (hand = starfish)

Trust me - it's funny!!!!!!!!

sanae Sat 14-Jul-07 20:01:19

why did the one handed chicken cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop!


Why did the head teacher quit?

Because there were too many rulers in the school!


What did the ghost teacher say to her pupils?

Look at the board while I go through it again!


What goes up very slowly and comes down very fast?

An elephant in an elevator!

anniebear Mon 09-Jul-07 11:33:09

Knock Knock

whos there

Ipe

Ipe who

eughhhhh do you?!!!!!!!!!


Ok, maybe dont use that one for school lol lol but I do like it!!!

totaleclipse Thu 05-Jul-07 10:12:09

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea.


What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
time to get a new one.

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