simple jokes needed for my 7 year old ds to use in talent show ...

(63 Posts)
pepsi Wed 04-Jul-07 10:22:53

DS7, who is mild aspergers, has put his name down to do the school talent show, he wants to tell jokes, trouble is he doesnt like any of mine and his current one he made up.....Why did the body cross the road......to get his head, wont I think get any laughs. He loves trains and animals so anything along those lines great. He likes knock knock stuff and why did the xxx cross the road and what do you get if you cross a xxx with a xxx sort of thing. Come on make me laugh!

What sort of sandals do frogs wear?

Open TOAD!!!


How do you get two elephants in a mini?

One in the front, one in the back!!!


How do you get two whales in a mini?

You can't - it's full of elephants!!!!


How do you get two whales (to Wales) in a mini?

Over the severn bridge!!!

TootyFrooty Wed 04-Jul-07 15:12:31

One snowman said to the other "Can you smell carrot?"

What lies trembling at the bottom of the sea??

A nervous wreck !!

doughnuts Wed 04-Jul-07 15:14:40

What's brown and sticky ?

A stick

ds loved that one for some reason....

fanella Wed 04-Jul-07 15:17:55

why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide....guffaw!

knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
knock knock
who's there?
orange
orange who?
orange you glad I didn't say banana?

CaptainUnderpants Wed 04-Jul-07 15:49:27

Knock Knock

Who's there ?

Edbutt

Edbutt who ?

Edbutt ( egg but ) no bacon thank you .

Why has a giraffe got a long neck?
Because his feet stink.

Lolly68 Wed 04-Jul-07 16:00:00

What do you call two happy mushrooms?












Funghi.

Ellbell Wed 04-Jul-07 16:08:49

How does an elephant ask for a bun?

[Put arm up to nose and make like you have a trunk...] Can I have a bun please?



Why did the banana go to the doctor's?
Because he wasn't peeling well. (That's dd2's favourite)

Ellbell Wed 04-Jul-07 16:08:49

How does an elephant ask for a bun?

[Put arm up to nose and make like you have a trunk...] Can I have a bun please?



Why did the banana go to the doctor's?
Because he wasn't peeling well. (That's dd2's favourite)

Ellbell Wed 04-Jul-07 16:09:14

Whoops, neither was really funny enough to need telling twice

purpleduck Wed 04-Jul-07 17:34:06

my son just said:
Why did the biscuit go to the dr's??

Because he was feeling crumby!!!

jura Thu 05-Jul-07 10:07:10

what do you call a fish with no eyes?




Fsh!

totaleclipse Thu 05-Jul-07 10:12:09

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea.


What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
time to get a new one.

anniebear Mon 09-Jul-07 11:33:09

Knock Knock

whos there

Ipe

Ipe who

eughhhhh do you?!!!!!!!!!


Ok, maybe dont use that one for school lol lol but I do like it!!!

sanae Sat 14-Jul-07 20:01:19

why did the one handed chicken cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop!


Why did the head teacher quit?

Because there were too many rulers in the school!


What did the ghost teacher say to her pupils?

Look at the board while I go through it again!


What goes up very slowly and comes down very fast?

An elephant in an elevator!

Stroo Sun 15-Jul-07 23:11:34

Joker - Knock Knock

Person - Who's There?

Joker - The interrupting starfish

Person - The interrupting starfish Who?

although the recipient of the joke doesn't get to finish the last sentence because the joker pus his / her hand in front of the person face halfway through the line and goes "bloughbleurghblough" (hand = starfish)

Trust me - it's funny!!!!!!!!

ahundredtimeturners Sun 15-Jul-07 23:13:14

What did the 0 say to the 8?

I like your belt.

LegoLeia Wed 18-Jul-07 12:15:34

Who gets drunk and kicks darleks?

Dr. Who-ligan



Oh, my!

cleaninglady Wed 18-Jul-07 12:45:30

my dds favourite:

why did tigger look down the toilet?

because he was trying to find poo(h)

MaryBS Tue 31-Jul-07 08:03:05

What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Humphrey

2 snowmen talking - one says to the other,
"Can you smell carrots?"

Did you hear about the hyena that swallowed an Oxo cube?
It made a laughing stock of himself

Why did the chicken cross the football pitch?
Because the referee called for a fowl

What goes "Ha Ha Bonk"?
A man laughing his head off

Tortington Tue 31-Jul-07 08:21:56

what pie flies?

a magpie

Tortington Tue 31-Jul-07 08:22:47

what's black n white black n white black n white black n white?

nun rolling down a hill ( partic good in catholic school)

surprise Tue 01-Jul-08 20:38:59

what do you call a fly with no wings?
a walk.

ChipButty Tue 15-Jul-08 22:37:59

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?



To get to the bottom!

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