Mumsnet Talk

DS7, who is mild aspergers, has put his name down to do the school talent show, he wants to tell jokes, trouble is he doesnt like any of mine and his current one he made up.....Why did the body cross the road......to get his head, wont I think get any laughs. He loves trains and animals so anything along those lines great. He likes knock knock stuff and why did the xxx cross the road and what do you get if you cross a xxx with a xxx sort of thing. Come on make me laugh!

How does a cat go down the motorway?

MEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW

(ach that joke takes me back....)

My currrent fave is: What's ET short for? He's only got little legs.
(if kids know ET these days...)

Also a deep reservoir is the "what do you call a man...?" style - eg What do you call a man with a seagul on his head? Cliff! What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court? Annette! Etc etc.

What's the loudest pet?
A trumpet

Whats Orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper.

why cant an elephant ride a bike?

cos he doesnt have a thumb to ring the bell

I like the one about that cat on the motorway.

what do jellyfish get when they get married?

Jellybabies!!!

whats brown and sticky
A stick

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atish
Atish who?
Bless you have you got a cold?

knock knock?
who's there?
dwayne
dwayne who?
dwayne the tub!! I'm dwowning!!!

knock knock?
who's there?
dr
dr who!!!


knock knock?
who's there?
boo
boo who?
there's no need to cry about it!!!

And the one on Chris Moyles this morning
"what do you call a one eyed deer?
No eye deer (no idea)
!!!!!

good Luck to your son!!

Who is the world's greatest underwater secret agent?

James Pond

Ah yes, remember the Atish who one now, excellent.

Knock knock

Who's there

Interrupting sheep

Interrupting sh....

BAAAAAAAAA

Oh!!! Pepsi, is your son's joke a variation on the "why did the skeleton cross the road?........to get to the body shop!!!!"


you gotta love the jokes on wotsits!!!

What do you call a dinosaur with 1 eye
D'yuthinkhrsawus (Do you think he saw us)

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes
Cantofsawus (Can't of saw us)

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees
Do you ever see elephants in cherry trees?
No -
Must be a good disguise then

Whats red and invisible?
No tomatoes

Message withdrawn

Where do cows go on a saturday night??

To the MOOOOOOOOvies

why was the sand wet??

Because the sea-weed.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick


Whats brown and quacks?

Donald mince


Did you hear about the guy who was found dead in an ice-cream shop.

He topped himself

Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets?

Because he was a little shellfish!

Ds1 entered this joke a few years ago into a competition run by Adams and won it and they printed the joke on their labels.

What's a funny book about eggs called?
A yolk book

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 7 8 9 !