As a kid, did you have friends who were adults?

[Bobbalina]

I certainly had no adult friends when I was a child.

My dd - an only - has always had several close adult friends, from toddler age to now - she is 10.

Is this mainly an only child phenomena, a sign of changing times, or was I unusual in my own childhood experience?

[gorionine]

We had 4 neighbours (they were brothers and their dad) and they just were fabulous whith us kids, always had time to show us interesting things like how they cleaned there bike or play the banjo... Thinking about it now, I had a relation with them that was friendship really, there was real mutual respect. I was not an only child though.

[bluejeans]

I couldn't relate to adults other than in a teacher/child type relationship until I was about 17 25 so I'm always impressed with children who can.

DD is an only child and very shy with adults but some of her friends seem to chat to me very easily 'I like your hair bluejeans!' etc. It sounds as if your DD has a good level of maturity in that area which will really help her in life I reckon!

[seeker]

I don't think children and adults can be proper "friends'. Friendship to me implies a level of mutual support and "on a level" communication which I don't think can happen between a child and an adult. And I don't think it should.

[ProfYaffle]

I'm an only child and don't remember having had any adult friends as a kid. My parents had their friends who were friendly towards me but they weren't my friends.

[autobahnbismark]

Growing up I had adult neighbours who I played with most days (board games, hopscotch etc.) though I considered them to be surrogate grand-parents rather than friends. It might have been because there were no other children on my street apart from my brother, and we didn't always get on that well.

[UniS]

Yes ,from age 10ish I remember having much older friends, but I wasn't an only, I was an eldest who loathed her sibling.

It shows up in teens on work experience, which can have a conversation with an adult they don;t know and which can't coz they are only used to teacher/ parent adults talking to them rather than with them.

Now I started working at 16, with adults and no one else my age, and didn't find it tricky. Maybe because I was used to hanging out with a mixed age group of young adults ( from church) from teens up to early 30s.

[oxeye]

I know what you mean, Seeker, but perhaps your definition of "friend" is too particular

Certainly I had relationships with several adults that were not family and with whom the relationship was with me and the adult, not via my parents.

They were very important to me, and I have siblings with whom I get on wonderfully well

[Bobbalina]

Agree that adult to adult friendship is different to adult and child friendship, but I think friendships between adults and children can be great , as has already been said where there is mutual respect. I am happy that my child is comfortable amongst adults and can count several adults as friends, but it is very different to how I was as a child which was that l was really only comfortable with my peers as friends.

[teafortwo]

YES!!!

My Father's best friend was a lovely man who never had any children of his own.

When I was born he automatically treated me as his chosen neice. I spent lots of summers with him going on adventures sailing, checking out various ruins, zoo trips, long walks and so forth and then returning in time for tea.

He was always a very dear friend to me who understood me and life so well.

Sadly he suddenly died six years ago (when I was in my early twenties), he died far too young, and when this happened I suddenly realised that he was one of my best friends.

I like to think that because of the good influence he had on me that through me something of him still lives on and that I will leave something of his way of regarding life to my dd when it is my time to go.

[seeker]

I had lovely relationships with adults that I valued very much. Most of them are dead now(I am very old) but one is still a good friend, and is a friend to my children. And my children have good relationships with adults.

I am very wary of the term "friendship" between adults and children, though. I think it's because I know several overly adult, rather precocious children who consider themselves, for want of a better word, "on a par" (in quotes because that's not exactly what I mean, but I can't think of a better way of putting it) with adults, and I don't think that is good for anyone.

[SandyBits]

No, I didn't but I can't think of a single friend my mum had that could have fulfilled that role iyswim. Sad to think really. She's only just turned 50 and still has no friends.
My dc have a lot of adult friends, I can think of 3 women in particular who are my close friends that dd who is 6 considers her friends too. I think they have many more aquaintances too, I can think of many people who work in shops, the ice cream man on the high street, the lollipop man, the lady we see at the bus stop, for example who they know to say hello to, and who know my dc by name. I think in all honesty my mum has always been antisocial . Talking more about aquaintances now, I think it is actually good for them to say a friendly hello to people we see reguarly. I certainly feel there is amore of a community feel than when I grew up, and I've moved from a market town to a city!

[Yarnie]

I was an only child and two of my "best friends" were a married couple who lived around the corner from us. They had no children of their own (as I grew older it became clear they had fertility issues and, happily, some years later they went on to have twins).

"Friends" is obviously open to definition, but they were basically adult playmates to me. They were very outdoorsy and living in a flat, I loved helping them in the garden. They baked and were very make-do-and-mend and that was a million miles away from my life at home! I learned a lot and gained an enthusiasm for much that would have otherwise passed me by.

They never showed anything other than delight when I knocked on their door, several times a week. My mum knew them and supported our friendship, but did not mediate it. When I said to my mum that I must have been a pain to them, she said they genuinely loved having me around.

I think relationships with adults, who can be good role models to your children, are very valuable. Despite being a staunch atheist, I have picked two "ungodparents" for my son who live their lives differently to us and have a lot to offer him, should he find he has chemistry with them.

[JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah]

I started working when I was 14, and I think the older people I worked alongside (proabably in their early 20s - so ancient!) were colleagues to me, rather than Grown Ups (iykwim).

We also had a couple of lodgers with whom I had a similar relationship. In both cases I'd say they were more like older siblings to me though than friends.

Younger than that, then no I don't think I had any adult friends really. Ds (10) has his "Auntie" (aka an old friend of mine), and they're friends I guess - but the relationship is still more that of a young (she's the same age as me but unencumbered by DCs and has a far more varied life than I do - so she's cool in his eyes) aunt and her nephew.

[JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah]

Meant to say both ds and I are onlies.