Savvy responses - a definative guide

[luminousloopylou]

So relieved to have found this topic. I live in a village with 2.5 children families everywhere.

But thats it. I have had enough with the subtle and not so subtle hints, jibes and prompts regarding my mother to an only child status!

I just need a comprehensive list of come-back lines, so that when the next person says "so you are not having any more then?" I am armed and prepared.

I have already noted these from previous threads:

• "We can't aford to offset the carbon emissions"
• "fuck off" (less constructive!)

any other savvy responses out there?

[Takver]

Boringly, I just say 'no, I'm happy with the one'.

Did once say - 'good god no, I'm too old for all that' (unplanned but honest!) - then remembered that the person asking was (a) older than me, and (b) very much wanted children & so far not succeeding

[MamaVoo]

Not very useful to you, but my immediate response is 'God no'. It's amusing to the see the look of shock on people's faces. I do try to engage my brain first though and not say it.

[TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle]

i tend to either say "are you kidding? labour hurts!" or "we'll see, I'm not good at being pregnant"

have said (when v pissed off) "we've been trying for 5y, had numerous mc's lost a tube, nearly died but im on day 13 and last night we used pre-seed, had sex doggy style, i stuck my legs in the air for 2 hours and tried visualising, trust me if it works you will be the first to know. so how's your sex life?"

not particularly savvy, but was v satisfying.

[mogs0]

I never knew this topic existed!!!

Now that my ds is 7, people don't seem to ask as much as they did when he was 2 or 3.

I usually say that I learned my lesson the first time round and that labour was so traumatic I can still feel the pain! - which is actually true but not the only reason for only having one child.

[cryhavoc]

I say, 'No, we quite like the one we've got, so no need for another.'

DD is 2.4, so I am being asked if we'll be having more A LOT, especially as (apologies for sweeping generalisation that is to follow) we live on a forces base and there is a culture of SAHM with large families.

[omydarlin]

i like to say "my family seems complete to me" ! Or "Mums with more than one always seem to be moaning to me" (especially useful for smug , pious, saintly "I have no time in my life you must have loads of time on YOUR hands" mummies)

• although I would never give others the satisfaction of knowing the reason behind ( traumatic pregnancy birth/miscarriages etc) some people are just to nosy - one friends Husband told me 4 times in the space of 4 minutes I "should have another" jeez!!

[GenevieveHawkings]

I have to say this is not a question I've ever really been asked. In fact, more often than not it comes from me because I'm usually up front and tell people that I only ever wanted one child.

I always get the impression that people really don't like to broach what they se as being a delicate subject because if they know you've only got one child they naturally assume that there must be some reason behind why you haven't got any more. I'm convinced that most people think that any normal woman who could have more than one child would have more than one child! Not so here I'm afraid! I'm most certainly normal I can assure you - I just didn't want any more than one child! It doesn't mean that I'm not maternal, selfish or too career minded because I'm certainly none of those things!

The other thing I find is that if they only see you with one child (and don't know that's all you have) they naturally assume you must have more at home/at another school etc!

Back to the original question - if asked this question I would say "no, one was all I ever wanted". I suppose you could always say that to get people off your case even if that weren't strictly true...?

[SantaLucia]

My personal most used one is:

"No. I can't be arsed. Children are a lot of hard work and I want to do other things with my life."

[Bobbalina]

If you got it right first time ...

[NicknameInUse]

Watching with interest as I get so narked with judgy-holier-than-thou types asking me to justify my personal choices to them all the fecking time.

I just tend to say "no, I've only ever wanted the one" too.
Though, if I'm caught on a bad day it can be something like "No, no more, I've finally found an effective contraception" followed by "What on Earth posessed you to have more than one?!". It's fun to watch someone else try to justify an intrinsic feeling for a change.

Loved the carbon emissions one though!

[Sanesometimes1]

Don't get asked this at all now as dd is 13, but used to say that I was maternally fulfilled and we were a very happy little family ( which we are btw!) x