What would you do?

[MumofoneAsthma]

A lot of background info so apologies for the long post.

I have brittle asthma, and have done for all of my life. I was offered some treatment that would significantly improve my day to day life just before I conceived, however I had to delay the treatment because I wanted to have a baby. The treatment is ongoing for the rest of my life provided it works, I am now delaying treatment because I am breastfeeding, DD is 9 months old. My consultant has told me to discuss with partner whether we want another baby as it would not be advisable to stop treatment. My hubs said he can't imagine sharing his love with another baby previously but is starting to come round to the idea and has agreed to discuss next year... HOWEVER

this afternoon I had one of the worst asthma attacks I've had, causing me to feel as though I was going to die, while going through this all I could think about was my beautiful little girl, who is a total mommas girl, and how my heart bursts with love and pride day in day out, and then I started to think, am I being selfish delaying treatment to have another baby? Should I just stop breastfeeding and take the treatment to lower the risk of this happening again or worse? I feel as though delaying treatment is me putting my daughter having a mummy around at risk, just so that I can potentially have another baby.

Now don't get me wrong my little girl has a wonderful and I am mobile when I'm at my best, but today just before I came to hospital I couldn't even pick her up and walk her to the car. It just made me think that there could be more days ahead just like today where she's going to be distressed because I'm gone for a while.

What would you do? Would you stop breastfeeding as hard as it may be, and start treatment and rule out having another baby? Or would you persist in breastfeeding and try for another baby when the time is right & THEN have treatment? However long that may be away, and risk more potential days like today, or worse??

Interested to know.

[retainertrainer]

Oh gosh you have my sincere sympathy . Unfortunately it's one of those tough decisions that only you can make.

I went through the same thing although I have ulcerative colitis so it wasn't a life or death type of scenario but certainly a quality of life one.

I stopped breastfeeding early (I managed 6 months) to get back on my meds. Once I was on them and stable I just realised that my DS needs a healthy mum more than a sibling. I don't have much support from family (DH is amazing but has to work long hours) and I was just too scared to push myself further for a second child.

DS is now 7 and a lovely happy chap. Showing no signs of an only child stereo type (whatever that non sense is!) and I've managed to stay reasonably healthy. I've thoroughly enjoyed being a mum and he's had the best of me.

Only you know what's best for your family. If you're risking your life then it's a no brainer.