Is it not true that siblings don't play together

(44 Posts)
lighthouse17 Mon 20-Jun-16 18:10:30

Hiya
I met this lady at the park and she had a 2 year old daughter and a 4 year old son. She said that they don't play together at all. I could also see this for myself as he wanted to run around do boys stuff, the girl was more gentle and wanted to play differently. So she asked me to meet up as her daughter had no one to play with. I am writing all this as part of the reason I want another it's because I don't want my daughter to feel lonely. So it's not guarantee that they will play together and not feel lonely ...

ineedamoreadultieradult Mon 20-Jun-16 18:14:04

No its not guaranteed at all. My two boys are 9 and 6 and they play together all the time it's so lovely to watch. However me and my brother are 2 years apart we never played together as children, actively fought each other, ignored each other as teenagers and as adults we would never see each other if it wasn't for weddings and funerals!

RoganJosh Mon 20-Jun-16 18:15:20

My girl and boy have always played really well together, so it's not true for us.

abbsismyhero Mon 20-Jun-16 18:16:08

i have a 16 year old girl and 3/7 year old boys they are all playing minecraft as we speak

PolaroidsFromTheBeyond Mon 20-Jun-16 18:17:27

I have two girls. Sometimes they play really nicely together, sometimes they want to do their own thing and sometimes they fight. I think they're pretty standard really.

Toocold Mon 20-Jun-16 18:18:25

Mine play together, 3 year age gap, boy and a girl, I expect it depends on age and the child.

FATEdestiny Mon 20-Jun-16 18:18:41

My DS10 is currently outside playing football with DS6 and two neighbours.

When younger DS10 used to play with DD11, no noticeable differences given different genders. However DD as DD got older she was less interested in "playing" anyway, but younger son now that is.

They don't always play together. They all like time with their own friends not siblings. But I strongly believe that to have brothers and sisters then you always have someone around, even if you don't always appreciate their presence.

That said, both my boys have best friends who are only children. Lovely boys from lovely families and they make strong friendship bonds. Maybe this is because they are only children, maybe it's nothing to do with that.

katienana Mon 20-Jun-16 18:18:41

My brother and I are 2 years apart and we played together loads. Make believe, board games, Lego, action figures, (barbie and thunder cats or wwf figures), computer games, outdoor games and hide and seek. We also usually liked the same tv. It we think right through from childhood to teen years and we're still close.

PinkFluffiUnicorn Mon 20-Jun-16 18:18:56

Mine are ds16, ds12 &dd11, they have always had their arguing times but on the whole, they still play together, my ds16 helps dd11 make benches and houses for her dolls.

GraceGrape Mon 20-Jun-16 18:21:04

I have dds 6 and 3. They play together most of the time. I would say it is 70/30 between playing and fighting though!

tootsietoo Mon 20-Jun-16 18:23:58

Ha! It's ironic as I had a second child partly because I thought an only child would be lonely. And now my 9 yr old DD1 would do anything not to have her sister around, she would absolutely love to be an only child! Having said that, they do play together fairly often. Although it often ends in an argument.

If one child feels right for you, then stick at one child, all the only children I know are very happy! If two feels right, then have two. Or more!

AppleAndBlackberry Mon 20-Jun-16 18:25:41

I have 7 and 5 year old girls who are inseparable, I actually have to intervene to get them to do something with us occasionally. Not that they always get on but they're very rarely found doing different things.

Pico2 Mon 20-Jun-16 18:27:29

I wouldn't have a second as company for the first, it doesn't necessarily work out. But our 2 have a 4 year gap and do amuse each other for a while. You can feel lonely in a room full of people willing to engage with you - it has a lot to do with how you are feeling. I don't think our eldest was lonely before we had DC2 as we arranged lots of play dates and she is very outgoing. It is actually easier to do that for 1 than 2.

While DD1 was an only child I met a woman in a playground who said, 'Lucky you having just the one. My two squabble so much that it's like having 3, managing the relationship between them is like an extra child.'

OneArt Mon 20-Jun-16 18:27:41

I have two boys and a girl aged between 6 and 10, they all play together well but I agree not all siblings do. My brother and I played together as children but aren't close as adults. It varies in each family I guess.

bringonyourwreckingball Mon 20-Jun-16 18:28:28

My 2 girls (8 and 10) play together all the time, but the 10 year old does sometimes want time to herself. They don't fight much, just a bit of bickering and occasional trying to push buttons to provoke a reaction

captainproton Mon 20-Jun-16 18:28:45

It's a lottery, it boils down to personality and how jealousy/rivalry was tackled when the younger sibling was born.

My sister and I don't get on, we are just totally different. My eldest 2, a boy and girl are like Topsy and Tim they just love each other and mostly play well. I feel like my youngest is not going to have the same bond with her siblings, but that's what friends are for!

Barneythepurpledinowhore Mon 20-Jun-16 18:29:18

I did lots with my brothers but it's not going to be the same for all siblings. It very much depends on personalities, age gaps and so on. All children are different.

It sounds to me like the girl in your op is just a bit too young to fully play with the boy. I'd be surprised if a two year old got lonely in that way.

ExcellentWorkThereMary Mon 20-Jun-16 18:32:30

My children play together really well. They fight all the time too mind you...

iMatter Mon 20-Jun-16 18:35:05

Mine play together all the time. They are boys and 11 and 10 so I don't know if that makes a difference but they are best buddies. For now....

BackforGood Mon 20-Jun-16 18:37:17

The 2 dc you met are very young yet. It's perfectly normal for 2 yr olds not to be developmentally ready to play with other dc. At that stage, most will play alongside another child, but not with them. A 4 yr old, OTOH is massively further on with their development of social skills.
Do NOT base your decision on that conversation ! shock

Having dc isn't all about the first 2 or 3 (or eve 10 or 20) years. They will be very likely to be siblings for 80 - 90 years.

The time I was most glad to have siblings, was when my parents died, toward the end of my 30s. I have no recollection of being with my siblings when I was 2, 3, or 4.

When they are still children (although older than 2) it will depend on all sorts of things, from personality, to opportunity,, to age gaps, to interests, and so forth, but, most likely there will be times they play together, times they fight, and times they either ignore each other, or just wind one another up.

lighthouse17 Mon 20-Jun-16 18:38:00

Thank you for all your replies. I have 4.5 years between me and my sister and we never got on. Her personality is very different to mine and I also have a brother 9 years younger than me and he was more like someone I used to protect rather than play.
We have a neighbor opposite us and she said they get to have their own friends from school so no reason to provide a sibling for your child hmm

Terrifiedandregretful Wed 06-Jul-16 20:57:47

It depends entirely on the personality of the children involved. I wouldn't have a second dc if the only reason was to stop the first being lonely. I am sticking at one and dd is currently considerably happier than her little pals dealing with a new baby sibling!

OhHolyFuck Wed 06-Jul-16 21:40:33

My sons are 5.5 and 3.1 and looooove each other, the little one copies everything the older one does and the eldest still (fortunately) thinks it's cute and not annoying

I have a brother, we haven't spoken in 5+ years, it's hit and miss I think

bigTillyMint Wed 06-Jul-16 21:44:33

Mine are 18 months apart and always played together. They are still really close when they aren't arguing at 15 and 16 smile

DM hated her brother (5 years younger) until she was nearly 60, but I think that was because there was no real "family life" as their parents ran a chippy and there was a war.

MrsJoeyMaynard Wed 06-Jul-16 21:59:48

I think it depends entirely on the children's personalities and interests. No way of knowing in advance if they're going to be best friends forever or whether they'll be constantly clashing.

My 2 boys at the minute seem to swing between wanting to be in each other's pockets and squabbling because they both want the same toy and neither is willing to compromise.

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