Any other familys with 1 DC, live a long way from other relatives

(7 Posts)
Ohheavens Wed 26-Nov-14 22:15:59

We have 1 DD. I always wanted a sibling for her but it didn't happen and I do find I struggle sometimes. It was never my plan, but I am very lucky to have her, I know.

But we live a very long way from any other family member, I cant help thinking it makes it harder for me to deal with.

Any one else in the same situation. How do you find it?

Thank you for reading.

BigBird69 Wed 03-Dec-14 08:14:31

Hi, what do you struggle with? DH and I are both only children and we have one son. We literally don't have family, but I've never found it an issue as we have a strong network of friends etc. x

elQuintoConyo Wed 03-Dec-14 08:27:03

I'm abroad, so limited contact with my family (mostly Skype). But we'rea bout 2 miles from DH's family.

DFil is old and a little slow, too slow to run after our DS but still very doting, they like collecting sticks together. The rest of DH's family are all very busy with their own families.

So, we have emotional support but DS is 3 next week and nobody has ever had him for an afternoon or an evening so DH and I can go out.

My best friend is first on the list at school as someone to contact in case of emergency.

So, it's lovely that we SEE family, but they're bugger all help (but lovely).

I'm afraid we just get on with it. We get out and about as much as possible: park, woods, beach, town, McD's for a coffee and a free play on the MaccyD gym, or whatever it's called (strictly no nuggets!), we craft, we build dens, we silly dance to the radio, we play with cars for hours, we watch Minions... it can be relentless and tiring, but we're happy.

How old is your DD, Ohheavens ? Do you have friends with similar-aged DC? Is she at school?

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo Sun 07-Dec-14 08:27:48

DD is an only and now 15. My mum and (late) dad were a lot older, they lived 200 miles away. We lived close to her when DD until she was 4 but then we moved, she use to occasionally babysit for us but due to a bad babysitting experience with my brother she would often refuse. So it made no difference when we moved but she enjoyed us coming to stay with her. Tbh DD found it hard as it was always holiday programs, after school care, rides of other parents to activities etc for her as we both worked FT and she had no escape unlike a lot of her peers.

DH family live at the other end of the country (2 hour flight away), she only has 2 cousins who are late 20s and she's only met them twice. We might see PIL and his 2 sisters once a year. Which is a relief as we drive each other demented if we lived in spitting distance if each other, one visit and a few phone calls a year suits me fine.

I also use my best friend as an emergency for DD. I have 3 brother all live within 200 miles but all their dc are at least 8 years older than my DD and she sees them rarely but my brother's partner has 2 boys DD's age so they have been her 'cousins' at family gatherings, xmas and holidays etc but they have broken up more times than I've had hot dinners. My two brothers and SILs will always be here in an emergency (not childcare though), all of us are close up due to distance and busy lives we hardly get to catch up. I'm NC with my other brother.

Plarail123 Mon 04-May-15 09:42:24

I live abroad with one DC and no family at all (ex pats). I am very isolated and DH works a lot. I cope by appreciating the time I am getting to spend with my child as I went back to work when they were one and I am now a SAHM. I play with my child like a sibling, it's exhausting but I have to do it. The other day they said,"this piece of plastic is my best friend." It is upsetting and we miss our family but we are stuck here so making the best of it. TBH my family were never really that keen or involved before we moved. I'm not the first person to have done this and in sure DC will be fine. It isn't easy but it is our life and that's that!

Nolim Mon 04-May-15 09:45:20

I have one dc and if i had family support i may consider having a second. But as our families dont live locally we have no support at all, i think that having another dc in this situation would be impossible.

Stinkersmum Wed 06-May-15 15:10:28

I'll be having my first and only dc I'm October - I live abroad with no family here at all. Regular trips home and skype/facetime is the answer. My brother has one dc and our father has lived in another country for 13 years. My niece has a wonderful relationship with him. It's not necessarily about quantity of time, but quality of time spent with family members.

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