We always planned on 2... But now DH only wants one.

(10 Posts)
Newmum0113 Mon 23-Dec-13 02:25:21

My DD is 11 weeks tomorrow. Since we met I've always been open about wanting a big family - I've always wanted 4 DC. DH said 2 was a maximum as he is one of three and felt left out at times, and four was just 'impractical and expensive'.

Now DD has arrived, he's adamant he doesn't want anymore. When I was pregnant I wanted to talk about how soon we would have another but he didn't want to discuss it at the time, and then it never came back up in conversation.

Initially I agreed with him that I understand his reasons for only wanting one. (Finances , time available etc) but that in my heart I do want another. I don't usually argue with him but this is something I feel passionately about. I've been trying to convince myself I only want one , but it's not working.

And now I'm late. I'm scared to do a test because I'm scared of a result either way. It's making me lose sleep now. Precious sleep. And the stress of it could be what's causing my migraines. So I decided to post on here. Maybe opening up to someone about it might help me feel better.

NatashaBee Mon 23-Dec-13 02:39:58

I don't think many people could contemplate a second baby when their first is only 11 weeks old. They would most likely come around later though, when their first baby is a bit more independent. I couldn't even imagine doing it again till DS was nearly two. Do a test in the morning (higher hormone levels then).

Misfitless Mon 23-Dec-13 06:18:30

I sort of understand how you're feeling Newmum.

If you've had a traumatic birth, or your DH found it difficult seeing you in so much pain, it will still be fresh in his mind. And 11 weeks in, he's likely to still be feeling like his universe has been turned on its axis. He might not come round, but he might. And if you're already pregnant then he definitely will!

When my DC3 was a similar age I vividly remember standing in the kitchen and saying to DH 'She won't be our last, we'll have one more, won't we?'

He was very matter-of-fact in his 'No, I don't want any more,' reply, which made me sob!

I'm only telling you this because we had another one! NatashaBee is right - although I knew then and there that I wanted at least one more, at that moment in time, to my DH it was inconceivable.

Hope you get the result you are hoping for when you do the test. Keep us posted!

Newmum0113 Mon 23-Dec-13 16:48:04

Well, I've just had a call from my surgery saying my blood results are in, along with a prescription for folic acid, and the dr wants to see me Friday to discuss the results. I was told not to worry it was routine follow up on the results. Not been out today so couldn't get a test. Had a very small pinkish bleed this morning - don't know if it's a period if could be implantation bleed.

Labour was one hour and painful but not traumatic. I guess you're right it is really soon, but he was talking about a vasectomy so I think it scared me a bit.

Thanks for your support. I'll keep you posted!

Misfitless Mon 23-Dec-13 17:16:58

Are you OK, new? Frustrating for you to have to wait till Friday.
If it was anything serious, though, they'd have told you to go in today or tomorrow, so don't worry.
Thanks for the update!

Misfitless Mon 23-Dec-13 17:30:10

And good luck x

Newmum0113 Tue 24-Dec-13 16:16:42

I took a test and there was a faint line in the pregnant box on one test so I took the other but it didn't work at all. Typical! So now I'm not sure.

But I've got my period really heavy and very painful. Could I be having a mc? What do I do now?

armsandtheman Tue 24-Dec-13 16:36:42

Hope you are feeling a little better. I'm no expert, but could the v faint line be the residual hormones from your previous pregnancy? My bleeding was really heavy for the first period after pregnancy, but then I went on the pill.

If you are worried you are pregnant, I'd use a hot water bottle, paracetamol and TENs if you have it. At least whatever is going on then you are being safe.

Good luck with the decision on the second baby.

Bedsheets4knickers Tue 24-Dec-13 19:58:07

11 weeks I felt the same. 16 months later we couldn't wait to get preggers x

Misfitless Thu 26-Dec-13 16:33:29

Hope you're OK New. Have you had chance to do a repeat test?

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