Please Help My Wonderful Mummy

[DaddyThunder]

Hey guys.

My missus is sad and really scared that she is an awful mummy. She thinks this because our 4 week old boy cries a fair bit

Please help me tell her that she's doing a wonderful job! Babies cry a lot. She has been so busy and getting tired and teary.

He's had colic for two weeks solid and she's doing and and nice job of keeping him clean, healthy and happy!

Please help me convince her that a fair amount of crying is just ton be expected and that she's not an awful mum or anything silly.

JTx

[Mogz]

Hello MummyThunder, I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job. Newborns are hard (so I'm told, mine isn't quite here yet!) and it can take a long time to adjust. If you're feeling low keep talking to your lovely husband and perhaps make an appointment to speak to your GP or health visitor to check for any signs of post natal depression. All the hormones that have been swishing about over the past 9 months can leave us a bit out of sorts.
And DaddyThunder give your missus and your gorgeous newborn lots of hugs and keep supporting them both.

[cupoftchai]

awww. lots of good wishes to all of you. newborn days can be really hard, keep talking to each other!

[Patilla]

Having a newborn especially the first time is, I have found, like being hit by a cute but very hard brick wall. Repeatedly.

It does get easier, but it can feel like a real slog.

Go easy on yourself, rest whenever possible, consider each day a success, don't take their crying personally and remember that each day is a fresh start.

Try to get a little fresh air or cake where possible but don't get upset if your plans to do so fail. Plans are a thing of the past now and should be held lightly.

If the crying becomes overwhelming feel free to go to a dr even if just to chat to someone and consider going about the colic in any event as sometimes things like reflux which can be helped with medication, can be mid diagnosed as colic.

You will get through this, it will pass and before you know it you will be wishing they were a baby again and couldnt sulk/answer back/drag their heels when you are tying to get them out of school/couldn't complain when you gave them a hug lots but it is bloody hard in the meantime.

[Ellsbells32]

You're not an awful mum. Babies cry, it is their thing. Just do what it takes to make you both happy, rest up, let other people give you a break. He'll soon be onto another phase and this bit will be a distant memory

[Norudeshitrequired]

One of my babies had severe colic and he cried an awful lot, which was exhausting and upsetting. He settled down eventually after many many weeks of painful crying. Colic does eventually get better.
Mummy thunder - I feel your pain and I'm sure you are a great mummy.
Colic is just one of them things.

[TwoThreeFourSix]

I hit a wall at 4 weeks. I had been surfing along on little sleep and tons of hormones and then BAM. Wall.

Babies do cry, especialy if suffering from colic or reflux. This is not your fault! Be kind to yourself, see a Dr about your baby and speak to your HV about how you re feeling. I promise you you wont be the first woman ses met feeling like this.

[EvenFlo]

I posted a while back that I was struggling with a crying, colicky new baby.

We are now a couple of weeks (he is 6w on monday) on and things are getting a bit better. He still cries but not quite as much.

I had some absolutely wonderful advice to my own thread and couldn't even start to replicate it here so try and have a look at my previous post (called 'am I a terrible mother, in chat).

Having a baby is the hardest thing EVER, we just have to hang in there and take any help that is offered!

[SavoyCabbage]

When my baby was four weeks old I didn't know if it was day or night. Literally. I asked the postman why he was working at almost midnight. It was 11am. I lived in a flat so couldn't see the beaming sun.

The best advice I had when I had my first baby was "she's your baby" meaning don't feel guilty about picking her up when she cries or feeding her. Or whatever you feel is best. Not what your mother in laws cousins hairdresser thinks is best.

[DaddyThunder]

Thank you everybody. You're all so lovely. I'm just going to pop off and make sure she sees this now :D

[RiotBecky]

thank you everyone, think I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I haven't had a full nights sleep since before lo was born and I think it all caught up with me! he's been to the gp and been prescribed colief so after that and a lot of tummy massages he seems a bit better. I'll just keep reminding myself there is light at the end of the tunnel!

[Trooperslane]

How you doing now, Riot? Hope things are settling down a bit x

[RiotBecky]

things are a lot better now, lo is being treated for colic and it seems to be working, which in turn gives me more time in the day. also getting more sleep which is ace and my mum and dad have helped out in the night a few times too. thank you for asking