Would you stick with one child so you can pay for private school?

(5 Posts)
Jammee Tue 10-Sep-13 08:48:17

My DD is 8mo. DH and I always said we wanted 2 DCs, and quite close together. After DD was born, I still felt the same and thought I'd like us to TTC again when DD is one. DH was clearly daunted by the prospect of two DCs and started to suggest having just one DC. He now fluctuates between 1 and 2 children, and whilst I feel like I want a second one, and a sibling for DD, I also don't want her to have to lose my attention to a new baby.

DH and I are fortunate in that if we were careful we could send DD to private school but we could not afford to send 2 DCs to private school. When I think about it financially, one child makes so much more sense as we can give DD the best opportunities if she is our only child. But would she benefit more from a sibling?

I take medication which I cannot take if TTC, and it will take a while for me to ramp down the meds so that I can come off them, so we need forward planning for a second child, so trying to get opinions now even though we wouldn't consider TTC until next year at the earliest.

CatFromAcrossTheRoad Tue 10-Sep-13 11:35:10

I wouldn't. Whether it is right for you depends on how much you want the second child. If you feel that your family is more complete having two children, you might regret not having the second one later. Or maybe accept a bigger age gap (spreading the costs)

Bowlersarm Tue 10-Sep-13 11:39:20

But it's not as simple as that?

Your DH is now undecided about wanting another DC, and you would have to rethink your medication.

My children are privately educated, and whilst I love the fact that they are, I wouldn't have prioritised it over the number of children I wanted.

BlueShirtBlueTie Tue 24-Sep-13 23:18:38

I guess it would depend on the private school in question and what the state schools are like in your area. Not all private schools are good and there are some state schools that are actually better than some private schools. If you live in an area where the state schools are bad and you have a particular private school in mind then yes, personally I would stick with one child. That's just MO though. On the other hand if you live in an area with decent state schools then I wouldn't bother and certainly wouldn't let it put me off having another dc.

I take it relocating to an area with better state schools isn't an option?

moustachio Wed 25-Sep-13 21:42:36

I think that just having one for the sole reason of sending your DD to private school is silly. I have several friends who were privately educated their whole lives, and got much worse grades at a level/degree level than I did. A lot didn't even complete degrees! I know it's not all about academic achievement, but if I spent thousands on education, id see it as an investment for my DC and therefore would expect him to succeed.

Sending DS to private school is one of the reasons we stopped at one, but not one of the main ones. Giving him more financially overall is a big reason though! It's alot easier to pay for tickets to themeparks/flights/nice meals when you don't have lots of mouths to feed. I also have better earning potential, not taking another years career/maternity break.

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