Fucking sick of the "race" to have number 2

(30 Posts)
LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 12-Nov-12 13:23:06

Have dc already and we will be ttc number 2 in dec. no one in rl knows bar us.

Most of my other mum friends, nct group, work colleagues, neighbours who have 1 are ttc number 2 and a lot of them have made it into this stupid race.

I want no part of it.

Am sick of the smug comments of "oh am so relieved I've got pg with number 2 so easily.....so glad I will have the optimum age age....so glad I won't be an old mum"

When did parenting, pregnancy etc be a competitive sport!

philbee Thu 22-Nov-12 21:02:19

I also found your post reassuring differentnameforthis. DD is 4 now and I'm 20 weeks pg but only after mc and trying for a year afterwards.

OP, there are always going to be idiots banging on about their situation being best, they do it about feeding, working, childcare, age gaps, bike seats, anything! I think often that comes from defensiveness. But there will also be people, like us, who have problems and take longer, or decide to stop at one, or can't have a second. Those people gradually emerge and it is a comfort when you realise they're there too. Don't let the others get to you.

differentnameforthis Fri 23-Nov-12 09:34:27

philbee I am glad that you found it reassuring. Good luck!

sarah341 Tue 27-Nov-12 08:01:34

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BuckyMummy Mon 17-Dec-12 15:27:11

I know exactly what you mean LoveYouForeverMyBaby, I am experiencing a similar thing with some of my friends, the difference is i'm not ttc. I am getting sick of listening to that conversation though!

I think it is because some women just have to make everything into a competition/tell everyone how amazing they are! "I got pregnant EXACTLY when we planned both times..." etc. It's just boasting. Ignore them, good luck getting pregnant, laugh them off and don't get dragged in!

I second avoiding baby groups, and Facebook. I have been trying to have a second child for two years now. Every single person I met when DD was a baby has now had another, no bother at all, I have just had repeated later losses and complications. I became so sick of the comments or pitying looks that I just stopped seeing any of these people, the final straw was somebody asking if I'd given up TTC because the age gap would now be too big. I am finally pregnant again but terrified of yet another loss. I fully admit I am massively jealous of the ease with which they all 'completed' their families and I'm afraid they do often appear smug to me, but I accept I'm bitter and also try to take comfort from having been able to spend lots of time with DD.

WRT only children, my DD has cousins around her age whom she adores and I like to think we strike a balance between her spending weekends with them and learning to socialise but also having lots of individual time with me or her dad. I have siblings I am close to and would like that for her whereas DH has siblings he has almost no contact with so he doesn't really think it's a loss.

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