Concerns about my nursery

(28 Posts)
parentforosh Thu 04-Apr-13 16:01:06

Hi,

I have a 26 month old boy who is currenlty at a nursery in the Westend. They have recently reported that his behaviour is disruptive and unruly and have told me that they can not change his nappies becuase he takes tantrums when they try (he apparently kicks them). Yesterday they left him in the same nappy all day!

We have never seen any evidence of this behaviour - infact he is one of the most reasonable toddlers we know and he always plays well with others when we are out. Obvisouly he does have tantrums etc but he is quite easy to distract with a toy or an activity and its certainly never got the stage with us that we have grown concerned.

He is also sent home a lot - 4 times in the last 4 weeks due to "illness" which has turned into nothing....

Any suggestions? I think its an issue with the experience of the staff in his room? They are quite new and quite junior but Im worried that he will learn bad behaviour if they cant handle him - AND that they may decide they dont like him and treat him poorly.

Anyway - Im looking to move him - any suggestions for a nursery in the westend?

Thanks

DialMforMummy Thu 04-Apr-13 16:26:12

I don't think that is good enough. In fact, I think this is is appalling.
I would take it up to the room leader or/and the nursery manager.
Unruly and disruptive behaviour is pretty normal for a 2 yo, you are quite right, they should be able to deal with this type of normal 2 year oldish behaviour. Does he "misbehave" because he is bored, I wonder?

I also think it is totally unacceptable not to change him because he kicks, surely he is not Mike Tyson, is he? Again, if this is the case, it all comes down to behaviour management.

For the illness side of things, say clearly that unless he has a temperature or diarrhea and vomitting, he does not need to be sent home.
Was this nursery always this bad?
I'd look into moving him asap.

MintyyAeroEgg Thu 04-Apr-13 16:27:29

What is the westend?

ReetPetit Thu 04-Apr-13 20:03:01

Sounds very strange! Is this one of those awful chain nurseries? If so, i think the standard of care is generally poor, staff young inexpetienced and underpaid.
To be perfectly honest, it all sounds a bit odd. A 26 mth old left in same nappy all day because he is so aggrressive? Either this is a very bad nursery or your ds does have some issues which you are not 'seeing'

LadyWidmerpool Thu 04-Apr-13 20:10:31

Irrelevant but my daughter goes to a chain nursery and it's very good.

I wouldn't be impressed with this at all. Of course a two year old is going to have strops and they are generally quite 'unruly'. A chat with the manager is definitely called for.

Pozzled Thu 04-Apr-13 20:19:03

Yes, I would be concerned. I'd want to know why his behaviour is so very different at nursery. It could be a case of different expectations, but if not it sounds as though he's not happy there. How verbal is he? Is he able to tell you much about nursery? Does he seem happy when dropped off?

The nappy issue is definitely a concern- toddlers are often very resistant to nappy changes, it's hardly surprising. Most nurseries are really experienced in dealing with it, but even if not, they can't leave him in the same nappy all day.

If it were my child, I'd want to see what hewas doing- could they take a video next time he has a tantrum?

purple15 Thu 04-Apr-13 20:35:16

This is the problem of the Nursery. Whilst he is in their control, it is upto them to control his behaviour.

parentforosh Thu 04-Apr-13 20:41:11

Thank you - that's all really helpful. We're going to speak to the manager tomorrow (at their request).

Im really anxious about this - they have also stopped cleaning his teeth and leave him behind when they go to the park - its baffling as he is really not disruptive at all when we look after him and he is fine wiht my mum when she takes him one day a week too.

JellyMould Thu 04-Apr-13 20:46:22

I would be looking for somewhere else ASAP. They have clearly decided they can't handle him for whatever reason and your son is suffering because of it.

DialMforMummy Thu 04-Apr-13 20:49:26

So what exactly are they doing with him then? angry
Don't feel anxious, they are in the wrong.

My DD went through a stage of being a total demon when having her nappy changed.

DS just went through similar (though I had the "sitting on him moves" down pat this time round).

At no point did their nurseries fail to change a nappy.

If the staff can't handle a 2 year old, that's a problem with them, not your son.

DialMforMummy Thu 04-Apr-13 20:50:06

And yes, find a new nursery asap.

ReetPetit Thu 04-Apr-13 20:56:05

i do find this all very odd tbh. personally, i would withdraw him with immediate effect. i would not be happy for my ds to be in such a negative environment. it seems they really dislike him for some reason. are there any qualified staff there? what is the manager saying???

hellonewworld Thu 04-Apr-13 20:57:40

Personally i would just move him, you are paying and trusting them to take care of your son and they are failing and I think leaving him behind when taking a trip to the park is grossly immature and verging on spiteful and leaving him in a dirty nappy all day is verging on neglect. Extremely unprofessional conduct. I wouldn't even bother discussing it or waiting to see if the situation improves to be honest I would just take him out.

New nursery definitely. My experience of nursery with DD is that she is better behaved there because it is well structured and all the children know what they should be doing and when. When I mentioned this to the nursery they said that many parents notice that their children are better behaved at nursery. The staff should be experts in toddlers, it is their job. Generally there should always be a member of staff in the room at all times who has seen it all before and knows the tricks of getting a wriggly child's nappy changed and how to deal with and preempt more challenging behaviour. Do the staff have qualifications or are they working towards them?

Stubbed56 Thu 04-Apr-13 21:03:04

If this was happening to my son, I would be referring the nursery to Ofsted. It sounds like neglect to me.

ReetPetit Thu 04-Apr-13 21:17:52

it does sound like neglect - and also bullying - awful.

very strange to me how a child can be so different in two situations. you say he is fine at home, fine with your mum but so badly behaved at nursery that none of the staff can control him confused it makes me wonder what exactly is going on there. What does your ds say about nursery? is he happy to go? Scared to go?

parentforosh Thu 04-Apr-13 21:24:38

He has a very sunny nature so he is pretty positive about everything. He does generally enjoy going in but he is sometimes a bit subdued when we pick him up.

Im going to move him ASAP - I wish I could just stop taking him but we both work and dont have any alternative....

olivertheoctopus Thu 04-Apr-13 21:26:31

Get him the hell out of there. Any nursery that can't manage to change a nappy ALL DAY on a 2 yo, no matter how allegedly stroppy, is a concern.

ReetPetit Thu 04-Apr-13 21:28:15

go on the council website - is it Camden? and get a list of childminders in the area - or try childcare.co.uk - you may find you can get a childminder to start as soon as Monday if you are lucky.

I really think you owe it to your boy to get him out, as in, not take him back there - there is something severely wrong there....

I agree, new childcare and call Ofsted about this one! Have you got any available relatives who could do a couple of days whilst you find somewhere?

Welovegrapes Thu 04-Apr-13 21:46:24

Friend of friend had a dd at this nursery:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/nurseries/1040037-Great-Nursery-in-Marble-Arch/AllOnOnePage

She spoke highly of it. It is in a Jewish centre, but iirc half of the kids are other/no faiths.

Worth a look?

karenflower Thu 04-Apr-13 21:47:06

Move him AND report them to ofsted imo

Welovegrapes Thu 04-Apr-13 21:48:53

Found their own site now - apparently they are now outstanding rated. I think they were only good when my friend's dd went there:

www.beginnings.org.uk/news.php?newsid=6

racheyp Fri 05-Apr-13 19:08:26

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

parentforosh Mon 05-Aug-13 08:50:48

Hi

Thanks for your input. We have removed our son from teh nurery and he has started at a child minders in the short term until he goes to a new nursery after Christmas. He is like a different child now and so his behaviour was definitely a symptom of something wrong at the nursery.

I am still struggling with the old nursery as they are chasing me for payment of a month's fees. We finally decided to withdraw him after the Nursery Manager told us he was unhappy and the staff were no longer willing to look after him (he started to bite - but only once a week at worst). I withdrew him but now they want payment even though I didnt feel I had any option!

I am going to report them to the Care Inspectorate. I will keep you posted.

insancerre Mon 05-Aug-13 10:50:15

sounds like an awful nursery
put everything in writing to the nursery, saying why you withdrew him and why you are not paying
if the staff are no longer willing to look after him then I don't see why you should have to pay
also report them to ofsted

moogy1a Tue 03-Sep-13 09:28:13

Good to hear he's happy now.
Why don't you leave him with the CM permanently if he's happy there rather than disrupting him again?

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