to be upset with Nursery for letting my 18 month old play out in this weather when she's been in hospital 3 times this year with pneumonia and breathing difficulties

(39 Posts)
designergirl Fri 23-Nov-12 20:45:16

I just went to pick my daughter up, it's really windy, cold and starting to rain and she was playing outside as were all the other children her age. She has been in hospital 3 times this year with pneumonia and breathing difficulties, in February,July and September. I wouldn't let her play out in this weather at home and I was so upset with the staff that I shouted at them. I wrote in her book that she has a hat, mittens and scarf but she didn't have any of them on, and I saw her fall over. I think the wind blew her over but she might have just fallen over.Am I being unreasonable?
I know OFSTED require them to play outside and generally I don't mind her playing out. I just think it's a bit lacking in common sense to let her play out in this awful weather. The wind is so strong it's just blown an empty hanging basket all the way down our street.

NickNacks Fri 23-Nov-12 20:46:47

Hmm didn't you post this the other day?

And I'm guessing you didn't like the responses??

missymoomoomee Fri 23-Nov-12 20:48:54

You posted this the other day and were told you were in the wrong. What are you hoping for here? You clearly think you are right so why do you care what anyone else thinks?

Sirzy Fri 23-Nov-12 20:49:59

You are still being as unreasonable as you were last time you asked!

Children still benefit from fresh air!

I have no idea about your other thread but I wouldn't really want my ds playing out in this weather and I'd be a bit hmm about it. I wouldn't shout though. Maybe if he'd been in hospital 3 times I would have though. I'm all for playing outside but it's been really nasty the last couple of days.

ilikefestivitea Fri 23-Nov-12 20:54:36

I reckon you need something other than nursery for childcare. I would be seriously pissed of if dd was stopped from playing outside because one parent made a fuss. I chose a nursery because the children had free flow to the garden in all weathers (with appropriate clothing). Are all.the other children meant to be kept inside all winter because of your dd.

Also, no one should be.shouted at when they are working - hope the manager has serious words shouting at staff when there are children around.

madwomanintheattic Fri 23-Nov-12 20:55:49

Afaik wind isn't generally implicated in pneumonia.

I know when dd2 kept ending up with it, it was a reet pita, but it didn't occur to me that wind that the cause. Or rain. <ponders>

Nope, when ds1 ended up with double pneumonia, it was c/o rsv (that was a bitch). Of all of the times dd2 did, it was usually either aspiration or actual honest to goodness germs picked up presumably from other kids she was at nursery with.

I hear cotton wool might be on special, though. You should be able to pick up enough of it to make a comfy nest to hide her in until July?

I do feel for you. It's awful when they are little. And some kids are just more receptive to bugs and the like.

If it's recurrent, have they checked her swallow? Is she having choking episodes? Quite often aspiration can be silent as well.

Weather has feck all to do with it. I live in Canada. Even in kindergarten they have outdoor play down to -20. grin

exoticfruits Fri 23-Nov-12 20:57:01

I didn't see the other one but I would have thought it was good for all DCs if appropriately dressed.

SamSmalaidh Fri 23-Nov-12 20:57:47

Did you tell them that she wasn't allowed outside today?

To be honest, so long as she was dressed appropriately then she should be fine. As for the hat etc, is she able to put those on herself or ask for them? With the best will in the world, if the staff are trying to get 20+ children in and out it is hard to ensure everyone has their mittens on.

exoticfruits Fri 23-Nov-12 20:58:39

Shouting at staff is not a good idea if you want to be taken seriously.

SamSmalaidh Fri 23-Nov-12 21:00:28

Ah, just seen she is only 18 months rather than a 3 year old - in that case she should be in a 1:3 ratio and staff should have ensured her hat, scarf and mittens were on. Having a meeting with her keyworker/manager about that is probably the way to go.

catkind Fri 23-Nov-12 21:01:58

Have you asked nursery to keep her in? Though think they'd be within their rights to say if she's not well enough to play outside she should be at home. But e.g. they might be able to put her with another age group for the time her group are outdoors. Unless you tell them they won't know you don't want her out.
They should have put her hat on though.

Floggingmolly Fri 23-Nov-12 21:02:51

Doesn't Ofsted require nursery children to have constant access to outside play? All part of the child led learning initiative. I doubt very much the wind blew her over, and fresh air, cold as it may be doesn't cause illness.
Ywbvu to shout at the nursery staff.

drcrab Fri 23-Nov-12 21:06:56

Hm. I get what you are saying. I don't think you should have shouted at them but I think you need to make it clear that you didn't want your child outside whilst ill. So her key worker could have stayed indoors with child and other children and do puzzles or read a book or something. Not all children would want to go out in the rain/cold. I know my child wouldn't and she's 2. They are given free flow play which means yes you can go out. But equally they can stay in.

Sirzy Fri 23-Nov-12 21:09:20

There is nothing in the OP to suggest the child is ill now though. She last was ill in September according to the OP so at least 6 weeks back.

EscapeInTheCity Fri 23-Nov-12 21:10:00

Actually recent studies have shown that being cold lowers the immune system so makes the person more likely to get a cold.....

Apart from that, if the nursery has been informed of her illnesses and they have been told she needs to get put with hat, scarf etc... and they also know you do not want her to be cold (so they need to be able to take her inside even though other children are still outside), then YANBU.

I have to say, I am hmm about ofsted and the idea that children should have free access t outside. When children arrive in nursery/primary school, no one send children outside when it's raining.

HandMini Fri 23-Nov-12 21:10:47

I think the nursery was wrong to have them playing outside today without making sure they were properly bundled up (and stayed properly bundled up...18 month olds are forever pulling their hats off etc, nursery should keep an eye on that).

I don't think the nursery was wrong to have them playing outside as a matter of policy even if cold / snowy / rainy etc.

EscapeInTheCity Fri 23-Nov-12 21:11:13

I also get why you would be careful with a child who has been ill like this 3 times in less than a year.
I would assume her immune system is down for some reasons and woud want to take more precautions than for a child who never gets ill.

YABU. You shouted at the staff so you're totally unreasonable and irrational. It's wind,Iif its strong enough to knock a child down then there must be a lot of major damage in your area.

Fresh air is better than being couped up indoors with all the snot and germs that actually cause illnesses

drcrab Fri 23-Nov-12 21:13:50

Clearly her immunity is low if she's been so ill three times already. So being cold will make her more vulnerable.

Sirzy Fri 23-Nov-12 21:14:49

being couped up inside is worse for immunity.

It may have been windy but its not particularly cold. There is no reason a child shouldn't be outside with a coat on.

missymoomoomee Fri 23-Nov-12 21:16:03

You forgot to mention that you sent her in with a hat and mittens and didn't tell the staff not to let her play outside.

designergirl Fri 23-Nov-12 21:17:27

Thank you. I didn't repost because I didn't like the answers. I just posted in another forum to see what other people thought. I don't get why you are being so nasty, my child nearly died. I have 4 children. They all play outside in all weathers and have done since Nursery. My youngest has been very ill. I want to make sure she doesn't get that ill again. She's under the care of a consultant and the Respiratory Community Nurses. Sarcastic remarks about cotton wool is not helpful at all.

CindySherman Fri 23-Nov-12 21:18:21

I would have been furious she was not wrapped up. I see your point completely. Pneumonia is very serious.

missymoomoomee Fri 23-Nov-12 21:20:08

You should have specified her needs to the nursery staff then. They aren't mind readers.

Sirzy Fri 23-Nov-12 21:20:31

You are still over reacting.

I know its scary to see your child so ill, I really do I have been there more than once. But keeping her indoors won't stop her from getting ill.

You are trying to wrap her in cotton wool (understandably) but that won't help her at all. You need to work with the nursery to make sure she is kept safe while not making her seem different to her peers.

There is no reason she can't play out when her peers do. If she is well enough to be in nursery she is well enough to join in.

designergirl Fri 23-Nov-12 21:22:12

Seriously? Do you have to be a mind reader to know that if a child has been seriously ill she needs t be wrapped up warm to play outside? That is common sense, not being a mind reader

Sirzy Fri 23-Nov-12 21:23:30

She had a coat on didn't she?

Did she feel cold when you picked her up?

SamSmalaidh Fri 23-Nov-12 21:25:42

Did you explain to the staff that she shouldn't play outside/must be wrapped up?

I wonder if nursery is the right environment for a sick child - there will be lots of bugs, outside play, water play etc.

drcrab Fri 23-Nov-12 21:26:53

Maybe it's being explicitly clear that you will only want her out there if she's wrapped up. I think that's a fair point. My son has a suppressed immune system but he still goes to school. He is well enough to go to school. But if there's some infectious disease going around and he gets it, he'll take much longer to recover. School knows this. Doesn't stop me sending him to school.

I have friends who send their kids to nursery and instruct nursery not to let them have sweets (puddings or chocolate or ice cream). So they have a plain biscuit. It's not a diet related issue. Just a parental preference. And nursery is fine with that. And they follow instructions.

missymoomoomee Fri 23-Nov-12 21:30:01

Oh, so now she wasn't wrapped up warmly? Didn't she have a coat and a cardigan/jumper on?

If you don't want her playing outside then you need to tell the staff, not get indignant about it after the event.

steppemum Fri 23-Nov-12 21:37:54

OP - I used to live in a country where it was -20 C during the day outside. All the children were encouraged to play outside.

Yes of course they should be properly dressed, but if she has a good coat and is running around, then actually the hat and scarf may not be necessary. There is also a big difference between running around when you stay warm from the exercise and standing around where you might get very cold. As to the wind, well it is great fun to be out in the wind feeling it push against you and feeling as if you could fly if it picked you up.

She is more likely to get ill cooped up inside with all the cold bugs going round.

I really do understand your concerns. My youngest dd has had some big health issues and spent a lot of time in hospital. But she isn't going to get pneumonis from a short time running around in the wind

stella1w Fri 23-Nov-12 21:40:30

Yanbu. I had a similar situation. Just told the nursery to keep her in in cold or wet weather. I wdn,t send my kids out to play in bad weather. Conversely if it was good weather i,d have them out more. Talk to your gp

Of course you want to protect her! I understand that. And I expect you are feeling unconfortable that you got emotional about it and ended up shouting.

I'm a hugely over protective parent and I live in Scandinavia where kids play outdoors in all westhers. Consensus here is that it reduces the spread of bugs at nursery/preschool not to have them cooped up indoors.

I think appropriate clothing might be the key. Toddlers are terrible for taking things off, so try and send her with layers.

I do think it's staff's job to ensure she is weather-appropriately dressed if you provide the right gear.

Could you go through her wardrobe at the weekend and see that she has good stuff, then call the manager on Monday morning and make a plan together about your DD's outdoor time.

Apologise to the staff. Even if you feel you're just doing it to be the bigger person. You want things to be smooth and happy for your DD there.

I'm sure you can sort it out!

yousankmybattleship Fri 23-Nov-12 21:46:06

You are massively over reacting. Children should be outside as much as possible and it is not yet that cold. You can't expect the nursery to think they should be wrapping your child up like she's going on an arctic expedition just becasue she was ill weeks ago. If you really are that fussy you should give clearer instructions to the nursery or keep her at home.

designergirl Fri 23-Nov-12 21:49:06

I have apologised

Sirzy Fri 23-Nov-12 21:49:51

What are you going to do in Winter when they go out to play in the snow? Or on a cold morning?

ReallyTired Fri 23-Nov-12 21:52:56

I have complete sympathy with the OP. The nursery staff should make sure that she is dressed properly for going outside.

I would not be happy with my children going outside in the rain and they are older than 18 months.

madwomanintheattic Fri 23-Nov-12 22:35:20

Not having mittens and a scarf isn't going to make that much difference. I've already told you that my own dd2 suffered several bouts of pneumonia (she has cerebral palsy due to birth injury and has a history of respiratory issues) which were scary, and that ds2 had rsv and double pneumonia (he was 10 weeks old).

Coat is fine. You're in the UK. It ain't that cold.

Yes, it's natural to have heightened concern, but you need to look at it sensibly. A bit of playing in the fresh air with a coat on but no mittens is fine, however windy it is. She was probably having a whale of a time.

If she isn't well enough to take part in the normal nursery curriculum, you need to get that team of yours to come up with a care plan that includes a modified curriculum (ie no outdoors play) and to consider a different method of childcare - nurseries are absolute hotbeds of germs, not the place for a kid with immune issues.

But anyway, nice of you to point out the oozing sarcasm, and not the functional part of my post, which was the considered cause of her pneumonia.

Sooooooo, back to swallowing then. Any chance she is aspirating? Or is this just bog standard nursery germs?

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