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how long would you give unhappy 17 month old to settle before giving up and getting nanny at whatever cost?

3 replies

Gemzooks · 07/03/2008 21:19

I'm the mum from the 'nappy' thread (they failed to change his nappy on his second day at the nursery)..

DS has now been 5 times to the nursery, for longer and longer periods. Each time he has cried a lot, although also played a bit, has refused his lunch (normally eats loads), and has refused to sleep, ended up being put to sleep in a buggy.

The staff say that he's only OK when he's getting one on one attention, and otherwise he basically cries (roars with rage, not crying tears), all the time. They are seeming to imply that he's particularly difficult, and one of them said she doesn't think he can handle being in a nursery. It doesn't help that we're in Holland, so it's a new language for him and he doesn't understand anything they say to him (although seems to be learning things like 'eat' quite quickly)...

They have 16 kids from 0-4 in one group with 3 staff members, so it is super loud and stressy, he is on the waiting list for literally 15 other nurseries but it's impossible to get a place in any of them, this is the only option for now.

Has anyone else had this and at what point did you give up? Supposed to be starting work 3 days a week so he has to have some form of childcare, but don't want him to be miserable! Any advice appreciated!

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fingerwoman · 07/03/2008 21:30

gosh, well I am not surprised he is unsettled, being in a large group of children with so few staff and all in a different language.

Personally I would take him out and get a nanny if you can afford it.
what other options do you have? is there such a thing as a childminder over there? any chance of a bilingual setting anywhere?

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milliec · 08/03/2008 15:32

Message withdrawn

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babbi · 08/03/2008 19:26

To be honest I dont think the language is the problem here.<br /> He is very small to be in such a big group, I dont think that he will be getting very much individual attention, and even when he gets one to one I can imagine the staff being harassed and not particularly focussed on him as they have so many to look after - I feel their minds will be constantly moving to the next thing in their obviously hectic day.
I dont think he is particularly difficult as you think the staff seem to imply - more that through the high ratios they are not meeting his needs . I can see why the nappy went soo long unchanged with so many in the group.<br /> We are constantly going back and forth between Spain and UK and have done so since DD was 3 months . ( Now 2.5) the language has never been a problem as when they are so young they respond more to body language.<br /> DD at 18 months sat on a Spanish ladies knee on the bus ( we just got on and the lady put her arms out to her and DD was happy to go !)<br /> The lady chatted and played with her for more than half an hour and DD giggled throughout - the ladys tone and smiles was what she understood and she was very happy there !
I would suggest a nanny if you can. I dont think the attitude of the staff is too great - telling you he cant handle it sounds to me like they either dont have the time or cant really be bothered to try hard at helping him settle.
You Ds deserves better.
Good luck !!

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