Not settling at nursery!

(9 Posts)
Botot Tue 16-Aug-16 17:49:05

My now 1 year old started nursery two months ago when I went back to work and is not settling at all. She cries almost all day, won't sleep, barely eats and won't take milk from her key worker. I don't have any worries about the nursery itself, she is just a sensitive little soul. She only goes 1 day a week atm and I know she would probably settle better if she went more often but that's not an option right now. Has anyone else had a baby who took a long time to settle? Really looking for reassurance from someone who has experienced this as i'm finding it so stressful. Her whole body goes rigid when we walk through the doors!

fabulous01 Tue 16-Aug-16 17:58:37

Hi. Mine have been going for 6 months. One settled in a day....other took a little long ie weeks. I have seen babies who don't settle and it is those that aren't there a lot. One baby is the same at my nursery and always seems unsettled and only there a day a week. If it will only be one day think about wearing a scarf for it to get your smell and then sending it with baby?
It took a girl at work 4 months for hers to settle. No sleeping, no eating but she got there.
But if really not case and you can't do that ( I did wonder how she copes with guilt etc but you just sometimes have no choice) but some babies settle more in childminder setting
Good luck. It took me the longest to settle but they do get a lot from it

insancerre Wed 17-Aug-16 06:23:12

What have the nursery suggested?
Have you discussed your concerns with them?
As she only does one day its going to take longer for her to settle
In 2 months she will have attended around 8 times, compared to a full-timer who will have attended around 40 times

Ask the nursery if they will do a home visit, as seeing her layperson in familiar surroundings will reassure your child
Most importantly, make sure your child is not picking up on your anxiety. Keep goodbyes brief and positive. Hand her over to her key person and keep smiling and walk away. The same on pick up, try to keep it positive

Does she have a favourite toy or song? Let her key person know so she can learn how to distract her when she starts to cry.

Remember, this age is the worse for seperation anxiety but babies are capable of forming multiple attachments and it will get better

fabulous01 Wed 17-Aug-16 06:37:13

Hi. Agree with poster. We were told girls settled well as I am in and out. It is hard to leave a crying baby but it must be done.....
But yes speak to them.

waitinglistquery Wed 17-Aug-16 06:47:10

Dd1 started nursery at the same age and was very unhappy for the first month, then something clicked and she loved it from then onwards - a total transformation! She went 3 days a week, so as you've said, it may take longer with only one day a week.

I would agree with taking a favourite toy, and staying as positive as you can (even if you don't feel it!) flowers

StrawberryLeaf Wed 17-Aug-16 06:54:38

Yes, my daughter went to nursery (she's just starting school now). It was a nice nursery but DD was never very settled, we went through better periods. The nursery were good, they suggested bringing a special teddy and also always having the same person meeting her at the door (key worker).

In all honesty she went through more settled periods and worse periods but was never one of those kids who would run off and love nursery.

For my second dd and older dd I now use a childminder, what a difference. They love the home environment and I never have a problem sending them in even though they only go 1 day. I think my kids are just better suited to that environment and it's made my life a lot easier!

Good luck and I hope she settled, it's such a stressful thing.

Wellywife Wed 17-Aug-16 07:03:35

You're not going to like this but while DS practically skipped into nursery, DD never settled. She went 4 days a week for 6 months before I threw in the towel and became a SAHM.

FWIW she settled at school nursery very well a few years later.

HSMMaCM Wed 17-Aug-16 08:00:27

I agree with what everyone else said. She's only been 8 times and 1 day a week makes it harder for her as it feels like a lifetime before she goes back again. Teddy and song suggestions were spot on too.

Botot Mon 22-Aug-16 13:19:32

Thank you everyone! She takes her favourite teddy smothers in my perfume! and we've even let her have her dummy all day there which she normally only has to sleep with! Still no luck but hopefully we will get there. Nursery have asked if we can pop in for an hour mid week to see if that helps and they are changing her key worker as they haven't bonded. Hopefully something might give soon!

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