Nursery and baby led weaning

[soundsystem]

DD is 8 months, we've been soon BLW and she now eats 3 meals a day plus snacks.

She's just started nursery 3 days a week and they asked what we wanted to do re food: they offered to purée the meals to feed her. I've said I'm happy for her to be given the same meals as the bigger kids, unpureed/mushed and left to get on with it.

So the first days either DH or I have been there helping her settle in. Day one lunch was cheesy pasta: great, she picked up handfuls and fed herself. Day two: chilli con carne. Not really ideal for self feeding, so key worker fed her with a spoon. DD didn't make a mega fuss but was a bit confused I think and a bit upset/frustrated.

So, any ideas?

On the days it's something she can't easily feed herself do I send her with an alternative? Or am I being a bit precious and need to let them get on with it?

Go easy on me, she's my PFB and she's only been at nursery two days, I accept I may be overthinking this!

[Tigresswoods]

It's fine, let her/them get on with it. I'm 35 & sometimes I eat mushed up things off of a spoon.

[Lilipot15]

I'm sorry but I don't understand the rigidity of BLW. I would want my child to experience the different foods they are being offered at nursery, and obviously to get adequate nutrition through a day at nursery she may well need spoon feeding when they are eating things like chilli.

I'd relax and let them go with it.

I didn't consciously do a specific type of weaning and still have a child who eats well (despite some adverse experiences with food allergies), both finger feeding and increasingly competently using cutlery herself.

If you're really worried, discuss more with nursery - I'm sure you're not the only parent who's done BLW.

[Lilipot15]

Ps I would also be looking at the positives that you are not having to prepare and clean up the meals that she will be having at nursery. I do enjoy not having that task to do on nursery days :-)

[Whatabout]

I asked for food from the next room up and for him to be left to get on with it. As food is for fun before one i would give him some extra milk if required but felt the experiencing of different textures and flavours was more important than whether he managed to feed himself as much as another child was fed.

Your child, your choices and don't let people undermine your choices.

[gallicgirl]

We did blw with DD and she started nursery at 11 months. At that point she wouldn't eat anything off a spoon but was using one within a week or so of starting nursery which made me a bit suspicious. I arrived early one afternoon to find her being fed mushed up food with a spoon, despite the nursery assuring me that they would do blw!
I had a chat with the manager and key worker who spoke to health visitor about blw so they could be sure they were doing it right. I appreciated that sometimes spoon feeding might have to take place but on whole I believe blw took place.
My DD was there 5 days and continued to feed blw at home too.

What I'm trying to say is talk to nursery to reiterate their understanding of blw and the skills your child picks up at home should be fine. I would definitely push the request for solid food though.

[HSMMaCM]

A baby can still help lead with a spoon. They can help hold the spoon and will soon let an adult know when they've had enough. As long as the adult is responding to the child and letting them lead, then I think a combination of hands and spoon is fine, so the baby gets used to a range of flavours and textures.

[downgraded]

Surely the object of weaning is "baby eats food".

If baby is eating food, can you not just let them get on with it?

You are being precious imho

[TellUsAboutItLater]

In the nicest possible way op, I think you're over thinking it. She's being fed, they've got to be practical, some days the food won't be appropriate for her to eat with her hands, it's fine.

[Mehitabel6]

I really don't understand why BLW restricts the poor child so they can't eat anything that needs a spoon. Surely the baby chose to eat it so it was baby led? I think it all comes from the idea that you can force a baby to eat something it doesn't want - clearly from people who haven't tried it! If the baby doesn't want it the baby won't eat it.
Weaning is a very short period and it really doesn't matter- it has no bearing at all in future eating habits.
It is only for the odd meal at nursery.
It always strikes me that baby led is always mother led and unless the poor child could say 'excuse me, I would love some yoghurt on a spoon' they don't stand a chance of doing any leading!

[Mehitabel6]

BLW strikes me as a very rigid system which leaves out a lot of different foods and textures.

[T1meout]

Definitely let them feed her with a spoon.

I did blw rigidly with dd2 because I was writing about it. She still puts her hands in her food.

[KnockMeDown]

If they do need to feed her something with a spoon, just ask them to let her have a spoon to hold, and pretty soon she will be using one herself.

As adults we use cutlery, surely it can't be that be that bad for her to start learning to use it too

[T1meout]

One of the great things about nursery is they introduce your kid to things you deem dangerous. Remember giving my dd scissors for the 'first' time and being amazed at how adept she was - she's been using them at nursery for at least a year.

[jessplussomeonenew]

At 8mo I'd let your child loose on chilli con carne; it will be messy but a great way to start learning pincer grip and raking. However at first relatively little will get in, which can be frustrating for a child, so I'd send a small finger food snack, to have at the same time, if dinner looks difficult. By 9-10 months you shouldn't need to send the snack any more. 8mo is also a good time to offer preloaded spoons for things like yoghurt - surprising how quickly they pick up how to use them!

[downgraded]

They can practice pincer grip and raking with raisins.

With chilli?

[jessplussomeonenew]

My only worry would be if it was hot chilli and they rubbed it in their eyes, but I assume they'd serve it mild at nursery. I have to say I did mostly use blueberries and peas for pincer grip practice, but no harm in a bit of (pre-bath!) messy eating!

[CatHackney]

No need for spoons. She can pick up handfuls of chilli. Alternatively, she can pick up the entire bowl and slurp from the side of the bowl. BLW does not restrict to certain types or textures of food. I gave firm instructions at nursery that they were not to spoon anything into my son's mouth, and it worked fine. Apparently, he even managed (messily) with soup. The one thing I did drop off was a rubber pelican bib, as their flat cloth bibs were definitely not up to the job for BLW. Also, though, at the age of 8 months, they have to make alternative meals for children only eating certain mushy foods, so there's no reason you couldn't request some additional finger food items that she'd definitely like and eat a lot of - for example, a banana.

Our nursery does not allow any external food to be brought in, so this may not be an option for you anyway. They do, of course, have to cater for what children can and cannot eat and at 8 months, modifications are always necessary for individual children's abilities and preferences. They also need to make sure that they don' t introduce new foods that you haven't already tried at home.

[swallowed]

How ridiculous.

What benefit could there possibly be to a baby eating soup (soup!!) with its hands?

[laura0007]

I did BLW and I was anal about spoon use too. The idea of it is they learn to chew before they swallow and spoon feeding is swallowing before learning to chew.
I'd be mad to be honest and I'd say something to them. When my DS started nursery at 7 months I must have said about not using spoons at all at least 10 times and still I caught them at it one day.
On the other hand though I let my DS go for it with chilli, spag bol, soup with big bits of bread floating in it so he had something to grab as I figured he eats what I eat and I wasn't cooking something different for him. He soon learnt to eat perfectly with his hands and now at 17 months rarely uses his hands and can use a spoon and fork independently.

[poocatcherchampion]

I would deem mince perfect for blw. I'd just ask them not to get feed her and let her get on with it.

I don't understand what a previous poster means about restrictive - I think eating normal food is much more liberating that purees and particularly those regimes where you start with 1 veg and after about a month give a taste of meat. That just seems bizarre to me