Private school nursery, am I crazy? (sorry a bit long)

[qi]

Got an offer from a normal popular nursery (A), generally good all round - manager and supervisor both fantasic. However two visits to the nursery, my experience of the staff are not so good. First visit while ds was 8 wk me v. emotional. Two staff just sat there chat leave babies play on their own (by that time I respond to any tiny grin from ds). Recent visit ds is four months. Things were okay but one of the staff who chatted last time had a boy on his lap who had been cry, the staff had the most miserable face and just look in the void. I simply don't like him. This nursery opens 8-6 all year round.

We also got an offer from a private school nursery (B), the price is a LOT higher, and they only open 9-3, plus they have many holidays...

The private nursery offers parents work on site so during the settling period that gives me a lot confident. The staffs there look like they like children (I could be decived for only one visit), the setting is in a victorian house in a nice part of the city with big garden, etc, etc.

We probablly can't affort send ds for five days and I don't feel work part time for 3 year old is an option.

I still want nursery B. But feel unjustified. Am I crazy?

[sallyrosie]

If you weren't getting good vibes about nursery A I'd go elsewhere or you'd never be happy.
Have you thought about other options like a childminder or other nurseries if you can't afford nursery B?
Good luck. Finding childcare is such a nightmare.

[Rookiemum]

Don't put your DS anywhere you are not happy with.

I had DS all signed up for nursery but whilst on maternity leave I noticed that all the staff taking the toddlers out for walks seemed very young. I also spoke to one of the neighbours who said that someone she knew had worked there for the summer only.I believe that continuity of care is important for very young children and I didn't feel he would get that there. Also he is quite a contented wee soul and I felt he might be overlooked for louder babies.

Miraculously we have found a childminder on our street who seems fab ( although he has only done trial sessions)and I am so much happier at the thought of him being there. Have you checked out any other options other than nursery ? Or is it possible for you to work the hours of the second nursery until he is a bit older ?

[qi]

We've visited five nurseries, the one we like won't have place until early summer. One of the chained nurseries have good ofsted report but when we visited there seem to be less staff and people gave us the door code right at arrival - we were a bit shocked even we were obviously not hostil people we should not be given code.
Anyway, cm sounds good but we might have only one child so we want him be social. Reading all the stories in MN about settling just made me in tears so I am so worried about the settle process I want him in nursery earlier to avoid (hopefully) the hassle...
I am writing to nursery B to find out how much exactly we need to pay, then we can make a decision.

[Rookiemum]

I don't mean to harp on about childminders if your heart is set on nursery but our childminder has two other ones, so he will get to interact with other children as well. I think most childminders have more than one as not worth their while otherwise.

[qi]

Rookiemum, with nursery B our plan is to get one send him and one to pick up. This has to be later when he is off milk. The only problem is that I don't feel like work part-time for 2.5 yr due to finacial and career reasons. We are waiting for the nursery give us a clear price for the cost and think later what to do.
As everyone suggested, I should not send DS to a place that I have concerns. Maybe the extra nursery cost can buy some guilt off me? I've been thinking no gadgets, no victoria secret clothes (can't get in anyway), no house inovation... etc.
I have thought about sending him to the nursery that we like (have place next year) for the other two days, although DP think DS will get seriously confused for going to two different nurserise... I am all mad.
I hate it that our decision for our child is limited by money.

[Rookiemum]

Har Har re the Victorias secret items - I'm impressed you have the energy to think of it I refuse to wear anything except maternity knickers these days in case DH gets any ideas.

I think the majority of us are bound by financial constraints. I posted a couple of months ago because I was hoping to go back 3 days a week at work but they would only agree to 4. Technically we could have survived on one salary but in reality that would have been very hard, trying to arrange the very best child care I could was my way of trying to get over it.

I'm sure you will reach the right solution for your family, good luck.

[qi]

Thanks everyone to reassuring a satisfy nursery is most important.

Got a reply from the private nursery, the fee is high but not greater then what we've guessed. I am slightly reliefed. I am sending DS in for only three days so not too bad. Given the other nursery offers four for five days full time nursery will make a lot differnet, so we'll consider find CM when I need to go back to full time work to cover the extra days. This might be finacially more relistic. DF said "now you get what you want" today.

Now I need to talk to the company about the flexible working, wish me luck!

Rookiemum, re the vs clothes, he recently suggested that "why don't you start to wear those sexy underware" ;-) I told him I can't get in any!