unhappy with chosen nursery!

[Jo6366]

Hi
Just to set the picture, I used to work in a Nursery (Day Nursery), started when DS was 21mths so he came to the same Nursery with me. I had DS2 in December so went on Maternity leave from Oct but chose not to go back at the end. DS is still at the Nursery and has just moved up into the 3-5 room. Its great because I know all the staff, know its a great Nursery and DS has some friends there, plus they are aware that he does need a firm approach sometimes and although I often go in to them telling me things he's done, pushing, shoving etc they do see his good side and the fact that a lot of the problems stem from him racing around everywhere and not thinking before he crashes headlong into the other children (I'm not making excuses for him, I know he is a handful) Last summer we moved an hour round trip away from the nursery and although DS is doing 1 and half days there (3 funded sessions) I felt he should also get to know some of the children in the village he'll be going to school with which has a Nursery attatched (we live on the same road as the school/Nursery so ideal!) From the start I don't think the Nursery teacher was too keen that DS was doing split centres and only going 2 afternoons a week (they don't do morning seesions-a real pain!) Kai has only been for 2 afternoons (last week) and a 1 hour trial before that and I'm already unsure whether I want him staying at this nursery as i'm really not keen on the teacher! I've just dropped him off and bearing in mind I know Kai is a very active strong willed child (I sometimes wonder whether he is slightly hyperactive) but we had no feedback on how he got on when i picked him up last week so i asked when i just dropped him off today only for the teacher to reply - "ok but he can't stick to any of the rules, I was going to see how he got on this week and then have a word with you, this long break between sessions isn't good as he doesn't get used to the rules and then hes got to learn 2 sets of rules aswell" Well, wasn't that a nice way of saying how he's doing!!!? Worst thing is she's the SEN coordinator in the school so you think she's be a bit slower to judge a child!? Thing is he's been at the other Nursery over 18mths and still has triouble with rules, its not down to familiarity of the routine, that just him!! Any advice or anyone experiencing the same thing? He'll be in this class for 2 yrs as we're in Scotland so he won't start school until term after his 5th Birthday (another reason why i didn't want 5 sessions in smae place, as he gets bored easily!!)
PLEASE HELP!!
Thanks
Jo

[mummyhill]

No advice to give you I am affriad but will bump you into active convos to see if you get a reply.

[mazzystar]

This is just an opinion, as my DS is younger.

I can see the nursery teacher's point of view about only doing 2 sessions. She may be a bit tactless but at least she's telling it straight. It doesn't allow either of them much consistency or time to pursue projects fully. In your situation I would try to decide on one nursery or other. (If you are not happy with the new nursery are there any other local options?) In a good nursery there shouldn't be any issues about being bored.

[Jo6366]

There aren't many choices for nurseries round about where we live which is another reasons why i kept him at the other one, there is one down the road, another state nursery although whatever nursery he goes to next year (which will be 5 sessions) i want him to go onto the school with the children he's got to know. I can see your point about the continuity of sessions but to be honest, as a nursery Nurse I also feel its important for children to experience a wide range of activities and meet as many new people as possible especially at this age (bearing in mind he will be doing 2 yrs at Nursery) Although he shouldn't get bored, children can outgrow activities and I like the fact that the nursery I worked at separates the 3-4s from the 4-5s as there's such a difference in abilities/maturity within these age ranges (the nursery in question has all the 3-5s together so he'll be doing the same things next year for 5 afternoons a week, why I didn't want to put him in 5 afternoons this year aswell) I know I've put a cat among the pigeons as I don't think anyone has ever done split centres in this village nursery (for the basic reason there is nowhere else nearby to choose from unless you're planning on sending your child to a different school) I guess I'm comparing the way in which myself and most of the other Nursery Nurses i know would speak to a 'new childs' mum and this , in my opinion is not the way to do it!
Jo

[mazzystar]

But surely a good nursery teacher is well aware of the need to structure sessions appropriately for each age group, and make sure things are challenging enough for the older children?

That said, if your gut feeling is that the nursery/that particular teacher isn't right for your little boy then maybe he should go elsewhere. The one you worked out sounds much nicer, but the travelling time would be tough going.

Surely you can create opportunities for him to meet other local children through playgroups and stuff like that too?

[ProfYaffle]

tbh I think the stuff about 2 sessions not being enough is a bit dodgy. At dd's previous nursery 2 sessions was the minimum, at her current nursery there is no minimum. She's been doing 2 mornings for over a year and has no problems at all. (she's 2.5 now)

I agree with Mazzystar that if you don't feel it's right then you should go with your gut instinct. However, as the member of staff is SEN for the school it may be worth trying to build a relationship with her, maybe you could arrange a proper meeting with her and talk through your son's needs to see if you can help her deal with him more effectively.

[Jo6366]

Thanks for your replies, dh is taking a couple of days off next week and is going to take DS in and see what he thinks then we'll probably arrange a meeting to talk over what difficulties DS has with concentration/settling/listening to rules. I've also decided I'm going to have a long chat with the Nursery Nurse in the nusrsery i used to work in and get all the facts about whether they think there may be an underlying problem or whether they feel he is just a bit immature for his age (basiacally no holding back, I need to know all the facts before we go and speak to his new teacher-always difficult admitting that there may be something to to look out for but not being able to put finger on what it is!) I guess we'll be able to guage how proffessional she from a more more formal meeting! If it was just a case of moving him during Nursery i would do it but unfortunately we're in little fishing villages dotted along the coast so apart from mixing at Nursery and School there aren't a lot of other oppertunities to meet other children and it would be good if he could go to the local school. Fingers crossed we'll get some joy!
Jo

[ProfYaffle]

Sounds very sensible, good luck, hope you get things sorted out.