Should I move nurseries?

[cherryblossom84]

Hi, I would really appreciate some advice on childcare. My LO goes to a day nursery three days a week and has been attending since mid April. He's 14mths. I have had a few concerns when picking him up and a few weeks ago, even went to look round a couple of different nurseries. I then decided that moving him was too disruptive and that I was just overreacting. I wondered if anyone could help - am I being too fussy?

There has on occasion been times when I've picked him up and not realised until we were in the car or home that he had a dirty nappy - I had assumed he must have done it just recently but sometimes it has been stuck to him (although this may be the car seat). He has a few times come home/I've gone in to pick him up and he's been sucking on someone else's dummy. Depending on the member of staff, sometimes I get an apology, othertimes they just shrug it off. To avoid making a scene, I usually make out that I think he must have nabbed it off another kid - which he probably did! So this could be why I don't always get an apology. I have asked for the dummy to only be used at nap times as I'm trying to (very slowly!) wean him off it, but I keep finding he has it at pick up. (Maybe I just need to remind them...)

There was a few issues with staffing when he first started (one planned leaver and one unplanned!), but he has settled well despite this and has formed a good bond with the staff in the baby room. Obviously other staff from other rooms come in to allow them to take breaks, but I have found a few times that not one of the baby room staff are in the baby room. I would have thought they would take it in turns so that one baby room staff would always be there - for continuity for the babies. It doesn't appear to bother my little boy, mind. He has always been happily playing when I've gone to pick him up. I really like the baby room staff and I think his key worker is lovely with him, but some of the other staff seem a bit moody and never smile... They always greet us/me but they don't seem particularly happy to work there. I think at times they have been understaffed and so I have just thought that must be why, but now they are back up to full capacity, they still don't seem to enjoy their job...

He fell over and bashed his nose and under his eye a couple of weeks back, on the fence post surrounding the baby area. I would have thought they would have rung me but my hubby reckons they'd only do that if it was serious. I know that these things happen but I would have thought they would have had someone near by - maybe that wouldn't have changed anything... he's always falling over on my watch!

The main reason I was going to move him was because he was getting very upset on the commute as it is near my work, however after changing him to a forward facing car seat he is much happier.

He eats well there and they tell me he is doing great. When he's a bit under the weather, he can be a bit clingy to them but that at least shows there is a bond, right?

There has been occasions when I've picked up that one or two of the babies have been crying and no one seems to be doing anything about it, for example picking them up. I did wonder why and the next day, they commented that she gets upset when someone else gets picked up and its not her mummy.

The other thing that concerns me is they are ofsted rated 3. Now we knew this when we signed up, but they were last inspected four years ago, so I'm sure it'll have changed and they are due an inspection. Working in a school myself I know it is easy to miss out on the higher grades just by little things/paperwork not being in place. Reading the report seemed to highlight little things that they needed to change but nothing major, and we were happy with the facilities, especially the sensory room and massive garden.

Gosh I've rambled... sorry...

What I'm trying to say is I have a gut feeling that I can't shake off for more than a couple of weeks, before something else happens/I see something that makes me worry again. Should I move him and cause all that disruption just for these minor things? And risk that the new place won't be any better? (Perhaps this is the norm...) Am I being overprotective/too fussy? (My hubby certainly thinks so!)

Any advice will be greatfully received. TIA.

[Pico2]

I can't tell you whether or not to move your DS. But I can tell you that we moved our DD and it worked out really well. DD was used to going to nursery, but her old one wasn't meeting her needs and her new one was much better. DD was about 2.5 when we moved her, so older than your DS. She took really well to her new nursery and they said that they rarely had a child settle so well (most hadn't been in a nursery before). She flourished and we are confident that we chose to move her for the right reasons.

[Happy36]

Yes. Move him.

Explain to the potential new nurseries why you're moving him and judge their reactions, the one closest to yours is the right one.

[Nancyjuice7]

Yes move him.

I worked for four months at a nursery, and to be honest I don't want to tell you what when on there. It wasn't abusive or anything but I defiantly wouldn't want my child cared for in the way they did. Sometimes it's bad management, sometimes its the wrong bunch of undertrained or unpaid staff that just give up and those who suffer are the children.
Trust your gut.

[insancerre]

I'm a nursery manager and I would like to think that our parents would come to me and tell me about their concerns before they took their child elsewhere.
Is the manager approachable?
Do they have a suggestion or comment box?
Do they value parent feedback?
A good nursery will bend over backwards to keep parents happy and take on board all constructive criticism- its how we get better and improve our service for parents and children.

[Pico2]

I certainly raised my concerns with DD's nursery before moving her, but it was something that they were unwilling to fix, so I moved her. However the OP seems to have a really long list of issues and I would be concerned that a few of them might improve, then slip again and repeat every few months, while feeling like you have become "that parent".

[nicename]

If its a gut feeling, then your mind is pretty well made up. If you don't feel happy then by all means look around - you will feel guilty/worried if you dont. Does your school have a nursery he could go to?

I am sure he is fine and the culture of nurseries vary, so maybe this one isn't a good 'fit' for you?

Don't feel bad about working on an instinct. Peace of mind is far more important. Try to get some recommendations for places from parents you know/trust.

[dsteinway]

Some of your points are quite common occurrences at nurseries, eg the dummy issue, the accident. My nursery doesn't call unless an accident involves a head bump or my daughter is inconsolable (hasn't happened). The issues I would be concerned about if I were you are around the staff seeming unhappy and not being consistent in the baby room. This would be unacceptable to me. Also the diaper stuff is suspicious, but addressable. My daughter has on 2 occasions ended up with terrible nappy rash because of no one noticing her dirty nappy. I basically chewed them out.

Mostly though I would trust your gut. I am generally happy to leave my daughter at nursery because I know the staff care for her immensely and she enjoys it. It doesn't sound. Like you trust them to me. Not good.

[dsteinway]

By the way, I would take them telling you your son is 'doing great' with a grain of salt. It's in their interest to keep you thinking your son is happy, otherwise you will take him out. I'm not bashing nurseries, I mean I use one, but my other half and I always joke about how the DD has had a FANTASTIC DAY. EVERY DAY. sometimes I feel like responding Really. Really? She didn't throw a tantrum or get upset or be annoying even ONCE? Ha ha

[Pico2]

I've once collected DD to find that she had an accident that I thought I should have been ring for, but her nursery is excellent, so it didn't worry me to much. It it the catalogue of problems that makes your nursery such a concern.

Interestingly, I don't get told that DD has had a great day every day. She does have off days occasionally and I do get told. If nursery staff feel confident in what they are doing, then it doesn't feel like a risk to admit that your child was a bit out of sorts. On the otherhand, DD has always been better behaved at nursery, so there is less to say about her behaviour there.

[Naz786]

Hi I not having a good experience with my nursery my son has been there for two years, there was a time he would wave goodbye to me but last 6 months he's hysterically crying when I leave him. Does anyone know of any nursery that provides I watch basically webcam where u can see your lil one, in Birmingham ? Replies appriciated