A thread for parents to ask nursery nurses questions they wouldn't ask in real life?

(59 Posts)
Wishuponastar011 Wed 16-Apr-14 20:57:44

Thought this would be a good idea because I'm sure there are some questions that you would like to know the answer to that you can't ask in real life!

Bumply Wed 23-Apr-14 22:21:01

Both my boys were in nursery full time from 6 months.
I don't consider them in need of pitying for this.
Maybe I was fortunate but the three nurseries I used were all staffed by people who appeared pleasant, motivated and adequately skilled.
The last nursery/after school club had the advantage if several male staff providing an 'older brother/uncle' type role useful with me being a single mother.
When I did use a child minder briefly while waiting for a nursery place to free up I was struck by the fact that so much time was spent going back and forth to school to drop off and pick up older children.

Fair point, I only remember because we have a video of DD walking into the sofa, toppling over and finding it hilarious.

jasminemai Wed 23-Apr-14 22:14:06

I dont even know when either my children walked. I cant even remember their birth weights or when they said their first word even though I was definitely there for all of it! I cant say Im bothered as it doesnt really matter to me.

There is no way I would remember for the 100s pf others I have looked after

You guys must be great liars! DD is quite a bit older now, but I'm still in touch with her babyroom keyworker. It would be a bad idea to see if she can remember, wouldn't it?

BobTheFly Wed 23-Apr-14 22:07:16

I agree as a CM to Tiggy :-)

TiggyKBE Wed 23-Apr-14 21:49:20

Um...the thing about first steps...um...IS THAT THEY ALWAYS HAPPEN AT HOME!

Look! Over there! A bunny rabbit! Let's talk about that instead!!!

If I think that DD took her first steps at home, what is the chance that she actually took them at nursery?

jasminemai Wed 23-Apr-14 19:57:41

*16

jasminemai Wed 23-Apr-14 19:57:28

I love nurseries both my children went one from 6 weeks, one from 7 months and Im having another that I want straight in as soon as I can. My children have been utterly spoilt in nurseries and I love the fact its like a massive family. I see all the care in the couple I have worked and there is no way 1 cm could rival it.

adsy Wed 23-Apr-14 19:51:40

Maybe we just have pants nurseries round here ( or very good CM'S grin )but it seems the majority of people in my neighbourhood see nurseries as the second choice , especially as the CM's now all accept the funded places. But as I say, we only have 2 nurseries and TBH they're not exactly great and it's a small community so everybody sees the CM's out and about a lot which maybe gives people more confidence

insancerre Wed 23-Apr-14 19:23:08

I would never chose a cm over a nursery either and don't know any nursery nurses that have used a cm
they have all used a nursery and I have worked with many nursery nurses

jasminemai Wed 23-Apr-14 19:13:06

I am a nursery nurse and would never choose a cm over a nursery. I love everything about nurseries and so do all my nursery nurse friends. I would never willingly chose a cm

adsy Wed 23-Apr-14 18:00:41

(Do cm conversely say use a nursery?!)
No!!! I've never come across a CM who would willingly use a nursery over a CM or nanny and I kNow lots of current nursery workers and people who have left nurseries to become CM's/ nannies etc.
You simply don't get the same level of care in nurseries and people with direct experience of both will impe never use a nursery.

Molly1990 Mon 21-Apr-14 23:38:01

I don't think ofsted means a lot. I worked in a nursery graded 'good' the previous week and witnessed one year old children being shouted at, told to 'shut up' etc. another child left to cry themselves to sleep for 40 minutes...

I think one reason I would prefer childminder/nanny is you can pick one with a similar childcare philosophy, and check they understand child development. A lot of nursery nurses lack very basic knowledge regarding normal social and emotional child development. The problem is when you get a few bad staff working in a room it just normalises poor practice, so I wouldn't say it makes it 'safer' than a a carer who is working unsupervised! Bad staff will sit around gossipping, ignoring the children.

hotcrosshunny Mon 21-Apr-14 22:11:57

I think this thread is a good idea as it should be exposed if our children receive opoor care.

I was put off nursery when seeing the staff ignore a crying child. They were saying he was being manipulative. He was under 1 FFS and was settling in so of course unsettled. My ds was one of the favourites and you could tell which ones they didn't like.

Greenybrownish Sun 20-Apr-14 23:30:54

I am a nursery nurse and use a pre school for my little one, since she turned 2. I ve also used childminder until she went to pre school and can see good and bad points for both. I think each nursery/ pre school is different and usually you can tell on a visit what kind of place it is. From working in various settings if the staff are obv trying too hard on your visit it's usually the opposite to the way they work where the ones that are relaxed and not all fake look how lovely we are , are the best ones that really are genuine.

TiggyKBE Sun 20-Apr-14 23:18:07

Babiecakes91 - The milk thing is really worrying. It's a very clear, obvious and understandable "no milk". No chance of misinterpretation, just staff who can't be very clever or bothered.

With ofsted I think it's best to read the report. I've come across many where you're not exactly sure if the inspector has actually visited the nursery. Loose generic statements that could apply to anybody: A bit like horoscopes.

Ok, got another. Does ofsted really matter?

jasminemai Sun 20-Apr-14 12:20:43

Ive worked in many nurseries and would always want mine in nursery. All mine started as tiny babies and I personally dont think I offer anything near as good as nursery at home at any age. If I was a rich sahm I would pay out for mine to be in nursery part of the time.

Babiecakes91 Sat 19-Apr-14 11:16:48

I have a question as a mother of an almost 3 year old with autism. He at nursery likes doing his own thing he gets extra support 3 times for 30 minutes for 1 on 1.
It made me wonder for the rest of them time would you let him do his own thing or would you try and get him joining in with the rest of the group. (Non verbal no understanding)
Also he's got a milk allergy which has been ignored time and time again he even got sent home with a milk chocolate easter egg this week. How do parents bring this up without looking like an overbearing parent. They have medical letters stating the milk allergy and I have mentioned it loads of times.
Btw it's a council run nursery and is rated the best in our county x

HappyTalking Sat 19-Apr-14 09:58:35

michaelfinegan i always tell parents the truth, parents need an honest answer about how their child has been that day, whether that is happy sad quiet etc.

rallytog sounds like you have found a good nursery. There are lots of good nurseries out there filled with staff who genuinely care about your child, sadly there are also places with unmotivated disinterested staff too and they can give all nurseries a bad name.

insancerre Fri 18-Apr-14 10:41:10

I can spell I just can't seem to type on my phone grin

insancerre Fri 18-Apr-14 10:38:59

I've worked in nurseries for years and I would use one if I had a baby
I didn't use them when mine were babies as I had no need to as I was a sahm
I have worked with fantastic nursery nurses who I would feel comfortable at leaving my child with
I've also worked with some awful ones I would not leave a dog with
I would choose a nursery over a cm every time because on not comfortable with one person having sole care of several children
I like the rework in a. nursery and mix of ages experiences and characters
as far as qualifications go this is definitely a problem
school standards have slipped and young people are leaving without

knowing how to spell and use grammar
but this is not confined to nursery workers. I k ow a trainee teacher who has just got her first teaching job and her spelling is awful. she can't even spleen words like coming.
I run a setting that strives very hard to form good relationships with children and their parents because it is more beneficial for the child.
I know it works. I recently eon a parents choice award as lots of patents voted for me.
I believe in being honest with parents do yes I will tell you if they have been crying and for how long but I will support both patent and child in the settling in process
I once witnessed s parent of a baby break down on the hallway after leaving their baby for the first time. it has stuck with me forever and I understand how hard it must be as I have children myself.
I do have favourite children and these are normally the most challenging and need nursery care the most.
I love my job and wouldn't want to do anything else. I do it because I passionately believe it is important and that I can make a difference in children's lives. I certainly don't do it for he money.
my biggest bugbear is when patents font seem to value what I do beyond changing nappies and keeping their child safe.
I have a degree and the title of Early Yeats Professional and I just wish that some people didn't look down on me just because I work with children.

TiggyKBE Fri 18-Apr-14 10:29:47

Nursery work is minimum wage work. Apprentices get much lower than minimum wage. I even saw a nursery company the other day who were proud of their low wages as it made sure they got staff who were committed to childcare and not just in it for the money. angry. But you get what you pay for and now the government has capped income at a very low level by the "free" place scheme you're going to get a lot more illiterate staff.

And the ofsted "outstanding" grades mean that in the opinion of one inspector on one day in the last 4 years it was outstanding. I've worked in some crap outstanding places.

I'd like to know how qualified it's reasonable for me to expect the staff to be. I am getting increasingly worried by the level of (il)literacy displayed by many of the younger staff, especially as DD gets more interested in letters and reading. Some of them use lower case and capitals interchangeably within words. It didn't seem to matter so much when DD was very little but now she's 2.6. I don't know whether I'm being precious but it's really worrying me now and I'm thinking of moving her. She's meant to move to the preschool room in September-how will they be preparing her for school if they can't differentiate between e and E?

This is in an 'outstanding' Montessori nursery btw. She only goes one day a week so obviously the vast majority of the time she's with me.

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