Reassurance needed... will it get better??

[mustrunmore]

ds1 is 2.8, and is going one morning a week to a nursery, hoping to afford to increase to 2 mornings in September, to prepare him for state nursery in January, and also give me some quality time with ds2.

Week 1: 2 one hr sessions as intro, I stayed, he was fine.
Week 2: 2 hrs on his own, fine.
Week 3: the full 4 hrs on his own, one or two tears on me going, but fine.
Week 4: full 4 hours, but dh took him up there and it was traumatic.
This week: I've just left him kicking and crying; he's been saying he didn't want to go since he woke up.

Will he get better?
I dont want to cave in, because he's going to have to go in january, so its only delaying the inevitable. And I do like having time with ds2, who gets ignored alot.

[Highlander]

I'm going through the same thing with DS (23 months). He's at nursery 2 mornings/week for 2 hours each.

He was fine during the settling in phase (me there for 15 mins then staff room for rest of time). However, he's hysterical when I drop him off now. They have a dedicated carer who sticks by him until he calms down and they assure me he cries for 10 mins max. When they describe what DS is like during the rest of the session I have to say it sounds exactly like DS's personality, so I'm completely reassured he just doesn't like that initial separation (doesn't stop me crying at home though!!)

Loads of friends have told me that you have to stick to your guns and see it through. Being a apart from mum for the first time is horrible, but it is a stage in development that should be addressed (we have no family support so DS has never been away from DH or I).

Anyway, it's time to pick him up - yahoo!

Good luck.

[mustrunmore]

Thanks so much for answering me. I know its just a part of growing up, but sometimes you need a bit of reassurance that you're not a bad Mum! Like you, we are on our own as it were, family all a long way away. He's been with a close friend of mine for a couple of hours, and next door playing for 2 hours, other than that, he's always with me or dh when he's here.
I cant help thinking about how little he is though. But its only a few months till he has to go to state nursery anyway.

[veggieoj]

Hi I've just stumbled across mumsnet looking for reassurance myself and it was good to hear your views.

I'm expierencing a similair issue with my little girl, who at 23 mths has just started a few mornings at nursery. She was fine for the first few weeks but now reality seems to have dawned and she is really upset when I leave her.

The nursery have assured me that after 10mins she is fine and she appears happy when she is picked up. Oh the guilt!

Has your little one now settled in?

[gigwig]

i'm having similiar things with DS - 3.10- as he's attending a nursery during the holidays. This morning - his third week there - was so awful, I thought he was going to work himself into an asthma attack.Needless to say I rang 30 mins later and they said he was fine and stopped crying 3 mins after I left the room.

It is so hard, you do have to keep on with it. The fact they kick and cry after they've been there a while is cos they realise it's 'permanent'.

Yesterday I tried to leave DS with a friend for 10 mins while I had to go to the bank, but he kicked up such a fuss, kicking and crying, so I gave in and didnt go. So when he started back at nursery today he made a huge fuss, running to the door, kicking, crying, etc - I think cos he remembered yesterday that I'd given in.