I have a little 4 year old girl and she started nursery absolutely fine. By the end of last year the teachers said she wasn't herself and if anything was different at home. Everything was fine so we just assumed she was tired after the year and needed a rest. I had a condition when I was younger and they said she might have that so in the summer holidays I got her tested and she was fine.
She started again in September and nursery told me that one of her friends was overpowering her at nursery and my daughter needed to learn to be more assertive. (My daughter started keeping herself to herself and day dreaming) Me and my daughter have been doing role play and I've been encouraging her to play with other children to try and help her self confidence. Nothing was said to the parent of the other girl because she is quite full on. She was also a friend of mine and I knew she had a lot of problems and I didn't want to add to them.
This had been going on for a few weeks so in the end I mentioned it to my friend and she just defended her child, told me my child was maturing and made it all really personal. Since that conversation I have kept myself to myself outside nursery and walked home a different way etc. She confronted me about my distance the other day and I just said it helps my child to get some space on the way home. Her child is demanding and I'm always having to back her up and its exhausting!
My child is so unhappy. She says she doesn't want to go to nursery and every time she gets there she hides away from the other girl. Its really hard because I don't want her to become rude and angry (which is happening) because she doesn't know how to deal with it. She's only 4.
Any advice would be really appreciated! Even if you think I've handles it badly!
I am saddened that the nursery have decided this is your and your daughter's problem. To me, they have the power to help. I think it is very dismissive of them to tell you your daughter needs to be more assertive but not give her the tools to accomplish this. I would make an appointment and ask how they are going to help your daughter be more assertive and not be over-powered by this other child. If they do not come up with some strategies then maybe look at another nursery. Is this child going to the same school? Can you swap days and send her in a different day to this other child?