Handover - is this normal?

(9 Posts)
sazelf Wed 14-Aug-13 13:12:10

DD (16 months) started nursery 3 weeks ago. Other than the first visit, where we were able stay and fill in paper work, the procedure is to handover dd (who is usually very upset) over a door-gate and she is whisked away screaming without even saying goodbye. There seems to be different staff in there every day, who we've not been introduced to / have never introduced themselves to us. The room is quite small and although there is a big garden it is becoming apparent that they dont actually go outside very much. DD is apparently not joining in activities, which I do find strange as she is normally very sociable and easy to interest. I am worrying that they are treating her more like a very young baby, rather than really engaging her and helping her to develop. At the end of the day we are told relatively little about her day - they don't seem to have done very much. The reality is that we probably know we need to move her as we are not feeling confident in her care, just do not know what to do - we have only lived here a short time and the one other nursery in the area is fully subscribed and there is a real shortage of childminders. I thought we had done really well as it looked great when we looked around and is Ofsted Outstanding (although as a teacher I should have known that this is not always the best indicator of what a place is like on a regular basis). DH and I feel like we have completely let DD down. I think I just need reassurance that I'm not being OTT and that some of these things are not normal in decent nurseries.

takeaway2 Wed 14-Aug-13 13:18:02

no that doesn't sound very normal. We have two kids, one who's 'graduated' from nursery and has just finished year R at school and another who's coming up to 3 years old. They've been at the same nursery for the last 5 years. Usually, there are several settle sessions ranging from half an hour to an hour to 2 hours or so. This can happen over a week or two (say every day monday-friday but for 30min-2 hrs..) or over two weeks.

start off with the mum/dad staying then sneaking off... and then some opportunities to feed (say tea time, or play time)... nap time. etc.

if the child is crying (and it is very normal for the child to cry as this is probably the first time being separated in a 'strange' environment), usually they'll let the mum/dad stay around for a few min, or even up to half an hour, depending on your own schedule....... hand over the child, chat to the nursery worker... and then usually they'll say 'ok now DD, mummy's got to go to work now but mummy will be back realllll soon - shall we go play in the garden/do this puzzle/help me with tidying up...?' and that's it.

sometimes the kid will continue to cry, but that's ok, usually the worker will whisk the kid away to another part of the room or into the garden and we leave the room....

our nursery has just got an 'outstanding'.

hope this helps.

catsdogsandbabies Wed 14-Aug-13 13:21:46

Not my experience. We know all staff and at end if day have a paper slip with all activities, sleeps, nappies and what they have eaten. Drop off we see familiar staff and hand over after a goodbye. Your nursery sounds awful.

Dackyduddles Wed 14-Aug-13 13:25:13

Sorry, is this just a one room place? I ho inside to dds designated room. I know all staff based in dd room. I'm able to chat briefly with them. I get detailed breakdown of toys, activities, toilet/nappies, food, sleep. I get further brief chat on collection.

Trust your gut. This doesn't sound right.

takeaway2 Wed 14-Aug-13 13:26:50

oh and forgot to say, at the end of the day, we get a detailed breakdown of food intake, poo/wees, naps, activities (she has been engrossed in doing abc puzzle/doing gloopy play/riding on bikes/playing in the home corner with X, Y, Z friends...).

wonkylegs Wed 14-Aug-13 13:37:18

My DS from 7mths to 4y3mths and that doesn't sound like our experience. DSs nursery was only rated good by ofsted but he thrived there at all stages from a baby up to school and I was happy with his care (sometimes they were a little disorganised) but they were always caring, friendly & happy.
He was there full time and handover usually coincided with breakfast so I'd bring him in, hang up his coat/bag on his peg and settle him down at a table for breakfast with the kids that were already there. Say hi to his keyworker and pass on any messages (he's a bit snuffly, woke up early so may need a longer nap etc).
Until he went in the top class he had a daily diary - this told me what he ate, what he did (broadly) and any problems he'd has. At pick up this was in his bag. I'd go in get his stuff off his peg, say hi to the girls and have a chat, pry my child off the toys and take him home.

sazelf Wed 14-Aug-13 14:17:36

Thank you all for your very helpful (and very speedy!) replies, all your accounts seem to follow the line of what I expected was normal. I am going to arrange a very frank meeting with the nursery and sort out alternative childcare asap.

TiggyD Wed 14-Aug-13 17:48:01

I've been in some 'Outstanding' nurseries that were utterly shit.

Different staff every day. - Bad.

Small room. - Bad.

Don't go out every day. - Bad.

Whisked away screaming. - Sometime the quick 'sticking plaster' method is best, rather than prolonging the saying goodbye bit. Or it may just be bad.

Not encouraged into the room. - Bad.

Told little about her. - Bad.

Not done much. - Bad.

There's a pattern here. Not normal in a decent nursery, but far from rare overall.

That's not normal in my experience. I don't do the morning run - only evening pickup - but I get buzzed through the door then have to explore until I find DD and keyperson - normally rolling around in mud in the garden... I like being able to get her bag, check her box for any messages, look at the sleep board etc then go to find her. That way if there's anything I want to speak to them about it's fresh in my mind.

Whereabouts are you? Chances are someone here could recommend a good alternative.

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