Not sure whether to move DD to new nursery...advice pls!

(60 Posts)
Lioninthesun Thu 30-May-13 15:06:39

DD is 21mo and has been having 2 half days at nursery since 13mo.
The nursery is very expensive and takes me half an hour to walk to - which up to now was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
However about 3 months ago her key worker, who is lovely, mentioned that she would be ready to move up to the big room soon and there was a group going up with her. However the group moved up (all of the friends she played with) and she is still stuck in the baby room. I was a bit surprised at this as she seemed to be more able than some who went up, but assuming it would only be a month until she went up, said nothing. I think I thought that perhaps they felt she wasn't ready after all.
However the next month came and went. No news. So I asked. Key worker said she is definately 'ready' but I would have to speak to the head of the new room. I did this and she made it clear that it isn't because of my DD's ability but because she is August born, they left her to last as they have no room at present (or no staff more to the point) and are at max.
Apparently DD will have to wait until July now!
It shouldn't bother me as I know she loves her key worker, but she is constantly looking over the fence in the garden at her old friends playing on scooters and big slides and asking to play with them. Instead she is stuck in with the babies and a sandpit.
Am I right in considering moving her to a closer and cheaper nursery where she can play with kids her own age. I am pretty annoyed tbh.
2 months(it will be 5 in total) shouldn't be a big deal, but she will be youngest in her year anyway so I feel nearly half a year could be really detrimental...or am I over thinking this?
Help! (And sorry for the essay!)

Lioninthesun Thu 30-May-13 15:34:31

Bumping while DD naps!
Thinking of calling second choice nursery later today so any advice appreciated!

I had a similar problem with Ds as all his friends moved to reception & he was left with the younger kids & wasn't impressed at all so I took the opportunity to move nurseries which has worked out a lot better for him .

In your situation I think id move nurseries as from what you have said they don't seem to be in a rush to move her hth

beeny Thu 30-May-13 15:41:17

Unless they are willing to move I would move nurseries

Lioninthesun Thu 30-May-13 15:45:28

Thanks, it does feel a bit silly but I put her in so she could play and make friends, not help them feed babies their bottles!
The walk is killing me too and for what seems to be a lower level of care for one of the most expensive nurseries in town, I don't feel it is worth it.
Thanks, again, I felt a bit pfb!

turkeyboots Thu 30-May-13 15:47:42

That seems odd. All the nurseries I've used moved DC up on their birthdays. Nothing to do with their development.

I'd go see the other nursery just to know if it was an option you are happy with and talk to manager of your current one for an explanation.

Lioninthesun Thu 30-May-13 15:54:10

I had a second choice nursery when I put her in this one, so will just go to that I think. We have play dates with a boy who goes there so feel she will enjoy playing with him too.
She will be 23mo when they move her up but the others were 19/20mo so it is just a staffing issue from what I can see and what the manager told me. I just don't feel she should be set back because of it. I already asked her key worker and the manager of the next room, so feel I would just be going around in circles asking again.
I have emailed the other nursery to see if they still have space for her.

hellonewworld Thu 30-May-13 15:59:47

I think you should move her as you are paying them to provide a service for your daughter and they are slacking. It is not your problem that they have no room as how long are they actually willing to keep her in there until a space becomes available.

Lioninthesun Thu 30-May-13 16:07:27

Yes, I am a bit annoyed about it really.
I also have to pay more for her to be in the baby room as ratios are different. I feel a bit like they are trying to milk me for a bit longer, but as a LP I really don't have 'extra' cash just floating about who does!
I think it really hit me when I saw her calling out to her old friends and trying to get over the fence. When I looked around the other kids were all just crawling about around her feet sad so no wonder she is bored. Also feel perhaps it is because she is only in for 2 half days, so they aren't that fussed. Not a great vibe from it all really.
If she is having more fun and doing more activities with boring old mum, then it seems silly to pay for a sub-standard nursery place.

Can someone remind me what the standard amount of time you have to give notice for? Obv will have to ask them, just want to know if I will get enough scraped by for the deposit at new nursery!

dribbleface Thu 30-May-13 17:13:16

The ratios in the older room should remain 1:3 regardless, until they are 2 years old

Lioninthesun Thu 30-May-13 18:12:15

Ah, well they have taken in 3 under 2's (when he friends went up) so perhaps that is why they have no space.
Have emailed the manager to explain why I am moving her and the new nursery has spaces to start next week, so I think we are set. I just hope they will take the £100 credit I have with them rather than a full month's payment (which hopefully means I can afford the set up costs this month). I certainly won't miss walking for 2 hours every day she attends!

TiggyD Thu 30-May-13 20:43:35

Rooms have limits on the amount of children allowed in them. It's based on floor space. If the bigger room has a limit of 24 and there are 24 children in there they are not allowed to take more. Move if you want. I'm sure the nursery will be happy with you going.

"All the nurseries I've used moved DC up on their birthdays. Nothing to do with their development. " Then you've used poor nurseries. Good nurseries always think of children's development when deciding on a particular course of action, and the fact they can move children on their birthdays means the nursery is far from full. Wonder why? (They're not the best).

Lioninthesun Fri 31-May-13 09:10:31

Tiggy 'I am sure the nursery will be happy with you going'
Did you mean to be so rude? grin Anyway I am also happy to be going. The new nursery do loads more activities it turns out and she will be closer to home.
Found out today a couple of other mothers are unhappy there too and another child similar age to DD has been removed for the same reasons.
It is meant to be on ability, yet as I said a couple of the children moved up were constantly crying and barely spoke. I think in this case it was more to do with the fact they are in full time rather than part time an they have earlier b.days than other kids who will be in their year who the nursery decided not to move up because it 'looked' more acceptable.

turkeyboots Fri 31-May-13 18:37:09

Glad you have a better option. Hope the switch goes well.

tiggy the nurseries I've used are very good, but undersubcribed due to being in the land of the SaHM.One of the many bonuses of being out of London.

TiggyD Fri 31-May-13 18:54:23

Yes! grin

Nurseries are always full of naggy parents desperate for their child to move up as soon as possible. The ratios don't matter to them. Neither does the room limit or the fact that most of the toys in the pre-school rooms have "Not suitable for children under 3" on them. All they know is that their child is special and far more important than everything else and the world should change to cater to their every whim. You just get fed up with constant whining in the end and start wishing they would just fuck off if they hate everything so much.

I'm sure you and the nursery have different and perfect reasonable reasons behind what's bugging you both.

meglet Fri 31-May-13 19:03:36

If the bigger room is full then they probably can't move her up without screwing up the ratios. The pre-schoolers will leave in July + August so they will have space then.

My DD didn't move up to the big room with her friends as she was younger than them (and lost most of them to school last year). She just had to wait a little longer, it was fine.

ReetPetit Fri 31-May-13 19:11:24

lol at TiggyD grin the words of a true and honest childcare worker!! It does get to us after a while, all the pfb stuff, everyone thinks their child is far more advanced then everyone elses, it gets very tedious!!

Sounds like it's for the best you are moving her op, seems a long way to walk for somewhere you are not happy with and for only 2 half days a week....

Cloverer Fri 31-May-13 19:16:43

Your child is under 2 so has to be in a 1:3 ratio. It makes sense to move all the 2 year olds up so they can be in a 1:4 ratio and keep the under 2s down - otherwise they might have to move an extra member of staff up too.

It's not to punish your DD or milk you for cash - nurseries are subject to rules and regulations!

Sounds like you have some good reasons to move your DD though.

Lioninthesun Fri 31-May-13 19:39:47

Fair points, although I think describing me as nagging is a bit much - if they hadn't moved up other under 2's I wouldn't think anything of it. The fact she is the oldest of the baby group and the last of her year group not to go up bothers me, especially when I was told she was 'ready' months ago and they have confirmed it is due to their lack of space and staff.
If you are paying top dollar these are the things that bug you as a parent, Tiggy!

TiggyD Fri 31-May-13 20:00:00

I'm not saying you're a nagging parent Lion. It's all the others that nag. You repeatedly raise the same valid point again and again. Totally different.

Lioninthesun Fri 31-May-13 20:47:40

Oh well, if you can't communicate with the staff without being 'nagging'... hmm
Thanks for making me feel they are all going to be saying that about me now though, and that I have not done it in my child's best interests.

ReetPetit Fri 31-May-13 20:58:26

there's always the possiblity she wasn't ready Lion!! I know everyone thinks their own child is the brainiest/wittiest/cleverist/prettiest but perhaps she wasn't ready - it does happen and not all nurseries are out do you over! they may just have had her best interests at heart.
but it sounds as though you weren't happy with them so it's probably for the best for you and for them that you've moved her. i just hope the new one lives up to your expectations. Good Luck.

TiggyD Fri 31-May-13 21:00:55

By "Communicating with the staff" do you mean re-asking or negotiating the situation when you've been told the room is full? If the room is at the limit no more children can go into it. If 7 or 8 of the children were to be killed in a freak Duplo accident, and it was found that they had more children than was deemed safe, the staff would all go to prison.

If you think this new nursery is much better, you go for it.

ElBombero Fri 31-May-13 21:05:41

Seems very odd practice. If your otherwise happy with them I would voice your very reasonable concerns to them and explain if nothing's done you will have to look at alternatives. I would honestly be worried that developmentally this would be holding my child up. At 21 months she should definitely not be with the babies

We moved DD for the same sort of reason - she was developmentally the most advanced in her room from about Xmas and would continue to be until July. Other, older but less advanced, children moved up in the mean time (one of their parents commented on this to me, it wasn't just my pfb impressions). She looked huge in a room full of barely verbal 18 month olds. DD loves her new nursery. It is more expensive, but very much more focused on the individual child and DD will move up room when it is right for her. She loves mixing with older children and does this lots at her new nursery. Developmentally I can really see the difference it has made to her in terms of imaginative play, physical play, numerical understanding and fine motor skills. She is clearly accessing more interesting activities. She was not at all distressed by her move and, while she still talks about her previous nursery, she never asks to go back.

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