Please reassure me that my baby will be fine!

(11 Posts)
SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou Thu 18-Apr-13 11:19:20

My DS is starting nursery next week for two and a half days while I go back to work.
He will only be 21 weeks though!

The nursery have just been given a glowing ofsted report, it is reasonably new with good facilities/toys etc, I got a good feel for it when I looked around and thought the atmosphere felt lovely.
He went for a taster day yesterday afternoon where I stayed with him, he cried at first (think it was sudden noise after his quiet sleep he had in the car) but calmed down after 10 mins or so and seemed comfortable in the room with his key worker sat with him and other babies around. I am leaving him for a couple of hours tomorrow.

So far so good! But here's the thing... I'm really upset and have this image in my head of him being put in a bouncer/chair/whatever and just left there to look around. He is content to do this but like all babies he loves people to talk to him or play with him too.
I'm worried that because he is the only one there at the moment who cannot sit up (and only one other that can't crawl) that he will be put somewhere and ignored as long as he isn't crying.

I don't know where this paranoia has come from cos the nursery have not given me any reason to think that this will be the case.
The only thing I can think of is that the time of day we saw was just after snack time and was "free time" or baby led play so the children were just crawling/walking around in one area with lots of toys. I know this is good for them and they don't do it all day but maybe that's the image that has stuck in my head and I can't get it out.

Will I know if my DS is not happy there??

whyno Thu 18-Apr-13 13:04:09

No way. They love the ones that can't toddle yet. In my experience they get the most attention and cuddles.

I know what you're going through. It never went away for me. I agonised every single day but my boy (now 2) is fine and happy and I think it's been really good for him.

sweetiepie1979 Thu 18-Apr-13 13:07:49

Oh you will so know and they have to let you know if he is settling in or not. He will be fine and will be learning so many social skills, it's great that he knows his Mum works hard and hell know that when he gets older. You will both appreciate each other so much more from having the time away. Really really really you will see its going to be great! Nursery sounds fab! Be proud of yourself for making the decision and be strong your teaching ds that. You will know if your baby won't be happy and they will fuss over your baby so much because he is 21 weeks they will all want to cuddle him and teach him. Dont worry, wonderful mummy

ReetPetit Thu 18-Apr-13 14:08:19

with most nurseries, babies do tend to be put in bouncers/activity centres/left on playmats etc - its just the way it is = there is not the same level of attention that he would get from you or even a childminder. I presume you chose this nursery for a reason though? If you are happy with a nursery setting for such a young child then that's fine and hopefully he will be in a baby room with babies his own age and will have his own key worker who will have 3 or so babies as her key children.

You will know if he is settling. It takes a while to get used to whichever type of setting you use. If they are good they will write a daily diary. I am a cm and care for a little girl 3 days a week who is nursery the other 2 days. I do a detailed diary for her. The record sheets she gets sent home from nursery with are shocking though and have no detail at all, you can see they have hurridly been filled in at the end of the day, eg 'played with blocks' (what for 10 hours??!) so I think you can tell a lot about a place from how much feedback you get from them.

Good Luck.

Mine both started in nursery when they were 4.5 months old and to be honest they settled much better than the older ones who were starting at 8-12 months and in the full throes of separation anxiety! They both seemed to bond really well with their keyworkers and really, for me at the time, hugely inexperienced and far away from any family support, the nursery was an absolute godsend.

The staff-children ratios are very good at the younger ages and I'm pretty sure (from photos, observation books, daily reports etc) they got lots and lots of individual attention - the youngest ones did seem to get special treatment!

It's normal to be worried, of course it is, it's a really big transition. You wouldn't be human if you were not panicking a bit at this point! But the nursery sounds lovely; and you will definitely know if he doesn't settle.

Good luck!

LJC123 Thu 18-Apr-13 17:48:40

My baby was 19 weeks when he started nursery. He is very happy there and gets spoilt rotten as he can't sit up yet so he gets lots of cuddles! He's the youngest by 5 months so he does get pampered! X

SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou Thu 18-Apr-13 21:16:24

Thank you so much for the replies! I need the reassurance, I worry about him all the time!

I need to put my trust in them and see how next week goes.

He does have a key worker that only has 3 babies in total, there are not a lot of children in that particular room and the adult/child ratio is great.
They have diaries to be filled in daily including food/bottles and nappy changes.
They will take photos I can look at and have asked if I want art work to come home or stay in his file smile (I've chosen a bit of both)
It's a small nursery and it seems really nice.

Just need to keep reading positive posts and get rid of the paranoia!!

NatashaBee Thu 18-Apr-13 21:20:53

DS was in nursery from 12 weeks old. I was sad leaving him, especially that early, but it was a lot easier than trying to get him settled in a nursery at 1yo or so - at 12 weeks old he was pretty chilled out. In my experience, most of the staff used to pop in and out of the baby room on their breaks as it was quieter there than the toddler/preschool rooms and they wanted to cuddle the babies grin

jaabaar Mon 22-Apr-13 12:11:33

What is the name of the nursery?

flatmum Mon 22-Apr-13 12:24:41

I have had three go through the baby room for 3 days a week and in our nursery, I think they get the most attention. They really didn't just leave them looking around for significant amounts of time I don't think - they picked them up, carried them around, played in the garden, played with balls and sensory stuff, encourage them to roll, cruise etc etc - in actual fact they got my lazy dc3 to stand up and walk a bit at around a year when he was quite content to sit on his backside so that he could move onto the toddler room without getting trampled. Obviously depends on the nursery but I really think if it a good one that you have selected carefully, the baby room will be fine (its the pre-school rooms that can get a bit hairy but you can deal with that later ...).

Mine all started at about 8m and I also found they settled much better than the ones joining later. They were content, easy babies at that point and did a good job charming all the staff and getting them wrapped round their fingers which serverd them well as they progressed up the rooms until they went to school.

Is normal to feel guilty/worried. It will almost certainly be fine - don't worry! smile

mrscog Mon 22-Apr-13 12:35:40

My DS started nursery about 6 weeks ago. Admittedly he is older - he started on his 1st birthday! But he loves it and I'm so happy. He is still in the baby room at the moment and I've never seen any of the younger babies left in a bouncer or play centre - they seem to get cuddled a lot or are put in a bouncer or bumbo but then played with as part of a group activity.

It will be fine. Also, I find the notes that come home more than sufficient - after being at work all day I don't want to read reams - a bit about nappies/food and then a list of 3-4 activities is fine by me.

Our nursery sends home photos too, they even took a photo of DS with his birthday cake on his first day which was lovely smile

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