Younger child in older group

(7 Posts)
soundevenfruity Thu 25-Oct-12 23:03:13

I am in a full panic mode and probably am overreacting so would really appreciate an opinion from the outside. My son started a nursery 3 weeks ago. He is not quite 3 and is the youngest in the group. When I was looking around the nursery I told them upfront that he is not yet potty trained (he lost interest in the middle of a major upheaval this year - illness, death in the family and moving houses twice) and that he doesn't speak English a lot but understands everything. They seemed to be ok with it and we agreed with the manager that we can restart potty training once he is settled in the nursery. The first couple of weeks they were increasing his hours and today was his first full day. He skips and runs to the nursery but I am becoming increasingly uneasy with their handling of practical matters. They don't change his nappy, first time the reason being that they weren't pull ups (they were) and today they haven't changed his nappy once but took him to a toilet a few times. When I came he was sitting reading a book in somebody else's thin cotton hoodie in which he spent 1.5 hours outside with just a light Tshirt underneath. His warm jacket was gone (where??) and they didn't bother looking in his bag where he had a warmer fleece hoodie. A nursery worker complained that he doesn't know how to stack his chair and doesn't wait for others before starting to eat. They were also not happy that he didn't say anything to a child who was taking something away from him and eventually just pushed him away. I had a conversation with the nursery manager who called to discuss today's nappy incident and we agreed she will look at his interaction with other kids next week and decide what they can do. I am really worried that if the nursery workers don't care that much about him before this conversation they will subtly keep neglecting my son as he obviously needs more input than they are prepared to provide. What do I do??? He doesn't say what he was up to in the nursery.

soundevenfruity Fri 26-Oct-12 07:15:31

Bump

Imperial Sat 27-Oct-12 09:45:21

In all honesty they sound awful and totally unsuited to working with small children the lot of them. Basic common sense and caring seems to have gone out of the window and in your position I would be furious about every single one of these issues. Not changing a nappy and letting a child get so cold is basic neglect in my book.

MrClaypole Sat 27-Oct-12 09:49:12

This sounds awful, the staff are neglecting your child's basic needs.

I would have a meeting with the manager with a list of points and asking her what she plans to do to improve matters.

I would also be seeking alternative childcare if things are not resolved.

cookielove Sat 27-Oct-12 13:13:30

They sound terrible

- They should be able to change a nappy doesn't matter if it is pull ups or a nappy, caring for your child and making sure they are clean an comfortable is one of the basics in childcare hmm i really worry about the nursery if they cannot manage that.

- Loosing your belongings (please make sure you label everything) can happen, it may just be that another parent mistook it for their own, however they should have checked your child's bag before putting something else on them.

- They should be aware that everyone is at different ability levels, regarding his potty training and his verbal/communication skills, he's only little after all lots of older and more verbal children would still choose to push another child out of the way when playing together or snatching toys assuming he is new to nursery, he will soon learn the "rules of the playground" they should just be encouraging all the children to share among other things.

- The waiting for everyone before he starts eating has left me gobsmacked, i just can't believe they would enforce such a rule for such young children, i'm sure that isn't enforced in schools (although it's been ages since i was at school). Geeez i am so not impressed with that one.

I would definitely request a meeting with his key worker and the manager to resolve these issues.

I've worked in a nursery for the last 10 years, so hopefully know what i am talking about.

HTH

soundevenfruity Sat 27-Oct-12 21:57:44

Thank you everybody. I no longer think that I am unreasonable. I had an impromptu meeting with the manager. (She is actually one of the people in whose care I would leave my son quite happily). She was very apologetic about the nappy incident again and less so about the coat. She talked to staff and was sympathetic but I don't think she grasped the fact that I am worried that if his basic needs need to be practically fought for then I am not sure about leaving him in their care. His appointed key worker has not made an effort to bond with him but then she looks like she is not very interested in children anyway. They do quite a bit of Montessori which I thought would really benefit my son and are highly regarded locally. I had a conversation with one of the teachers who said that they struggle to remember to check his nappy because there are 15 others and they have so much going on. And that they are preparing children for school that's why there is so much waiting: waiting for others to start meal, going out to the garden takes around 7-10 minutes from what I observed because there is a ritual to make sure that everybody is calm and quiet and waits in line. There are 2 girls that make an effort to chat to him (I saw it when I am there) but the rest of the kids ignore him as his English is not as good as theirs. If one of the best locally nurseries got it so wrong as far as I am concerned what can I expect from others?

cookielove Sat 27-Oct-12 22:16:50

I'm sorry but what bull that they forget to change his nappy, they must know who is in nappies and who is not so bloody irritating people who work like this, puts the rest of us in such a bad light, any way it's just an excuse isn't it when really they need to apologise and do better. At my nursery they can have up to 24 children with only 1 or 2 in nappies and yet they manage to change their nappy when it's required!!

The children should not be queuing for such a long period of time, if at all, what a faff 10 minutes just to go out and play hmm

I really am not impressed by this nursery from your posts sad

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