I feel like a bad mummy, please reassure me...

[Elf1981]

I've just signed my DD up for nursery. She starts in March. She'll be nearly six months old and I feel sick everytime I think about leaving her.
For those of you who use a nursery, please tell me whether it was as bad as you first thought (leaving them all day etc etc) and what makes it better (will she even miss me?!!)

[jstbcs]

Are u goign back to work? Do you have to go? f/t or p/t?

dd 3 goes 4 morning a week... i ahte the fact that she comes home from nursery smelling of 'nursery' and not of me...

[mazzystar]

ds has been at nursery 2 days per week since he was 7 months old. i sometimes have work, and sometimes not. sending him there, in the abscence of any relatives who can babysit, has kept me sane.

he has loved it from the start, the staff are warm and intelligent, i'm quite certain that his social development has benefited, he eats brilliantly when he's there.

at 15 mo he knows the days he's meant to be going and goes to fetch his coat to leave with his dad, who drops him off.

it will be fine.

[jstbcs]

I agree u certainly need a break, i sent dd at 18 mo for 2 mornings per week, just to remain sane...

[mazzystar]

oh yes, that nursery smell...where does it come from?

[beansprout]

You poor thing. Mummy guilt is a terrible thing.
What makes it better is knowing that they are being well looked after. Will there be a settling in week? If not, maybe ask for one, although it is pretty standard practice.

Keeping busy is good, this one tends to be covered by going back to work of course!! Also, I promise, it does get easier. It is hard at first but it will be ok.

I dreaded, dreaded, dreaded going back to work and leaving ds and now, a few months on, we are ok. Give yourselves a bit of time to adjust and take it from there. Good luck.

[beansprout]

Is it the same as childminder smell? I confess I wash it off ds!!

[edam]

She'll be fine and you will be too, once you've got used to it. Ds came on in leaps and bounds at nursery (started when he was 7 months).

[MrsMiggins]

yes it was awful
yes you feel guilty
even when you start sending the 2nd but dont feel guilty about the 1st as you know they love it

it wears off IF you have confidence in your nursery AND enjoy your job

my nursery are fab; have excellent ofsted; children are happy; nursery workers are lovely

feel as safe there as I do with me or my mum

the day I stopped worrying was the day DS cried cos I turned up early and they were just in the middle of watching a film !! (my nursery watch videos from 4.45pm onwards cos of pick ups and trying to wind the children down)

[Elf1981]

I'll be going back full time, so she'll be at nursery at 7:30 to 4:00. I rejigged my hours to work 8til4 so that I can get home with her at about 4:30 and have two and a half hours with her before we bath and put her to bed.
She's got a settling in period the week before she starts, Wednesday afternoon, Thursday and Friday morning and then starts full time on the Monday.
I just worry because at the moment, she tends to be very vocal about wanting me. When she's in a real tizz, she'll only settle with me (not even my DH which is a bit upsetting for him!). I'm worried about her screaming her head off at nursery all day and being upset. I'm worried about her refusing the bottle there (she's breastfed though she will take the ocassional bottle under duress!!). I'm worried that she'll miss me.
Mummy guilt is the worst. I've only ever had seven hours away from her (spread over three different days) so I know I'm probably going to drop her off at nursery for the settling in period and sit blubbering at the bus stop til it's time to pick her up!!

[K7]

You and me both, Elf. I'm putting my 6 month old in in March and have real feelings of dread. She just seems so very small to be left. Like yours, she'll be in from 8.00 until 4.00 or so. I've also found out my LO will be the youngest in the whole nursery - am guessing yours may well be too. If it's any consolation, the one thing most parents who've done it agree is that it's easier to put them in at 6 months than a year, when they've really fallen into a routine with you. Good luck...

[motherinferior]

I went back to work at four months. No, I didn't feel guilty (didn't have much of an option but didn't feel guilty). I am sorry you're feeling this way, but please don't worry unecessarily.

[Milliways]

Left DD from 6 months. She adjusted very quickly. Had occasional tears when older, going through a clingy stage, but a bit half-hearted as she was soo used to it.

Nursery helped teach her to eat a variety of foods, social interaction, tying shoelaces! how to skip, to read & write, etc etc.

She sailed into school and never looked back.

DS started nursery at 2.5 yrs and had MUCH more trouble settling (as older), but all same benefits.

They are both fab kids. I did feel guilty, but made the most of the times (weekends!) we did have. I now work school hours so collect them both & am here when they are. We couldn't afford for me NOT to work.

As long as you have visited nursery on varous occassions & seen all parts of the day, had settling visits & feel comfortable with the staff you will be fine.

Best of luck