problem with nursery - or is this to be expected?

[motherpeculiar]

DD2, 9 months old, started at private nursery yesterday. She is going two days a week. We?d settled her in over the last number of days, been through her routine (such as it is), written it on a form and also given them a synopsis on a piece of (bright pink so it couldn?t be missed) paper to put on the wall to refer to (as I?d seen notes on the other kids routines up).

She normally has an 8oz bottle of milk about 10am and again about 2pm. As I was leaving yesterday (just coming up to 10am as I?d stayed for a while it being her first day) I reminded them she would be due her bottle.

I rang during the day and was told she was doing fine.

When DH picked her up at about 4.45pm she was having a bottle, her FIRST of the day. When he got home and told me I was mad as hell. Called them up and was told ?they must have forgotten? (wtf?)

This came on top of the fact that when I went in another little girl was sleeping in a cot on DD2?s sheet (again ? ? why bother with individual sheets then?) and she had a dirty nappy when DH picked her up (ok, will allow benefit of the doubt here as it might have just happened)

Questions

1. is missing a 9mo bottles like this as outrageous an oversight as I think it is?
   
2. What would you do about it?

[HRHQueenOfQuelNoel]

I could understand if perhaps she had the first late - and perhaps the 2nd late too (you never know what else is happening at the time - just like being at home). But there's no excuse IMO for the FIRST bottle to be given at 4.45 !

I'd talk to them about it

[PrettyCandles]

I haven't had such a young child in nursery, so no appropriate experience, but frankly I agree with you - totally the wrong way to look after a baby.

From what experience I have had with nursery not looking after my child quite as I would like, the best thing to do is to go and talk with them. Arrange a proper meeting where you can discuss your concerns straightforwardly without risk of interruption. Start from a postion of your concerns, not what they did wrong - that puts people on the defensive - and ask how they can address it.

[beejay]

I wouldn't worry about the sheet or the nappy. If the bottle was a one-off oversight then no probs, if it was happening regularly would bring it up. Best to nip it in the bud and mention it anyway maybe? Agree with pretty candles about doing it gently though...

[compo]

When ds went to nursery we gave them his routine but they pretty followed there own. I think they have to in order to get everything done with all the babies. Tbh we just got used to it. We forgot to tell them he was on cow's milk after he was one until they asked us for more formula!!

[Bozza]

Think missing the bottle is out of order so would mention that but not take it further unless it is a regular occurence. The other things I would just monitor for the time being.

[LeahE]

I'd not worry too much about the sheet or nappy at this stage. As pp said, as a one-off forgetting with a new child I'd let missing the bottle ride just this once but keep a very firm eye on things and ask for a meeting to discuss your concerns if you are still worried. At that age a lot of babies are starting to drop the mid-morning bottle so it could be that the other babies your dd's age weren't having one and they 'just' drew a mental blank on the fact that she still did -- although as you had reminded them that's a bit worrying. I can see why alarm bells are ringing for you.

[MrsDoolittle]

I would be upset about this too. I would also consider moving her as I wouldn't be impressed with the attitude of the staff.

[tangerinecath]

Motherpeculiar this would have really upset me too. Not so much the nappy or the sheet but the fact that she went all day without her bottle isn't right. Does she have anything else to drink during the day? Like some of the others have said I would give them another chance but keep a very close eye on it, and if it happened again I'd move her.

[HappyMumof2]

Message withdrawn

[LipstickMum]

That's disgraceful. I've worked in a nursery, with various age groups and there's no excuse for not feeding children at the appropriate time, or dealing with any special requirements for that matter. 9 months old is still young and I bet she would have been desperate for her milk!!
I'd have a calm, but firm word with them.
What were the staff doing? Listening to the radio and gossiping over Heat?

[Twiglett]

outrageous and unacceptable

not an oversight .. its not doing their job

I'd look elsewhere personally .. any chance on a childminder or alternative nursery?

[Twiglett]

Is she fully weaned btw .. that sounds like an awful lot of milk for a 9 month old

in a totally none of my business, I know this isn't what the thread is about, but poking my nose in anyway and hoping it doesn't get bitten off sort of way IYSWIM

[Hulababy]

Definitely not on. DD was in nursery from 20 weeks and they always remembered feeds - in the first nursery rooms this is a crucial aspect of the nursery nurse's work, surely?!

Do you not get a diary of your DD;s day at nursery?

At that age, at the end of each day I was given a diary sheet. It showed when her feeds were and what she had (inc quantities of milk), when and how long naps were, what she had done, etc. This was gone through with a nursery nurse befpre we left.

[FeelingOld]

I agree with some of the others, bottle given slightly late is sometimes inevitable and acceptable with lots of children to see to but for it not to have been given at all is not on. I know they have a routine to follow but surely this applies more to the older children eg snack time, craft time, wash hands, lunch time etc, but surely the babies should get their bottles according to their routine (give or take 15 minutes).
I am a childminder and all of my pre-schoolers go home with a daily diary telling of times of bottles and amount taken, food eaten and when, wet nappy changes, dirty nappy changes etc and when I have time I also try to put into them what we have done all day.
I would have a 'oh by the way yesterday xxx didn't get to have their morning bottle, would you please try to make sure they get it today please' kind of talk with them and if this doesn't work make it more formal.
Good luck.

[motherpeculiar]

thanks everyone

I did have that "DD2 didn't get her bottle today" conversation with them on the phone and the head of the baby room said she would have to keep an eye on it. I may just put my concerns in writing too though, so that the manager and owner of the nursery have to know about it and keep an eye on it too. I suppose I do have concerns about the level of attention to detail some of the staff in the baby room have, also their ability to think for themselves/multitask. They are stretched to the limit I think - there were 9 babies in there on Tuesday and 2 staff and a student. The head of the baby room also works in the toddler room so isn't constantly on hand.
My complication is that this is the nursery DD1 goes to and we really can't have them both in different places. Although we do have a childminder/nanny two days a week so maybe I should think about extending that if things don't improve.

DD1 didn't attend as a baby as we lived elsewhere. Compared to the baby nursery DD1 attended this place is chaotic,disorganised and not hugely confidence inspiring. IS ok for DD1 as she is 3.5, has her buddies there and we have a good relationship with the two key memebers of staff in her room who do a great job.

Twiglet, thanks for the tip that that may be too much milk for 9mo. I guess I haven't really thought about it much since about two/three months ago. She is fully weaned (if by that you mean is she eating three meals a day). Still has two bottles during the nights too, and one at bedtime (she has always been a big and hungry baby) - so she has 5 in total, thinking about it now I guess that is a lot, she takes an average of 6 oz each time.

What is normal for that age then? (should prob start another thread on this but am at work so may not get a chance!)

thanks all

[Bozza]

mp - at that age I think mine were both on 3 drinks of milk a day - first thing in the morning, mid-afternoon and bedtime, plus DD had the odd slurp of breastmilk in the early hours. I was still breastfeeding the early morning feed. The afternoon one was in a cup and the bedtime one in a bottle - both were 7oz. They were both good eaters and pretty close to being on family foods at this point.

[motherpeculiar]

thanks bozza - maybe will start trying to move her in that direction then. She does eat well at mealtimes, but I could try to up the volume of solids then I guess

[Bozza]

When I dropped the mid morning milk I replaced it with a snack. And likewise the afternoon milk which she dropped at nearer 1.

[LeahE]

DS dropped down to three milk feeds a day at around 9 months - first thing in the morning, last thing at night and mid-afternoon. He has a snack (something like breadstick and/or fruit) at around 10.30 instead of the milk he used to have then.