Separation and breastfeeding

[user1468839927]

I have just split with my baby's father after a turbulent on and off 3yr relationship, our son is 9months today.
My ex partner has just sent me a message asking me to think about discontinuing breastfeeding in order for him to be able to take our some away on holiday.
This is not normal right?

I have told him that I will stop breastfeeding when our son is ready and not before but I'm sure he just thinks I'm being a cow.
Our son won't and never has taken a dummy, he also still uses me for comfort and we also co sleep, always have and I have never spent a night away from him (due to being on my own mostly as we have never lived together and having 3 other school age children) so I have also told my ex that of course he can take him away but when he is able to understand and express that that is what he wants.
Does anybody else have experience with a selfish demanding useless ex? Am I being unreasonable?

[WilLiAmHerschel]

Very hard situation op. I think yanbu and if possible try and stay on friendly terms so you can work out a compromise. I am still breastfeeding my 2 year old so completely see your point of view.

Also - not sure how much traffic this topic gets. Might be worth asking for it to be moved to relationships?

[DollyBarton]

I know it's an emotive subject but my personal opinion is that I would prioritise my child's relationship with their dad over breastmilk. I have breastfed all mine to 9mths ish, combination feeding dc2 and dc3. But if it was making it difficult for the kids to see their dad I would have stopped sooner or combination fed sooner etc to make it work.

That is my opinion in relation to the breastfeeding kid over fathers access issue. Not taking into account the other possible issues like that a particular father is not a good father or has abused me etc which might make me view the issue less objectively and fairly.

[WannaBe]

Neither of you are unreasonable.

The way you feel is understandable, but TBH I agree that a healthy relationship with his father is most important. Would be different if he was a newborn.

And if as you say you have four DC together there is a risk that the youngest's relationship with his dad could be different to that of the other DC if different rules apply to him.