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DH refuses to use cloth - anything I can do??

(33 Posts)

My cloth story - we decided before 18mo DS was born that we were going to use cloth. Ironically, DH was more adamant than I was. Once DS had arrived, I did two really good nappy trials with some very helpful ladies, but it was all too overwhelming with everything else going on, DH decided pretty much from the day the nappies arrived that he hated them and we went permanently to 'sposies.

In the past six to ten months, I've been reintroducing cloth (Tots Bots Easyfits as I remember liking these best from the trials I did) and feeling much more enthusiastic about them as I'm more used to how to keep it simple and leak-free. DS is at nursery FT during the week where they use disposables on him, so, really, it's only weekends that DH would have to use the cloth, although my preference would be no disposables at all when at home. I assemble all the nappies, putting liners and boosters in place, after washing so they're ready to use but DH Just. Won't. He says they're a pain in the arse and that's the end of it. I think his main issue is removing a pooey nappy because it involves a trip to the toilet to get rid of the excess, while also having to deal with flailing toddler legs. I use flushable liners and dry pail to make it as easy as possible.

I've tried the environmental/cost arguments on him and they don't work. Is there anything in the process itself that I could make easier to win him over??

Thanks in advance!

stargirl1701 Tue 19-Nov-13 12:10:53

I think you are supposed to shake the poo from disposables down the toilet anyway so not really that different than dealing with the liner. Maybe point that out? grin

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Tue 19-Nov-13 12:13:35

If he is already in disposables at nursery, why cant dh just use them.too?

Then you can use cloth when you want and he can use disposables when he wants.

Mortified Because if DS is in cloth, DH won't change him. If he's in a disposable and I do a nappy change, I'll put him in cloth, then DH won't change him and....do you see where this is going? It can really only be one or t'other if I don't want to get stuck with all the nappy changes.

stargirl Really? Does anyone actually do that?

Middleagedmotheroftwo Tue 19-Nov-13 13:55:15

Why doesn't he need to flush the poo down the toilet if he uses a disposable nappy? Don't tell me he wraps it all up and puts it in the bin????hmm

PeazlyPops Tue 19-Nov-13 13:55:48

Why should he use cloth if he doesn't want to?

Perhaps you should use disposables all the time then?

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams Tue 19-Nov-13 13:58:53

So he would actually refuse ? What if you put cloth on and tgen went out and left the two of them. Would he then not change him, even if needed, til you got home?

Peazly It would be a bit cheaper and take a bit of a dint, howsoever small, out of landfill if we used them when DS isn't at nursery. I've used them enough now to have paid for their equivalent cost in disposables and DS is nowhere near toilet trained so he'll get a lot of wear out of them yet.

middleagedmum Don't a lot of people wrap up poo in disposables and throw it away? (Case in point: many public baby change facilities which don't have toilets but do have a bin.) Without a liner, I don't think I could get DS's poo off the nappy and into the toilet. It's like craft glue!

Mortified In that situation, yes he would change him, but that's not a situation that would happen very often. I can guarantee he'd moan about it though!

Janek Tue 19-Nov-13 14:25:41

I know this isn't an ideal suggestion, but could you deal with the poo later, once the nappy's changed? My dp never rinsed our washable nappies sufficiently imo, so i always ended up doing it again anyway. And i managed without liners, you just have to rub the nappy surfaces together in the toilet once you've got the lumps off. Not the nicest job, but you were going to wash your hands anyway...

And are you sure nursery wouldn't use washables, on the same basis - wrap up nappy, put it in bag, you deal with it when you get home. I don't really see the difference between that and having to go and put a disposable in the bin. In fact your way saves anyone going outside...

Minty82 Tue 19-Nov-13 14:31:16

No really the point but YES, people flush the poo from disposables down the loo!! Of course!

Janek Nursery would put him in cloth if I wanted them to, but I'd have to boost my supplies somewhat, and I'd need to take a few deep breaths over the extra laundry and nappy assemblage every night after work in addition to all my other jobs. It has crossed my mind, though. And your suggestion of letting DH just chuck the pooey nappy into the pail then me dealing with the poo later is not a bad one, thanks! smile

FrauMoose Tue 19-Nov-13 14:48:50

I think a good parent should be able to deal with babyshit. There might be sometime later on when your child - then partly toilet trained - has an 'accident' - and you're not about.

What's he going to do then? I think it's about compromise. Being willing to deal with cloth nappies sometimes, even if at times when he's doing most of the babycare he uses a disposable.

TheThirdHare Tue 19-Nov-13 14:49:25

My first reaction is to tell your husband to grow a pair, but I guess that wouldn't really be fair! some people just hate dealing with (baby) poos.... I think Janek's suggestion (you dealing with the poo later) is a good one - That way your husband has no excuse not to use them. It does mean you have to get rid of a few more poos, but then you're the one who wants to use cloth in the first place so it seems fair enough. And on the odd occasion I haven't dealt with the poo immediately I actually found the slightly dried out poo easier to dispose of... Argh, I've slightly gone off my lunch now, sorry ladies!

TheThirdHare Tue 19-Nov-13 14:52:40

Good point FrauMoose, I knew my initial reaction to tell the dh to grow a pair was justified after all:-)

Aquariusgirl86 Tue 19-Nov-13 17:44:51

Just buy sposies to leave at nursery , then there aren't any at home....no choice?! And if you are dealing with the poo it's no different for him?

mrsmartin1984 Tue 19-Nov-13 21:54:32

It sounds to me like he is just making excuses. That way he doesn't have to change nappies

MoreBeta Tue 19-Nov-13 22:06:02

Frankly it depends on how much you value your time.

We always used disposables. Quick to change, no washing.

I am with your DH on this and yes I am a bloke and I did change just as many nappies as DW. If you are time constrained and your time is valuable then washing nappies is a very expensive hobby.

Sod the environmental impact nobody really gives a toss about it. If they did they would stop driving cars - but they don't because they like the convenience. just like disposable nappies.

chocolatecrispies Tue 19-Nov-13 22:14:19

Morebeta what was the point of your post? Just to tell us your time is too valuable to wash nappies? My time is too valuable to have to work extra to pay the £1000 or so more that disposables cost. So I spend 5 mins twice a week filling the washing machine with nappies instead. Probably the best paid 10 mins of the week.

NoAddedSuga Tue 19-Nov-13 22:15:27

What a load of faff cloth nappies are.

They make nappy changes an even shitter job than is necessary.

I dont mean to be rude, but you must have too much time on your hands if you want to be washing cloth nappies, drying them, and scrapping shit out of them.

LittleBearPad Tue 19-Nov-13 22:18:11

Do people really drop the poo from disposables down the loo? I never have.

SoonToBeSix Tue 19-Nov-13 22:20:14

I think it's only on mumsnet that people shake poo from disposable nappies down the toilet. I have never met anyone who does this.

SolitudeSometimesIs Tue 19-Nov-13 22:23:27

People put poo from the disposables down the toilet? Since when? I've never done that or heard of anyone doing that?

Pistillate Tue 19-Nov-13 22:26:13

Move the nappy changing stuff to the bathroom. Then it's easier to flush the poo.

LittleBearPad Tue 19-Nov-13 22:28:44

My bathroom is tiny so that won't work.

Why on earth does it matter if you drop the poo down the loo. Would you gather up the shit in a litter tray and drop that down the loo?

ameliarose2012 Tue 19-Nov-13 22:35:14

We use reusables too. I've only just thought of this, but we do nappy changes together lol. One cleans the baby, and the other one takes the nappy and deals with that. Could you just share the load that way? xxx

hoppingmad Tue 19-Nov-13 22:43:44

Noaddedsuga - cloth nappies are way easier than you seem to think (especially if you use easyfits with disposable liners). It barely takes a moment of your time.

Pop the liner and contents in the toilet and the nappy in the pail. No different to putting the disposable in the bin really.

I have 18 month old twins and would've spent a fortune on disposables. Instead I spent less than £200 on cloth. Don't knock it till you've tried it smile

It also only takes minutes to put on a wash or peg out a few nappies. Plus the patterns are very cute smile

NewBlueCoat Tue 19-Nov-13 22:55:17

I find it extraordinary that he would refuse to such a degree.

I use cloth. my dh was hmm about it before dd1 was born. reckoned I'd get fed up dealing with it (note the 'I' there!) and it would be an expensive fad.

9 years and 3 children later, it was the best £200 ever spent. and dh is as fine with it as me. he whinges about the types of nappy sometimes (prefers one type over another, both are available usually, dpeending on where we are in the washing cycle)

imo, by the time you've opened a shitty nappy (disposable or cloth) and cleaned the shitty bum, then dropping poo in the loo is hardly extra effort. it's not as though by not using cloth you never deal with shit.

would he agree to eg a 4 week trial of cloth only, and really give it a good go. and then after that you could talk about whther to continue or not?

he would have better experience to weigh it up, and you might be more open to his opinion if you felt he had given it a good go, maybe?

TheThirdHare Wed 20-Nov-13 00:29:30

I love the way MoreBeta leisurely browses MN yet he can't find 5 minutes to put a load of nappies in the machine grin

mrsmartin1984 Wed 20-Nov-13 00:38:21

Clearly people who are that against cloth don't know how easy it is. People seem to think I spend by days scrubbing shit. Well I don't. I haven't however had to clean up a poo that's exploded out of a nappy. Because cloth nappies are better at containing poo. So who's scrubbing shit now?

BeCool Wed 20-Nov-13 01:11:50

Who buys the disposables for home? If it's you just don't stock them at home? Might go and buy some himself but chances are he will simply use what is available.

I flush poo in disposable nappies before binning them btw.

holidaysarenice Wed 20-Nov-13 01:18:23

Just do it weekend about. That's a compromise.

Or u do nappies he does nights.
Or don't buy any disposables.

FoofFighter Fri 22-Nov-13 10:37:21

If it was so much work then people wouldn't do it would they?!

It's been proven time and time over that cloth is not more expensive, yes even allowing for washing! (btw early studies had people always boil washing them and also ironing them when working out the costs per wash!) You can save at least £500 on first baby, more if you go on to use again for more babies, another £250 if you also use washable wipes.

It takes me no longer to change a cloth nappy than a dispo - it takes me 5 mins to shove the nappies in the machine, 5 mins to unload it, and ten mins to hang it up - twice a week. The washer does all the hard work.

Really wish people who have no idea would keep their "views" to themselves!

SliceOfLime Sun 01-Dec-13 17:08:16

I can't believe people have bothered to comment, just to say that they think washable nappies are a waste of time. Well, whatever. Clearly you are more important and intelligent than I am, because I spent 2 years doing an extra 2 loads of washing a week. Yes, the five minutes it took me to put the nappies in the machine, and the 10 minutes it took to hang them out to dry... What an eternity! If only I had that time back...! Hmm, i dont think it will be one of my deathbed regrets wink

OP , what about your husband putting the pooey liner in a nappy bag / bucket / container on the changing table, finishing the nappy change, then dropping it into the loo afterwards (or leaving it for you to do - nice, but there you go!) And it is definitely worth asking your nursery to use the washable nappies, lots do these days and easyfits are about as easy as a nappy can be. You would just need to provide them with a big wet bag for the dirty ones - worth an ask at least?

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