Please note: This topic is for discussions about the surveys Mumsnet is running. It's not the place for promoting other surveys or market-research requests. If you do that here, we may well delete your thread. If you'd like to discuss running a (largish-scale) survey about your product or business on Mumsnet, please feel free to mail us at insight@mumsnet.com.

NOW CLOSED: To all MNers - please take our survey about rape and sexual assault - we'd like to hear from everyone

(161 Posts)
AnnMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 22-Feb-12 13:50:09

Hello

As you probably know, Mumsnet is planning to launch a rape awareness campaign in the middle of March, and as part of that campaign we're asking Mumsnetters to complete a survey about their own experience, if any, of rape and sexual assault (following last year's informal survey by MNetter CristinedePizan).

Please note the survey is open to all MNers - whether you have been raped and/or sexually assaulted or not.

We've thought carefully about whether to run this survey, and about the wording of the questions that are on it. Indeed we have consulted with leading charities and organisations operating in this field. We're aware that this will be terribly painful for some of you, but we believe that evidence of MNers' own experiences of sexual violence is probably the most powerful way to get our campaign message across - to politicians, to the media and to the wider world.

The survey is open to to all female Mumsnetters, whether you have been raped and/or sexually assaulted or not. We want to get as accurate a picture as possible, so don't feel that you can't take part if this has never happened to you.

For those that do have personal experience, there are inevitably some very difficult and personal questions in the survey which you may find very upsetting to fill out. We're so sorry if that is the case; do feel free to leave without completing it if it becomes too painful.

Please also rest assured that all survey responses will remain completely anonymous, and won't be linked in any way to your MN nickname or RL identity. As a small gesture of thanks for taking part, there is a £50 Amazon voucher to be won.

If you have any thoughts on the campaign you are welcome to post them on this thread.

Here's the link to the survey

Many thanks,
Ann on behalf of the MNHQ Insight and Campaigns Teams

NB: If you've been affected by these issues, Rape Crisis offer support through their national helpline. The number is 0808 802 9999, and it's open every day of the year from 12pm to 2.30pm, and 7pm to 9.30pm. You can also visit their website for details of Rape Crisis Centres in your area www.rapecrisis.org.uk

done

roguepixie Wed 22-Feb-12 14:02:52

done

IAmBooyhoo Wed 22-Feb-12 14:13:18

done

LuckyLuckyMe Wed 22-Feb-12 14:13:29

Done

Nyac Wed 22-Feb-12 14:13:42

Completed. You didn't ask if people were male or female though, so it can't be taken as representative of women's experiences. Which is a shame because the reason why men rape and sexually assault women and girls is misogyny, and it's something that our society has tolerated for far too long.

The findings won't be able to draw any conclusions about gendered aspect of rape and sexual assault.

OliverTwit Wed 22-Feb-12 14:17:49

done

OliverTwit Wed 22-Feb-12 14:19:01

Nyac

'The survey is open to to all female Mumsnetters,'

FoofFighter Wed 22-Feb-12 14:20:53

Done. Did mine do correctly as it appeared there were only 3 or 4 questions? Just checking...

Nyac Wed 22-Feb-12 14:20:55

OK sorry, I'm reading the "important everybody does it" and "open to MNers".

My apologies.

TBE Wed 22-Feb-12 14:31:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PommePoire Wed 22-Feb-12 14:36:35

Done.

done.

ledkr Wed 22-Feb-12 14:55:36

Done

Done

Peekabooooo Wed 22-Feb-12 15:26:10

Done.

TheOtherHelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 22-Feb-12 15:28:53

Fooffighter - it looks like you've only completed the first page - there's more than one! Do you want to see if it will let you go back in and finish the rest of the Qs?

BelleDameSansMerci Wed 22-Feb-12 15:33:45

Done.

debka Wed 22-Feb-12 15:46:21

Done.

WannaBeMegMarch Wed 22-Feb-12 15:47:51

Done

Nilgiri Wed 22-Feb-12 15:49:18

Done.

Sockspence Wed 22-Feb-12 15:49:23

hello - I started to fill it in then had a wobble and changed my mind about one of my answers. I'd like to be a bit more accurate. Really want to complete it properly, but I can only see the last page now, is it because I can only access it once?

Hassled Wed 22-Feb-12 15:52:02

Done - am really please you're doing this.

TheOtherHelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 22-Feb-12 16:00:38

Sockspence - do you want me to delete your response so you can start again?

Done

lubeybooby Wed 22-Feb-12 16:08:56

done

done

Done and shared.

Tonksforthememories Wed 22-Feb-12 16:33:10

It only took me to one page before the age/area one, there's more?

cerys74 Wed 22-Feb-12 16:52:34

Done

Sockspence Wed 22-Feb-12 16:53:35

yes please Helen smile

MooncupandPizza Wed 22-Feb-12 16:56:08

Done!
I wrote up some major research in Ireland (the SAVI report) about rape myth acceptance, prevalence of rape and sexual abuse etc. so am very interested in this campaign - will be watching!

ProcrastinationStation Wed 22-Feb-12 16:57:33

Done

Done.

addictediam Wed 22-Feb-12 17:05:22

I'm probably being really thick, but I didn't understand question 11. Were you asking who you told at the time, or who you've told since?

TheOtherHelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 22-Feb-12 17:05:29

Just to reassure those who've queried the number of questions you were asked - the number of questions you're asked depends on how you answer the first few questions - some people will be directed to the last page of questions about you while others will be directed to another section of questions first.

Done. I am interested as to why 'co-workers' wasn't included in the list of perpetrators. Assault at work is probably fairly common.

To add, I think co-worker should be added to perpetrators and management should be added to persons you told. Plus a question on how that person responded, ie, were you believed, were you supported, were you blamed?

DilysPrice Wed 22-Feb-12 17:15:21

Done

Done.
Although due to him getting a not guilty verdict, I have always believed this to mean I can not speak about it to newspapers etc so I did not add my name. Is this right?

weeonion Wed 22-Feb-12 17:30:18

done

Done

iklboo Wed 22-Feb-12 17:49:51

Done.

doughnutty Wed 22-Feb-12 17:50:00

Done

Notthefullshilling Wed 22-Feb-12 17:54:40

Please delete my form dear Mn HQ. Thank you and sorry for any difficulty I may have caused.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges Wed 22-Feb-12 17:56:58

I thought it was a slight flaw in the survey that sexual assault and rape were quite often lumped together. I would think it might have been more worthwhile to ask different questions about them. There could for example have been more focus on how common minor incidents of assault and lack of consent was in the experience of young women.

ItsOkItsJustMyBreath Wed 22-Feb-12 18:02:09

done

AnnMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 22-Feb-12 18:13:33

Notthefullshilling - we can but can I ask why? You've not caused us any bother AFAIK

JugglingWithTangentialOranges - we did think about this but felt on balance it would make the survey too long and complicated - there are so many questions we'd have liked to ask but we have to have a limit on this to maximise the time you guys so kindly give us.

Notthefullshilling Wed 22-Feb-12 18:45:39

I feel that a little uncomfortable that mn are only asking female mn to respond, think the survey would be considerd more if it represented what female and male mn folk had to say. It also sends an unintended signal that a difference between male and female rape exists. FYI a really good piece was done on the Jeremy Vine show on radio two yesterday, I did flag it up! It was on male rape and it had every single thought and reflection that is said when talking about women being raped, but it was from men and male support group.

I also think you ask about abuse of young people in your survey (I do not know I did not trigger any of the more complex questions, that I think others did just by what others have said in this thread.) It would I think again be useful to offer those who have been the victim of this kind of abuse a chance to add their views. By which I mean the now well known of paedophile activities carried out in institutions such as churches and care homes against young boys / men should be added to the overwhelming weight of experience that women mn members have.

TwllBach Wed 22-Feb-12 18:48:48

Done - Can I ask, is having someone force their penis in your mouth always classed as rape? I have always thought that anything but anal or vaginal penetration was sexual abuse. I'm not saying that any of them or worse/better than the other, but I've always classed my experience as 'sexual abuse' and not 'rape.' I'm not sure why it matters, it doesn't, it doesn't make it better or worse, so I don't know why I'm asking really sad

Done

Oblomov Wed 22-Feb-12 19:31:16

Done. AnnieLob mentioned co-workers on Q11. I don't think I answered a Q11. Seems odd.

TottWriter Wed 22-Feb-12 19:34:47

Done.

It would be interesting to follow this up at a later date with a survey about unwanted sexualised attention. I have never been raped or assaulted, but I have had a lot of unpleasant attention from men (such as men walking past and commenting on the size of my breasts while I was only a foot or two away), and I know several other women in a similar position to myself.

While this is leagues away from rape and sexual assault in terms of severity, it does still tie into similar issues.

happygilmore Wed 22-Feb-12 19:35:51

Done, can I ask that there is a link for people to go to if they'd like to talk to someone? Rape crisis perhaps? www.rapecrisis.org.uk/

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 22-Feb-12 20:12:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZuzuBailey Wed 22-Feb-12 20:22:36

Done.

I have realised that I answered in a different way from how I would have when I was a lot younger sad

I'd definitely report any sexual assault now - when I was a young woman I probably would have tolerated a higher level of unwanted sexual attention.

Is this common/normal? I just don't know.

witchwithallthetrimmings Wed 22-Feb-12 20:29:46

Done, think there should be more questions about how we reported assault against us when we were children, I remember telling my sister straight away but my mum did not find out till my mid twenties

happygilmore Wed 22-Feb-12 20:34:53

I'm the opposite Zuzu - in the past I would have said I would always report a sexual assault, however now I have experience (through someone close to me not myself) of what can happen when you do so, I would never dream of reporting a sexual assault unless it was committed by a stranger sad

Onesunnymorningin2012 Wed 22-Feb-12 20:44:47

Done.

Mouseface Wed 22-Feb-12 20:56:28

Done sad

brawhen Wed 22-Feb-12 20:56:45

Zuzu & Happy - I thought about same question as I filled out the survey.

I started thinking that I'd fill out the survey for balance as never been raped / sexually assaulted.

As I filled it in realised that I could actually remember at least 3 instances of sexual assault (being flashed & kissed by co-worker, all as young adult).

Reflected that these days I would report that, though I had done nothing at the time.

Reflected a bit more that actually, I would be extremely unlikely to report those things because of impact on family & 'hassle' of having to defend myself through the investigation (based on hearsay / impression of what happens - not based on any personal experience)

AnnMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 22-Feb-12 21:17:56

Thanks for all the comments and for doing the survey. I will ask the campaigns team to come back to you.

rubycon Wed 22-Feb-12 21:48:47

done

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Wed 22-Feb-12 21:57:57

Done

PattiMayor Wed 22-Feb-12 22:03:21

Thanks for the namecheck. I'm glad you're doing this but think that conflating rape and sexual assault is a bit of a mistake - it's one I made but I'm not sure that it's terribly helpful.

I've been groped by random blokes which is sexual assault but that's not in the same league as rape. I am not for one moment minimising sexual assault but the term covers such a wide range of assault that I'm worried it will dilute the impact of the results

TheTempest Wed 22-Feb-12 22:22:32

Done.

redrubyshoes Wed 22-Feb-12 22:24:36

Done

PieceOfTheMoon Wed 22-Feb-12 22:32:04

Done

KatieMiddleton Wed 22-Feb-12 22:47:16

Hmm. There's no distinction between serious sexual assault and the sort of stuff women have been putting up with for centuries - eg groping.

I have replied but I think unless you get your definition straight your results are going to be skewed or invalidated. How many people are replying about sexual assaults and describing non-consensual groping and how many are saying no sexual assault because they don't believe groping to be sexual assault?

KatieMiddleton Wed 22-Feb-12 22:48:10

Sorry that was quite critical I applaud your aim, but you do know how I love a good survey MNHQ...

choccyp1g Wed 22-Feb-12 22:53:26

Done.

Jux Wed 22-Feb-12 23:18:09

Done

room4another1 Wed 22-Feb-12 23:50:21

Done

fridakahlo Thu 23-Feb-12 01:36:13

As far as I am concerned groping is an attack on your bodily autonomy and therefore is assault of a sexual nature. Also if you disregard groping of breasts, would that discount the grabbing of the vagina, because to me that was sexual assault. Just because people interpret it differently, does not stop it being sexual assault.
And if you diminish one level of sexual assault,
you diminish them all.
"Why are you complaining, he only grabbed your breasts?"
"Why are you complaining, he only grabbed your vagina?"
And so-on, all level of assault should be TOTALLY unacceptable.

Twllbach: :-( I don't really know the legal answer to that. But having experienced it I can say that it was as traumatic or perhaps more so than being raped vaginally (I'm choc full of lovely experiences on this front). I think that is important not to go down the road sign posted "but what happened me wasn't rape, I shouldn't make a fuss about it." (And I am not saying that is what you are doing, but a just sensed this from your question, ignore me if I am wrong please). Your bodily integrity was violated against your will. It was rape in my book.

ArtexMonkey Thu 23-Feb-12 04:09:39

Done

TwllBach Thu 23-Feb-12 06:34:07

No CatitainaHatita you're spot on, no ignoring necessary.

Codandchops Thu 23-Feb-12 07:52:31

Done, good to think about things in this survery. I was abused as a child by an older male cousin and it was never reported to the police quite simply because my mother did not know what to do.

mummymccar Thu 23-Feb-12 09:18:34

Done. Thanks for this campaign MNHQ - if it can change even one person's mind with regard to how rape & sexual assault survivors are treated then it'll be worth it.

KatieMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 23-Feb-12 10:33:32

Hi Everyone

Thanks for taking the time to complete the survey and comment here - really good to have had such a response already.

On a couple of the specific points - Notthefullshilling we did consider including men, and were initially keen to - for the reasons you discuss - however, we realised the number of responses we got were unlikely to be statistically significant and we felt it would be good to reflect the questions and discussions that arose following CristinedePizan's original survey.

That said, I think in the press release and our coverage we can definitely look to include the most relevant British Crime Survey Stats (BCS) on male rape and make the point it's not a women only issue.

PattiMayor In terms of conflating rape and sexual assault, although the survey covers both, we can separate out the results eg xx% have suffered rape xx% have suffered sexual assault. We also worked hard to have clear definitions, informed by the BCS in the opening paragraph. You're right though - this is a very tricky survey and we're working hard with the insight team (who are trained and experienced in these matters) to ensure our final stats are very robust.

TwllBach The law was changed in 2003 to include penetration of the mouth or anus without consent in the legal definition of rape.

happygilmore we will definitely add the Rape Crisis link (and hopefully a phone number) to the bottom of the survey - thanks for pointing that out.

KatieMiddleton we thought long and hard about your point. We hope that the note on language in the intro will let MNers know what is included in each category. From a legal standpoint, "non-consensual groping" is considered sexual assault.

Monsterbookoftyson As far as we can see, you could talk about your case in general terms but could not include details (including his name, circumstances of rape etc) that could identify her attacker, though do only do what you feel comfortable doing.

Thanks again to everyone who's completed the survey, especially to those for whom it will have been a difficult thing to do.

Best

MNHQ

Zhx3 Thu 23-Feb-12 10:39:20

Done, thanks for raising awareness

RiskItForABiscuit Thu 23-Feb-12 10:51:49

Done.

Notthefullshilling Thu 23-Feb-12 11:29:59

KatieMumsnet: Hi Katie thank you for your comprehensive reply to my post, I fully appreciate the thinking behind your reasons. Rape and sexual abuse is a societal problem not a gendered one and I would like to see a change in he national psyche that puts rape against any human outside the acceptible norm in our society. This would mean openly discussing male, and child rape as it would bring home to a much wider and in particular the small percentage of men who passively support the notions often spoke about here that other humans are "fair" game for what ever reason. So I hope you do not see this as me throwing toys out the pram but I will continue to look for a way that to make the argument that provides the largest body of evidence that is not able to be sidelined becouse it is from "the usual suspects".

Again apologies if I sound rude, I support without reservation all the objectives the campaign is aimed at, and if nothing else I know it will raise the issue in the public sphere which is not a bad thing at all, even better if it assists people suffering, from ongoing rape, or those who have not had the ability to report a rape come forward and start to reclaim their lives.

mamadoc Thu 23-Feb-12 12:33:15

brawhen and zuzu - I feel just the same. I initially thought I would just fill it in but have nothing to report but then I remembered that as a teenager/ young woman I was actually kissed and groped against my will on two different occasions by much older men in positions of authority over me. I never reported either of these and from where I am now I can't imagine why I didn't. At the time I really thought I would be blamed although objectively I did nothing to encourage it. I really hope that we can contribute to changing our society as I would hate my daughter to experience the same.

AmethystMoon Thu 23-Feb-12 12:48:14

I've completed the survey, but I am in full agreement with Notthefullshilling regarding male rape. I work as a volunteer on a rape and sexual abuse helpline and male rape and sexual abuse is far more common than people may imagine. Many men also feel they are unable to report it because it may in some way cast doubt upon their masculinity in the eyes of others. Many people still fail to see how male rape could possible happen...but it does and in just as many ways as affects women, i.e. anal penetrative rape (by penis or object), female rape of men (many people find this hardest to understand) this can happen with younger boys/men by females in authority positions, but not always, oral rape and so on. I see what MN are saying as to why they didn't include it but it does seem like they've taken the easy option and I fear male rape will remain as hidden as it is now, which is incredibly sad. As notthefullshilling says the issue is rape against any human, regardless of gender or age. I won't even get started on the calls I take from children being raped and sexually abused. It really is a wider issue, but all of the time the myth that it's a female issue is perpetuated, we won't make progress as a society. I'm not knocking what MN are doing, all awareness raising is great, but let's lead thew way on this issue, not follow the crowd.

Nilgiri Thu 23-Feb-12 12:58:44

Perhaps the ideal way to lead on this issue would be to partner with a heavily male website and suggest they too run such a survey?

Such a thing could be announced in the press release, as it may be easier to get men to participate after seeing the women's results than just doing it cold. (All those "but what about us" feelings could be usefully harnessed - even just to encourage the Nothing to Report responses which are statistically important.)

FeathersMcGraw Thu 23-Feb-12 13:29:39

done...

The law was changed in 2003 to include penetration of the mouth or anus without consent in the legal definition of rape.

I always thought what happened to me was a sexual assault. Seeing the legal definition of rape has shook me, tbh sad

TwllBach Thu 23-Feb-12 13:35:46

I felt the same way Feathers it's funny how just changing one word can have such an impact. 'Sexual assault' feels much easier to brush under the carpet, when really, nothing has changed - not the act itself, not the impact it had and not the way I feel about it.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges Thu 23-Feb-12 14:06:10

I think remembering any such experiences on this spectrum of sexual assault to rape is almost bound to be upsetting. I hope everyone here is OK.

Notthefullshilling Thu 23-Feb-12 15:02:56

Thank you AmethystMoon just what I wanted to say but you did it much better than I could. Also I agree with Nilgiri mumsnet can run the "female" angle but partner up with Bernardos and as a start pointhttp://www.aest.org.uk/survivors/male/myths_about_male_rape.htm for a partner organisation for the male side of things. I wish I could remember the name of the charity that was on the Jeremy vine show but brain ache prevents it at the moment.

yellowraincoat Thu 23-Feb-12 15:16:58

Thanks for the survey. Was quite shocked to realise how many times I had been sexually assaulted and can understand how hard it is to get the terms right. If you divide it into "serious" and "non-serious" sexual assault, that's really trivialising. But then being groped is not going to be as serious for many as other things.

KatieMiddleton Thu 23-Feb-12 15:26:17

Thanks MNHQ. I agree.

The key to all of this is respect for others. When that is missing awful behaviour occurs and then has potential to escalate.

I included the groping in my response. I think it's important to acknowledge how much "low level" (for want of a better term) sexual assault goes on. Then we can make it socially unacceptable.

yellowraincoat Thu 23-Feb-12 15:30:12

It does make me wonder what on earth is going through men's minds when they grope. I have NEVER looked at another person and thought "oh I'll grope his/her arse."

How fucking odd and pathetic.

LeninGrad Thu 23-Feb-12 15:35:01

Re: definitions of sexual assault - a footballer was convicted of sexual assault for touching a woman's hair against her will (amongst the other crimes he committed against her). These things are sexual assault and if surveys like this highlight that, that helps with understanding and awareness too.

LeninGrad Thu 23-Feb-12 15:38:04

And it is ok to focus on women's experiences in this instance. Women are the overwhelming users of this site, many other organisations work with and for their key groups too. That is not to say children and men don't matter, of course they do, it's just ok to focus on women for this for now.

StewieGriffinsMom Thu 23-Feb-12 15:46:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yellowraincoat Thu 23-Feb-12 15:47:18

I think it's totally fine to focus on women too. Agree, of course, that male rape and child abuse are totally awful and need to be addressed. But sometimes campaigns need a tight focus.

LizzieChickens Thu 23-Feb-12 15:55:16

Arg, that was horrible. But I've done it. Am trying to be more open about what happened to me and to start talking about it. Thanks for constructing a good, positive survey that did not make me feel ashamed or intimidated.

Done.

i don't think anyone needs to apologise for focussing on women in this instance.

have done the survey - bit ouchy but glad i contributed.

Amodmillymum Thu 23-Feb-12 19:48:51

I think you should outline and provide the legal parameters that are set out regarding rape and sexual assault.

Under section 1(1) SOA 2003 a defendant, A, is guilty of rape if:

_ A intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of B (the complainant) with his penis;

_ B does not consent to the penetration; and,

_ A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Thu 23-Feb-12 19:49:52

Done.

I have not experienced either rape or sexual assault.

I have completed the survery to hopefully make it a little more representative. If I was to win the prize (I know it's unlikely) could it be donated to one of the charities that you sought advice from please?

PattiMayor Thu 23-Feb-12 19:54:09

I suppose I felt that if I had talked about my earliest sexual assault (when I was nine, some random bloke stuck his hand up my skirt when I was sitting on a wall) then that would have meant that I couldn't talk about my (first) rape which felt a lot more traumatic at the time. Having said that, the assault when I was a kid had far-reaching consequences I think which I'm only just beginning to think about.

BTW KatieMN - I am ChristinedePizan, twirling around under a new moniker!

tinierclanger Thu 23-Feb-12 20:13:23

Another one who thinks the survey would have been better to separate rape and sexual assault. I've never been seriously sexually assaulted, and I answered No, but like the majority of women, I've been groped. I think failing to distinguish on that question will distort the results.

HarryRedknappsDog Thu 23-Feb-12 20:14:40

Done

BitchyHen Thu 23-Feb-12 20:39:20

done

newbiedoobiedoo Thu 23-Feb-12 20:46:31

Done.

PeppermintPanda Thu 23-Feb-12 20:47:24

Done

Jellykat Thu 23-Feb-12 21:01:08

Done

Exogenesis Thu 23-Feb-12 21:36:42

Completed.

BillyBollyBandy Thu 23-Feb-12 21:38:30

I think there will be very few women who haven't been sexually assaulted, sadly.

Have completed the survey.

QuintessentialyHollow Thu 23-Feb-12 22:22:24

Completed. But left mn nickname blank.

QuintessentialyHollow Thu 23-Feb-12 22:22:50

Now, why did I say that? hmm

OneLieIn Fri 24-Feb-12 07:51:35

Done but didn't add any personal details.

Fraktal Fri 24-Feb-12 08:58:46

Done.

tinier I don't agree it will distort results. Assault of a sexual nature is far too common in society and if this survey reveals that it is A Good Thing.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges Fri 24-Feb-12 09:12:02

Another thing - I thought it was a pity you could only choose one age bracket (they said to put age bracket for earliest such bad experience) Wouldn't it be worth finding out all the applicable age brackets for the respondent ?
Otherwise dilemmas in doing the survey like Patti's post shows above. I would think many people may have experienced incidents ( possibly often more minor ones) in eg. teens and twenties, if not later in life too.

Overall I think the survey could have been better compiled in a couple of respects. I think you could be more reassuring too eg. Say that you can exit survey at any time, stress that you do not have to add contact details, and reassure that these will not be used. It's all very sensitive stuff and I admire people's honesty, and hope raising awareness will be for the good of all - especially the next generation.

orangina Fri 24-Feb-12 10:05:41

Have done it, but think I have got the age bracket wrong. Ticked the age I am now, NOT the age I was first assaulted.

Am also shocked at how many times I was assaulted and while I was filling this out, how many times I thought to myself "well, that doesn't REALLY count......"

shock

tinierclanger Fri 24-Feb-12 10:14:39

Of course if the survey reveals it that's a Good Thing but it is confusing to complete and therefore won't reveal with the necessary clarity. I think it's great Mumsnet are doing this but questionnaire design is a sophisticated business and I think this one could have been better, that's all.

mousymouseafraidofdogs Fri 24-Feb-12 10:29:12

orangina
absolutely, when I first started the survey I thought I have not been assaulted or raped. but thinking about it there have been many many incidents of inappropriate sexual contact/attention that are more or less just accepted in society.

angrywoman Fri 24-Feb-12 11:26:27

Dunnit

Have completed it but not sure my experiences fit with your definitions - have explained as well as I can so feel free to ignore mine if necessary.

If sex is consensual with a condom being used and then the male partner removes the condom mid way without telling you is that assault?

racingheart Fri 24-Feb-12 15:00:45

I'm dense about law and don't know whether defence lawyer refers to the lawyer defending the victim against the rapist or the lawyer defending the rapist who is charged. The latter I'm guessing but please will you clarify?

StewieGriffinsMom Fri 24-Feb-12 15:47:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flowery Fri 24-Feb-12 17:19:29

I've done it but I think I've probably put the number of incidents too low, due to usual response to groping being rolling eyes therefore forgetting.

NaughtyMrChicken Fri 24-Feb-12 18:13:45

Done

PearsBeaufort Fri 24-Feb-12 19:07:47

Done.

giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow Fri 24-Feb-12 22:45:49

done

CardgamesFTW Sat 25-Feb-12 00:00:20

As a part of the campaign, I'd like to see some information of what counts as sexual assault - I'm not sure of it myself.

Smurfy1 Sat 25-Feb-12 00:26:30

Done

Done.

Done.

Done.

Done

coff33pot Sat 25-Feb-12 22:24:53

what is this campaign actually going to do? I have real reasons for asking. Is it to actually help alter the law? ruling? change the way they consider wether to prosecute?

CointreauVersial Sat 25-Feb-12 23:02:47

Hmmm....I felt a bit fraudulent calling the two minor groping incidents I have experienced "sexual assaults", even though by the letter of the law that's what they were. On neither occasion did I feel scared/assaulted/traumatised, just slightly annoyed/incredulous, and I did not feel the need to report either incident.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges Sat 25-Feb-12 23:10:50

I felt similar Cointreau - I think if the survey had been better put together there would have been room for everyone's experience.

I could have done with more subtlety and sensitivity in this survey.

If the conclusion is (eg) 60% of MNers were sexually assaulted/raped before the age of 25 or whatever then where does that really get any of us ? How does that take things forward ?

coff33pot Sun 26-Feb-12 01:23:56

So is that was this is about? just to find out a % of how many women have been assaulted or raped?

Far better to have a survey on exactly how many incidences actually resulted in a conviction. Then another for how many victims were told honestly how low the rate is and the chances of conviction are when they walk in the door before they went through hell and back......

Then maybe campaign to get the laws changed in how prosecution service looks at cases.

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 26-Feb-12 07:54:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joiyuk Sun 26-Feb-12 09:17:29

Done.

msrisotto Sun 26-Feb-12 11:41:13

Since i've done it, i keep remembering things. Like how could I forget that in a nightclub a bloke licked and bit my breast? How did that slip my mind?

areyoumad Sun 26-Feb-12 12:59:39

Done - I do think it probably needed to be a bit more in depth, mine didn't really fit into the questions, so I used the box at the end to go into more detail. I had problems with the age brackets so although I came in the Under 10 age bracket, I didn't actually go to the police until I was 22. I hope using the boxes at the end was OK.
I also said I would be happy to talk further about it, does that mean automatically anything I've now said can be published or do you have to check with me (or anyone else who said yes as well) before hand.

mamadoc Sun 26-Feb-12 15:52:50

Definitions are very hard though aren't they?
A lot of people have said that they don't really regard 'groping' as sexual assault but what does that mean and what about the context?
I've experienced some unwanted drunken rubbing of body parts in a nightclub and felt annoyed but not threatened but also experienced a similar level of touching as very threatening when it came from a much older man in a position of responsibility over me at work and in a confined (not public) place.

Livelongandprosper Sun 26-Feb-12 16:15:08

Done

Bgilly Sun 26-Feb-12 20:03:20

Are the findings of this survey going to be available to the general public?

Riddo Sun 26-Feb-12 20:59:09

Done

LanaJ Sun 26-Feb-12 21:58:22

done

HoneyandHaycorns Sun 26-Feb-12 22:20:42

Done

winnybella Sun 26-Feb-12 22:25:45

Done

UmYeahLikeTotally Mon 27-Feb-12 14:15:28

Done

done

BertieBotts Mon 27-Feb-12 18:42:23

Oh, oops, I got the defence and prosecution things the wrong way around, I've never been in court so I didn't know which was which and guessed. MNHQ could you swap my answers round please?

singarainbow Tue 28-Feb-12 06:14:12

Done, feel like I've been wrung out, which has taken me by surprise. It's funny how this sort of feeling sneaks up on you when you think you are doing ok.

Sophiarian Wed 29-Feb-12 12:10:21

Done. I didn't fill in the section that asked if I would like to be contacted by press, media etc., because I wasn't sure whether it would be filtered through you or they would have direct access to my details.

Suziki Sun 04-Mar-12 03:54:28

Done- thank you for raising awareness and challenging sexist myths regarding violence against women. I'd like to say that I completely understand and agree with you that this survey should be andis about women only as it is well documented that sexual violence is used as form of control against women by men. This is not to say that men and children being raped or sexually abused is less important or not important but that we need to look at both in their specific social contexts. thanks once again for doing this and to every women who is completing the survey

Done

wishes Sun 04-Mar-12 22:22:40

I too agree that there's nothing wrong in principle with sometimes surveying women only. I also think NotTheFullShilling and AmethystMoon are quite wrong to suggest there is no difference between male and female rape. While there may be similarities in its causes and effects, there are also important differences, which I think it is quite wrong and insensitive (to both genders) to ignore or minimise. I hate to point it out to you, but there are a few fairly major differences between an anus and a vagina - to conflate the two, as is implied, feels pretty misogynistic to me.

Also, to say that rape is not a gendered issue is just not true. Why would someone say that? Why would male rape survivors feel they had been emasculated if this were not the case?

ps reading the comments in this thread, I realise I have under-reported as well in my survey responses by omitting the 'less serious' experiences. If I hadn't been raped, I might have made more of experiences which, by comparison, were somewhat less..major.

franch Mon 05-Mar-12 11:45:12

Done

ally90 Tue 06-Mar-12 11:58:21

Done. I'm surprised too at the amount of things that came back to me. Stuff I just was annoyed about or irritated. So much you brush over because its something you have no hope in hell of doing anything about.

Hope this takes off with the media...doubt it will as they are too bias...how about we get rid of page 3 in the sun smile that's another reason it makes it okay to talk to a womans boobs.

TBE Tue 06-Mar-12 15:34:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges Tue 06-Mar-12 16:58:01

Thanks for carrying out this survey on our behalf, MNHQ

(even though, as I mentioned, I had a couple of ideas about how it could be improved - I think it did need more questions and more provision for a variety of responses including the more minor incidents which may be experienced by many especially in their youth. Let's hope we can make all such horrible experiences much less common than they sadly are/ have been)

AnnMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 07-Mar-12 11:04:08

Thanks to everyone who has completed the survey. We've sorted out the winner who would like to remain anon.

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