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Q&A about sleep with Pampers and baby sleep expert Jo Tantum - ANSWERS BACK

(34 Posts)
LucilleMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 03-Feb-14 10:24:47

We're running a Q&A this week with Pampers on sleep with Jo Tantum, a baby sleep expert on the Pampers Love, Sleep and Play expert panel with 25 years' experience. Jo is the author of bestseller 'Baby Secrets' helping hundreds of families to achieve a peaceful night's sleep. She is a trusted name within the parenting sector and provides expert advice, literature and professional services to parents everywhere. Jo spent three years studying at Basford Hall College where she gained qualifications with the Nursery Nursing Education Board (NNEB), specialising in the physical, intellectual, linguistical, emotional and social aspects of babies and toddlers.

Pampers recognises that important brain development occurs when your baby sleeps, as they process everything they have learnt during the day. New Pampers Baby-Dry keeps moisture away from baby's skin, helping them to stay dry for up to 12 hours and ensuring they are kept dry through the night, aiding a restful night's sleep.

Post your questions to Jo before 9am on Monday 10th February and we'll send over a selection and post her answers on Monday 17th February.

This Q&A is sponsored by Pampers

Dolallytats England Mon 03-Feb-14 11:08:13

My DD (6 months) slept beautifully in her cot until she was 5 months old. I have no idea why, but she then started screaming when I tried to put her in it to sleep at night (she's never slept in it during the day).

I was very silly (I know!!) and let her sleep in my bed because I was just too shattered to deal with it. I also have a 5 year old and he would get woken by her crying so I thought at least this way he would get enough sleep.

However, I didn't want to co-sleep and would love to get het settled back in her cot. She cries when I leave the room in the evening before bedtime and also if I just walk across the bedroom to turn the light off when she is in the bed because she thinks I am leaving her.

How do I (painlessly!!) get back on track, please?

CrispyCrochet Mon 03-Feb-14 12:05:55

Hi Jo,

My question is also around co-sleeping. My DS is 8 weeks and since day one the only way I've been able to get him to sleep is being held or in the car seat. I've been co-sleeping with him (essentially just breastfeeding until we both fall asleep). I've found it a wonderful experience and really enjoy it as we both get sleep and I love cuddling my baby.

However, I don't see this is a long term solution - especially as recently I've developed some pretty severe elbow pain which is pretty terrible while holding DS (I'm guessing it is from keeping my elbow bent for extended periods of time).

I would just like tips on how to wean my baby off needing me to sleep - I'd love to be able to put him down during the day to sleep on his own but more importantly at night.

Thank you.

maudlucy Mon 03-Feb-14 12:30:13

Hi Jo,
My daughter is 2 and I can't get her to sleep unless I go to bed with her and lie next to her, usually in my/our bed. It's my own fault as I've been co-sleeping but we need to change this as my husband is about to start treatment for cancer so we can't have her in our bed. We have turned her cot into the little toddler bed, she has a nice cosy room but just goes hysterical when we try to put her in it. Any advice would be welcome as we are desperate.
Thank you

AbigailsMummy13 Mon 03-Feb-14 14:22:41

Hi Jo,

I have a 4 month old little girl who until just after new year was sleeping virtually through the night with possibly one wake up. But since she hit week 15 it has been a nightmare, she is waking every few hours in the night and whilst I am sure she cannot be massively hungry, the only way to get her to sleep is to feed her. I have tried leaving her to cry it out, rubbing her back/belly/forehead. And I've shushed her for hours ! Yet 90% of the time I have to feed her. I am so tired and very stressed, please help!

Sarah xx

P.s. Naps in the day are all fine and so is feeding, she goes every 3 hours!

gubbinsy Mon 03-Feb-14 14:37:00

Hi Jo
My son is 12 weeks and co sleeps with me - from around 10pm till 4 or 5am then feed then till 7 or 8. In the day, he naps but only in the sling. He will nod off in the pram if it's moving but wakes when we get home. It's ok at the moment but starting to worry about how to get him to sleep on his own both day and night. Day would be the start for me I think as my shoulders are starting to hurt! If I put him in his cot he cries and wriggles. I don't want to leave him to
Cry - do wait a while when it's just whinging but he just builds up. Any advice or so I need to bite the bullet and keep him in the cot till he falls asleep
In the day? He will occasionally sleep there but no more than 30-40 mins whereas in the sling he'll do a good 2 hours in the morning then shorter naps the rest of the day. He also doesn't really sleep between 7 and his night sleep at 10 - tried basic bedtime routine but not seeming to work. Trying to aim for a gradual earlier bed time - husband and I would like evening!

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Mon 03-Feb-14 20:51:40

Hi Jo

My 20wk old DS is generally good through the day but not so much at night! We can't get him into a set predictable bedtime and he wakes overnight every 2-3hrs he is content when he wakes, but takes around 30mins to settle him again, we generally end up co sleeping as I'm so exhausted but he has a Moses basket in our room.

On a typical day he will take bottles at 6, 10, 2, 6 and 9pm (this late bottle I thought he would have dropped by now). He sleeps 7am-8am(can't keep him awake) then 9-10, good 2hr sleep 12-2, then a nap at some stage usually 40mins before 6pm bottle. Then he'll sleep at 7.30pm but always wakes 45mins later, then bottle at 9 and into Moses basket for 10.30, waking frequently thereafter.

I would like to know if there is a way to get him into a bedtime routine at a set time, and the best way to tackle the night wakings. I realise there is no quick fix but any advice is most welcome smile

cakebaby Mon 03-Feb-14 21:20:36

Hi Jo
Another co sleeping issue here. Ds is 22 wks, we had good sleep (2 wakes for bf) until 3 weeks of d&v virus over Xmas. During the illness we co slept for survival, or so it felt! Then the 4 month regression hit us very hard. Now ds will not entertain his co sleeper crib at all, he sleeps with me, naps with me, feeding on and off, inadvertently we're are now feeding to sleep to boot. Its all gone wrong and I don't know where to start fixing it!

Drowsy doesn't exist, i've tried muslins, put down awake/asleep, white noise, lullabies, leaving him (5 mins of hysterical crying, hiccups & sick), sitting with him, shush pat, pick up/put down, Pantley pull off, husband cannot settle him either. He has no self settling ability and has not slept more than 2 hrs at a time since early Dec. He is exhausted and so am I. I am his sleep cue and don't know where to go from here.

My short term aim is for him to fall asleep in his co sleeper crib and stay asleep for a reasonable amount of time and longer term to move him to his cot in his own room. Will either ever happen without cc/CIO?

Magstermay Wed 05-Feb-14 09:01:40

I am currently having problems with my 4 month old (19 weeks) with no idea how to manage it!

He was sleeping fairly well at night in his bedside crib, waking to feed once or twice and going back to sleep ok. Recently he has seemed to feed pretty much constantly at night and often wakes 1/2 hour after I put him back in bed even when he's out cold, or he won't go back in at all. He will manage 2-3 hours at the start of the night. He almost always feeds to sleep. He falls asleep with a feed 6.30/7pm and I put him into bed asleep.

In the day he will only fall asleep when feeding or out for a walk so he is often sleeping around feeding times during the day so if I try putting him in his bed he often wakes because he's hungry too. I want to start using a sleeping bag for daytime naps at home but I'm not sure where to start. I keep thinking that having him asleep on me during the day can't be helping at night! He gets up 6 or 6.30am and generally has a nap when I feed him around 7.45, usually falling straight to sleep. Other naps are erratic at the mo depending what we are doing during the day. He doesn't seem to sleep much- it's as though he doesn't want to miss anything!

He is mainly breastfed but has some formula at night so his Dad can help. I don't know where to start!

ight Wed 05-Feb-14 21:41:55

Hello Jo

Co-sleeping used to help us all get better sleep, but now it's stopped working!

Our 18 month old DS climbs into bed with us around midnight. It takes him ages to settle back to sleep - he fidgets, kicks, moans, sits up, has a chat, crawls to the end of the bed... Some nights this can go on for nearly 2 hours. DH or I sometimes take him back to his own bed and sleep with him, but the restlessness continues.

He sometimes wakes around 10pm and comes into the living room whilst we're watching TV (we live in a flat). We lead him back by the hand and he usually settles back ok with a kiss and head stroke.

He goes to bed around 8pm. We have to sit by the door or go in and out / hover outside his room pretending to do chores until he falls asleep. Up until about a month ago, we could kiss him goodnight and walk out - just like in the movies.

He sleeps in an adult single with a bed guard, but he can climb out at the bottom end.

So, what technique is best to get him to stay in his own bed? I'm worried about the long spells of broken sleep he's getting too.

Any advice would be much appreciated. Just a thought, could it be a physical problem, e.g. restless legs or food intolerance? (we have cut out cows milk as he has lactose intolerance).

Many thanks

cogitosum Thu 06-Feb-14 10:14:13

Hi Jo

My ds is 6 months old. During the day he mostly naps in the sling. He will nap in cot/carseat/pushchair but only for half hour whereas in the sling he'll nap for 1 hour +

My question though is about nights. He was a really good sleeper from about 6 weeks he'd do 4-6 hours from about 10-4 then he'd wake every hour til we got up about 9. By 4
months he'd do up to 8 hours but would always wake every 40-80 minutes after the long stretch.

The 4 month regression hit us badly but he came out of it and was doing well til solids. Now he's back to 4-5 hours then every 80 minutes.

He self-settles initially but when he wakes up at night will usually need to feed or he won't settle. He goes to bed at 8.30 and I wake him at 7.30. The earlier he goes to bed the worse it is but if I keep him up later he's grouchy during the day!

Please help!

GuntherandRockysMummy Thu 06-Feb-14 13:01:16

Hi Jo
Please help! We have a delightful 10mth old son who is great during the day, naps on cue, eats well, plays, laughs etc etc but the night times are a completely different story. He goes down for bed at around 7.30pm after bath, story and a bottle and falls asleep awake with his dummy. Then....from about 1am, he is awake every hour or so either for his dummy putting back in or another bottle feed meaning that neither my husband or I get a full nights sleep. We have 2 other children who both slept well from 14wks so this problem is very frustrating!
We are now at the end of our tether as we have tried everything to sort this out but can seem to find anything that works. Hopefully you'll have a wonder cure!
Thank you

StuntNun Thu 06-Feb-14 18:42:37

My 15-month-old DS3 still doesn't sleep through the night, waking 1-3 times almost every night. Is this normal? We have had a bedtime routine for a year, put him down to sleep drowsy but awake and he self-settles, we don't go in at every noise etc, but nighttimes are an unpredictable nightmare. DS1 and DS2 weren't great sleepers but DS3 is really bad and it's affecting me emotionally, mentally and physically. I feel that I've done everything I can to encourage him to sleep but nothing works. Do I just have to wait it out?

A99Sing Fri 07-Feb-14 02:58:41

Hi Jo
How to get my 2.5 year old DD to stay in bed and go to sleep? We've tried cuddling (she just fiddles about with things, my hair, her feet, the covers etc), gradual withdrawal, bribes (morning stickers/chocolate biscuits), talking to her, shouting (probably works the best but not much fun for anyone), door-locking (DH in despair which I hated, worked until she figured out how to unlock the door from the inside)....I could go on.

Things got a bit better for couple months with I'll come back in 5, 10, 15 mins etc. but since we potty trained her this no longer works and everything is back to square one. We have her running out to us saying the lamp is on (she turns it on), I've done a wee (still in nappies at night time), I'm sad my daddy is at work (if he works late) or nana is gone (to her house), what are we doing tomorrow, an endless list of excuses to drag out bedtime.

This goes on for half an hour on a really good night, 2 hours on a bad night. Interestingly naps are much better. She'll either be asleep in about 5 minutes of cuddling or will stay in bed for a good 20 minuntes or so till she drops off.

Our second baby is due any day and we would love to find a way to manage this before new baby comes as it's bound to get worse with the new arrival.

sharond101 Fri 07-Feb-14 21:49:04

My DS 20mo was a reasonable sleeper (slept all night 7.30 - 7am) until 2 months ago when he started waking in the night and taking a long time to settle back to sleep. He also has been waking really early (been awake since 4am this morning.) When he wakes in the night I have tried not responding to him which results in an hour of whining then crying which is where I gave in and went to him. I now go in and tuck him into his cover and leave the room. I do this repeatedly until he either settles or starts getting too upset. Then I resort to lying on his floor and holding his hand or stroking his face. This can take over an hour to work. As a last resort I take him into the spare room but this only works until 6am as we live beside the railway and from the spare room the noise can be heard.
He normally naps from 12.30 - 2pm. I cut his nap down to 1hour 30minutes from 2 hours, 3 weeks ago to see if this helped, after 1 week it seemed to help but after two days it went back to as it is. I have tried giving him supper, no reslult, later bed, no improvement and tonight I have put an extra layer of clothes on him. I am worried he is just in a bad habit. Any suggestions?

babybouncer Sat 08-Feb-14 20:13:00

Hi Jo
We have a 4 yr old brilliant sleeper, but our 22 month old has never been that great at it. In the past, she has had spells of falling asleep without assistance, but for the past couple of months she has asked for another beaker of milk to have in her cot (sometimes as many as 4) and although she sometimes drains them, sometimes she clearly doesn't actually want the milk. Recently she has also been demanding that we sit next to the cot or demanding to come downstairs. It is not unusual for her to wake during the night - sometimes she just needs patting back to sleep, sometimes it takes 2/3 hrs and more milk to resettle her - and it can be any time from 10pm. She wakes for the day between 5:30 and 6:30. Surprisingly she naps reliably from 1-3pm every day.

The inconsistency is driving me mad - I never know whether I'm going to get a full nights sleep or not and she is capable of shouting/crying for hours if we try and 'enforce' sleep, which means no one (including her brother) gets to sleep. DH and I share the load, but he works away quite often and I end up sleeping on her floor as the best way to let everybody get some sleep.

How could I get some more consistency? (We already have a one hr bedtime routine with bath, book, milk and bed.) All the advice I can find seems to be aimed at babies or children and not really suitable for a toddler.

LucilleMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 17-Feb-14 16:11:10

We now have the answers back from Jo Tantum and we'll be posting them up shortly. Thanks to everyone who posted questions.

JoTantum Mon 17-Feb-14 16:26:41

Hello Mumsnetters!

Thank you for submitting all your questions, I have been busy writing answers to help empower you to teach your baby to learn to love their sleep. You are not alone, babies don’t just automatically sleep through the night, they often need to learn how, just like crawling and walking! My guidance should help your baby sleep through the night so that you can both look forward to brighter mornings together. As you know after a good night’s sleep, your baby can enjoy the best possible start to the day as they wake up bright, alert and full of energy!

Remember, you know your baby best and every baby is different, so I have given my best advice but make sure you follow your gut on what you instinctively know is best for your baby.

Good luck!

Thanks,
Jo

JoTantum Mon 17-Feb-14 16:27:30

Dolallytats

My DD (6 months) slept beautifully in her cot until she was 5 months old. I have no idea why, but she then started screaming when I tried to put her in it to sleep at night (she's never slept in it during the day).

I was very silly (I know!!) and let her sleep in my bed because I was just too shattered to deal with it. I also have a 5 year old and he would get woken by her crying so I thought at least this way he would get enough sleep.

However, I didn't want to co-sleep and would love to get het settled back in her cot. She cries when I leave the room in the evening before bedtime and also if I just walk across the bedroom to turn the light off when she is in the bed because she thinks I am leaving her.

How do I (painlessly!!) get back on track, please?

Hi Dolallytats,

It can be frustrating when your little one is sleeping well and then this stops, that is when you really miss your night’s sleep! This is all due to development stages in your baby. When your baby reaches 4-5 months old their sight and hearing becomes more acute. This means that if they are having naps in the day this can start to have an impact on nights, as it becomes a less restful sleep, as they are more aware of their surroundings. And of course if they aren't having good naps in the day they become overtired and overstimulated for the night.

Guidelines recommend against co-sleeping however I know sometimes you are just so tired and desperate for sleep that you feel that's the only way. My advice on the best way to sort this out would be to have the naps in the cot for a week, to get her back on track with night sleeping. Also start positive reinforcement of the cot. When she wakes in the morning or from naps, make a fuss, tickle her, make her smile, just for a few minutes before you 'Rescue' her from the cot. Follow this for 7 days and her nights should improve.

JoTantum Mon 17-Feb-14 16:27:55

CrispyCrochet

Hi Jo,

My question is also around co-sleeping. My DS is 8 weeks and since day one the only way I've been able to get him to sleep is being held or in the car seat. I've been co-sleeping with him (essentially just breastfeeding until we both fall asleep). I've found it a wonderful experience and really enjoy it as we both get sleep and I love cuddling my baby.

However, I don't see this is a long term solution - especially as recently I've developed some pretty severe elbow pain which is pretty terrible while holding DS (I'm guessing it is from keeping my elbow bent for extended periods of time).

I would just like tips on how to wean my baby off needing me to sleep - I'd love to be able to put him down during the day to sleep on his own but more importantly at night.

Thank you.

Hi CrispyCrochet,

Guidelines recommend against co-sleeping and I know sometimes you are just so tired and desperate for sleep that you feel that's the only way. A lot of parents come to me asking for help when sleep starts to become an issue for everyone, and it sounds like you need to stop as you are in pain. My advice to you is that if you place both hands on them whilst in the Moses basket and gently rock them, it will mean he doesn't get upset whilst transitioning into the Moses basket.

JoTantum Mon 17-Feb-14 16:28:22

maudlucy

Hi Jo,
My daughter is 2 and I can't get her to sleep unless I go to bed with her and lie next to her, usually in my/our bed. It's my own fault as I've been co-sleeping but we need to change this as my husband is about to start treatment for cancer so we can't have her in our bed. We have turned her cot into the little toddler bed, she has a nice cosy room but just goes hysterical when we try to put her in it. Any advice would be welcome as we are desperate.
Thank you

Hi maudlucy,

This must be a difficult time for you, so here is my advice. The best way to help with this is a “reward” programme, for example use stickers and a chart by her bed and explain that if she stays in her bed she will get a sticker. She will need lots of positive encouragement, make an effort to get her ready in her room, once you have put her PJ’s on, read her a bedtime story all in her own room, all this will really help her get used to being in her room and her own bed. Make sure you have a nice time in her room, for example doing puzzles, even tea parties, all this fun activity will reassure her that she isn't being punished by being in her room.

Put a stair gate on her room so she is safe. If she wakes in the night, return her to her bed quickly and say a reassuring sentence like: “it's night time love you”, but end the conversation there. If you are consistent with this it should work. Good Luck!

JoTantum Mon 17-Feb-14 16:28:49

AbigailsMummy13

Hi Jo,

I have a 4 month old little girl who until just after new year was sleeping virtually through the night with possibly one wake up. But since she hit week 15 it has been a nightmare, she is waking every few hours in the night and whilst I am sure she cannot be massively hungry, the only way to get her to sleep is to feed her. I have tried leaving her to cry it out, rubbing her back/belly/forehead. And I've shushed her for hours ! Yet 90% of the time I have to feed her. I am so tired and very stressed, please help!

Sarah xx

P.s. Naps in the day are all fine and so is feeding, she goes every 3 hours!

Hi AbigailsMummy13,

This is a normal 4 months sleep regression; the good news is that it is only a phase as long as you stop the feeding. This is because the feeding will become a habit and she will expect this when she wakes. At 4 months old babies become more aware of light and sound, so they will nap less if there is no blackout. As your baby is in your room, they will start to sync their sleep cycles with yours, so you start to disturb each other. Try to remedy this by putting some wave sounds on when they are sleeping in the day and at night. This should work as the brain will connect to the consistent noise rather than anything louder.

Try to soothe your baby by patting her shoulder with your hand on her chest for 15 minutes, and if she doesn't settle then feed her. This helps as she doesn't get fed straight away and starts to learn to resettle herself back to sleep.

JoTantum Mon 17-Feb-14 16:29:06

gubbinsy

Hi Jo
My son is 12 weeks and co sleeps with me - from around 10pm till 4 or 5am then feed then till 7 or 8. In the day, he naps but only in the sling. He will nod off in the pram if it's moving but wakes when we get home. It's ok at the moment but starting to worry about how to get him to sleep on his own both day and night. Day would be the start for me I think as my shoulders are starting to hurt! If I put him in his cot he cries and wriggles. I don't want to leave him to
Cry - do wait a while when it's just whinging but he just builds up. Any advice or so I need to bite the bullet and keep him in the cot till he falls asleep
In the day? He will occasionally sleep there but no more than 30-40 mins whereas in the sling he'll do a good 2 hours in the morning then shorter naps the rest of the day. He also doesn't really sleep between 7 and his night sleep at 10 - tried basic bedtime routine but not seeming to work. Trying to aim for a gradual earlier bed time - husband and I would like evening!

Hi gubbinsy,

Start trying to introduce naps in the cot, rather than the sling, as this will get harder as he gets older and heavier. If your shoulders are hurting now, as he gets heavier this will get worse. He will naturally be tired around every 1 hour 30 minutes of wake time. So watch out for tired signs and then take him to his nursery. At 12 weeks he will still have his startle reflex which is why he is waking after 30-40 minute sleep cycles rather than the 2 hours in a sling.

He isn't going down at 7PM because he is overtired, so start by taking his nappy off at 6:15PM, then bath and get him ready for bed. Then feed him in a room with no direct light, with just the landing light on. This way he should settle much more easily and you and your husband can get your evenings back!

JoTantum Mon 17-Feb-14 16:29:31

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight

Hi Jo

My 20wk old DS is generally good through the day but not so much at night! We can't get him into a set predictable bedtime and he wakes overnight every 2-3hrs he is content when he wakes, but takes around 30mins to settle him again, we generally end up co sleeping as I'm so exhausted but he has a Moses basket in our room.

On a typical day he will take bottles at 6, 10, 2, 6 and 9pm (this late bottle I thought he would have dropped by now). He sleeps 7am-8am(can't keep him awake) then 9-10, good 2hr sleep 12-2, then a nap at some stage usually 40mins before 6pm bottle. Then he'll sleep at 7.30pm but always wakes 45mins later, then bottle at 9 and into Moses basket for 10.30, waking frequently thereafter.

I would like to know if there is a way to get him into a bedtime routine at a set time, and the best way to tackle the night wakings. I realise there is no quick fix but any advice is most welcome smile

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight,

At 20 weeks your son probably needs to progress to a cot, as he will be banging his arms on the side which will be waking him up. Set a bedtime of 12 hours after his morning wake up time so if he wakes at 7AM then he will be ready for bed by 7PM. Do wind down time, nappy off, bath and feed in a calm and dark environment. He will be waking at night as he is hungry. I would advise that he shouldn't be on a four hourly feeding routine yet. This should be reached at 5.5-6 months once they are ready to be weaned. So try and have feeds every 3 hours 45 minutes and wake him for a feed at 10.30/11PM for his dream feed, if appropriate.

JoTantum Mon 17-Feb-14 16:29:58

cakebaby

Hi Jo
Another co sleeping issue here. Ds is 22 wks, we had good sleep (2 wakes for bf) until 3 weeks of d&v virus over Xmas. During the illness we co slept for survival, or so it felt! Then the 4 month regression hit us very hard. Now ds will not entertain his co sleeper crib at all, he sleeps with me, naps with me, feeding on and off, inadvertently we're are now feeding to sleep to boot. Its all gone wrong and I don't know where to start fixing it!

Drowsy doesn't exist, i've tried muslins, put down awake/asleep, white noise, lullabies, leaving him (5 mins of hysterical crying, hiccups & sick), sitting with him, shush pat, pick up/put down, Pantley pull off, husband cannot settle him either. He has no self settling ability and has not slept more than 2 hrs at a time since early Dec. He is exhausted and so am I. I am his sleep cue and don't know where to go from here.

My short term aim is for him to fall asleep in his co sleeper crib and stay asleep for a reasonable amount of time and longer term to move him to his cot in his own room. Will either ever happen without cc/CIO?

Hi cakebaby,

Of course you can get him sleeping better without cry it out or controlled crying, neither of which I advocate to get a baby to sleep. I use my spaced soothing technique which means you listening to your baby, responding when necessary, but taking a step back listening to what your baby is telling you.

At 22 weeks your baby is going to be tired after approximately every 2 hours of wake time, so watch for tired signs, and take him to where he sleeps. Blackout can really help for naps from 4 months. Give him a feed for a few minutes then put him in his cot. Put your hand on his chest, your other hand pat his shoulder, gently pulling him towards you. Say “ssshh” loudly as this will help calm.

Do this for a few minutes then leave the room and listen, there will be quiet gaps and sleep noises , “aarrr” and “mmmmm” - this is him telling you he can sleep himself, he may cry out once, but if there is a “mmmm” sound at the end again then leave him. Wait for 5 minutes and if in that time he is upset then go back in and soothe for 2-3 minutes. If he responds to the soothing then you can pat to sleep for all naps that day. This will help him get used to sleeping in the cot and you can use this in the night too. Try and use this instead of feeding, just for 15 minutes, then feed if you need to. If you continue this for 7 days and nights there should be huge improvements.

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